Disclaimer: Not Mine...Just playing
A/N A not really prequel to A File Mark Goren and Eames. Just musings about what happened after In the Wee Small Hours. Hope you enjoy.
At a bench across the street from the courthouse, Detective Alexandra Eames sat watching the fountain dance in front of her. The continuously moving water caused a cacophony of thoughts concerning the last two hours to enter her mind. She was disappointed in herself to say the least. Taking a long sip of her street vendor bought coffee, she tries to let the notoriously bad liquid numb her from the harshness of her thoughts. She knew she should have told Bobby about the letter, but in truth for the most part she had forgotten about it. Currently, well at least prior to this after noon, their partnership was something that gave her a sense of self worth and accomplishment that she had been looking for her whole life. Although to the normal person, gruesome crime scenes, uncooperative witnesses, and often aggressive suspects that made up her work may not seem a most perfect way to live. But to her it was. Being one half of the best crime team in the city was very fulfilling, and part of that fulfillment came because the other half of the partnership was one Robert Goren. Thinking of the harsh words she wrote and their impact she shudders. Nothing like that now ever clouds her judgment for her partner. She meant what she said in her rebuttal, he is an acquired taste. But more than that is the fact that she alone had acquired that taste, and in doing so she couldn't even begin to think of what being a detective was like before being partnered with him. Inside she knows that he isn't angry with her, but she was saddened to see that his expression in the courthouse wasn't one of anger or hurt, but of expectance. Like he had known all along that she wanted to leave him. Blowing her bangs out her eye she dwelled on that thought "He's still that little boy waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for the little stability that he has to dissipate." She wonders what she could do to alleviate that fear.
Turning to throw her coffee out, she scans across the road to steps of the courthouse and sees Barek and Logan leaving, laughing with one another. Logan jabs at Barek with his shoulder, and they smile at each other. Their partnership seems to be coming together quickly. Alex is envious of the ease that they have between them, but she wouldn't trade her five years with Bobby for anything. It may have taken longer for them to grow comfortable with each other, but the slow steps they took only allowed for their connections to each other to grow stronger. It has allowed them to communicate with just a glance to each other. To speak to each other without ever having to use their voices, and to her it always felt like magic. They are in sink every step of the way. There is nothing unsaid between them, except for right now. Although she seems to be the only one thinking that there is an issue. "I am an acquired taste. I'm luck you withdrew your letter" When she approached him to apologize his response was genuine, he even gave her his little boy smile, the one that he saves just for her, but something still feels off. Something was left hanging in the air between them. She turned back to the fountain to wrap her mind around what it might be. She tries to imagine how the next conversation she has with him. She'll apologize again, and he'll wave her off saying that it was years ago. And that will be it, but it won't they'll still be that palpable tension between them, the trust issue. She knows that part of that tension is due to the invisible line that they have drawn in the sand. And for this to be really resolved between them its time to blur that line. In doing so in opening that can of worms and nothing is ever going to be the same. Everything will change and she's not sure if he's ready for it. But she needs to let him know that she is. Because the only way for him to understand that she really isn't going to leave is to make that final level of commitment.
She is so deep in thought she doesn't feel the large figure sit down directly behind her on the other side of the bench that faces the courthouse. So she jumps a minute when a something lands in her lap. Looking down she sees the penny.
"For your thoughts." The extremely familiar soft voice says from behind her.
A smile plays at her lips before she responds. "If you can't read my thoughts anymore. Its gonna cost you a lot more this."
"Eames don't do this to yourself. I'm really not mad." His honest voice drifts from behind her.
"So you have been profiling me." She leans her head back so some part of her has contact with him.
"For almost six years now".
She can hear the smile in his voice and she swings her legs around the side of the bench so she can see his face.
"Figure out anything good?"
He copies her posture so they are side by side. "I can piss you off better than anyone."
She raises an eyebrow at him. "I'm still here aren't I."
"Apparently, only barely.."
She sucked in a cold breath of air as his words hit her in the gut.
"I knew that you were bothered, you blew me off in there."
"C'mon you knew that I needed to wrap my head around it. You also know that I do realize that it was over five years ago, and it doesn't stand for anything now."
"It stung a little though?" She stared him down now.
"Yeah, it did, I was surprised by how much it did"
"You heard my response to Carver's cross though right. Did that sink in?"
He patted her leg and nodded, "Very much so, thank you"
"So…"
"There's something still not right?"
"There's tension here, and I just don't want to go our separate ways today until it resolved" she shivers as the wind begins to pick up and looks to him.
He nods at her in agreement and stands up. Turning to her he offers her a hand. She accepts. "I think it best we have this next conversation in private"
As she stands up she nods in agreement with him. He has already taken his jacket off and offers it to her to slip into it. She looks up at him in thanks and he grins back at her.
Across the street A.D. A. Ron Carver, and Captain James Deakins watch friendly exchange between the partners.
"Think they'll be okay" Carver asks?
"I'll think they're just fine" Jimmy smiles at them.
As they watch Goren place his hand on the small of Eames back to guide her through the passing crowds Carver raises an eyebrow to Deakins. "Something we need to worry about?"
"I feel it has been there for awhile, they just haven't seen it yet, but today might have done something about that." He anticipates Carver next line of thoughts and holds up his hand to continue. "However, as long as I don't see any interference in their work, Don't ask, Don't tell right."
Carver nods his head in agreement.
They enter his apartment with two trays of pizza in tow. He puts them on the coffee table and enters the kitchen to get some dishes, napkins, and drinks. She makes her way to the bathroom to wash up. She opens the closet and grabbed the bag of spare clothes she usually kept there. Deciding on a pair of jeans and a long sleeved NYU t-shirt, she dresses and walks back into the living room. She leans her right side against the wall to just watch him move about, she felt the now familiar fluttering in her stomach that has been apparent every time she has walked into 10 feet of him for the last five years. Almost on instinct he looks over to her and smiles and gestures for her to join him to eat.
She sits next to him on the couch as they watch the news and enjoy the pizza. Small talk flows freely between them, and they are content to continue like this for a while. She has decided to wait for the cue from him, and is surprised when he says.
"I feel like something big is about to happen here." He gestures with his hand between them. "I'm not sure if its good or bad, but I guess its necessary."
She turns her head to look at him. He is visibly nervous, and she enjoys that she has the upper hand here. She pats his leg to comfort him.
He continues "First off, I have to say that I am so sorry that they did that to you. I didn't realize how apparent it was to everyone else how much you mean to me. It was clear from the stunt they pulled with my Mom that they had decided I was their main target. And they were going to use everything they had to discredit me."
"Bobby you know it hurt me too right, to have to disclose the contents of that letter to you in a courtroom with our collagues present. To let them believe that about you and me, that I wasn't happy, that I think your methods are lunacy."
"People believe that anyways. That didn't bother me much."
"It bothers me, because what everybody thinks that they know about us is wrong." She struggles with finishing this sentence. Hesitation over comes her and she looks at him for reassurance to continue. He settles his eyes on her prodding her to continue.
"Its common knowledge around the office, that I'm your pillar" she looks at him to make sure this isn't new information for him. He nods easily at her. "They seem to think I keep you grounded, I bring you back when you've gone too far, understand you, the partner who stayed. And to a point I agree with them. I accept my role in this partnership. I am the side kick"
"Eames, I never."
"Not you. Let me finish. I'm not even concerned if they do think of me as that role. I enjoy letting them think I play second fiddle. They don't get the extent of what our partnership is. I enjoy letting people try to figure us out. It buffers us from everything else. We can do our jobs better this way. And most importantly is that I know that you understand my role in your work. And I know this because of the value and trust that you place in me. What does bother me is that you don't know exactly what this partnership means to me. I know what's eating at you most, now that you know I intended to leave. You need to hear why I did stay. Otherwise you'll keep on thinking that any minute I am going to walk out of your life."
Silence. Bobby looked in amazement at the women who has shared most of his life in the past six years. It startles him how she gets in his head far better than he has ever gotten into any suspect.
"Professionally being in this partnership with you has been the most fulfilling work experience of my life. Aside from our near perfect record, working with you has taught me so much. I'm getting better as I get older, smarter, my skills are more in tune, and I'm learning how to profile more instinctively." She gestures wildly with her hands, and he smiles at her passion for this conversation.
"And personally, Bobby you have been my greatest source of comfort in the last five years. Once all awkwardness of the first year that led to my now infamous letter ended, you have just spoiled me rotten. Sure, the 3AM phone calls to chase a lead, or the dangling me like a piece of meat in front of some psycho, not withstanding. But, you take all the blame on a case when it goes wrong. You take all of the burden, and most of the paperwork. And you have opened my eyes to everything. Filled me with more knowledge than I have ever dreamed to know. Taken on Carver when I was wrong. Given me the chance to take the lead on each and every case. And when I was overly needy the year I surrogated for my sister, you went above and beyond any partner to make sure that I was okay. You have become my best friend."
"And now after the events of today I think that what you must know more than any thing else is that as much as you think I'm necessary in your life to help you do your job. Bobby I need you and trust you just as much…in all aspects of a true partnership. I'm not going anywhere."
His gut dropped and he really looked at her. The impact of her words settled in him and his heart exploded. In an instance one hand slid around her waist and pulled her to him, the other graced her cheek as he brought his lips to hers.
And in that fraction of a second everything about Goren and Eames ended.
And everything about Bobby and Alex began.
Pulling back a little he searched her eyes to make sure he didn't misunderstand her message. She smiled up at him and pulled him back down to her. "Stop analyzing, this is really happening." She felt his smile at her lips as he leaned in to kiss her again.