Under the glow of the lamp on the corner, Veronica leans against the side of the blue convertible, head tilted slightly as she considers the goodbye playing out in front of her.
Logan walks Ruby to the gate, all good manners and magnanimity. Ruby takes full advantage of her one shot and shoves her tongue down Logan's throat. He's been a good sport all night and continues to be so now. He doesn't engage, but he also doesn't fight her. Instead, his back and arms go rigid and he stops moving.
Veronica shakes her head. Her shoulders relax for the first time all night. Ruby thinks she's had a date with Logan Echolls, but she doesn't have a clue what that experience actually feels like.
The whole night has been just one big sick, voyeuristic experience that Veronica's engineered to cover her ass — torture herself? provide penance?
Ruby was clearly having a good time, and why wouldn't she? Logan had been a complete gentleman, attentive and funny, but clearly he was only playing a part. The strain behind his eyes was hidden from his date but not from her.
Never from her.
A genuinely attentive and loving Logan is all smoldering looks that turn your knees to Jello and kisses that make you feel like there is no one else in the world.
Made her feel like.
But that's not what strikes her at the moment. Not really. It's that in the middle of the hurricane his life has become, he was willing to — let's face it — allow her pimp him out to a possible murderer just to help her. He didn't even hesitate. But then, he's never hesitated when she was in trouble, has he? She's just sorry that she's always done — and continues to do, apparently — such a piss poor job of keeping herself out of trouble. She never deserved that kind of loyalty, but hopefully by coming to help him now, she can finally show him some of the loyalty that he's earned. She owes him that, at least.
Logan shakes off the assault and starts over toward Veronica. Every step triggers a new memory for her.
Right foot. Logan is eleven, all braces and gangly arms. Lilly is introducing them on a soccer field.
Left foot. Logan is thirteen, in board shorts and much taller. The braces are gone and he's soaked from riding his first big wave.
Right foot. He's fifteen and in a dark suit, crying on her porch clutching a half full bottle of tequila.
Left foot. Logan is in horrendous orange cargo pants and flip-flops, grinning maniacally at her across the tables in the quad.
Right foot. He's sobbing in her arms in the middle of a hotel lobby.
Left foot. He's running up to her and spinning her around, face closing in for a kiss.
Right foot. Logan is spitting blood onto the floor, accepting his own mortality, almost welcoming it.
Left foot. Logan is in his dress whites, smiling shyly but confidently.
Right foot. He's back on the street corner, standing in front of her with his hands in his pockets, grateful for her help.
They exchange platitudes, something about her flying across the continent and the reunion, but Veronica's focus is on the fact that she is finally in a position to renew their...What? Friendship? She doesn't want to jinx it by giving it a label.
She's come a long way since leaving for Stanford all those years ago without so much as a "see you around." She's put her psych degree to work, analyzing her own issues and coming to terms with her faults. Despite her progress, she does have regrets, and at the top of that list has always been Logan. It's unlikely that she would have ever made the first move, and she would have preferred that he not be embroiled in the midst of (another!) murder investigation, but she's never been one to turn down an opportunity, after all.
He turns down her offer of dinner with Mac and Wallace and she turns down his offer of a ride to the airport but she doesn't want to say goodbye just yet. There are too many memories floating through her head to be ignored. Better to submerge herself in them one last time, get them all out of her system, before heading back to New York City and P–.
No, not now. He has no place here.
"Let's take the long way home," she finds herself suggesting with a jaunty smile, but inside, her heart is hammering.
Logan has to know what she wants. Lord knows they'd made the drive often enough, the Fab Four, music blaring. In the car, she searches his panoply of radio stations until she finds one playing 90s hits. Might as well set the mood properly, Veronica thinks to herself as Rob Thomas' voice fills the car. She starts to sings along under her breath.
My Spanish Harlem Mona Lisa
You're my reason for reason
Logan looks over, smirks at her choice and starts the car. Veronica sinks back into the leather seats that feel like butter while homes fly by like the memories flitting through her head. These long drives started, as all things did, with Lilly.
The Lincoln Town Car pulled up to the curb in front of a yellow bungalow with a blue mailbox at the end of the drive. Fourteen-year-old Veronica Mars jumped up from her perch on the edge of the porch swing just as the back door was thrown open and a blonde head peeked out, shouting, "C'mon, V'ronica! Let's get you the hell away from here."
Oh, thank God, Veronica thought as she escaped into the getaway car, right into the waiting hug of her best friend. "You're the best, Lil. I just—," Veronica's voice trembled, and she paused to regain control, "—I couldn't listen to her ranting anymore."
Lilly pulled back and rolled her eyes. "What was it this time?"
"Vodka. Which means it was her 'I was prom queen and look at me now!' bender." Bitterness filled Veronica's voice before it melted away and was replaced by a sobbing plea. "What's so wrong with her life now, Lilly? What more can I do to make it right?" Veronica collapsed into a weeping mess.
Holding her sobbing friend, Lilly called to the driver, "Simmonds, take us to the boardwalk," then turned back to Veronica. "You can keep being your awesome self. Moms suck, you know that. Look at the Ice Queen. We just need to grow up to be fabulous so we can get the hell out of this town and as far away from them as possible."
Veronica quieted into hiccupping gasps and wiped her eyes as Lilly dug into her purse for Kleenex and her compact. "Good. Now that my shirt is soaked, we can go get the boys so that at least Logan can appreciate the wet t-shirt action I've got going on, then we'll go have some fun." Lilly raised her voice. "Simmonds, before the boardwalk stop at Logan's… And turn on that CD I gave you. We need some tunes!"
Spice Girls blared through the sound system and Lilly sang along; Veronica joined in more tentatively between hiccups.
Awareness returns as they wind through the streets of the 09er zip code. She must have missed driving through the Gaslamp Quarter and alongside the USS Midway, where Lilly used to love scoping out the Navy officers.
"I wonder what Lilly would say about you being in the Navy, considering how much she used to love Fleet Week," Veronica muses.
Logan chuckles beside her, teasing, "Only she loved Fleet Week, Veronica? You never had aspirations of landing a hot sailor?" Logan freezes and his eyes widen as he realizes what he's just said, though she really doesn't mind his innocuous flirting. He clears his throat before continuing. "You know, when I first joined OCS, I had this dream about her. I used to dream about her sometimes –"
"I'll bet you did," Veronica cuts him off with a suggestive tone and a waggle of the eyebrows. This feels good. Normal.
"— BUT," Logan speaks over her interruption, "I hadn't had one in years. Anyway, it was early on, and I was lying in my bunk wondering why the hell I was putting myself through all that, when I guess I dozed off. Next thing I know, Lilly was sitting on the edge of the bunk telling me that she knew I was doing it to impress her, and that she was very impressed, so I had to buck up and make sure she got to see me in the full white outfit."
Veronica laughs out loud. "Sounds like Lilly, making it all about her. I guess it worked though." She gives him a long, searching look. "I'd like to hear about that one day. You joining the Navy must be one heck of a story."
Glancing at her sideways, Logan nods briefly. "I'd like to tell you. One day."
They're passing Luke Haldeman's family's estate, and the Gant property. They skip the entrance to what used to be the Echolls' gated community, as she'd known they would, but when they turn down the Kanes' old street, she looks at Logan in surprise. He doesn't stop completely as they drive by the glass and concrete structure behind the ornate gate, but slows to a crawl until they are well past. Veronica doesn't say anything – what is there left to say? – but she puts all her regrets and hopes into the look that she shares with Logan, and his expression says that he understands.
Logan speeds up and turns the car towards their next stop on the "This Is Your Life" journey she's apparently on. They get out of the car at Amy's and Veronica just short of skips to the counter. Without even asking her what she wants, Logan orders her a triple scoop of Chunky Monkey and Mint Chocolate Chip, sandwiching French Vanilla, in a waffle cone. Veronica puts her hands on her hips, ready to chastise him for his arrogance and presumption, but then he turns towards her and holds out the cone expectantly, hope in his eye that he's still remembered the order correctly, and she doesn't have the heart. Besides, she thinks wryly as she takes the cone, the boy knows his ice cream.
"Yes, Daddy, I'm being careful," Veronica sighed into the cell phone and rolled her eyes at her friends. There was a pause, and then she continued, "Another double shift? That sucks!" She smiled wide and gave her friends a thumbs up. "I'll be home soon. I know, it's forty-five minutes to curfew. No, I shouldn't be late. We're just getting ice cream at Amy's. Yes, I'll call Mom if I'm late, but she's probably already pa-" Veronica paused and rephrased. "She's probably already asleep." There was another silence in the car before she looked to the driver and said, "Lilly, Dad says don't drive too fast."
"Yes, Sheriff!" Lilly called out to be heard over the phone, and waved her hand motioning for Logan to hurry back from the counter with everyone's order.
"OK, Dad. You be careful too and I'll see you in the morning. Love you, too." Veronica hung up the phone and tucked it into her little pink purse on her lap.
"I love you, too," Logan mimicked sarcastically as he walked up. Duncan snickered from the back seat.
"Shut up, Logan," Veronica turned to face him and raised her eyebrow knowingly. "Do you want me to share the conversation I heard you have with your mom the other day?" She reached for her cone from the tray Logan was holding and crinkled her nose. "French Vanilla?"
Logan glared at her in response to her threat and Duncan laughed out loud. Logan tucked his chin inside his collar in defeat. "Yeah, well, it's a good balance for the other two. A palate cleanser between flavours. Trust me, Mars."
Veronica harrumphed at his explanation but started licking and found, though she would never admit it out loud, that he was right.
"Oh shut up all of you," Lilly interrupted. "Did I hear you right, 'Ronica? Your dad's not home and your mom is down for the count?"
Veronica glanced over at Lilly, worried. "Yes, but Lilly, I still need to be home by eleven-thirty. I told my dad I was on my way."
Lilly rolled her eyes and reached for the volume on the stereo. "Don't be such a goody two shoes. Besides, we're technically on our way home. We're just…taking the long way."
Veronica groaned, but she knew it was futile to argue. Lilly was driving, and she'd do what she wanted, no matter what anyone said.
"Besides, Veronica," Duncan added shyly, "don't you want to stay with us? We're way more fun."
She did have to admit that she wanted to stay with her friends, with Duncan…The color on her cheeks deepened, and she was thankful for the darkness.
"Yeah, Donut," Lilly snorted. "You're just a barrel o' fun. That mini-golf idea from before. That was just some super fun stuff."
Logan clapped Duncan on the shoulder. "You know DK can only handle so much excitement, Lil. It's not his fault that you got all the adventure genes in the family. Besides, without him and Mars to keep you straight, Neptune would probably be destroyed by now."
Lilly scoffed. "God knows Veronica is the good angel, but don't kid yourself, Logan. There's a sexy she-devil in there just waiting to come out, and I will find it if it kills me. Oh shit! That was the turn for the beach!" The car jerked left as Lilly spun into a U-turn and headed back the way they came.
It was two hours later before Veronica snuck up her front stairs, covered in sand. Somehow, the next morning, her dad had found out she was home late and grounded her for a week. It was her first official grounding, but far from her last, and completely worth it. Duncan had asked her to the Spring Dance while they were at the beach.
She is decidedly less sandy when they pull up to her dad's house, despite their quick stop at Crescent Beach. The whole night has been surreal, considering Logan wasn't even her date, but in the end, it doesn't matter. In just over two hours they've taken a trip through their adolescent memories and survived. They haven't really talked about anything important during their drive, only small mentions of the Kanes or acknowledging a song that they remembered. Still, just their silence feels like the best conversation she's had in years. She thinks — hopes — that she might just have gotten her oldest friend back. Permanently, maybe. On speed dial and everything. Veronica crosses off her number one regret from her mental list and turns to Logan, cautiously optimistic.
"Thanks for the ride. It was…just like old times."
"It was." Logan smiles softly. "C'mon, I'll walk you up. It's been years since I've experienced the Mr. Mars Curtain Rustle."
"Yeah, no, thanks. That's one part of memory lane I can happily detour. He's already being…" Veronica lets her thought falter. Logan doesn't need to hear how her father has been behaving. In an attempt to refocus the conversation, she points down at the car and says wickedly, "God, it must have been a huge cereal box."
Logan throws his head back and guffaws at the memory. "Oh, man! I totally deserved that."
"Yes, you did. But it is a beautiful car. I could just curl up in this seat and fall asleep."
"Nothing but the best for an Echolls, you know that," Logan answers back, faux arrogance at play.
"Jackass." She says it without heat, though, like an endearment. Veronica looks over at Logan and sees his eyes darken. The smolder that she had spent all night looking for starts to creep across his face. Her skin tingles.
She can't let him go there. She can't go there. It's time for her to leave. "Good night, Logan."
Veronica gets out of the car and glances back. Understanding and resignation flicker over Logan's face before he replaces his friendship mask and gives her a small wave.
As she crosses in front of the car, he revs the engine. She's lived this particular scenario before, so she smacks his hood with her jacket like she's supposed to. She winks at him, acknowledging the shared memory but continues towards the house.
"Hey, Mars!" Logan calls from behind her.
Veronica spins just as she reaches the first step of the porch.
Logan pauses, clearly searching for the right words. "Thanks again."
A slow grin crosses Veronica's face. "Anytime."