A Reckless Delivery
by MKT
A Continuation of A Reckless Snow Storm
Previously in A Reckless Snow Storm:
Late January 2005. Scene: Ric's office. Ric is at his desk shuffling through papers and files when the door suddenly bursts open and Alexis breezes in like a hurricane.
Ric: Hey, sweetie.
Alexis: I told you not to 'sweetie' me at the office. It's unprofessional.
Ric (looks left and right): There's no one here but you and me...sweetie.
Exasperated, Alexis sits down in the chair in front of Ric's desk and takes some files out of her briefcase.
Alexis: Okay, I've filed the motion to suppress in theMcBride case.
Ric (looking confused and rifling through the papers on his desk): McBride? I thought he pleaded guilty last week?
Alexis: McBride? No, I meant McDonald.
Ric (still looking confused and rifling through the papers on his desk): McDonald? Wasn't that reckless driving? There's nothing to suppress…
Alexis (flipping through her papers): No, it was breaking and entering.
Ric: Oh, you mean McDougal?
Alexis: McDonald, McDougal, what's the difference?
Ric: Well, about ten to twenty. You know, it would help if you could keep your clients' names straight.
Alexis (very curt and looking at him through the top of her glasses): Well, fine, whatever!
Ric jumps up from behind the desk and comes around to kneel in front of Alexis.
Ric: Okay, something's wrong. This is not like you. Is Sonny demanding that Kristina come live in his great big new house again?
Alexis: No. It's not that. (Pause) It's just that...I'm…I'm…um...late.
Ric (looks at his watch): Late? No, we don't need to be in court for another...(anvil smacks Ric right on the head and his jaw drops to the floor.) You're...you're...
Alexis nods her head.
Ric: When?...How?...
Ric and Alexis, in unison: THE CABIN!!!
And now, A Reckless Delivery:
Scene. Alexis and Ric continue in Ric's office.
Ric is still kneeling in front of Alexis with an incredulous look on his face. But slowly a big, wicked grin appears and Ric jumps up.
Ric: Aha! Good try! Not gonna work.
Alexis (now the one with the incredulous look on her face): What?
Ric: Yeah, almost had me there for a second.
Alexis: My turn now, what the hell are you talking about?
Ric: You're just trying to get me rattled before we go into the Pearson hearing. Well, it's not going to work. He's not getting bail. He's a flight risk…
Alexis (jumps up from her seat): This has nothing to do with the Pearson case. I really am pregnant…with your child, I might add (pokes him in the chest.)
Ric: You are so not convincing, Counselor. And I am not going to cave in on the bond.
Alexis: Pearson is not a flight risk. He is a respected accounting professional in the community…
Ric: Who just happened to embezzle a whole bunch of little old ladies' pension funds…
Alexis: 'Allegedly' embezzled…or did they not teach you that at Harvard.
Ric: Oh, yeah, that's just great, you…you…Yalie. Just admit it, you tried to pull one over on me and it didn't work.
Alexis: I will admit no such thing.
Alexis rifles through her purse. She produces a white plastic stick.
Alexis (offers the stick to Ric): Here's your proof.
Ric: What's that?
Alexis: A home pregnancy test.
Ric (refusing to touch it): No, no. You can't fool me with your little prop…
Alexis: Look at it! See? Two blue lines. Right there. Two blue lines. That means it's positive. I'm pregnant, you conceited oaf!
Ric: Oh sure, like I'd believe that. I bet you just took a blue felt tip marker and drew on it. Not your best work, Counselor. Now if you don't mind, I've got a bond hearing to go to.
Ric closes his briefcase with a flourish and heads out the door. Alexis just slumps back in her chair with an exasperated "hmmpf."
(Commercial break)
Scene. Courtroom…seven and a half months later.
Ric and Alexis are arguing a case before Judge Witherspoon.
Alexis (jumping up from behind the defense table. She is very pregnant.): Objection, your honor! The prosecution is obviously in over his head on this one and is making inflammatory remarks…
Ric (jumping up from the prosecution table): Your honor, I object to the defense attorney's assertions. She's the one ill prepared for this case….
Alexis (looking at the judge, but giving a sideways glance at Ric): Well, the District Attorney must not have paid attention in his evidentiary procedures class in law school or else he would know this exhibit is inadmissible…
Ric (looking at the judge, but giving a sideways glance at Alexis): Apparently the so-called defense attorney has not done her homework or else she'd be aware of the ruling in the State vs. Howard…
Alexis (looks directly at Ric): You are a pompous ass…
Ric (looks directly at Alexis): And you are an over-reaching, neurotic, know-it-all who…
Judge (banging his gavel forcefully): Quiet, quiet! Both of you or I will hold you both in contempt! Now, what is going on here?
Alexis gives Ric a worried look.
Ric: Your honor, if you please. I'd like to approach defense counsel.
Judge: Are you crazy? I'm not going to be party to murder!
Alexis: It's all right. I need to confer with the DA.
Judge: This is highly irregular. All right, but both of you, keep your hands where I can see them!
Ric goes to Alexis who whispers in his ear.
Ric: Uh, your honor, I would like to request an immediate recess.
Judge: Mr. Lansing, I am getting tired of all these shenanigans. You better have a good reason for this.
Ric: Yes sir, I do. My wife's in labor.
Judge: Your wife? Where is she? (Looks around the courtroom.)
Ric: Uh…right here. Defense counsel. She's my wife and she's just informed me that…well, our baby's about to be born in this courtroom if we don't get to General Hospital right away.
Judge (his turn to be incredulous): You two are married?
Ric and Alexis, in unison: Yes, your honor.
Judge: Well, thank God. With the way you two were arguing, I thought you were having an affair. Go, go! (Bangs gavel.) Court is in recess.
Ric and Alexis grab their briefcases and head out of the courtroom quickly.
(Commercial break)
Scene. The Delivery Room at General Hospital.
Dr. Meadows: Just one more push, Alexis. There we go. (Holds up the baby for Alexis and Ric to see) It's a boy!
Alexis turns to Ric who is on her left side. She grabs his collar and abruptly pulls him closer to her…
Alexis: Do you believe me now?
(Commercial break)
Scene. Alexis' hospital room. She's in the bed, holding the baby. Kristina is sitting on the bed to her right. Ric is standing to her left, gazing at his family.
Alexis: See, Kristina? Here's your little brother, the one who's not mobster-related. (Looks up at Ric.) He's beautiful. Thank you.
Ric leans over to give her a kiss.
Ric: No, thank you. Couldn't have done it without you.
Alexis: You pompous…
Ric: Ah, ah. Gotta watch your language around the kids. (Ric takes the baby in his arms and starts to rock him.) You know, we've got to give this little fella a name.
Alexis: Speaking of names, what's the deal with 'Ric' with the 'C?' Why couldn't you be like everybody else, with a 'K'?
Ric (sits back down on the edge of the bed): Well, it did used to be 'Rick,' with a 'K' – or, rather, – 'Ricky…'
Alexis (slight chuckle): 'Ricky…'
Ric: Yes, 'Ricky,' around my school friends, anyway. With Trevor, of course, it was always (with an affected, aristocratic tone) 'Richard.'
Alexis: So where'd the 'K' go?
Ric: Well, when I was about thirteen, I was going through an old box of papers I had found in the attic – I had cracked my hockey stick and I remembered that my father had a few old ones up in the attic. And while looking around, I opened this box full of papers and on top was this fancy parchment looking birth certificate. It wasn't the official one the state issues. It was like a special one given as a keepsake to mothers in the hospital. So I look at this paper with its fancy curly-cue typeface and on the line above where it says, 'baby's name,' I see this beautiful, graceful woman's handwriting. And it says 'Ricardo Carlos Lansing.'
(Ric pauses for a moment, looking at the baby in his arms and then at his wife and daughter.)
Ric: I found out years later that Adel – my mother – named me after her brother who had died from some childhood illness back in Cuba.
(He takes a big breath and continues.)
Ric: Anyway, I bring the paper to my father and my stepmother saying, 'how come you never told me my name was Ricardo? Why is everyone calling me Richard?' And my stepmother – ever the blueblood -- says, 'oh, don't be ridiculous! I couldn't possibly raise a child named Ricardo' – god, she said it as if it were a dirty word or something. She was the one who had my father change the name on my official birth certificate to Richard Charles Lansing. But, on that day, when I was thirteen, when I found out I was really 'Ricardo,' that's the day I became 'Ric,' no 'K.'
(Ric closes his tear-laden eyes and brings his face down to kiss the sleeping newborn in his arms. Ric looks at Alexis whose own tears are streaking her face.)
Ric: So, that's why there's no 'K'. (Clears his throat.) Now, what are we going to call this little guy?
Alexis (sheepishly, through the tears): You know, I kinda like Richard.
A smiling Ric hands the baby back to Alexis.
Ric: Here, back to your mama, Richard Charles Lansing…
Alexis (finishing it for him): Junior.
End of scene.