The light rain trickled over my thin body still drenched in sweat from the concert I had done an hour ago. I felt a strong hand close over my arm and looked up to see the big frame of my body guard. We made our way to the waiting car like we had rehearsed it thousands of times, because in reality we had. This was my life. This was what I had become. Every single night performing concerts, maneuvering my way through the crowd of fans and annoying paparazzi. Most people would be happy if they were living the life of me, Miley Cyrus. But, I was an exception. I was tired of it. Changing my image to become popular again, the strenuous tour life, and spending most of the day traveling in a car with tinted windows wasn't exactly how I had planned spending my whole year. There are plus sides to being a worldwide pop sensation though. The plush hotels, million dollar salary, amazing wardrobe, and a hot Australian boyfriend were the main highlights. But things weren't always luxurious and perfect. Tour life usually, no ALWAYS, brought drama.
"MILEY!" Josh, my bodyguard yelled through the intensifying rain, "Get in the car!"
My eyes focused to the open door in front of me. "Sorry…" I replied before getting in the heated black escalade. I dug my hands deeper into the depths of my gray sweatshirt and curled my boot covered feet underneath my black sweats as a positioned myself against my familiar window seat. My cold blue eyes stared out into the stormy Louisiana sky.
"You put on a great show Miles." Liam began as his muscular arms swallowed me up in a giant hug.
I flashed him a smile of thanks hoping he'd fall for it. A moment later I felt his lips brush my forehead. He fell for it.
Liam came off to the world as the perfect boyfriend: hot, caring, and protective. To me he was all those things but really the only reason why we were dating was because he wanted me. Not just for his boyfriend if you're catching my drift. He knew I was a huge pop star with huge sex appeal and couldn't wait to date me. We hadn't done it yet though. He wasn't the one. My mind always kept going back to one person who had always been there for me.
Nick.
Now I'm sure you know the whole story of Nick and I's painful breakup. Outside the arena, pouring rain, fierce screaming, and comforting embraces. It didn't go down well and honestly I regret it. I miss him and he left me when I needed him the most. After all he's put me through I still can't forget him. They say you can never forget your first love, and there is no way that I will ever forget Nick. The last time I saw him was about a year ago, the night before I left to film the Last Song…
The only noise in the dark sticky room was the fan above our lazy heads spinning as fast as it could to cool our bodies off. Our sticky legs were tangled together and our clothes were sticking to our heavy breathing chests. My thin white tank top was twisted down revealing my red bikini still damp from the earlier swim and my jean shorts were unbuttoned sticking loosely to my waist. Nick's swim trunks were low on his waist and my eyes wandered as the sweat trickled down his shirtless chest. Nick turned his curly head towards mine smiling. His hand wandered towards the outline of my small jaw causing my plump pink lips to curl upwards.
"I love you so much." He whispered.
I took those words to heart and cherished their importance. His hand had now moved to the back of my damp neck. His other hand began pushing my wavy hair back off my face.
"I love you too. It feels perfect." I whispered back.
"Just being here with you is all I need." Nick replied, his deep brown eyes staring deep into mine.
We just laid there in silence listening to the ocean waves through the open window as our eyes connected, brown to blue, in beautiful harmony. It was all just too perfect.
His lips slowly moved towards mine and leaned forward encouraging the much anticipated kiss. I tasted the saltiness of from his sweat and I'm sure he could taste the cherry popsicle from earlier. My hands slowly moved across his chest and I felt his lips smirk through the kiss. He pulled my body closer to his as we kissed into the night…
I opened my eyes to see the black car stopped in front of the hotel. My eyes searched around noticing the familiar surroundings. That bench, those trees, and that fountain. It was all too similar. The hotel sign read: The Dallas Hilton. My eyes widened as I realized that this was the same hotel I had stayed in with Nick and his brothers back in 2007. Nick and I had our very first kiss here. It was something special. Groggy from the 3 hour drive from the previous venue into Dallas, I stumbled out of the car and grasped Liam's arm for support. He led me to my room and gave me a quick kiss before disappearing into his own room. I unlocked my room and slowly fell into my bed.
"Uggghhh…" I sighed to myself. Over a period of about 30 minutes, I had finally gotten changed into Sophie shorts and a tank top. Sinking into the plush king sized bed I curled my hand over my phone and closed my eyes knowing I'd be asleep in minutes.
1 minute later, my phone vibrated loudly. Jerking my head up, I fumbled for my phone in the dark room. The glowing name on the screen caught me by surprise.
Nick: Miles, I know it's late but I figured you'd b up. I just wanted to wish u luck 4 ur concert 2mrw. It's only about 3 miles from my house. Have fun and be yourself
My skinny finger ran across the screen as my mind played to message over and over in my head. The words 'be yourself' hit me hard. Suddenly I was excited for the concert tomorrow.
The Next Day (at the venue minutes before Miley was set to go on stage)
I stared at myself in the mirror. This was clearly not me. I had on black short spandex shorts. When I say short, I mean booty shorts. They were too short for my comfort. On top I had a skimpy lacy black bikini top which connected at my stomach and attached to my shorts leaving cut outs on my sides. It was a typical outfit these days. I clenched my microphone and grabbed my stomach feeling the same butterflies I still felt before every show.
"Cyrus, you're on." Kelly, my manager said pushing me towards the stage. I followed my dancers to the sound of the screaming fans.
The show was going perfect. The fans were into the songs. My voice wasn't strained. I had no wardrobe malfunctions. Now, I was just focusing on my finale song. I could change into whatever I wanted for this song. Most days I would pull out a long dress but today I wanted it to be different and just be me. I pulled on my favorite pair of jeans and found Nick's old white v-neck shirt. I slipped it on over my thin frame. I decided to go without shoes as I headed towards side stage. Most people would think I looked like an idiot but I didn't care. This was me and the world needed to see.
I stepped out into the bright lights for the final time and made my way to the end of the catwalk. I adjusted the single mic stand and waiting for the band to start.
The city of angels is lonely tonight
Keep myself alight by candlelight
Say she can love you like I do
Look me in the eyes and say it's true
I ask myself, is this love at all
When I need you most you let me fall
I'm always here at the side of your stage
Let you live your life
Pretend I'm okay
Those words hit me harder than expected. Trying to hold back the tears choking my throat, I continued the song.
I, I don't understand why you're leaving me
I, I don't understand how without you I can't breathe
Please don't, don't leave me here
Take my hand and breath in deep
I don't understand why you can't take me with you
The tears came and couldn't be stopped. My choking voice continued as I dropped to my knees, broken and undone. Useless and hurt. The fans couldn't stop staring and the band continued to play trying to encourage me to keep singing. With all in my I forced my voice to choke out the bridge. The words burned like fire in my chest as I sang them on my knees in front of thousands.
I watched you leave
Walk away tonight
And I'm letting go for the last time
And through the tears I say goodbye
So breathe in, breathe in, breathe in, breathe out
My voice lowered to a whisper and my breathing became heavier and harder. Just as I thought I was going to black out, screams came from the crowd. Not scared screams, excited screams. I blinked back the tears to see the fans pointing behind me. Not having the strength to move, I sat there confused. That's when I felt it. A strong hand on my back. A pair of converse came into view next to me as the hand began rubbing circles on my back. It couldn't be…I thought to myself. My clouded eyes turned to see Nick's curls inches from my face. His chocolate orbs even closer to mine.
"MC, didn't you get my text. You can't bail out on your fans. You just have to be yourself." He whispered comfortingly.
"I choked Nick. I'm dying inside. I'm alone and empty." The broken words came out of my mouth like toxic poison.
"No, no,no,no. MC, you got it all wrong." He whispered. "You didn't choke, you were real for the first time; you're not dying inside, you are just grasping what it means to live; and no you're not alone and empty because you have me and I'm here to stay." His hand traced my jaw line once again. "I love you."
"I love you so much." I replied, my trembling lips just begging for his. He leaned in giving me a passionate kiss. The crowd irrupted into screams of excitement.
"See Miles, it feels good to be yourself doesn't it?" Nick said with a smile.
"If only I would have figured that our earlier." I replied leaning in for another kiss.
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson~