Callie pov

I look up and see Arizona looking at me through the glass. The look on her face tells me she saw everything. I am frozen in my spot do I talk to her if I do what do I say. After my internal battle I decide to just turn and walk to the trauma I was called in for. The next day I have my weekly therapy session. Both Arizona and I decided we would continue individually to help us communicate for Sofia's sake.

So I went on a date last night. "How did it go" the therapist ask. It was ok I guess I got called back to the hospital for an emergency so we had to cut it short. She walked me into the hospital and kissed me.

"Ok how did that make you feel?"

Good I guess it was nice to feel wanted but then Arizona saw us.

"So you two are done you ended it, why would it matter that she saw you?"

It doesn't I guess but the look on her face she just looked so devastated. What if she still loves me?

"Why would you think she doesn't?"

Come on you were in those session you heard everything she cheated on me. Who does that if you are still in love with some one.

"Callie people cheat for lots of reasons lack of love usually isn't the problem. "

So what are you saying I'm the problem.

" No that is not what I said. Lack of love is not the problem. You are right I heard everything. you too love each other more than most couples I deal with but you don't trust each other. You told me that Arizona begged you not to cut off her leg to not give up on her but you had no choice but to do that to save her life. She felt that by you taking her leg you gave up on her and your relationship."

I didn't though I gave us the only shoot at a future at least that's what I thought.

"Did you really think that?"

Of course why would you even ask that.

"I don't know you tell me?"

I am not sure what you are getting at.

" Ever since then you told me things have been strained in your relationship correct?"

Yes because she blamed me.

"Did she blame you or did she just feel like you gave up on her?"

I never gave up on her I kept pushing her to get back to her old self the person I fell in love with.

"But that just it Callie she is not that person anymore and nothing you can do can bring her back. She experienced a life changing lost. She needed time to grieve that and come to terms with who she was now. She needed to feel good about her self again and feel beautiful in her own skin. The leg is not the problem how she feels about herself and how you make her feel is the real issue."

So I made her feel worse about herself by loving her too much.

"Callie you are not listening to me. I am not blaming you I think you have a lot of guilt inside and you are projecting that."

What would I have to feel guilty about I was not the one that cheated.

"This is not about the cheating I think you feel guilty about letting her down about feeling like you were not good enough doctor to save her leg and maybe feeling guilty that if you just went to Boise when they were found you might have been able to save the leg. So ever since you made that call you have been trying to fix everything including Arizona and somewhere along the lines you stopped listening to what she was telling you she needed from you."

I made the right call she would have died and I could not let that happen.

"I understand no one thinks you made the wrong call."

Arizona does she continues to blame me.

"She may have at one time but I don't think she does now. I think she needed to grieve but she felt she couldn't because she was so afraid of losing you that she put on a happy face and pushed through to be the wife you wanted her to be, her old happy self. You can only do that for so long until it blows up and it did. After the miscarriage you escaped to work and she slowly imploded. You both felt like you couldn't grieve together because you were both so afraid of not being enough anymore but you see by not communicating no matter how hard and painful it would be you both actually created the path you were trying so hard to avoid. Well I hate to do this but our time is up. We can continue again next week."

Can I maybe have an extra session this week? I would really like to keep talking about this and a week seems to long. Is Arizona coming in today?

"Callie you know I can't talk about my session with Arizona."

I know, I know I just want to be sure she is ok.

" Callie I can promise you this no matter what happens from here on out Arizona will be just fine."