Author's Note: Hey there, Sports Fans! Ikr, I totally disappeared right off the map *blushes* To tell you the truth: my newfound love for K-pop music landed me a teaching job in Yongin, South Korea :O So I've been busy adjusting to life in the countryside here for a couple of weeks. But I had a supremely good yesterday and got totally inspired to write a Creddie oneshot for old times' sake. I got inspired by a previous Creddie fic written by fallingfurther (you guys should check it out). The title was inspired by a K-pop song called 'Wedding Dress' by Taeyang of Big Bang. Hope you guys like this :DDD
Freddie Benson was having a very good dream.
In it, he was at least 6 feet tall, ripped like the Fantastic Bulk from the Dingo Channel and richer than Fort Knox.
But best of all, the woman of his dreams had her pale arm hooked through his as they walked together through the shallow waters of a picturesque beach in Getaria, Spain, talking animatedly, their eyes locked on each other.
"Tell me how much you love me, Freddie…" Carly crooned, her lips curving into a sensuous smile.
"Only as much as Shah Jahan loved the Taj Mahal," Freddie affirmed, entwining his and Carly's fingers together as they walked along.
"That's the palace in India dedicated to that dead guy, right?"
"The dead guy's third wife who died in childbirth, actually."
"Right, now I remember. It's such a romantic story," Carly murmured in an intimate voice.
"It sure is," Freddie agreed, secretly pleased when his belladonna went so far as to lean her dainty head against his broad shoulder.
"If you were an architect, would you ever build me a monument, Freddie?" Carly questioned in that adorably childish way of hers, looking up at Freddie momentarily.
Freddie stopped dead in his tracks, yanking Carly accidentally right along with him in the process. But a few seconds later, Carly's breath hitched in her throat when Freddie disentangled their entwined fingers and cupped her cheeks instead, looking at her with emblazoned devotion.
"If I could, I would build a whole city just for you, Carly. Then everyone would know just how much I love you." Freddie declared without hesitation in a voice wrought with unsuppressed emotion.
Carly got back just enough of her breath as her eyes dragged over Freddie's form, her hands moving to hold on steadfastly to his wrists.
"I'm so happy to hear you say that. Mama likes to know she's worth more than a half-eaten Fat Cake licked by a hobo." Carly returned, a coy smirk forming on her lovely face.
"Que?" Freddie questioned in alarm, startled that Carly's luscious locks of brown hair were rapidly changing to a mane of unruly golden hair in front of his eyes.
"Uh, what's happening to your face?"
By this point, Carly's chest had grown bigger to that of an inflatable doll, her dainty stilettos had changed to grimy high-top sneakers and worst of all, her angular face had widened of its own accord to haughty cheekbones and crystal blue eyes instead of chocolate brown.
She had turned into –
"Sam?!" Freddie screamed in horror, backing away from his lady love.
Or at least, what used to be his lady love.
"That's right, Fredda-douche," Sam confirmed with a devilish smile. "Now get your useless tech-nerd butt out of bed. Because this wedding will happen with or without you!"
"No, please don't let me marry Sam. I'm a good person…" Freddie moaned, tossing and turning violently in his sleep.
Sam stood over his bed with her hands on her hips, shaking her head incessantly and wondering for the umpteenth time why Spencer had been evil enough to make her come within five feet of Fredda-douche's bachelor pad.
"Dammit, Fredda-douche, would you come on already?! Don't make Mama drag you out of bed by your ugly tech-feet!" the diabolical blonde warned of the room at large.
When Freddie continued thrashing about in bed with no sign of actually waking up, Sam decided to kick it up a notch.
"Mama warned him," Sam commented drolly to herself.
Then she picked up her trusty baseball bat personally autographed by none other than by 'Big Guns' (the batsman with the most home-runs to date for the Seattle Sasquatches).
Big Guns' Bat was her very own good luck charm.
She'd never even gotten so much as a speeding ticket any time she carried it with her.
And her lucky horse shoe wasn't about to strike out any time soon when she let a rip and hit Freddie square in the stomach to wake him.
That effectively woke Freddie Benson up from a deep slumber and into a world of pain as he clutched at his rapidly bruising belly in agony.
"Ow-what-the-f-ow!"
With that, Freddie tumbled out of bed and unceremoniously onto the hardwood floor below, rolling around in obvious pain.
"Mornin', Slugger." Sam greeted with nonchalance, clutching her trusty bat close to her side.
"Why?!" Freddie moaned hoarsely, his face turning purple with each passing second.
"It was either that or flashing you out of La La Land. And I'll be damned before I let a Tech-Nerd get front row seats to the state of 'Twintucky'." Sam explained without mincing her words in the least.
"I really wish you would stop calling your breasts by the name of a made-up American state," Freddie quipped dryly, picking himself up from the floor and running a hand through his dishevelled hair.
"Quit your belly-achin' and get dressed, Fredda-lumps. Or have you forgotten we still have to drive a whole hour to get to Tacoma to make it in time for the wedding?" Sam demanded in an impatient.
The mention of 'wedding' was enough to make Freddie momentarily forget his sleepy stupor and get up hastily from the floor in an attempt to climb back into the bed with the objective of sinking his head as deep into his pillow as it could go.
"Freddie, for the love of Chizz-"
"You can't make me. I'd rather let you swing on me with that stupid bat of yours again!"
"First of all, if you call Big Guns' autographed bat 'stupid', then you'll be riding an atomic wedgie till Christmas! And second of all, quit being such an emo loser! You knew this day was coming, man the chizz up!" Sam barked unsympathetically.
Freddie glared at Sam pointedly before hopping off his bed and stomping to his bathroom, slamming the door savagely behind him.
He knew he was being childish, but so was Sam.
What 23-year old college graduate still threatened people with baseball bats and atomic wedgies?
But as much as he was loathe to admit it, Freddie knew deep down that Sam was right, at least about one of the above ludicrous statements she'd made.
He hardly thought of himself as being some kind of 'emo loser', but he had known for a while now that Carly was marrying someone else.
That's right, it was the day Freddie had dreaded for most of his adolescent life: the day that Carly Shay, the quintessential girl-next-door and the love of his life would finally date one of her douchey frat-house boyfriends long enough to actually consider tying the knot.
Except for the fact that Carly wasn't married a douche-bag at all.
Au contraire, Carly had finally gotten serious and settled down with none other than iCarly's former (and still best ever to date) intern, Brad.
That's right – Carly picked Brad.
Till this day, Freddie still had no idea how that had happened. Apart from iCarly back in the day, Brad and Carly had barely hung out alone during high school much less gotten close enough to start making out.
And after that 'lock in' episode when Sam had jumped him out of nowhere and started playing 'Tonsil Tennis' with his mouth, Freddie had honestly thought there might be something between his psychotic ex-girlfriend and the swarthy iCarly intern.
But just like every other kooky experience that ever happened to him, this one took him completely by surprise in the worst way possible.
And yet, Freddie couldn't bring himself to hate Brad for winning Carly's heart.
It was downright impossible because the guy was just so damn nice all the time! Not to mention coming from a decent family who adored Carly (why couldn't his nutty mom ever let him be happy?!) having a great job, and being a great friend to Freddie over the years, even when they'd all lost touch with each other for the most part during college.
That had been because Freddie had accepted a great scholarship to go to Columbia University in New York State straight after graduation for a degree in Mechanical Engineering. After Colonel Shay's fleet was deployed in Italy after high school, Carly ended up studying on and off at the London School of Economics for four years while pursuing her dream of being a news anchorwoman.
Sam had been the only one of the four of them to stay behind by going to Washington State and actually graduating with a college degree she didn't get her mom's latest boyfriend, Lyin' Lionel, to forge.
Well, Gibby had stayed in Washington State too, but not to go to college.
No, Gibby decided it would be more prudent to start his very own business than getting an education – selling tin-foil shorts over the internet.
He made a total profit of $4 and a loss of $100 on that particular entrepreneurial venture.
But that's another story.
And while Freddie had been slaving away at college and wilfully pretending that he was doing it to ultimately win Carly over, Brad had done a semester-exchange programme with Harvard and the LSE in his second year and ended up re-connecting with Carly and later proposing to her at their end of their final years at college.
Yip, Freddie had missed the boat big time, and he knew it.
After that kiss he and Carly had shared before she and Spencer had moved out of Bushwell Plaza 5 years ago, Freddie had been so sure that fate would intervene with transcendent serendipity and magically bring him and the love of his young life back together so they could be with each other till death did them part.
But while he'd been living in a warped fantasy, Brad had actually taken matters into his own hands where Carly was concerned without waiting for fate to intervene.
To all who saw them together, they looked like the perfect couple.
And yet, Freddie couldn't shake the feeling that while Brad was fantastic on paper as being exactly what Carly needed in a prospective husband, there was still something which lacked in their overall chemistry, some tiny wisp of a smouldering ember that would ignite an entire forest with just one spark.
But it wasn't up to Freddie to psycho-analyse Carly's prospective happiness.
As far as he was concerned, he'd done more than enough with making his feelings as clear as water last night at the rehearsal dinner…
"Would you come on, Fred-dork! The traffic's gonna be insane and we still have to pick up that idiot Gibby! And just maybe his senile grandfather won't try to bum a ride too and demand we stop somewhere random to buy soup!" Sam bellowed, banging loudly on the bathroom door.
Freddie in turn knocked his fist against the shower wall, letting the warm water rain down on him from all sides, forming silvery droplets on the indentations of his muscular arms.
A shower was supposed to help clear the cobwebs out of his brain caused by the excessive drinking he'd done the night before and take his mind off of Carly.
But instead, all the water did was conjure up images of Carly's angelic face, dimples appearing on her cheeks whenever she smiled like you were her favourite person in the whole wide world.
It just wasn't fair that someone else (even when that someone else was as good and deserving as Brad) got to have that beautiful smile all to himself.
None of this was right.
But there was nothing Freddie could do about it, not anymore at least.
So in a few minutes, he was going to have to leave the soothing shower behind, put on the tuxedo he'd rented for the occasion and force himself to attend Carly and Brad's wedding and pretend that he was happy about it.
Freddie shut off the faucets with a long and drawn-out sigh as Sam continued banging incessantly on the bathroom door.
"Alright, I'm coming out! But don't get mad at me if you end up getting a peek at Freddie Jr. in the process," Freddie couldn't resist blurting out just to get a rise out of Sam.
Just as he predicted, the banging on the bathroom door stopped instantaneously and was soon followed by the sounds of Sam Puckett running to the front door and screaming something about 'waiting in the car'.
For the first time all morning, Freddie found a reason to actually smile genuinely about something.
It took Freddie another 10 minutes to change into his wedding attire, shave (he had inadvertently developed an unhealthy amount of stubble lately), put on after-shave, put on cologne (he still wanted to smell nice for Carly) and then gel his long brown hair into submission.
Then he and Sam swung by Gibby's grandpa's house, where the nearly-blind war veteran was purportedly giving Gibby a last-minute haircut while Guppy provided comic relief during intervals by telling really bad knock-knock jokes before Carly's wedding.
Both Sam and Freddie were actually surprised when Gibby hopped onto the backseat with Freddie, looking thoroughly meticulous and debonair, not to mention still having all of his hair and the rest of his head still perched on top of his neck.
It was a good thing that Gibby ended up talking about a lot of random things during the car-ride, otherwise Sam would've never left Freddie alone long enough to morbidly reflect on Carly and her pending nuptials.
"…so Lucia was all like, 'Gibby, there's no way that tinfoil shorts will ever take off in the market!' And I was like, 'uh…you couldn't be more wrong, Lucia! I may not have marketed my patented tinfoil shorts well enough in 2012 to land me on an episode of that business reality show, 'The Shark Tank', but I think the world is finally ready for clothes made out of foil in 2017'." Gibby went on in-between a mouthful of corn-dog.
"Seriously, Gibby, were you born this stupid or is it something you actually have to work at?" Sam scoffed with disdain with her eyes on the road.
"Be nice, Sam," Freddie sing-songed without needing to have actually overheard any of the conversation which preceded his warning.
Both he and Carly were just so used to telling Sam off during any conversation where she was likely to insult anyone (which was a given), it was practically second-nature.
Thinking about that mutually nurturing paternalism that he and Carly still shared where Sam was concerned brought an unexpected lump to Freddie's throat.
Why did everything have to change so drastically in the blink of an eye?
More than ever, Freddie wished he could go back to a time where the world made sense again and Carly only looked at him with mildly platonic love as opposed to a reality where she no longer felt anything for him anymore.
"Chizz, Freddie, are you gonna start crying like a girl on her period all over my new car seats?" Sam asked scornfully with a side-look glance at iCarly's former tech producer.
"Be nice, Sam," Gibby countered with surprising solidarity. "My brosef is going through a tough time watching the only woman he's ever loved more than his own crazy momma get married to a really nice dude who makes 6 figures designing dope sports cars." He added sympathetically.
"Thanks, Gib. You really do paint quite the mental picture," Freddie quipped.
"I do what I can," Gibby replied kindly, slapping Freddie on the back.
He'd missed his friend's obvious sarcasm altogether.
"For chizz's sake, Freddie! It's bad enough that you're obviously going to ruin Carly's big day just by being there and being yourself on top of it! Do you really have to make things harder for yourself by crying over the 'good old days' when Carly almost loved you?!" Sam asked, only with a little more concern than she'd ever shown before.
"I'm not doing it on purpose, Sam!" Freddie answered heatedly. "I'd give anything not to go, but what am I supposed to do? It's Carly." He pleaded, feeling close to tears as per usual when thinking about 'Carly' and 'marrying someone else' in the same sentence.
"He's right, Sam," Gibby agreed in a sober voice, leaning back in his seat. "Heck, if Carly had given this fully loaded 'Gibb-ay!' a test-drive back in the day, chances are I wouldn't have been able to stay away from her marrying some other guy either. Carly's one of the good ones, the best one actually." He admitted in earnest on the last part.
"Yeah, she is." Freddie concurred, patting Gibby affectionately on the shoulder.
"Fine, we can all agree that Carly is awesome! But, Freddie, you're not seriously gonna agree with Gibby that he actually ever had a shot with Carly back in high school, right?!" Sam rejoined with a look of revulsion on her face.
"There's not enough money in the world to bribe me," Freddie agreed readily.
"Hey, I resent that! Carly wishes she could've hitched a ride on 'The Gib-bay Express' and gotten half the shares in my tinfoil shorts empire." Gibby defended indignantly.
But just by being completely serious about his words made it all the more easier for Freddie and Sam to share an appreciative laugh at his Gibby's words, if only for that one particular time.
"Gibby, you make watching the Dingo Channel for any reason known to man seem less certifiable," Sam chuckled, taking her eyes off the road momentarily to laugh openly at Gibby.
"Sam, watch out for that diary van!" Freddie shrieked in alarm.
Sam just narrowly missed the huge van she'd almost crossed paths with and went back to keeping her glues to the road ahead.
Freddie rolled his eyes and went back to staring dejectedly out of his car window at the view of the illustrious countryside.
He couldn't wait for this infernal day to be over with…
Despite his earlier reservations, Sam miraculously got the three of them to the chapel in time, and without killing themselves or other drivers and pedestrians.
The pews were already beginning to fill up with a host of Carly and Brad's friends and family, each of them talking animatedly in anticipation of the pending nuptials.
But Freddie wasn't ready to join in their jovial conversation, least of all when Spencer ran up to him in a fancy tuxedo as soon as he arrived, asking if he had any spare pliers on him to unclamp the wheels on his car to stop it from getting towed.
This is what happened when you wilfully parked in a loading zone outside the church specifically reserved for vehicles carrying livestock…
So instead, Freddie wandered around aimlessly and well away from more of Sam's scathing retorts or Gibby's random musings.
He barely realised he was walking up a spiralling staircase that opened into a lonely hallway one floor above the church where the stone belfry was located.
Freddie had a mad desire to grab hold of the greasy coil of rope and pull on it to ring the bell, but he decided against it at the last possible second.
The last thing he wanted was to be escorted out of the church just for disturbing Quasimodo's final resting place…
It was when he had reached that just conclusion that a door directly in front of him opened up abruptly and caught him right in the face.
"Freddie, oh my God! I'm so sorry!" a familiarly feminine voice squeaked in horror as Freddie began rubbing his smarting nose.
Was everyone he knew destined to maim him in some form before this day was close to being over?
"It's ok, I'll be fine, Wendy." Freddie replied in a gracious tone.
"My mom's always me telling to open doors slowly. It's just like that one episode of 'Hers And Hers And His-"
"Yeah, I saw it." Freddie interjected as politely as possible, worried that Wendy was going to launch into a synopsis of an entire show that was at the zenith of its popularity in the 80's.
"Of course you have, all of America's seen it at once before on pay-per-view," Wendy apologised, a faint blush creeping onto her cheeks. "Hey, Carly's just behind this door, do you wanna say hi to her?" she asked with sudden determination.
"Aww no, it's ok, I don't wanna-"
"It's cool, I'll just tell her you're here. I know she'll be happy to see you. CARLY!" Wendy screamed right in Freddie's ear.
"Disturb her," Freddie finished off dully, smacking his right ear for any sign of damage due to Wendy's ridiculous screaming.
"WHAT?!" came back Carly's equally loud yell from close proximity.
Even Carly's comically mannish shrieks made Freddie fall more helplessly in love with her.
He silently cursed his stupid broken heart and stupid feelings that no one cared about.
"FREDDIE'S HERE!" Wendy bellowed.
"WHO CARES?!" Sam retorted.
"Cut it out, Sam!" Freddie heard Carly hiss at Sam from behind the door.
Then an uncomfortable silence ensued before Carly finally said, "Send him in, Wendy."
"You can go in," Wendy repeated nonsensically with a big smile on her face.
"I heard, thanks," Freddie quipped, humouring Wendy with a smile of his own before stepping into the room.
It smelt like a forest threw up in the tiny room that was filled with a multitude of chattering bridesmaids and a more composed bride, who wasn't wearing her wedding dress yet, giving Freddie a warm and familiar smile that he knew and loved about her.
But why wasn't she wearing her wedding dress yet?
Freddie wanted to foolishly think that Carly had somehow changed her mind about the wedding, but that would've just been way too good to be true for his non-existent lucky streak over time.
"Hey, Freddie," Carly greeted with all the assurance and composure of someone who hadn't been witness to a very intense and emotional conversation that had taken place between her and Freddie the night before.
"Hey, Carls," Freddie greeted back, albeit far more awkwardly.
"Ladies, can you give me and Freddie a moment alone please?" Carly inquired calmly of the room at large.
Sam rolled her eyes dramatically at this, but began shooing women out of the room as per Carly's instructions.
"Alright, hit the track, everyone! No one wants to stick around for Fred-Ass sucking up to the bride before the wedding," she chirped merrily.
Carly bit down on her bottom lip to keep from laughing at Sam's words while Freddie saved a glacial glare just for the nutty blonde as she exited through the door.
"Sam sure knows how to clear a room," Freddie quipped after a long and pregnant silence.
"She sure does," Carly agreed.
And for the first time in a really long time, Freddie finally noticed that Carly wasn't nearly as poised and self-assured as she often purported to be.
"So…how are you, Freddie? Did you sleep ok?" Carly finally asked with a nervous smile.
"Really great. Sam woke me up with an awesome neck massage," Freddie lied feebly, shuffling awkwardly on the balls of his heels.
"You know I don't buy that for a second," Carly returned with a knowing grin.
"Meh, it was worth a try," Freddie conceded in good grace. "She did however hit me with her Big Guns' bat, so it was kinda like a neck massage," he added on a whim.
His heart soared in his chest when Carly began laughing heartily at his well-timed joke.
He loved making her smile on any level.
Too bad those opportunities were going to be limited in the future now that she was marrying Brad.
Why does life suck so hard all the time?
"God, what are we going to do with Sam?" Carly asked, as if it were really a decision she and Freddie were destined to make together where their kooky friend was concerned.
"Give her up for adoption?" Freddie suggested wryly, which earned him another chuckle from the soon-to-be bride.
"Maybe," Carly agreed lightly. "So, um…about last night, Freddie-"
"Don't. Please."
Freddie wasn't sure why he was stopping Carly from saying what needed to be said in the moment.
Maybe it was simply because he'd heard it all before and hearing it again certainly wouldn't make the pain in his chest go away.
I don't think of you 'that way'.
You deserve to be with someone who loves you for 'you'.
We're just friends.
No, he didn't drive all the way down to Tacoma with Sam and Gibby of all people just to get the famous 'Carly Shay Bard Speech' all over again, even though he'd laid his heart on the line just 24 hours before.
He knew he was a little tipsy from the beer and champagne he'd already drunk. But it had given him the liquid courage he needed to pull aside Carly in a deserted hallway in the fancy hotel where the rehearsal dinner was taking place.
Then it had taken a mere 5 minutes to fumble and splutter over the truth before it reflected back in Carly's brown eyes that were wide with shock.
That was when Brad had interrupted them, right before Carly could say anything to Freddie, looking as handsome and jovial as ever, breaking the spell irrevocably.
Carly's face was uncharacteristically serious after deigning to bring up the events of 'last night' and it only made her more beautiful than ever in Freddie's eyes.
But he was too late as per usual.
Stupid, foolish and useless 'what-ifs'.
"You don't have to say it," Freddie continued with more determination. "I get it, I missed my chance after you kissed me before you went to Italy 5 years ago. I should've gone after you and told you about everything I feel for you then instead of going in the opposite direction to Columbia. I shouldn't have waited till last night to tell you that I love you and I'll never get over you at your reception dinner of all places with your fiancé standing a few paces away from us!"
Carly didn't say anything in response and it made it far easier for Freddie to continue with the one speech he'd never wanted to make if he'd a choice in the matter.
"You never felt what I've always felt for you. It hurts, but I finally accept it now. Brad's a good guy and chizz, any guy would be lucky to marry someone as kind, beautiful, talented and good as you, Carly Shay. Even though I know all this, it doesn't change anything for me. And it'll probably take forever to finally move on from you. But I want you to know that I'll try because I want you to be happy, even if it's not with me. So it's really ok, you don't have to give me 'the speech' anymore. I get it." He concluded with ringing finality, bowing his head just a little.
It burned everywhere in his soul to see a few salty tears wrung from Carly's eyes. She herself didn't know how she'd only shed a few tears during Freddie's speech and not an entire ocean's worth.
They were both putting on a brave front somehow in spite of everything; but as to who they were doing it for, neither one could tell anymore.
"Freddie…" Carly murmured, biting back the rest of her tears threatening to come up her throat and swallow her whole.
"It's ok," Freddie mumbled, plastering on a fake smile that not even George Washington would've bought in the moment. "I'll go…take my seat downstairs."
With a slight nod in Carly's, Freddie turned away bit by bit. But not before saying a few last words as he turned the knob on the door: "I know you're not wearing your wedding dress yet. But…you'll always be beautiful to me."
Then he left and trudged miserably down the spiralling stairs, lost in his own overwhelming grief.
He could've gotten away too if he hadn't bumped hard into Brad, who was coming towards him in the opposite direction.
"Whoa, sorry! Brad, hey!" Freddie greeted in a weirdly high-pitched tone.
A guilty squirm shot through his belly at the fact that he'd been declaring his love yet again to Brad's fiancée just minutes before the happy soon-to-be groom had interrupted yet again.
"Hey, buddy!" Brad greeted with enthusiasm before enveloping Freddie in an affectionate side-hug. "Where did you just come from now?" he asked with a tinge of suspicion.
"Oh, uh…the bridal chambers. I just, uh…wanted to give Carly my…congratulations on her happy day." Freddie answered with a half-truth, his palms beginning to sweat like crazy.
Upon closer inspection, Freddie realised that for the happiest day of Brad's life, the man of the hour looked oddly exhausted with uncharacteristically red rims around his eyes.
Freddie idly wondered if the soon-to-be groom had gotten any sleep at all last night.
"Oh, I should've guessed. You're a really good guy, Freddie." Brad declared in more of his normal voice, flashing a small smile at Freddie.
"Thanks," Freddie responded, unable to say anything else.
He gave Brad a quick nod and was just about to depart when the soon-to-be groom's words threw him completely off balance: "I know you still love Carly. And I know you told her last night."
Freddie turned back around again, his eyes as wide as saucers, clutching feebly at his chest in case his heart might've accidentally fallen out from Brad's startling words.
"Y-y-you do?" Freddie asked weakly, secretly hoping Brad wouldn't punch him for trying to hone in on his woman.
"Yeah, I do. Carly told me." Brad explained.
He thrust his hands deep into his jacket pockets and stepped alarmingly closer to Freddie, who tried his best not to take a step backwards or run away period.
"Oh," was all that Freddie could answer for the time-being.
"Look, Freddie, I think you should know that-"
"It's ok, Brad!" Freddie cut him off with vehemence. "You don't have to say it, really. Yes, I told Carly I love her, but I see that she's happy and it's because of you. As much as I hate the idea of her being with anyone else but me, I could never hate her being with you. You're good for her. Just….promise me that…you'll always treat her right no matter what."
And before Brad could say anything more or before Freddie himself could break down crying like a little girl, he made a hasty retreat.
But his thudding heart and ringing ears refused to lead him back to the church where the rest of the guests were already seated.
He couldn't stay, he knew it now.
He may not be standing in the way of Carly and Brad's future happiness, but he knew now that he couldn't watch it unfold in front of his eyes.
So he did the only thing he could think of in the moment: retrieve the spare set of Sam's car keys from his pocket and jack her ride.
He needed a drink.
As luck would have it (or someone upstairs had a weird sense of humour), Freddie found himself at a local college bar in Tacoma.
Considering that it was almost time for brunch on a Saturday morning, Freddie was still amazed that there were so many college students already crowded in front of the bartender, waiting for their tankards to be re-filled with $5 beer.
It reminded Freddie a little of his days back at Columbia, when he'd drunken many a night away just to forget about Carly.
He couldn't forget her then and he certainly couldn't now.
But he was most definitely going to give it the old 'college try' for once.
And even better was the fact that he didn't end up drinking alone as formerly predicted when Gibby of all people waltzed into the college bar a good 20 minutes later.
Apparently, the security guards at the wedding had refused to let him back into the church after he went to Sam's car again to retrieve his lucky harmonica just because he looked like the kid who had broken the speed limit from skateboarding down a steep hill in Yerba.
Ridiculous reason or not, Freddie was secretly glad to have his friend's unwavering support and loyal.
"To getting skunk drunk and swearing off love forever!" Freddie declared with his drink held high in the air.
"To enterprising skateboarders and other vagabonds!" Gibby countered.
Then the two friends clinked their tankards of beer together and drank deeply.
It tasted worse than anything that Sam had ever drunken out of her shoe, but it would have to do for Freddie for the time being.
"I'm done with love, Gibby. You and I should go into business together and expand your tinfoil shorts empire!" Freddie exclaimed with gusto.
Meh, he would just plead 'insane hangover' when all of this was over anyway.
"Like two peas in an idiot pod," Sam snorted with disdain at Gibby and Freddie from alarmingly close by.
Sure enough, Freddie turned around sharply and saw Sam of all people standing in front of the bar, smirking maliciously back at him.
"I'm not in the mood, Sam. You can torture me all you want starting tomorrow. But I'm off the clock today," Freddie quipped in warning before turning back to his drink.
"Cute, but I'll pass. Besides, I think there's someone else who'd much rather torture you today instead of me." Sam replied in an enigmatic tone.
"O-k…" Freddie rattled off in a 'derp' tone, ignoring Sam completely and gulping down more beer.
"Hey, Freddie."
The man of the hour nearly dropped his glass tankard onto the bar floor when he heard the one voice he'd never thought he'd hear so soon again, and in a bar of all places.
Freddie turned around on his bar stool so quickly he nearly fell over as he came to stand haphazardly in front of the love of his life.
"Carly?" he questioned in disbelief.
"Surprise!" Carly chirped without any real conviction.
"W-w-what are you – h-how did you-"
"Fredda-chump wants to know what you're doing here, Carly." Sam supplied.
"Thanks, Sam, I caught that." Carly returned with an exasperated smile on her face.
"Come on, Gibson. Let's give these emo douche-bags some privacy."
"Aww, but I still wanted a bottle of yoo-hoo!"
"Just get over here!"
Gibby stopped pouting and immediately followed closely behind Sam without any further protests.
Which just made things loads more awkward for Freddie and Carly, who couldn't seem to make proper eye contact without blushing profusely.
"What are you doing here, Carly?" Freddie finally managed to ask.
"I, uh…came…to see you." Carly answered with a tremor in her voice.
"Why?" Freddie couldn't resist asking in spite of himself.
"Because…I'm sort of in love with you," Carly replied in a halting manner.
That statement alone had the ability to make Freddie even more inebriated than ever.
"Que?"
"Everything you said to me last night and even today just hit me really hard. I know we had that amazing kiss before Italy and then we basically lost touch for 5 years. And I know it's incredibly frustrating of me to only figure out now how much I'd be giving up on if I married Brad instead of you, but I just can't help myself. I love you, Freddie Benson. I have for a really long time. I just didn't see it until you were staring through your peep-hole at me one last time. Figuratively speaking, of course," Carly concluded with nervous laughter.
Freddie's brain was effectively spinning on its own orbit now.
"I don't get it, you didn't say anything before. And you're getting married – oh God, have you already married Brad?!" Freddie yelled in horror on the last part.
"No, Brad and I didn't get married," Carly returned, unable to hold back some laughter at the erroneous conclusion that Freddie had drawn. "Actually, after you told me you still loved me last night, I told Brad that I couldn't marry him." She explained more seriously.
"Again…que?!" Freddie squeaked.
Clearly he should've started drinking sooner in the day…
"We talked all night long and did lots of crying; well…I did lots of crying. We both came to the church this morning, but only because we were going to tell the guests together. I couldn't stand the idea of him having to do it alone." Carly stated, choking back overwhelming tears.
"I can't believe it," Freddie gasped in awe. "You left him because of me?" he questioned of Carly.
It seemed like an insanely long time before Carly began nodding mutely.
"I had to. I love Brad, but I realised I wasn't in love with him. I wanted something simple and stable when we first got together, as opposed to all of my impulsive infatuations from high school with the wrong guys. I guess it just took me a really long time to realise you were the right guy all along. I know my timing sucks and you'd have every right to refuse me. But…is there any chance that you'd still…have me after all this time?" Carly asked.
Freddie didn't answer for a long while and Carly felt sure that it was definitely over between them, as friends and definitely as more.
But then he surprised her and literally knocked her off her feet when he moved forward with purpose and put his arms around her, kissing her like there was no tomorrow.
Carly was caught off guard at first, but finally succumbed and wrapped her hands possessively around Freddie's neck, grinning into every kiss they emitted and exchanged, the seedy college bar scene disappearing altogether from all around them.
But eventually, Carly felt compelled to stop kissing Freddie due to lack of oxygen and a far more compelling reason.
"Urgh, you taste like beave-coon," she muttered with a grimace.
Freddie burst out laughing at Carly's random words and self-consciously popped a breath mint into his mouth.
"Sorry," he mumbled apologetically.
His heart leapt in his throat when Carly reached forward and cupped his cheek with bruising tenderness.
"That's ok. You're my 'beavecoon breath'." She whispered with delicate intimacy, a radiant smile forming on her face.
"That's the weirdest thing you've ever said to me."
"No it isn't."
"Meh, you're right. Is Brad gonna be ok?"
That statement wiped the smile off of Carly's face as her heart sank once more. "I hope so, I never wanted to hurt him. But you should know that he knows you care about me and he doesn't hate you, Freddie. In fact, I think he wanted to tell you earlier in the church before you disappeared."
Freddie felt a swooping sensation in his chest at those words.
Good old kind and honest Brad had shown him up today on who was the worthier man for Carly.
But he didn't want to turn it into a contest.
So he nodded instead and smiled yet again as he took Carly's hand in his, savouring in the warmth that radiated from her whole being, inside and out.
Fate had given him another chance to make Carly his, and he'd be damned if he wasted another second of it in a dingy college bar that served 'beavecoon breath beer'.
"I know a great place in Seattle that serves the best smoothies you've ever tasted in your life where doughnuts are served on a stick." Freddie began with a knowing smile.
Carly returned his smile and tightened her grip on his hand as they walked out together.
"I thought you'd never ask, Fredward."
Author's Note: Yip, I know. I can't leave my happy endings behind :P Lots of different Western popular culture references here that I flipped on their heads to keep on par with iCarly's warped sense of humour: The Incredible Hulk, Three's Company, the BBC reality show 'The Lion's Den' as well as iCarly references to iBIBF, iPTN and naturally, Gibby's tinfoil shorts ;D Thanks for the love, you guys. Sorry I kept you waiting so long for another story. Have a great day and take care :DDD