Angels' Whispers
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Square, big mess of words belongs to Esse. Huh, for some reason, I don't think there'll be too much confusion about that... Esse makes no money, period. It's much too sad :*(
Notes: Umm, where do I start? I wrote this ::goes to look:: whaddya know? 4-4. I was working on another ficcie; only, see, I got stuck at Rinoa's bit in part one. This is what got written instead. Guess I'll try to explain what I was thinking of at the end. If you read that far. Yeesh!
Warnings: Oh, great big ones, yes Lesse, bad language (for me, at least ^_^;; it's a little more harsh than my normal 'Oh drat!'). Bad feelings all around, an upset Rinoa, and some people are a wee bit unhappy come the endif I tell any more, I'm afraid I'll give away the entire story. If you like Rinoa, I'm sorry. If you like Quistis, I'm sorry. Hnn, the heck with it, if you like any of the FF8 cast, I'm sorry. Really. I'm afraid this thing may be pushing towards an R rating. Have I warned you yet? Pretty dark ficcie, here...
As always
"Talking" ~Thinking~ *Emphasis*
"Are you okay?"
I smile at the fool. "Of course I am. Why do you ask?" Silly question. She's asking because she's a nosey little bitch who wants to take me down. ~Well, little girl, you can't trick *me* like that anymore.~ I know what she's thinking. Hell, I know what everybody's thinking. I grit my teeth. I even know what she's thinking right now, and she can damn well--stop--thinking those horrible thoughts. None of it's true!
"You just look a little tired, is all. Is everything going well between you and Squall?"
So that's it. She's going after him again; I should have known. Little Miss oh-so-understanding Blonde Trollop can't stand the fact that I won Squall fair and square. Oh, I see it in her mind now; how could he fall in love with a dark mousy creature like me? ~I'll tell you how sister, I was willing to give him anything he needs. Anything. Including his enemies' heads on pretty silver platters. Would you murder for him? Hah, didn't think so.~
"I really don't see where that's any of your business."
She reaches over and touches me; the nerve! If I wanted to be pawed over by slatterns, I could go back to my old haunts in Deling. "Rinoa, I'm only asking because I care."
She cares? Oh, there's an understatement. She cares all right, cares so much that Squall might be slipping his leash and may come running to her like some animal in rut. ~Well, have I got news for you, you four-eyed hussy. The bastard's already snuck out of our merry little home, and it wasn't your bed he tumbled into. Surprised? I sure the hell was.~
"I'm touched by your concern Quistis, but everything's perfect." ~That's it, widen your eyes in that bovine look of worry you've worked so hard on. Didn't like my tone of voice? Well bully for you, I happen to hate you as well. What's so hard to believe; that I'm not fit to make Squall happy? I'll have you know that it was perfect. Perfect boyfriend, perfect romance, everything was bloody well perfect! Do you hear me?
~Stop thinking those terrible things about me!~
"Okay." She steps back, which is a damn good thing, since I was getting ready to slap that stupid sympathizing look off her face. Perfect face. Perfect hair. Perfect little model SeeD. I loathe this place. Maybe I should burn it down? "Just, if you need to talk, about anything, you can come to me."
~Yeah, right. Sure thing. You're next on my list, right after Dear Old Dad, of people I want to pour out my heart to. But see, I can make nice, wave a pretty good-bye to you. So what, if when you turn away, it changes to a one-fingered salute? You'd find some way to explain it off. Aren't we all perfect?~
"Hey Rinoa!"
I turn around, slowly; I don't want to let him know he just scared the living daylights out of me. Zell, of course Zell, the one guy I can't read. Not at all, probably because he doesn't *have* a mind to read. But he's a good sort; I've got him twisted around my little finger. Not that that's much comfort, the little twit's scared witless of females. Heehee, and it didn't take much probing to find out his daddy whipped any feelings he might have had for boys right out of the poor kid's back. Makes him loyal to me, and safe around my Squall.
"Hi Zell." I put on my simpering girl act, and he falls into the routine as faithfully as Pavlov's dog. I can almost pity him, lost little boy, always trying to rescue those in distress, all the while seeking his own salvation. Well, I can hear his cries for help, though no one else can. I've got him tucked securely underneath my wing. ~There's no one *you'd* go running off to, is there?~ "Were you able to follow him?" Ah, how sweet, he ducks his head before he answers me. ~Go on, you can't hurt me with the news; I already know, I just need the confirmation.~
"You were right. He spent an hour in the training center, then went to Irvine's room. Stayed in there till two in the morning." Bright blue eyes look sadly at me; where did you get such ancient eyes Zell? "I'm sorry."
No, not that! I don't want sympathy; I'm strong. Stronger than this, stronger than any of them would ever understand, or give me credit for. I've got the universe running through my veins, heady and wild and burning, searing heat. ~Save your pity for yourself little one, you've earned it. And my gratitude, that too.
~What would you be thinking, if I could hear your thoughts?~
Never mind, it will wait. "There's no need to be. I suspected as much. I didn't believe that even *he* could be spending so much time training." I let my eyes melt for him; it's a small enough reward. "Thank you for telling me."
"Is--is there anything I can do?" Such earnestness, all on my behalf. Not that it's needed. My revenge will come as it will, be sure of that. It's kind of him to offer though. If his heart hadn't of already been shattered, I'd be tempted. Faithfulness, is it so much to ask? Perhaps it is; Squall certainly wasn't capable of it.
"No. This is something I need to take care of myself, I think." I pat him on his shoulder; he cringes ever so slightly. I must remember, after I get this little situation settled, and Squall is once more mine, to pay a visit to Balamb. My pet's father has a lot to answer for. I hastily control the smile which tries to escape; Zell wouldn't understand it. But I can still laugh silently. His father's going to do a lot of screaming.
"Well, okay then." He backs up. "If you need to, ya know, talk or anything"
Ah, a much more sincere offer than the blonde bimbo gave me. I bet he'd even listen. ~But you couldn't understand, not truly. You're too broken, after all.~ The offer, though, is much appreciated. "I know where to find you." Now I do allow the smile to break free. "Don't worry so much. I'm a big girl."
He grins back at me fiercely; head tilted cockily, and eyes vibrant. Maybe I'm mistaken; there's a chance he'd understand after all. No matter, I can deal with this myself. Later, when there's time, perhaps I'll take him up on that offer.
"Never doubted it for a moment. Later Rinoa."
I watch him leave, then continue my surveillance of the crowd. It's getting late, and I had hoped to settle things this evening. Then, from the corner of my eye, I spot my problem. "Irvine," I hiss under my breath, amazed that I can actually taste the bitterness which laces the name. He's talking to Selphie--big surprise there. She hangs onto him as dearly as I once held to Squall. I don't think she knows. I'll try not to be too malicious when I tell her.
There are some aspects of Balamb Garden which I do love. Such as their policy to allow weapons practically anywhere. People have gotten used to seeing me equipped with the blaster edge. I straighten the feathers of my Shooting Star; it wouldn't do for it to miss its target. Everything seems to be in order, but then, I've scarcely had a chance to use it in combat. I aim, and giggle. That's about to change in a moment.
I finger the triggering mechanism, and the Shooting Star flies off, taking with it my hopes of vengeance. It hits! Yes, I knew all those hours spent in practice would pay off. Selphie, the airhead, has just now noticed something amiss, and her mouth gapes open in the beginnings of a scream. I throw up my arm to recapture my weapon on its return. This is going entirely too well. Humph, I suspect the challenge will come shortly.
I walk across the room, stately, calm. ~Go ahead; back away from me you cowering sheep. Now do you finally see who walks among you?~ I stop a few feet away from where Irvine is kneeling in shock. Delightful. I can feel his misery, his disbelief. ~Look up at me worm, look up and see who brought you to this!~
"Rinoa?"
~Ack, why is it you questioning me Selphie? You're ruining my moment of triumph. Keep it up, and we'll see what my blaster edge meets next.~
"Rinoa?!? What the hell do you think you're doing?"
What *I'm* doing? Is she serious? I'd think it would be obvious what I'm doing. It seems I've overestimated her intelligence. And I'd thought to go easy on her. "It's just a little payback." I look back down at the tall man huddled on the floor, and allow myself a smirk. "Perhaps you'd find more answers if you asked your boyfriend what *he's* been doing."
Ha, they must train all the females to do that big-eyed confused look. Doesn't she know how stupid it makes her appear? Not that I'm going to tell her. Maybe if she'd been able to keep her swain from straying, we could have avoided this whole mess.
"Irvine?"
~It's about time you demanded some answers from him girl.~ He looks up, and I chortle gleefully as I survey the damage for the first time. His beautiful auburn locks, his pride and joy and ultimate vanity, are scattered about him. He clutches one long strand tightly. I'd aimed well; his hair is sheared off neatly, if a bit lopsidedly, at the back of his neck. His bangs, heehee, his bangs are now longer than the rest of his hair.
"SelphieI don't know" he answers her, traumatized, "she cut off my hair"
"Oh puh-lease!" The innocent act, of all things, he tries pulling. ~Don't you know I can hear your guilt? You damn well know why I've done this!~ In fury I smack the back of his head. ~I'm not crazy! I'm not! Stop thinking that, or I'll do a whole lot worse than give you a trim!~ "I'm not blind. I know where Squall was last night."
Now he pales; did he honestly believe that their little charade was fooling me? "I--I don't know what"
I slap him again, and stare at Selphie with as much sincerity as I am capable of. "I hope you use protection, because I'm sure Squall and him haven't."
Good girl, she instantly picks out my meaning. She doesn't want to believe it, who would?, but I can tell that she's wondered herself. ~What was it like for you, late at night, alone in the dark? Did you imagine him out with some other woman?~ I know that had been my first worry. Goddess, I had *prepared* myself for that; I do know Quistis, after all.
"Irvine?" Her voice is edged with anger, with incertitude, with, dare I hope? the beginnings of belief. ~Let my confidence in you not be misplaced Selphie. I want to hurt him so badly for what he's put me through, but in the end, he's yours. It's up to you to punish him for his offenses against us.~ Her thoughts are a soothing balm running through my head, easing away the ache I've grown to ignore. It seems, she too, knows the meaning of justice. By tomorrow morning, I do think young, dashing Mr. Kinneas will be mourning for more than just a few locks of missing hair.
"I can explain" he tries pleading, but it will do no good. She sees the truth as clearly as I do.
~You silly man, thinking clever words will get you out of this. You betrayed her, and that's something a woman, a strong woman, will never forgive. If you had but tried to explain to her earlier, things may have been worked out. But you snuck around her, tricked her, and that can't be dismissed so lightly.~
A new voice interrupts, one I was expecting, but not counting on. "Irvine?" Oh, the bewilderment in that voice.
~Squall, do you still think to hide this from me? How could I not notice, when it's all you've been thinking of for the past few weeks?~ I turn around to face him, and even now, after what he's done, I find my heart softening towards him. He's beautiful, dear to me, my knight. All that, oh yes, and more. He's unfaithful.
"It's over Squall," I tell him, and it's almost painful seeing the sudden hurt in those amazingly clear hazel-gray-blue eyes. I could never tell their exact color, even after studying them in photograph after photograph. "I know you're sleeping with Irvine."
"Rinoa" he whispers, reaching out one shaking hand. I can't let him do this to me. I did not want this, but he's pushing me the wrong direction. Doesn't he know his apology's useless, when I'll never be able to forgive him? I've never believed in excuses, only acceptance. I bite back a sigh of sorrow; in his heart, he'll never take responsibility for his actions.
I lean close to him, and inhale his warm scent--berries, and vanilla, and something I can't quite place. Oh wait, silly me, I know what it is now. *Irvine.* I reach into my arm brace, and look up into his face. ~Darling, this isn't how I want to remember you.~
I tuck my head underneath his chin, and wrap one arm teasingly around him. "I love you," I whisper, and so help me, I mean it. With regret, with heartbreak nearly overwhelming me, I drive the slim bit of metal between his ribs cruelly, twisting it when I reach his heart to break the blade off at the hilt. He makes a breathless, choking sort of cough, and trembles.
His eyes, those brilliant, glorious, changeable eyes, dim. I lean upwards and kiss him gently, lovingly, one more time, stealing his last breath. "You're mine," I tell him more softly yet, and allow him to slide towards the ground. He convulses once more, then stills.
I ignore the sudden panic around me; I'll be gone from here long before they realize what I've done. I shake my head, and start walking quietly towards the exit. I hadn't wanted to do it, though I had prepared for it nonetheless. Why couldn't he have just owned up to it? I know what he was planning on saying--did he truly think so little of me?
I'd sent off my bags earlier in the day. There's still time before nightfall. Perhaps I'll make that stop off in Balamb this evening. There's other scores that need settling.
I feel something warm against my cheek, and in annoyance, I brush away the tear. I have no regrets. Faithlessness can't be overlooked. Neither can the ruining of perfection. I don't think I care, now, what people think of me. Squall was *mine*. I just didn't want *him* anymore.
Author's Excuseserm, Explanationsyeah, that's it: So what *was* going on? ::shrugs:: Beats me. But I'll try to explain. Rinoa's a witch. There's no denying that. She got Edea's powers, and through Edea, she got Ultimecia's. And whomever Ultimecia may have sucked up. It only stands to reason, if you're a bad witch, you'd go hunting down good witches (and weaker bad witches, I suppose) and pound on them till they gave up their power.
Same goes with Adel. Rinoa got her powers, plus some, if my theory holds true. Now that seems like a lot of power to suddenly be dumped on someone. It'd be even worse if the power came tainted with the thoughts and feelings of whomever possessed it last. I'm assuming, for this story, that it does. So poor Rinoa had to deal with more power than she'd ever dreamt of owning, all of it, both good and evil, whispering in her mind. Which, I think, would make for a very psychotic Rinoa. And, gosh, her limit break Angel Wing causes her to go berserk. What if that doesn't completely wear off?
Now, if given time, I'm sure someone would have noticed that Rinoa wasn't exactly sane anymore. Unfortunately, Squall made his little faux pas before anyone had the chance (which is rather wretched timing on his part, hmm?). Can Rinoa really hear other people's thoughts? I don't know, and I don't know if it matters. It's certainly possible. Whether or not she can makes no difference; she *thinks* she does, and bases her actions on it. It's been at the back of my mind, the entire time I was writing this, that it was possible that *nothing* was going on between Irvine and Squall. I dunno, maybe Squall needed Irvine's help in getting Rinoa a real nifty present (something romantic, that you'd give to your love when proposing to them). Now wouldn't that just be the pits?
I'm sorry if the story's upset you; I'm sure the Squall x Irvine fans out there aren't too happy with me at the moment ^_^ I couldn't help myself--Square made sure to shove into our faces that Squall and Rinoa were a couple, and I tend to think Rinoa, even if she weren't totally off her rocker, would be a bit possessive.
Ah, I think I've rambled on enough. Hated it? Feel free to rant at me. Really hated it? Send me mail about that too. Flames will be read, wept over, replied to, read again, printed out, given to the Ogre to read, carried around in my binder for a while, read one last time, then be used as scratch paper. Praise will be given a googlied-eyed stare 0.o;; even I didn't particularly like this story