I Love You I Just Can't Tell You
Lenalee's point of view of Allen:
How does Allen not realise I'm there for him so is everyone else, but I'm the one who's always got his back. I want to be there to protect the family I've gained over the years since I was dragged off to the Order although I've never had feelings like this for anyone. He's the one I love most in the entire world I know my brother would kill Allen if he ever knew my feelings for him, so I keep it to myself and look after him so he'll never be taken from me and that I tried my best if I die protecting him.
I walk past him nearly every day when he's in the Order or I'm always on his team for the missions we're sent on, I always get that grin from him the one he only gives to me the one I love. Although I must admit he's always there for me whenever he sees me in trouble, he puts my life before his own so I don't know if he feels the same way about me as I do for him. Allen has saved my life quite a lot of times although I guess that's because of how many times I've saved his I'm so confused if he does have feelings for me.
I feel so alone as I can't tell anyone as they'd probably tell my big brother or Allen and I don't want either to know till I'm ready to tell Allen. Although I don't know when I'll be ready to tell Allen that I love him like confessing your love to someone is really difficult even though I haven't tried before but I just feel so sick when I want to tell him, so I'm going to give it time even though I don't know when he may be taken from me or when I'll be taken from this world. I wish he knew my feelings for him so it wouldn't be this difficult to tell him.
Looks like Allen has another nightmare, he's tossing and turning again I wonder what is going on in his head that makes him toss and turn basically every night. I just look at him and listen to what mumbles come out of his mouth; I can try and picture his nightmare. Every night I hear him say Mana, I'm curious about whom this person is and if he's important to Allen. I've never asked him about Mana because it could be very personal and I wouldn't like to upset Allen by mentioning it. But I guess in the future I will ask Allen about Mana and who he is to him.
After so long of looking at Allen I drift off to sleep with the thoughts I love you Allen in my head, I truly love him I'd do anything for him.
Allen's point of view of Lenalee:
I love her I must admit that but I'm too scared to tell her because Komui would kill me as he's so god damn protective of her, but he does have his reasons for that. I know that she's protected me more then I have for her, but I'm repaying her by protecting her to but I just don't find that's enough. Lenalee is always saving my ass because I'm just not fast enough. Although my innocence is growing and getting stronger and everyday it does the more confident I am of protecting her.
I think it is kind of obvious that I like Lenalee although I don't think she knows that I like her, but I'm scared of telling her in case she rejects me. I haven't told anyone not even Lavi and we are pretty close, no one knows except for me and my heart. I wish I wasn't alone and that I could tell someone how I feel about Lenalee, I wish I had someone that I could tell everything to my past, my present and the future that I want; I wish I could tell someone everything and that they wouldn't tell a soul.
I wake up every now and then to check on Lenalee to make sure she's still there and that she hasn't been taken from me by an akuma or a member of the Noah family, she means so much to me I wouldn't be able to live without her. I don't know what I would do if Lenalee was taken from me, she means so much to me, I would die for her. I guess I'll promise myself to saving her and looking after her when she's in trouble then, it's less likely for her to be taken from me.
I know her childhood but she doesn't know mine and I'm wondering when I should tell her about mine, about Mana and what I did to him. I'm just kind of scared of telling her, in case she has a different point of view on me then although I missed him so much, he was the only one who cared about me. My past is something that I treasure because of who I met and who I became and all the friends I met and lost, they mean a lot to me and I can't just simply erase it for anybody not even myself, the bits of my past that I hate I wish I could erase it all but I can't. So I must live with my mistakes and the pain I got from losing so many people that I cared about to the Earl.
I'll tell her one of these days because that's what people in love do, they tell the ones they love their past so they can understand their feelings and where the person's pain comes from. I'm so nervous to tell Lenalee that I love her and no one else.
A/N In all honestly I found writing Allen's feelings about Lenalee really hard as the 4th paragraph for him is so of topic but it does kind of make sense I think. Well I hoped you liked this fanfic took a while for me to complete because of Allen but I got there. Please review. ^_^