A/N: so while i should be working on my other fic
i instead wrote fanfiction for the couple i ship in every quadrant no matter how unrealistic it is
have it
also sorry for the lack of 8 actual exclamation points ff is being a dick
There was no one in the room that could rub her the wrong way quite like Eridan Ampora.
Vriska had tried to do her job. She'd tried to keep up conversation with John and occasionally the others kids and just do her damn job and help the useless humans. However, Eridan and Feferi, the somewhat unlikely tag-team they were, were the ones shirking their work, and no matter what they did, it bothered her.
They'd found some spare scraps of paper in some untouched room, and had taken to scribbling ridiculous pick-up lines on pieces of paper and crumpling them up, tossing them at their designated party. (Tavros had gotten one from Feferi reading, "You tak—E my br—Eath away! 38)", which if she was perfectly honest, had actually managed to elicit a genuine snicker from Vriska.)
And for a while, Vriska was lucky enough (as usual) to avoid them, till she was hit right in the side of the head by a crumpled piece of paper, and her sideways glare at the pair caught a snickering Eridan. Reluctantly deciding to humour them, Vriska picked the piece of paper up and unfolded it, her actions all greatly exaggerated. Much to her surprise, it did not, in fact, contain a shitty pick-up line, but rather, scrawled out in Eridan's messy handwriting, read, "8itch!"
A wry grin spread across her blue painted lips and she stood to face to two, who admittedly shrunk back a little in fear as she crossed the drab room to meet them.
"Why thank you, Eridan!" Vriska chimed, her voice frighteningly sweet. "You even used the eight, and—oh, you counted out eight exclamation points just for me! How sweet. Come here, give us a kiss."
"Okay, Vris, the joke's over, you win, we'll quit," Eridan replied, shrinking up against the wall on the counter he was sat on, properly frightened for what the blue-blood was planning for him. There was no easy escape route, however, and Feferi had long since scampered away, and before he knew it, Vriska was upon him.
Instead of hurting him, however, like breaking his wrist or bruising his jaw like he'd expected, she snatched up the sides of his face with bruising force so he could not tear away and pressed a rough kiss to the side of his cheeks, making sure to stain his stony cheek with her bloody blue lipstick and make her mark. After a brief moment she pulled away, a smug smirk on her lips and eyes narrowed in satisfaction as she inspected her work, all the while gripping his jaw tight with one hand with strength that actually made his bones ache before dropping his face. He quickly inhaled, realizing he'd been holding his breath the entire time, watching her with astonishment as she wordlessly returned to her seat like nothing had happened.
And to think what would have happened had he used a real pick-up line.