Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Standing at Jackson's grave, Aaron felt the hot tears slip down his cheeks. He hated to think how disappointed Jackson must be with Aaron, how disgusted he would be with the part Aaron had played in Katie's death and the way he had covered it up and let everyone believe that she died alone in a terrible accident. Wiping away the tears, he felt the sharp pain in his foot from the newest cuts left from his excessive marathon training. Pressing his foot into the ground in that exact spot, he breathed out as he felt the pain course through his body and release a tiny bit more of the agony and guilt he was feeling. He felt angry at the tears that were falling, after Jackson he had taught himself to be tough and fight back the tears, but now he was unable to prevent the tears from falling.
Let me see you through
'cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less
Feeling a presence next to him, Aaron turned and saw Robert stood next to him, hands in his pockets and head hung in defeat and exhaustion. Aaron looked into Robert's eyes and saw the weary guilt that he knew was reflected in his own eyes. The two men had shared something that was so terrible, nothing would be able to break the bond it had formed between them. As much as he detested Robert, he was the only person who truly knew what Aaron was going through. The only person who knew what it was like to lay awake at night with images of Katie's pale lifeless body led out on the stone floor and eyes staring into his own, unable to escape from the blank stare no matter how far away he got. The only person who knew what it was like to feel the weight of the guilt on his shoulders 24/7 and having to cover it up in front of those he loved most, even though all he wanted to do was break down and reveal everything.
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Stepping closer to the other man and still feeling the pain in his feet, Aaron rested his hand against Robert's and felt Robert grip onto it, tight, as if it was his lifeline. Aaron's hand fit perfectly into Robert's larger hand and Aaron felt Robert's hand shaking as the tears fell down his own face. They stood side by side with their joined hands between them, the rain that had just begun to fall pouring down on them. Turning to face Aaron, Robert placed his hand on the young mechanic's face and drew their mouths together. The kiss was filled with desperation, each of the trying to forget about the secret that haunted them night and day. Neither of them cared that they were stood in the middle of the churchyard where anyone could see them, all they cared about was forgetting about everything.
So if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
Pulling away, Robert rested his forehead against Aaron's and Aaron felt a combination of the rain, Robert's tears and his own tears run down his face. Linking their hands, Robert pulled him to a nearby house which Aaron knew Home Farm rented out but was currently empty. Robert unlocked the door to the fully furnished house and in one fluid motion pulled Aaron in, slamming the door behind them and joining their lips once more. This kiss was similar to the first, full of desperation and a primal need to be close to another person. They held on to each other tight, as if they were scared that any minute they would open their eyes and the other man would be gone and they would be left alone once more in this terrible nightmare that had haunted them ever since Katie's death.
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'cause even if you're wrong
Soon the clothes began to come off, albeit very slowly because both men had shaking hands and could barely see through their tears. With each item of clothing that dropped to the floor, hands explored the newly exposed skin with the intention of purely maintaining a physical connection between the two men. Their lips barely parted, and neither man opened his eyes to look at the empty, broken look in the other man's eyes because they both knew that it was mirrored in their own. This was the only way that they were able to empty their mind of the terrible things that they had done, and even though it only increased Aaron's guilt as he was sleeping with a married man However, at times like this the fact that Robert was married was forced to the back of Aaron's mind because his sole intention was to forget about the guilt that he felt.
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
When the final item of clothing was removed the two men collapsed onto the sofa, Robert finding his normal position above Aaron. The next few minutes were a blur of entangled limbs, sharp thrusts and carnal moans. The two men were joined as one and for a few minutes, they were able to forget about the pain that they were going through. All that mattered was that the two of them were there, together, united as one. Robert knew exactly how Aaron liked it and Aaron was unable to control his groans as Robert moved above him, sending shockwaves of pleasure across Aaron's body. Neither of them noticed how uncomfortable the sofa was or the was that the armrest of the sofa was forcing Aaron's next to be at a strange angle or the way that the sofa creaked as if it was about to collapse into a broken heap on the floor.
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
When it was finished, the two men remained on the sofa, completely drained of energy. Despite the lack of space on the sofa, they managed to manoevure themselves so that they were in a reasonable comfortable position. Robert was stretched out against the back of the sofa, head resting on the armrest and feet hanging off the end of the sofa. Aaron was laying on his stomach half on the edge of the sofa and half on top of Robert, his head resting on Robert's chest. The sound of Robert's steady heartbeat calmed Aaron and he found that the tears had stopped falling and for the first time in a long time he felt at peace with himself. Glancing up at Robert he saw the other man looking down at him and Robert's eyes looked much clearer than they had before.
And when...
When the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own
Aaron felt his entire body relax as the two men lay there, arms wrapped around each other to make sure that neither of them left the other. Robert's long fingers tracked patterns on Aaron's back and Aaron felt Robert's fingers work their usual magic as Aaron felt his body relax further. Neither of them spoke because neither of them needed to. All they needed was the other's presence and to know that the other was there for them. Because they had no one else to turn to, no one else who understood what they were going through. Robert's breathing slowed and deepened and Aaron realised that he had fallen asleep. It was probably the first time since Katie's death that he had gone to sleep knowing that he wouldn't have nightmares or wake up in a cold sweat seeing those blank eyes everywhere he looked.
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
Aaron felt a ghost of a smile pass over his lips as he thought about Robert. He truly hated the man, yet loved him at the same time. He was the only person that got to see this side of Robert, the beautiful, honest, genuine man that was currently sleeping below Aaron. The selfish and over-confident Robert that everyone knew and despised was just a façade that Robert put up in order to cover who he really was, but Aaron had managed to break down that wall and see Robert's true personality. It was just a shame that no one else was able to see the Robert that he saw. He would not give up on Robert, no matter how many times that Robert hurt him. He knew Robert better than anyone else, even Chrissie, and knew that without the support that Aaron was offering, Robert would crumble.
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
In this room time appeared to stop. Nobody knew where they were, neither of them had their phones turned on so could not be contacted and they did not keep track of how long they had been there. Aaron did not think about what would happen when Robert had to return to his wife, to his 'perfect' life at Home Farm. He did not think about what would happen when Aaron had to return to the pub and what excuse he would have to come up with for why he was not answering his mother's calls. And he certainly did not think about what would happen when he was alone in his room, when the anaesthetic that this thing with Robert had provided had worn off. When he would once again see Katie's empty eyes and Jackson's disappointed face and would no longer be able to feel the taste of Robert on his skin or the feel in his fingers as they raked through Aaron's hair or see Robert's eyes, clear and honest and his. So for the moment, all that he cared about was that Robert was there and that they had each other.
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Song lyrics: .