Author's Note: This fic was written as a joke. I never published it because FF does not allow any fancy formatting, and much of the content in this fic was in strikethrough font. My friend gave me the idea to upload it but to change the striked-through portions to (underlined and in parenthesis). The strike-through was really only meant to convey my stream of consciousness as I wrote this and to say the things that the characters mean but don't say. Hope you enjoy it!
Once upon a time, as many of these tales go, there lived a spoiled (brat) prince in a (galaxy) kingdom far, far away. The youngest of four brothers by many years, he was pampered by his parents, never told off for any vices, and never burdened with any responsibilities. And the young prince grew up (partying) in revelry, frequenting taverns and brothels; but his parents turned a blind eye to his nighttime debauchery; they could only speak praises of his prowess with the sword and on horseback.
As it happened, one day, the prince dallied too far with the daughter of a witch. Furious when he refused to marry the girl, she turned him into a frog and cursed him to remain so unless kissed by a princess out of true love affection. Worse still, even if the curse was broken, he would turn back into a frog if he did not stay true to his princess.
So the frog prince hopped from kingdom to kingdom, (creeping on) approaching princesses as they read or played in the gardens. Most of them (freaked out) screamed and ran away as soon as he started to speak; the rest of them refused to kiss a frog. After wandering for what felt like years, although it really was only a few weeks, the frog prince started to lose hope of ever becoming human again.
Then one day, he came upon a walled (castle) (prison) (palace) (fortress) mansion. He slipped through a crack in the wall and found himself in a lovely garden which had its own pond. By the pond sat a young girl, who appeared to be speaking to a group of frogs. But because none of them were cursed princes, they did not talk back. The frog prince eagerly hopped over to join them.
"And are you a cursed prince?" she asked the newest addition.
"Why, indeed I am," replied the prince gleefully. "Are you a princess?" he asked her.
"Yes, indeed I am," said she, drawing herself up. "I have heard that my sister was (stalked) visited by a frog who claimed he would turn into a prince if she kissed him. Was it you?"
"I have visited many princesses," answered the frog. "Your sister may have been one of them. But they were all afraid to kiss me."
"Well, I shan't be," declared the princess and promptly picked him up and kissed his head, while the other frogs (were grossed out) croaked in shock.
To his great delight, the frog turned back into a prince, but to his dismay, he turned into a (naked) nude prince. After all, his clothes hadn't been transformed along with him.
"Oh my!" exclaimed the princess, but she didn't avert her gaze.
"Can you fetch me some men's garments?" he asked the princess urgently.
She shook her head, still staring at him.
"Why not?" he demanded.
"If anyone finds you here, you will be in great trouble," she explained.
"Then I should leave," said the prince. "(Kthnxbai.) Thank you for the kiss."
And so he climbed a tree that grew near the wall and jumped out. But as soon as he hit the ground, he had turned back into a frog. So the frog prince had no choice but to slip through the crack again and hope back to the princess.
"Your kiss didn't work," he accused her, "(because I abandoned you) because you didn't kiss me with enough affection."
"But I didn't kiss you with any affection at all!" said she.
"Well, do so now; and we shall be even."
"I think not," she said, crossing her arms. "Kissing a frog once is quite enough."
He was about to argue back, but just then one of her companions came to collect her. The prince decided not to reveal himself to the companion. Instead he hopped behind them and followed them into the mansion. Perhaps if he followed her everywhere, perhaps she would give in. (But then, there would be no affection now, would there?)
When he followed her to bed, the princess offered him a deal.
"I will kiss you again if you do me a favor."
She explained that she was promised in virgin marriage to a great wizard, but she was convinced that the wizard really wanted her for some kind of virgin sacrifice. Unfortunately, she also gave her father reason to not trust her with her virtue, so he locked her up in a mansion with no male presence save eunuch guards.
"So, if you promise to help me lose my virginity, I will kiss you again."
This sounded like a (win win) fair deal to our prince and he readily took her up on the offer. But even as he did, he worried about how he would escape the next morning. Perhaps he could hide in somewhere in the room and slip out to the garden and climb over the wall. (And sleeping with him certainly counted as affection, didn't it?)
However, much to his dismay, when he awoke the next morning, he had turned back into a frog.
Not knowing what else to do, and having lost hope once again, the frog remained with the princess. Her companions thought she had found herself a pet frog, but, really, she had found herself a secret lover. She was, in truth, delighted at having defied her father and unbeknownst to him as yet, having thwarted his plans.
Every night, she would turn him back to a prince, and every morning he would turn back to a frog. During the day, she would take him with her to the pond side and play with her golden ball while the others frogs shook their heads in disapproval.
She told him about her cruel father and her unfeeling sister and her poor dead mother and for the first time, the prince realized that he was (a spoiled brat) quite lucky in his family. For the first time, he even felt sorry for her.
Reminded of his loving family, the prince decided he should not give up and the next day he slipped through the crack in the wall and set off once again on his quest to find the princess who would kiss him with true affection.