here is a song/show fic hope y'all enjoy my apologies to for the mistakes if there are any ( i did proofread this but uploading was a chore sorries) and to the Reid fans i just felt Hotch had a better idea of what she was dealing with than he did but anyways. might make this into a series and with that being said ...

ON WITH THE SHOW :)

This time, don't need another perfect lie

Don't care if critics ever jump in line

I'm gonna give all my secrets away

So tell me what you want to hear

Something that will light those ears

Sick of all the insincere

So I'm gonna give all my secrets away

At this point she was done; she had nothing left in her was Askari right was she going to let him take over her life. It was a nightmare that was on repeat as she closed the file she thought about Spencer that sweet man she considers a brother. He thought he knew what she was going through but it wasn't the same there was only one other person that really knew what was going on, what she was feeling. The question in her mind was if he knew than they all knew, and she didn't want that. She wanted to fight this battle by herself but she didn't know how. She had to start somewhere and screaming at the ghost of man that had killed her and Will's child, Henry's sibling was not it. As she said goodnight to the guard her phone beeped, it was the only other person who could help her fight her demons if she would let him. She dried her eyes and looked at the text. She replied sent a quick text to Will and the babysitter, when she got to his apartment she couldn't believe it. He was waiting for her door, open drink in hand she sits on his couch tear starting again.

"What is going on hotch?" she asked putting her mask back in place.

"You tell me JJ you disappear then when you do come out you've been crying, I need to know if you are ok." He said bluntly

She scoffs "are you asking as my boss or my lover Aaron, because I'm not ok I thought I was but I'm not and I don't know what to do."

He sat next to her put his hand on her knee "I know JJ, I know I am asking as your boyfriend ok? Hotchner is not here its just Jenn and Aaron. Reid is also not here you can't lie to me like you can to him, i know a little more of what you are goingthroughthan he does."

"I'm sorry i know you do but, I can't do this anymore." She got up and headed to the door.

"Do what? JJ I love you I can help you we can get through this please." He pleaded with her but the determination in her eyes was too much for him to handle.

"When you came for me I thought that I would be able to tell Will the truth that's what I meant when I said no more lies, that it would be all over and we could move on but I don't know how." She looked at him and noticed the pain the eyes she has come to find solace in.

"You know why I still live here; why my son lives here with me instead of with Jessica cause a certain someone told me it does get better. I know what you are going through; come on follow me." He extended his hand she stared at it for a second and then took instantly she felt her nerves calm he stopped in his office.

"Sit"he told her pulling out his chair for her to sit in he walked over to the closet and pulled out a box.

"Aaron I…." she trailed off as he pulled the lid off and opened the file he put in front of her.

" For the first months after we sent Jack and Haley to P.C. I stared at these files, anything that I could to justify the reason that they were not here with me. I couldn't find any then when she died I did the same that you are doing right now but, you saw right through me just like I am doing with you right now." He admitted, " I had choice to make loose what I did have left or try to move on with what I have now you do too."

They sat there for what seemed like hours which actually talking, crying, and just holding each other as this was probably going to be the last they will be in each other's arms. As he got up she follow him to the door"I gave you my secrets JJ now its time to give someone yours me or Will I know he loves you but, so do I and I shouldn't so the choice is yours whatever you choose don't worry I'm gonna be ok, so follow what JJ wants not what world wants." Before she could do anything he put one last kiss to her lips then her forehead as a goodbye. Walking away had been the hardest thing to do but she knew what she had to do now and headed home to her son and husband leaving a broken hearted man who could and would have gave her everything.

When she got home Will was sitting at the bar in the kitchen eating a bowl of ice cream she walked over to him"Will we need to talk."