A/N I tried writing a hurt/comfort, and I don't think it went the way I wanted it to go, but hey, I tried, and let's hope this get's a few reviews. Happy reading~

When Natalia's brother, Ivan, commits suicide and leaves her and her flu ridden sister alone in the tightest financial bind they've ever been in, she spirals downward quickly, right into the life of prostitution, figuring the money might keep their heads above water for a while. But when extra help is needed, a Gilbert Beilschmidt and his little brother Ludwig comes to live with them with problems of their own. With Natalia working every day of the week, can she realize that Gilbert is trying to work a way into her heart and Ludwig trying to do the same with Katyusha?

8 September

Having the flu was never fun.

Katyusha sneezed, and coughed, and cried over everything. She couldn't get things done because her body hurt so much, and when she couldn't get things done then she couldn't go to work, and when she couldn't go to work then that meant another bill wouldn't be paid on time…or paid at all for that matter.

Katyusha leaned over and plucked a tissue from the box, blowing her nose with it. She sighed as she tossed the soiled tissue in the overflowing trashcan. "Ivan!" She managed to yell through her raspy voice.

Ivan poked his head in the room. "Yes sis?"

"The trashcan is overflowing again." She murmured as she turned over.

"Don't worry, I've got it." He said and bent down to pick up the soiled tissues surrounding the trashcan and placing them with the ones that made it in the trash.

"Sorry that I keep bothering you, I don't mean to. I know you're trying to do work and all."

Ivan grabbed the bag out of the trashcan and tied it up. "It's fine. I don't mind taking care of you sis, it's the least I could do for you." He said with a small smile. "Do you want anything else? Food, drink? More tissues?"

"Um, could you get me some watermelon and more tissues? Oh! And remember Natalya is going to have to be picked up soon, she had to stay after school to make up a test."

Ivan nodded. "I'll remember, and I'll bring your fruit and tissues back in a minute." With that, he left out the room.

A few minutes later, Ivan came back up the stairs a bowl of watermelon and another box of tissues. Placing the tissues back on the box on the nightstand, he gave her the bowl. "Here you go, watermelon in big chunks, just how you like it."

Katyusha smiled weakly, "Thank you little brother." She said as she picked up a piece.

"If that's all you need then I'm going back to work." He said and turned back to the door.

"Remember Natalya." She called out at the last minute.

Ivan smiled. "I will don't worry." He said and made his way out the door.

His smile faded as he made his way down the hallway and quietly slipped in his room. Ivan sat at his desk, picking up the pen and continued to write.

Try not to miss me too much while I'm gone. None of this is your fault, I promise, I still love you, the both of you, so very much...

Natalya sat on the stairs that lead up to the school…which let out two hours ago. 'If Katyusha would just let me get me license then none of this would be happening.' She thought as she crossed her legs and placed her head in her hands.

"Okay, you have been sitting here ever since school let out, I just got out of detention and you're still here."

Natalya looked up. A tall boy with silver hair and crimson eyes looked down at her.

She raised an eyebrow. "And what, may I ask is your point?"

"Well I was wondering if you needed a ride home."

Natalya narrowed her eyes. "I don't even know you. I mean I see you around but I don't know your name."

"Gilbert, Gilbert Beilschmidt."

"And you're a..?"

"Senior." He said almost proudly.

"Oh no wonder. I've been you around a lot, I'm a Junior. I'm Natalya Arlovskaya."

"Well Natalya Arlovskaya, would you like me to take you home?"

"No thanks, my brother should be here soon. Unless..they really did forget about me." She said, mumbling the last part.

"Aw, come on, I could use some time to kill. Besides, my dad won't really allow me to live once he finds out that I got detention again."

"Again? We've only been in school for a month."

"I know. Doesn't stop these teachers though. So what do you say? You want me to take you home?"

She thought about it for a moment, she was getting tired of sitting on the hard concrete ground, and she just tired in general. Standing up, she said, "Alright, take me home. Straight home."

Gilbert grinned. "Of course, come on." He said grabbing her hand to lead her to the beat up car in the student parking lot.

Ivan sighed as he stood up, ordering the papers together and then placing them back down on the desk.

"Ivan, did you go and get Nat? I haven't seen her yet." Katyusha called from her room.

His head snapped up. "Oh God." He whispered to himself. He ran down the stairs, grabbed the keys, and pulled the door open only to find Natalya right at the door.

"Nata, how did you—"

"Don't 'Nata' me," she snapped. "Where were you?"

Ivan sighed as he turned to toss the keys on the table. "I'm sorry, I was busy and I just forgot."

Natalya came inside and slammed the door closed. "You forgot? How the hell could you forget about your little sister?"

"It's easy to forget, okay Nata? Look I'm trying as hard as I can—"

"Well try harder because you're obviously not trying hard enough!" She screamed.

"Natalya!" Katyusha yelled as she made her way down the stairs. "Do not talk to your brother that way! Apologize right now!" She reprimanded.

"Oh please! Like I would ever apologize to this useless excuse of a brother—!"

Katyusha grimaced as she walked over to Natalya. "I've had it with you and your disrespectful mouth!" She said and grabbed her arm and shoved her towards the stairs. "You get your tail upstairs and don't even think about coming out until I'm either ready to see you or when you can apologize." She spat.

Natalya quickly made it up the stairs, still murmuring things under her breath.

Katyusha looked back over to her brother, a sad smile on her face. "You know she didn't mean that right? It's the natual teenage thing to be rebellious and disrespectful. I swear one of these days she's going to learn, and it is going to be the hardest way possible." Katyusha ranted before sighing.

Ivan shook his head. "I know about it just as well as you. It's not her fault. I'm going out for a little, try not to miss me alright?" He said and leaned over to kiss both of her cheeks. Without another word he grabbed the keys again, and made his way out the door, never looking back.

Katyusha sighed as she watched the door close. "Take care of yourself." She spoke to no one and made her way back up stairs.

The great thing about working at an office was the fact that it was a high building, as in, 58 stories high building.

"Good evening Mr. Braginski, what are you doing here so late in the office?" The receptionist asked as she watched him go towards the elevator.

Ivan didn't say anything, just waited for the elevator, and stepped inside, pressing the 58th button.

As the elevator slowly made its way higher and higher off the ground Ivan sat and waited.

Well try hard because you're obviously not trying hard enough!

Of course he wasn't trying hard enough. What made him think he was? He never tried hard enough, his best was never good enough. Honestly, he should have told his sister thank you for the reminder before he left.

The elevator dinged and opened its doors to the rooftop. Ivan stepped out observing the sun's slow descent. The least he could do is treat himself to one last sunset. He sat near the ledge, smiling to himself. Sunsets for one of the very few most beautiful things he thought were in this world. Sunflowers, and his big & little sisters were the other two things, despite the fact that one of them thought he should try harder even when he was giving his all.

But no matter, it wasn't her fault anyways, she just reminded him of what he was.

...useless excuse of a brother—!

Ah, the key word, useless. Something he's always thought he was. His constant failures remind him of that, he reminded himself, and now his seventeen year old sister has done the same thing.

Ivan looked up again, the sun disappeared and was replaced with the stars. He stood up and hopped on the ledge.

He paced back and forth, hoping he would just lose his balance and fall off, however his balance was too good for that to even happen.

Ivan stopped, sighed and looked up. "May the stars in the sky be the only witness to this serendipitous accident." With that, he spread his arms wide, and tilted forward, slipping off the ledge and down towards the ground.

Oh how the wind in his hair and his coat billowing out behind him was something he's always loved. Soaring in the sky and feeling absolutely weightless was a feeling that would always stick with him. It made him feel free.

He was free.

"Mr. Braginski?! Mr. Braginski?! Someone! Please call 911!"

The shrill sound of the house phone came from the hallway. Katyusha got up, went out her bedroom and answered the phone.

"Hello? Yes this is Katyusha..I'm his big sister.." Katyusha suddenly felt the phone slip out of her hand. She gripped it tightly. "Y-Yes I'll be there as soon as I possibly can." She whispered and quickly hung up, letting the phone fall to the ground carelessly.

Katyusha slid down the wall, she hid her eyes in her hands as she sobbed violently.

Natalya ran out of her room. "Kat, why are you crying what's wrong?" She asked bending down to her level.

Katyusha didn't even bother to look up at her. "Ivan's dead." She choked out.

Natalya's blood ran cold as she fell back on the wall opposite of her sister. "I-Ivan is..dead..?" She whispered to herself. She squeezed her eyes shut, but the tears still came rolling down her cheeks. How could Ivan be dead? She just saw him no more than 2 hours ago. He can't be dead, he just can't be…

"Come on. We're going down to where they found his body. Go scrap up some change, we have to take the bus because he took the car." Katyusha ordered as she stood up wiping her eyes.

Natalya wordlessly nodded and went to her room. Dead? He can't be dead.

Hundreds of people gathered around the scene, leaving Natalya speechless. Police officers, paramedics, detective inspectors, bystanders, so many people surrounded him.

Katyusha grabbed her hand and pulled her over to one of the D.I's. "Detective, can you please tell me what happened here?"

"That information is currently confidential Miss, I can't release it to the public." He detective murmured.

Katyusha narrowed her eyes. "I'm not the public, I'm his sister and I demand that you tell me right now detective."

The Detective turned around to her. "Well from what we've conjured up is that he jumped from this 58 story building and landed on the concrete, cracking his skull wide open, and breaking other bones along the way. I'm sorry for your loss."

Katyusha shook her head as tears started to roll down her cheeks once more. "Suicide? He would never think of..how could he go through with such a thing?" She asked.

"Well things like this is commonly either because of psychological problems, words or actions one may have did or said, or even…"

words or actions one may have commonly said or done

"I killed him."

"Natalya what are you talking about?"

Natalya pushed and shoved the people out of her way to get to her brother's lifeless body before they could zip up the bag. "Ivan! I didn't mean what I said! I love you and I'm sorry! Is that what you wanted to hear?! I'm sorry! Just please don't leave me and Kat here alone!" She screamed at the body before falling over him and sobbing.

Katyusha ran over and pulled her sister off of him. "We're done here, and we're going home."

"But—!"

"No buts Natalya. I'm sick, it's cold out here, and I'm ready to go home."

She had disrespected the two enough, the least she could do was be less of the nuisance she already is and listen to her. Natalya rubbed her eyes. "Yes big sister." She said and wordlessly made her way to the car.

.

.

.

The ride was silent for the most part. The only thing being heard was Natalya's soft sniffles.

"W-Why didn't you let me stay with him j-just a little l-longer?" She hiccuped.

"Because why would I want you around something like that if I knew that you were just going to blame yourself?"

"But it was my fault."

"Stop saying that, if it were anyones fault it would be mine for not asking him where he was going and to not go back out that door because it was getting late."

Natalya looked up at her. "You didn't call him useless and tell him to try harder." She spat.

"You're seventeen now, you have yet to understand the full lesson of loving things while they're still in reach, stop taking things for granted and appreciate it because you never know when it's going to be gone." Katyusha parked in the driveway and turned off the car. Natalya instantly got out the car and ran inside and up to her room.

Sighing Katyusha dragged herself out the car in the house and directly to Ivan's room, surprised that Natalya wasn't in there already.

She looked around, vodka bottles surrounded the bed, other than that the room was moderately clean. She walked over to the desk, grimacing before sweeping everything off it and falling in the chair to sob more.

Natalya hugged her knees as she sat in her bed, still crying. 'How could I have been so stupid? Why did I tell him that? Why did you let your anger get the best of you?' So many thoughts ran through her head.

Natalya's head shot up, and she leaned over to rummage through her nightstand to pull out a letter opener. She had forgot all about it, she used it to open the letters from her pen pal.

She held it to her wrist. She wanted to feel the same pain her brother felt even though she knew he could never feel the same unless…

The letter opener went from her wrist to her throat. She squeezed her eyes shut and the grip on the letter opener tightened.

Suddenly her eyes tore open and she threw the letter opener across the room, panting.

"No matter how much you loved your brother, it's not worth another life." She whispered to herself as she continued to pant. Soon she caught her breath, and she curled up in a ball, and fell asleep.

Katyusha sat up rubbing her eyes. She looked at the clock, 2:15. She must have cried herself to sleep. She heard the door come open, and Natalya slipped inside, her eyes bloodshot and puffy from crying, just like her sisters.

"How are you?" Katyusha asked.

She shrugged as she made her way over to her sister's side. "I've been better." She murmured.

"Well at least you're not crying anymore."

Natalya nodded as she looked at the papers Katyusha knocked on the ground. She bent down and looked over them. "Kat he wrote a suicide note."

"Huh?"

"This paperwork, it's all apart of a suicide note." She explained as she looked over it, looking at the date, September 7. That was yesterday. Does that mean he wrote this yesterday? He was planning this all along? Shaking her head from her thoughts, started to read,

My dearest sisters,

By the time you find this note I would be gone I'm sorry for waking you two up in the middle of the night like this, I just didn't want you worrying had I did this earlier. I'm also sorry that it had to end this way. I have been so depressed for such a long time I didn't even feel like myself anymore, just numb and dead. What is the use of keeping a body around that's numb and dead anyways? It's just a walking corpse, so I've decided to make things right. There was nothing neither one of you could have said or done to stop this, nor could I have anyone else try to save me. Try not to miss me too much while I'm gone. None of this is your fault, I promise, I still love you, the both of you, so very much. Katyusha even though I'm not around anymore, does not give you an excuse to not think about anything anymore. Keep Natalya well fed and healthy. Natalya respect your sister, remember who you're talking to because you know you can become rather imprudent when you get angry or don't get your way. You can't let that control you, find a way to break it and you'll be alright.

All my love,

Ivan

A/N I've killed, and I feel bad, well not that bad. Anyways, I hope you guys liked it, if it get's reviews then I'll most defiantly be putting up the second one. I ask that you review because it's extremely helpful to hear your feedback. Questions/Concerns can be sent through PM, and I will gladly answer them. Thank you again for reading and please review!