Hindsight

Hindsight is not only clearer than perception-in-the-moment but also unfair to those who actually lived through the moment.

EDWIN S. SHNEIDMAN, Autopsy of a Suicidal Mind

Morgan paid for his coffee and walked towards the Quantico main entrance, out of the corner of his eye he caught the sight of Reid. The kid, not paying attention, was walking towards a member of the cleaning crew who had stopped in his path to fix the wheel on his cart. Morgan quickly caught him by the arm and pulled him away so he wouldn't trip over the man.

"What was that for?" Spencer asked him.

"Did you not see the janitor and his cart?" Spencer looked behind them and realised that Morgan had prevented an accident. "Where's your head at this morning?"

His eyes widened, not wanting to elaborate on his thoughts, still raw with grief, Spencer mumbled "Thanks." He continued his journey to the elevator.

Seeing the 'deer in headlights' expression, Morgan realised where the younger man's thoughts had been. Quickly catching up to him, he caught the elevator door as it was about to close. "Listen, Reid, if you ever want to talk about Maeve, I'm hear."

Reid turned to the older man and contemplated his offer. "Thank you, but I'm not ready to talk." Morgan was unsure what to say, and was saved by the doors pinging open, revealing Garcia with an armful of files, her mood brightening the atmosphere immediately.

"Good morning Baby Girl," Morgan gave her a wide smile.

"I'll show you a good morning Hot Stuff." She smiled flirtatiously at Morgan before turning her attention towards the other departing occupant. "Morning, Reid."

"Morning Garcia," wanting to escape Morgan's scrutiny he went to get his morning coffee.

"Hey, everybody at the round table in five minutes, there's a case," she called to his retreating form. She turned to Morgan. "Is he okay?"

"I'm not sure," he sighed. "It takes time," he said his own thoughts drifting back to those seven months of hell. Garcia's eyes relayed her own empathy as she recalled how broken they had all been. Not wanting to dwell on the past, Morgan brought them back to the present "What's the case Baby Girl?"

"Horrible. Two girls found dead, another one missing. Florida"

…...

They'd been in Florida for a day and a half when it happened. He'd snapped and stormed off. Apparently one of the victims had complained to the police about someone peeking into her house at all hours and the local PD had done nothing. Hotch went to follow the young agent, but Morgan stepped in between them and said he'd go check on him.

He walked for about five minutes before he found Reid, sat on a bench in a park staring blankly at everything going on around at him, not taking anything in. The same expression he had worn the morning before.

"Mind if I sit?" Morgan broke through his train of thought. Spencer gestured to the other half of the bench.

"Is Hotch mad?"

"No, he's concerned. We all are."

"I'm angry. That girl was being harassed and they didn't check it out. They should have at least sent a patrol car through the neighbourhood."

"I understand, they dropped the ball. But we can now follow this line of inquiry and try to catch this guy." Morgan paused. "You've got to keep it professional."

"I know," Spencer looked down at his hands, unsure whether to continue. But considering his outburst at the lead local detective, and the fact that Morgan had to step in caused him to carry on "It's just lately I've been thinking about hind sight and what I would have done differently if I had known that was all the time I was going to get with Maeve." He paused.

Morgan took a deep breath, trying not to recall the similar thoughts he'd had after Emily had 'died'. He waited for Spencer to continue, the younger man needed someone to listen not tell him what to do or feel.

"And I've concluded that I'm mad at you," Spencer said glancing at Morgan.

"Me? Why me?"

"Because you were presented with a second chance and never took it." Before Morgan could respond, Spencer started his journey back to the police station.

He sat on the bench for a few minutes, watching the retreating form of Reid. He had never thought it would've been Reid to call him out on his feelings for Emily. He always assumed Hotch would, maybe Rossi, but never Reid. Morgan rose to his feet slowly and followed the doctor back to station, thoughts drifting to a night of dancing, whispered promises, goodbyes, and stolen kisses that had never been spoken of since.