Prologue
A portrait of the damned through the devil's perspective.
I don't own Naruto. Plain and simple.
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The Portrait-
It was the eyes that got me. They were so angry. So passionately hateful towards the world. The exact opposite of his icy demeanor. They were captivating.
He wasn't handsome. He was pretty – borderline beautiful. Out in the elements he was ethereal. Blue-black hair, dark eyes framed by thick lashes. Pale skin that made the scars on his wrists stand out even more. The scars that no one notices, or rather, no one wanted to notice.
People didn't want their image of perfection to shatter. There were cracks there before I came into the picture. They made excuses for him. Molded him into their view of perfection. Lifted him onto the pedestal and worshiped him as a god.
He was a rebellious child in a sense. The crowd were the parents that wanted him to try hard. Fall in love with a nice girl. Settle down and marry then have two and a half kids. All with a cushy job to fall back on. He did everything he could not to reach their standards. It was still all about him.
Everything he did wrong. Every time he stepped off the pedestal. Tripped and fell to the crowd's feet. They stood him up and brushed him off. Sitting him back on his big gilt throne, carved by his own achievements.
He got attention up there, like fine art in a museum. Everyone tried to understand him in a way that suited their tastes.
Coveted. Adored. Worshiped. A false idol for Sunday church go-ers.
All the dust brushed off him was swept under the rug in his palace of bullshit. That rug was rather bulky, anyone who wanted to see it could realize that the shit was going to hit the fan. When that happened he was going to run while his jailers ducked for cover.
The pandemonium wasn't going to make it easy. Most paths would be difficult to follow. The chaos would subside before he made it to the doors of his gilded cell. If he got caught nothing would change except the rug.
He got attention up there, sitting alone, above everyone else. But he never got noticed. Sometimes I wonder who had it worse.
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The Devil's speaks-
I suppose life, no matter what you do with it, should at the end of the day be something you can say "I did that. I'm proud of it!"
Life for me… I don't know. I think I'm proud of parts of it. But for the most, I don't think anyone would be proud of it. I know I'm not.
I think maybe I'll explain. You see it's like this.
I started out fine, it'd be presumptuous to say perfect, but I think I was maybe pretty close. People where attracted to me for all the right reasons. I can't pinpoint one exact spot in time and say that's where it all went wrong, it was a kind of gradual thing. Like a temple crumbling. Heh! Temple. My body is anything but now. Even though I regret my choices, or maybe it's because I regret my choices, I remember it all perfectly. I remember them perfectly. I remember him perfectly. I wish I couldn't.
Five am. The numbers are just sitting there. Flashing its red gaze out towards me. Mocking me. I should be asleep. But I'm not. I'm sitting here finishing the homework due in next week. I'll sleep later. I'll have time later.
Eight am. I think I fell asleep. I have to get ready for school now. I can do so much with my hair, but then I'd look more effeminate than the girls I know. So it gets spiked up. At the back. Just the back. Uniform on, uniform breakfast and then I'm out the door.
Finding a clique comes easy to me. I meet people. I make an impression on people. My family is well off. I'm well off. My friends are well off. I wish we weren't. School comes easy to me as well. My parents made sure of it. I can't be otherwise. It's just not allowed. And apparently I don't want to either.
I had to lie on my vocational aptitude test. I had to pretend to care. No one knows this. They aren't allowed to.
I'm sacrificing me to myself. I won't last much longer, but I'll live forever. Immortal. Watching everyone I love die. I don't have anyone to watch.
One pm. Surrounded. Talking. Laughing. But I don't care. I can't bring myself to care. I think I'm lonely. It doesn't make sense. I don't want for company. I need to get away. You wouldn't understand. I can't tell you why. No one is allowed to know.
I'm at the toilets. I saw him today. You don't get it. I knew you wouldn't. I'm sitting here, surrounded by everything that I am. Everything that I shouldn't be. I know I shouldn't.
I'm back out in the rat race. Like a rat in a maze. My life. I can't seem to find the cheese at the finish. I'm avoiding him. I don't want to see him today. I can't face him today. He scares me. But he pisses off my brother. I think that's why I associate with him. He still scares me though.
The car. Home. Unnecessary extravagance. It would be beautiful if it weren't so hideous. It's my family to a 't'. Hideously beautiful. I can't stand it. I live it. I hate it. I want to fire all the staff and ruin the place. Make them deal with the mess. Make them notice the mess. Make them notice me.
Why don't they notice me?