A/N: Here's a somewhat sad ficlet I wrote because I was feeling kind of down. I hope you all enjoy. Please R/R.
I stand here and watch him as he looks at her with expecting eyes. He says her name and I remember the countless times he called out my name in the same manner.
I once was the love of his life, and now I stand here waiting for her to make a decision. How did that happen?
One night, he's down on one knee and looking up at me with those enchanting blue eyes of his. The night had been as perfect as it could be; the moon shone brightly, every star visible in the sky, the cool breeze softly blowing through our hair. That was the night I promised to give him my heart and soul. That was the night I could see our wedding day, and see myself bearing his children. That was the night I pictured us growing old together.
Looking back at it now, the joy that overcame me then is heart wrenching because now, now he is looking at her the way he looked at me, hoping she will make the right choice; him.
Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing here.
I know he doesn't love me the way he used to, I know he will never see me the same after what has happened, but still I stay by his side because I can't bring myself to end it. I just can't bring myself to give up eleven years of marriage.
That's eleven years of laughter, eleven years of heartache, eleven years of holidays, birthdays, and family gatherings.
How could anyone be willing to give that up? How does Derek do it? Whenever he's with her, it seems like whatever we had disappears from his mind as if they never existed, as if I never existed.
As these thoughts run through my mind, I feel the sadness sweeping over me and a tear falls down my cheek. I quickly bring my hand up and wipe it away before anyone notices.
I continue to watch her as she looks back and forth from Finn to Derek, and I see that she's torn; not knowing what to do, not knowing who to choose.
I can't seem to read her. I can't even begin to predict what her choice might be.
These last few minutes have felt like an eternity, and I can't bear to watch anymore. I can't watch as another woman gets to choose my husband and I can't watch the love of my life getting his heart broken. Presently, I truly don't know which would be worse.
I turn and walk out of the Seattle Grace doors and I head back to the trailer, which I have only recently begun to call home. I will sit there and think about the night's events and what they might bring. I will wish and dream for a better future for all of us, but I will not pack, I will not sign the papers, for if there is hope I will stay and fight because I love him and it's what I do.