Title: Blue Diamonds
Rating: PG
Summary: Shortly after Satine's death, Zidler reflects about the state of the Moulin Rouge without Satine.
Disclaimer: Everything is the property of the wonderful Baz. Feedback is greatly appreciated!
She is gone. She is gone. I keep repeating those three words to myself, but it still doesn't seem possible. It can't be true; my little sparrow cannot truly be gone forever. But she is. I attended her funeral, saw her casket lowered into the wet earth, saw the energy and life force of the Moulin Rouge sink down into the ground with her.
The Moulin Rouge is also dying. We press on, keep the music loud and the singing louder, but even my diamond dogs cannot drown out the looming silence that was born when Satine took her last breath. It is like an echo of its former self, a wavering reflection in the water. Of course, I don't let on that I'm sad and worried. I continue to comb my mustache into a smile and pinch my girls' cheeks and pretend that everything is all right, that everything will be all right. Honestly, I cannot say right now if that is true.
Christian. Words cannot begin to describe the anguish that Christian is feeling, and my heart goes out to him, for he is suffering the most out of all of us. He knew her such a short time, but he knew her fully and completely in a way that even I did not. Marie and I, essentially Satine's mother and father in the underworld, are suffering too. Marie does not easily share her feelings and is keeping most of her grief to herself, but after knowing her for as long as I have, I can tell that she misses Satine dearly. Who doesn't? Who couldn't miss that beautiful, vibrant, wonderful woman?
I witnessed something yesterday that broke my heart even more so than it has already been broken. Marie just finished a new costume for Satine that she'd been working on in secret for months. She was so excited about surprising Satine with the costume. It's a beautiful costume but hard to look at, for I know Satine would have loved it and will never have the chance to wear it. It's a satin teddy lined in faux fur with matching hose and a sheer, sparkling train. And the color of this costume, you ask? Blue, blue, blue, all blue.
I have in my apartment a necklace that I was going to bestow on my little gosling to wear with her new costume. It's diamond, of course, the rarest kind of diamond: blue. I have not been able to look at this necklace since Satine's death because of what each dangling, sparkling diamond looks like to me: tears. The blue diamonds look just like the tears that have been rolling down the faces of every single person at the Moulin Rouge since Satine's death.
Rating: PG
Summary: Shortly after Satine's death, Zidler reflects about the state of the Moulin Rouge without Satine.
Disclaimer: Everything is the property of the wonderful Baz. Feedback is greatly appreciated!
She is gone. She is gone. I keep repeating those three words to myself, but it still doesn't seem possible. It can't be true; my little sparrow cannot truly be gone forever. But she is. I attended her funeral, saw her casket lowered into the wet earth, saw the energy and life force of the Moulin Rouge sink down into the ground with her.
The Moulin Rouge is also dying. We press on, keep the music loud and the singing louder, but even my diamond dogs cannot drown out the looming silence that was born when Satine took her last breath. It is like an echo of its former self, a wavering reflection in the water. Of course, I don't let on that I'm sad and worried. I continue to comb my mustache into a smile and pinch my girls' cheeks and pretend that everything is all right, that everything will be all right. Honestly, I cannot say right now if that is true.
Christian. Words cannot begin to describe the anguish that Christian is feeling, and my heart goes out to him, for he is suffering the most out of all of us. He knew her such a short time, but he knew her fully and completely in a way that even I did not. Marie and I, essentially Satine's mother and father in the underworld, are suffering too. Marie does not easily share her feelings and is keeping most of her grief to herself, but after knowing her for as long as I have, I can tell that she misses Satine dearly. Who doesn't? Who couldn't miss that beautiful, vibrant, wonderful woman?
I witnessed something yesterday that broke my heart even more so than it has already been broken. Marie just finished a new costume for Satine that she'd been working on in secret for months. She was so excited about surprising Satine with the costume. It's a beautiful costume but hard to look at, for I know Satine would have loved it and will never have the chance to wear it. It's a satin teddy lined in faux fur with matching hose and a sheer, sparkling train. And the color of this costume, you ask? Blue, blue, blue, all blue.
I have in my apartment a necklace that I was going to bestow on my little gosling to wear with her new costume. It's diamond, of course, the rarest kind of diamond: blue. I have not been able to look at this necklace since Satine's death because of what each dangling, sparkling diamond looks like to me: tears. The blue diamonds look just like the tears that have been rolling down the faces of every single person at the Moulin Rouge since Satine's death.