Ok folks here it is my first story. I want to first thank wytchwmn75 for kicking my ass and telling me to just shut up and write. Okay she was nicer than that but the point was made. I also her major props for pre-reading and pointing out my love (or addiction) of ! exclamation points. I also want to thank PTB for betaing this chapter.

Oh and before I forget, SM owns all things Twilight, and quite honestly her story owns me... I just like to play... And now on with the show

BPOV

Why does it always take twice as long to make a triple shot vanilla latte when you are in a rush? I thought this as I looked at my Blackberry for the third time; court started in twenty minutes and I couldn't be late. Standing there anxiously, I began tapping the toe of my Stuart Weitzman shoe in frustration.

"Order up for Alice," the barista called out from behind the counter. I sighed and went back to my tapping. When I looked up, I was looking straight into the bright blue eyes that sent me back to a time long ago and a life I have been desperately trying to forget.

"Bella… Bella Swan is that you?" Alice asked in a voice that still reminded me of Tinkerbelle and made her groan internally.

"Wow, Alice you look great! What are you doing here?" I said feigning excitement. Alice threw her arms around me in a fierce hug.

"Oh, I own a boutique around the corner and I needed my caffeine fix for the afternoon," Alice beamed at me.

"That's so great to hear, I should come in sometime and check it out," I said with a smile and looked at my Blackberry again.

"Order up for Bella," the barista finally called, causing me to let out an intentional sigh of relief. Reaching for my cup, I turned to Alice with the sincerest smile I could produce. "Well it was great seeing, if I have time I'll come in and check out your store."

I turned to leave as quickly as I could, but I wasn't fast enough. The pixie was walking quickly next to me keeping pace. "Well Bella, I'm so glad that I ran into you, a group of us are getting together tonight and it would be incredible if you could come and join us, I know Rose would love to see you."

"I don't know Alice, I have a lot on my plate right now, I have to be in court the rest of the day and then there are briefs that I need to write tonight…" I was quickly interrupted.

"But this is a onetime deal; we haven't had the group together in ages, at least not all of us."

I allowed the guilt of my quick departure, from Forks; wash over as I looked at my one time best friend. "Alright Alice you win… as usual," I said with a smirk on my lips. "What time should I be there?"

Alice started bouncing up and down like she just won the jackpot. "Oh Bella this is going to be so great, just you wait and see," Alice said in a squeaking voice that I didn't even think was possible. "We are all meeting at nine tonight at Fadó on 1st Avenue, do you know where it is?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Oh that's great! Then we will see you at nine tonight, have a great rest of the day Bella," Alice gave me a quick tight hug before turning at the corner.

The day seemed to go by faster than I had hoped, returning to the office around 4pm I found Angela, my assistant and very dear friend, waiting for me. "Hi, Ang, any messages?"

"Jake called again, he wants to take you to dinner tonight, and I told him you had plans. You know you need to either be open and tell him that you aren't interested or let your guard down and actually try with him. He's a good guy."

"I know Ang, but I just don't feel that spark, I want the spark, I deserve the spark," I said in frustration. "Besides, I do have plans tonight… I'm going out with a group of friends." Angela's eyes widened in surprised.

"What friends Bella? I've known since you graduated from college, I've rarely ever heard of you talk about friends."

"Ouch Ang, you make it sound like I'm a leper of some kind." I said with a smile on my face. "They're just a group of people I went to high school with, nothing to get too worked up over."

"Wait high school, like Edwa…" raising my hand quickly

"Oh no, don't even say his name. He will not be there tonight, it's part of my past and I want to move on from it, seeing him or hearing his name would just bring it all back up again."

"Okay fine, I won't utter his name, but promise me that you'll go out tonight, let your hair down and just be yourself. No more pretending to be this uptight bitch that you really aren't. Show those 'friends' who you've become and that you aren't that girl anymore."

"Ang, I swear sometimes I don't know if I should hug you or fire you…. but then I remember I'd be lost without you." I said smiling.

"Yeah I know… I totally ROCK!" Angela smiled and then turned and left the office to leave me to my own devices. I looked at my monitor, it was just after 4:30 I debated leaving work early, but I quickly pushed that though aside and decided to just dive head first into the briefs for James Delcore's upcoming divorce from his wife, Victoria.

The next time I looked at my monitor it was almost 7:00 I knew it would be about a ten minute walk from my condo to the bar, so I decided to call it a day. I shut down my computer and packed a few things away that I can work on over the weekend.

As I shut off the light I found myself taking a deep breath and began telling myself that I could do this. I could face my past and hopefully, finally be able to move forward once and for all.

I walked into my apartment and went straight over to my iHome, if I was going to go out I was going to be the Bella they don't know anymore I was going to need the right song to get in the mood. I quickly scrolled to an oldie but a classic… Soon the velvety voice of Amy Lee was filling the room.

With a jump in my step and smirk on my lips I walked to my closet with a purpose. If there was any chance that he was going to be there then I was going to show him and everyone there that I was a new woman, I am confident and beautiful I am not the same little girl they once knew.

I pulled out my favorite pair of distressed skinny jeans and my black asymmetrical top. I laid them out on the bed and went to the dresser and pulled out my power panties and matching black strapless bra. As I walked to bathroom I couldn't help letting the words of the song roll over me.

do you remember me
lost for so long
will you be on the other side
or will you forget me
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
am I too lost to be saved
am I too lost?

I let the water run down my shoulders and let it wash away the bad memories I closed my eyes and saw his jade colored green eyes looking at me when he told me loved me. I shook my head and washed away the memory with the shampoo.

After I was all dried off and fully dressed I took one last look at myself in the mirror smiled at my subtle makeup.

"It was a dozen years ago, you are not the same woman, you are stronger….and damn it people like you," I laughed at the memory of staying up late with Alice and Rose watching the Stuart Smiley skit.

I started towards Fadó and enjoying the early summer night and the fact that tomorrow was Saturday and I had nothing I needed to do, I was looking forward to my normal Saturday ritual of visiting the local bookstore to give in to my secret obsession of romance novels.

I approached the bar and did one last affirmation to myself. It's just drinks, what's the worst that could happen? If you are uncomfortable you get up and leave…. But dammit knock 'em dead before you bolt.

I opened the door and walked inside, thinking it would take me a minute to find Alice and the group but wasn't that surprised once I heard Emmett's booming laughter carrying throughout the whole building. I followed the laughter and found myself smiling at how much I did miss the big brut that was Emmett.

Alice must have seen me because she jumped up from the table and ran over. "Bella! You made it! I'm so happy to see you. Oh my god you look amazing! Where did you get those shoes? Very fuck me hot!"

I couldn't stop the laughter that erupting from my chest. "Alice, slow down! It's any wonder you have time to breathe." I felt a different arm on my shoulder and turned to look at Rose who still looked as amazing and she always has, tall, blonde and basically perfection. Her electric blue eyes were glazed over with sheen of tears.

"Oh, Bella." Rose stammered out.

"Oh no, not you, you are the one I'm hoping won't be like this," I hugged my old friend and was hit with the same guilt I had when I saw Alice earlier in the day.

Before I had a chance to ask Rose what was new I was enveloped in a hug so tight and was being lifted off the ground.

"Oh, Jelly Belly, I've missed you!" Emmett boomed. Once I was back on the ground and able to catch my breath.

"I missed you too Emmett," I said with sincerity I didn't realize I still had in me.

I turned and was looking at a broad and strong chest, when I looked up she was face to face with the same electric blue eyes that matched Rose's.

"Jasper! How is it you got better looking?"

"It's all Alice, you should know that." I turned to my little pixie friend and hugged her again.

"Thank you so much for asking me to come out tonight." Alice pulled away and opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted by a cough from behind me. I turned around all I saw was jade green eyes.

EPOV

Fuck me that was all I could think from the moment I saw Bella walk into the Fadó. I was speechless. She was always beautiful and always left me fumbling with words but now there were no words.

I watched her make her rounds and give hugs and smiling and looking like the same Bella she was all those years ago, but she wasn't the same Bella. It seemed like yesterday, but it was so long ago. Twelve years ago that I walked away. Twelve years ago that I thought I did the right thing. I saw her talking to Alice and coughed to get her attention. I hoped when she turned and saw me that she would smile and see the regret in my eyes and know what I've known since that night, she was it for me and I fucked up.

I watched her move her hair off her bare shoulder and I caught my breath as I remember kissing that shoulder and holding her close and the noises that I brought from deep within her. I let my breath out.

"Hi Bella."

Her eyes got cold, her lips thinned out. "Hi Edward, how are you?" she said in a quick tone.

"Good… good you look great." I let out with a bit of a squeak in my voice.

"Thanks so do you," and then she turned and everything I wanted to say yet I couldn't came flooding back to my mind.

I turned and gave Emmett and Jasper half hearted smile and I went back to the table and took a long hard swig of my Guinness.

"Give it time," Jasper said with a small smile. I know he meant well and I hope he was right, but maybe just maybe he was wrong and too much time had passed. Could she ever forgive me? I know I wouldn't if the roles were reversed. I watched Bella as she laughed and talked with Alice and Rose and I couldn't stop myself from wondering what if….. Fuck I couldn't do that, that hasn't helped me at all over the years. The girls walked towards the bar and I turned to Emmett and Jasper and spoke in a hushed tone.

"I fucked up…," before I could continue Emmett interrupted me.

"Yeah you did, but just leave her alone man, she seems to be doing really great now and you can't just swing in and screw with her again, it's not fair to her."

"I don't want to screw with her again, I just want her to forgive me and I want her to know the truth."

"Fuck, Edward, if this is just about clearing you conscious then let it go, we don't know how she really handled everything because she was gone the next morning," Jasper said I could see his eyes get hard.

I looked up and saw Bella taking a pull from a Boddingtons beer, which was surprising since she was never much of a drinker. I guess more than her appearance has changed over the years. For a moment our eyes met and I could see the same sparkle in her eyes that I saw all those years ago. I felt something tugging at my chest and I felt it for the first time in years, hope, and I smiled because I would make this right with her. I wanted to be the reason she was smiling.

BPOV

I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to hit him. But I didn't, he wasn't going to see that he got to me. Couldn't God just give me one little bit of karma ass kicking, let him get a beer gut or lose his hair, something ANYTHING! I could see the markings on his arms peaking out underneath the sleeves of his black Henley shirt. I watched him run his hand through his hair and almost caught myself reaching out to run my own hands through his hair.

I listened to Alice talk about her boutique and Rose talk about the auto shop that she and Emmett owned. I heard about Rose's three year old little boy who had Emmett's hard hair and Rose's bright blue eyes. I heard memories that they had made without me, memories that I should have been a part of, but I wasn't. I let what happened control me for too long. I wasn't going to let it continue.

Once we reached the bar, I quickly ordered a Boddingtons and turned to the girls.

"Listen I have to say this and get it off my chest."

"No, Bella, you don't we were pissed and hurt at first, but after we talked about it we completely understood," Rose said.

"I need to get this out there for me, I never meant to hurt you guys, but I couldn't stay in Forks anymore, I couldn't see them. It may not have been the best answer for the problem, but I was so broken after that night. I wasn't thinking properly all I could think was to get as far away as possible and quickly. It was wrong of me not want to give you guys the opportunity to try and talk me into staying. It just hurt too much," I said with a sad smile.

Alice looked at me. "The past doesn't matter anymore, what matters now is that we found you again and damn it you put us through that bullshit again I will personally kick your ass myself."

I couldn't help but smile; I threw my arms around both of them and smiled. "Fuck I missed you guys."

"Holy shit, did sweet innocent little Bella just drop the F-Bomb. Well I'll be damned," Rose said in mock horror.

I decided at that moment, that Alice was right, I found them again, and I wasn't going to let him get to me or run me out of town again. I could be friends with them; I could do that and keep my distance from Edward.

We walked back to the table and I watched the girls sit down next to their husbands that left only one seat open. FUCK MY LIFE!, right next to Edward. I pulled the chair out and slightly away from Edward. I didn't want him to get the idea that we could be buddy-buddy again.

"So Belly, what do you do these days?" Emmett asked using that god awful nickname he gave me.

"Uh, I'm a lawyer at Volturi Associates," I said meekly.

"Oh yeah? What do you specialize in? Edward and I need some papers drawn up for the shop," Jasper said with a smile.

"I'm a divorce attorney, I don't handle corporations or business ventures," with my eyes quickly glances in Edward's direction.

The conversations went smoothly for most of the night, Edward barely spoke and only when asked a direct question. He was pretty focused on tearing apart his napkin. Before I knew it, it was 2am and they were closing up for the night. I stood to walk back to my apartment and I stumbled a bit. I felt a hand on my elbow and a felt his breath on my ear,

"I guess some things never do change, do they Bella?" I pulled back and looked into Edward's eyes confused. Did he really think… no he couldn't…. he wouldn't….

Picking up my purse, I gave everyone a hug, well not everyone, and made promises of calling over the weekend and get together again.

I started heading towards my apartment when I looked over my shoulder, I saw him following me.

"What the fuck Edward, what are you doing?" I said in my bitchiest tone I could muster with four beers in me.

" Looks like we are headed the same direction home." his eyes bore into mine.

"Fine just don't talk to me." Because if you do then I might want to kiss you and forget why I'm supposed to hate you.

"As you wish," he said with a smirk.

"Don't pull that shit on me, it won't work." Yes it will.

"Just so you know Bella, we'll have to talk sometime, not tonight because we both need to be sober, but we need to put everything on the table. If we're going to continue to be put together like this I don't want the evil eye every time you see me."

"Evil eye?" I screamed. "Are you fucking kidding me? I tried back there, I was talking. You just sat there brooding like a wounded puppy, sorry if I don't feel uncomfortable around you, sorry if you obviously have left over things to deal with, but I don't. It was a long time ago I've moved on…. I've gotten over it; you and I both know that our feelings were obviously very different for each other back then."

With his jaw clenched he looked me. "Are you done?" I just nodded and turned and started walking. "I lied Bella." I stopped dead in my tracks.

Without turning and facing him I said in a low voice, "No, you don't get to do this, not now not EVER!" I started walking again increasing my pace. I needed to get away from him and I needed to be alone now. I couldn't let him see me cry.

"I may not get to do it now or ever in your eyes, but I want, no I need you to know the truth. I need you to know the whole story." He grabbed my arm and spun me so I faced him; my tears were betraying me now.

"So you moved on huh?" he asked as he wiped the tears from my cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.

"Edward, I can't do this, I don't want to do this. Just let me go." I pleaded.

"Fine for tonight, but Bella I promise you that we will talk about this… God I missed you." Then his lips closed over mine. It started out slow and I didn't know what to do, so I let my heart take over, I wrapped my arms around his neck and I kissed him back, our lips caressing each other. I felt his tongue on my bottom lip and my head got back in control, I pulled my arms away and pulled back.

"I can't do this Edward, not again." I turned and walked towards my building. My fingers were running over my lips in shock; I could still feel his lips on mine and that after all this time it seemed that his lips still fit perfectly and he brought things out of me that I thought had been long time dead and dormant.

I turned at my door and looked in his direction he was still standing there under the street lamp. He lifted his hand offered a small wave. I couldn't stop the small smile that pulled from my lips. Maybe there is truth in forgiveness

I hope you liked it, please feel free to hit that little button at the bottom and let me know if you liked it or hated it.

Also, I am looking for a full-time Beta so if you are interested let me know.

Thx!