Title: How the Mischief Got Managed
Summary: Just how did Fred and George figure out the Marauder's Map?
Disclaimer: I am not Rowling. If this makes me money I'll eat my hat
Author's Note: Let it be known this is the first fic I've ever written that hasn't been an attempt to fix a cannon screw-up. Thank you HP:DH for not making me write more fanfic.
AN2: So about 4:30 am the day after DH came out, my sister was playing a HP trivia game and asked, "besides, how did Fred and George figure out how to work the map anyway?" "They probably just asked it." This fic is her fault.
The two boys ran through the halls, looking more like streaks of orange than actual students. They flew by the fat lady, calling out "Nimblewonks" as they jumped into the hole. Finally, the two collapsed into their favorite squishy chairs in their common room and pulled out the prize of their most recent misdeeds. Looking at the paper they were confused. "Why would Filch bother to confiscate a piece of paper" asked Fred. George turned the sheet over in his hands, looking for anything out of the ordinary. "Well it's got to be something fun, else why'd he have it locked up."
Fred grabbed his quill, "We could write on it?"
George rolled his eyes, "and what would we write?"
Mr. Padfoot believes "Filch is an ugly git" is always appropriate.
Fred and George looked at the parchment in shock. Blinking a few times, Fred decided to go with it.
"Excuse me, piece of paper, what exactly did you do to get locked up by that nasty Mr. Filch?"
Mr. Moony blames it on being too useful for our own good.
Mr. Padfoot agrees, but also thinks Filch gets his kicks from lording what bit of power he has over students by being overly irritating.
Fred was still in shock, but, feeling a bond with the paper from their obviously brilliant assessment of Filch, began to talk back to it. "Our theory is he thinks if he can be nasty enough we'll all stop wanting to stay here and he and Mrs. Norris can have more alone time."
Mr. Prongs agrees with this assessment, as he always thought there was something funny going on between him and that cat.
George stifled his laughter. "So you're a paper that insults Filch? I have to say, bloody brilliant idea. We should start mass-producing them"
Mr. Padfoot agrees that such a creation would be well worth it's making, but must inform you two that you have something of far greater value.
Fred looked weary. "Far greater value? If there was a way to re-create this to insult Snape, I think there are few things which would be of more value in the world.
Mr. Prongs is intrigued, by Snape you wouldn't happen to be describing a smelly,
Mr. Moony slimy,
Mr. Wormtail greasy! Don't forget greasy!
Mr. Padfoot all-around-git?
George snickered, "hasn't showered since before I was born..."
"Spends all day swirling potions in the dungeon cause no one wants to actually speak to him"
"Makes life hell for we poor, broken-down Gryffindors?" said George with such melodrama that even he couldn't keep a straight face.
Mr. Padfoot believes that perhaps these two may be worthy of our secret.
Mr. Moony is not sure, are they quite up to the legacy of the Marauders?
"The who?" asked the twins in unison.
Mr. Padfoot is shocked that the exploits of the Marauders have been so quickly forgotten. They were the greatest troublemakers ever to attend Hogwarts!
"Excuse me, you are talking to the two greatest troublemakers ever to use magic!" boasted Fred
"Our Mom's sent us so many Howlers our seats in the great hall have smoke damage!"
"We've blown up half of Snape's dungeon before!"
"We have had more detentions in the past month then the rest of the Gryffindors combined and that's just the times we've got caught!"
Mr. Prongs believes that these two may perhaps be worthy of our great secret, but believes they must answer one final question...
Mr. Padfoot demands, upon the Fat Lady's extraordinarily large knickers, to know what these two would do if they had knowledge of all the secret comings and goings of any person at Hogwarts.
Fred cried out "Prank Filch!"
"And Snape!" added George.
"And blame the Syltherins!" they shouted together.
Mr. Moony believes that we may have found our successors.
Mr. Prongs agrees, as anyone with such distaste for Snivellus must be an excellent judge of character.
Mr. Padfoot reluctantly, but with great pride, bestows the honor of greatest troublemaker upon these two newcomers.
George looked at the paper once more. "Wait, so what do you actually do?"
Mr. Moony believes that if you tap this paper once and state "I solemnly swear I am up to no good" you will find the greatest asset to pranking ever seen within the noble halls of this school.
Fred and George pulled out their wands and tapped the parchment.
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
As the ink began to fill the page, showing all the wonders of the map, Fred and George grinned at each other "Wicked!"
And the rest is history...