Spoilers: Through the beginning of Season 5.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my inspiration.
Author's Note: It's an angsty little piece, don't say I didn't warn ya. Thanks to Lisa for beta-ing.
Ryan stood on Horatio's left in his tux. They watched the doors and waited for them to open and let the most beautiful girl in the world walk through.
At the reception, Ryan watched from a distance. They announced the arrival of "Mr. and Mrs. Eric Delko" and he downed the beer in his hand. He put on a grin and acted like it was one of the best days of his life – the day the girl he loved with all his heart married his best friend.
If he was honest with himself, in the back of his mind Ryan had always known he didn't have a shot - but one couldn't blame a guy for hoping, right?
Ryan watched the first dance but couldn't make it through another. He walked out back to get some air and nurse his second beer.
He remembered the first time they had danced like it was yesterday. For all he had known they were dancing in the clouds. Ryan had longed to hold her for so long; he wasn't picky about the circumstance. The feel of her in his arms… he had walked on air for a week.
Then she asked him out for drinks. He thought he had his chance only to find out she just wanted to be friends. But Ryan wasn't convinced of defeat just yet. He had all the time in the world - or so he had thought.
After that they had fallen into a routine. It wasn't always the same night, but it was at least once a week. He'd tell her funny stories from his days as a patrol cop. She'd fill the air with tales of her childhood in Louisiana and her early years of being a C.S.I. in cotton country. They'd talk about everything but the cases that currently filled their days. It was a much needed break from the horrors they witnessed day in and day out.
When he finally worked up his nerve to ask her out on a real date, he found out from Eric that she was with Jake. It was an added insult to injury. Of all the cops, she picked Jake?
He thought it was bad coming in second to Jake. It wasn't until a couple months later that he found out what was worse.
The truth was that he tried, but he couldn't make her love him.
Later, after the bouquet had been tossed and the garter had been thrown, Ryan watched them drive away in a car covered with shaving cream among other things. Most of the guests had left but some still remained. Free booze was free booze after all.
Ryan returned to the bar and Natalia took the stool beside him. She ordered a drink, but neither said anything for a while.
She was playing with the stem of the empty glass when she finally spoke. "It was a beautiful wedding," she said quietly with a hint of hoarseness and red eyes.
"It was," Ryan conceded.
That was all he knew to say.