Secrets That Heal Chapter 1: Reflecting Feelings, a twilight fanfic

Story Name: Secrets that Heal

Chapter Name: Reflecting Feelings

Summary: Sequel to 'Secrets that Kill.' Bella and Edward are still battling through their pasts and trying to grasp the loss of their dear sister and friend, Rose. What will happen when they are both thrust into the world of parenthood? Will they survive? And what surprises are in store for them? Will they be able to handle their emotions, thoughts and relapses with a baby on the way? *better than it sounds.*

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters. I just own the plot of this story.

Ages:

Bella – 17

Edward – 17

Emmett – 18

Rosalie – 17

Jasper – 17

Alice – 16

Charlie – 43

Carlisle – 36

Esme - 35

Families:

Swans;

Bella

Charlie

Cullen's;

Carlisle

Esme

Emmett (oldest of the bunch)

Rosalie & Jasper (twins, the next in the family)

Edward (adopted in the family 3 years after the twins were born)

Alice (the youngest of the bunch)

(All of them are Carlisle and Esme's real children apart from Edward)

4 months pregnant

Bella Swan

I smiled at Edward as I lifted my head out of the baby book I was reading, and watched him as he walked from the door with a parcel in his hand.

"Another present?" I asked, rolling my eyes as he set the box down beside me.

He grinned as he took a seat. "Yup. Probably one from 'Aunt Alice'," He murmured, pointing out the fuzzy baby stickers on the outside of the box.

I shook my head with a small grin as I pulled the box towards me and opened it with a little help from Edward. I slid the gift out which was neatly wrapped in light yellow tissue paper. "Alice is going way overboard with the whole thing..." I grumbled unhappily as I slowly unfolded the tissue.

Edward smiled, disposing the box and then peering at the gift. "Alice will be Alice. After everything she's just excited to focus on something new. It is her first time being an Auntie…"

I rolled my eyes as I stared down at the petite outfits in front of me. "Yup, and your sister isn't afraid to tell everyone that. These outfits are so pretty though." I whispered.

Edward took the 3 outfits from me – examining them with a soft smile. All 3 of them were a soft, cream color with various patterns. One had a giraffe saying "One day I'll be as tall as my daddy." Another had a small girl on it with the words, "If you think I'm pretty, wait till you see my mom." And the final one had a row of cute, cartoon jungle animals across the center. They were all very cute and I was suddenly thankful for the support we were getting.

Esme, Carlisle and Charlie had put some money together to buy Edward and I a small 2 bedroom house in Port Angeles. Small because I had complained that they simply couldn't buy us a house. I wouldn't have minded staying with Charlie or at the Cullen's. I kind of felt a little sad that we were away from the rest of the family.

Carlisle and Esme had managed to talk to the school and we were sent tests and finals over the internet and through mail to complete. Online tutors were available for the both of us too and we were able to talk to the teachers and students back in Forks for any help we needed. For the major tests, we would have to go back to Forks.

We'd been living in the house together for 3 months, and everyday I was starting to get a lit bit more comfortable. Edward was working on the 2nd bedroom and was turning it – very slowly but carefully – into a nursery for our unborn baby.

After the funeral, we'd gone home to the Cullen's for a small celebration of Rose's life by watching old video clips of her as a child. I'd finally worked up the courage to tell everyone that Edward and I were having a baby. They'd reacted a lot better than I'd expected them to, and it seemed that the baby was a big distraction from the event that had occurred. Of course, that didn't mean we had forgotten Rose. She was in our thoughts everyday.

The following day after the funeral, Carlisle and Esme took me to the hospital whilst Charlie was at work to see how the baby was doing. We found out that I had been a month pregnant. It didn't surprise me too much. I had guessed right.

So now, here we were, gathered around our small kitchen table sorting through another of Alice's packages. She'd sent almost 15 over the last 3 months. I was 4 months pregnant and everything was going good. The rest of the family were planning on coming up on my 5th month – hoping to find out the gender.

All of the family had had a massive discussion about this. Charlie, Esme, Alice, Jasper and Edward were convinced the baby was a girl. Carlisle, Emmett, and I were convinced it was a boy. The conversation had stirred up many battles.

"Love?" Edward murmured softly, brushing the hair from my face. "Are you alright?"

I nodded, rubbing soothing circles over the small bump that had appeared a few weeks ago. "I'm fine. I was just thinking about all that has happened over the last few months. It's truly frightening."

He smiled and walked off to the kitchen to raid the fridge. "It's gone frighteningly fast." I could hear the smirk in his voice. "Imagine it, huh? Me and you – parents."

I shook my head and tried not to cringe at the fact. Edward and I had a serious discussion about the future and our baby. We'd settled down the week of the funeral and talked about our plans. Edward was afraid that I wanted to abort the baby but I assured him that that was my last resort. I could never kill an innocent child like that.

We'd also discussed the 'message' that had come from this. I was afraid to tell Edward what I'd been thinking, but he'd taken my words seriously and calmly. I thought that this was a message from God. I'd found out I was pregnant just days before Rose passed away. Did that count for something?

Someone lives, and someone dies.

I shivered and got up from the table. "It's just really weird. I'd never think we'd be parents – and so soon."

Edward turned from the fridge – a cherry inches from his mouth. "Well, you better start believing it because that little nudger will be here in 5 months." He approached me slowly and rested a cool hand on my stomach.

I smiled at the thought of him touching my baby – our baby. "You're going to be a great daddy, you know that? He's going to love you a lot."

He bent down and kissed my bulging belly before straightening back up to kiss me. "And you're going to be a great mommy. She is going to love you."

I found it amusing that we didn't agree on the baby's sex. It didn't worry me though – I knew we would both love him or her, no matter the gender.

"Do you want to come to the store with me?" He asked quietly, his eyes traveling to my bump. "You don't have to. I know you don't like the looks."

"What are you going for?"

He shrugged softly. "I want to look for some wall art or stickers for the room. I know we don't know the gender but there are a lot of gender-neutral things out there that are pretty cute."

I wanted to be in my baby's life as much of possible. I couldn't let the thoughts of others ruin our life. "It's alright; I want to come with you."

He grinned happily and let out a slow breath. "God, thank you Bella. I know how hard this is for you."

"It's alright." I whispered, swallowing the nervousness.

We didn't live far from town so it took it us only 10 minutes to get into the main section of town where most of the baby shops were. I was glad that Edward was supportive during this. Normally people so young would run away from a situation so difficult. I was so grateful that Esme and Carlisle had raised their children to be smart, caring adults.

As we sauntered down the isles of cuddly toys, cribs and strollers, I tried to hold in my tears. If Rose had been here she would have been so happy. She'd told me before that she loved children and that one day she was hoping she could have them. Unfortunately Rose was ripped from that dream. She was stolen from life altogether. No matter how many times I tried to tell myself that Rose wanted this because she'd tried to take her own life, part of me regretted letting her go so soon in the hospital. If we'd kept life support on for a few days more, would Rose be with us now?

"Bella," Edward whispered, pulling me to my side and stroking my hair gently. He knew I was thinking about her. I did it often. He was hurting too. "I know it hurts – I know you're thinking about how much she'd love this. It's alright, Bella. She's probably looking down on us right now begging us to be happy. She'll always be in our hearts, Bella."

I nodded, swiping at my tears as we came to a rack of bright paints and wall accessories. "They are kind of pretty…" I started quietly.

I picked out a clear packaging of 'Winnie the Pooh' wall stickers. They were a nice, cream color. Definitely not too bright. It included all the characters. There was one of Piglet hanging onto a small pink balloon; one of Winnie and Christopher Robin holding hands; another of Eeyore with his head down; one of Roo and Kanga cuddling together; one of Tigger bouncing on his tale. I thought they were perfect.

Edward took the art from me; studying them with a ghost of a smile on his lips. "They're beautiful. Rose and I loved watching Winnie the Pooh as kids. We even watched them when we spent hours at the hospital when she had Anorexia."

I knew at that moment we had to get them. "We're getting them." I said determinedly.

Edward didn't object, just dropped them into the cart. As we walked around the large store, we also picked up some tins of cream and white paint, and a lot of Winnie the Pooh accessories. We had finally decided the theme of the nursery, and we were both pleased with the results.

An exhausted half hour later, I relaxed into the soft leather of Edward's car as we pulled away from the town. I was thankful that today hadn't been one of those days where everyone stared at me. I couldn't handle it. God knows how many times I'd cried to Edward because of the attention I was getting.

We drove in silence, but Edward kept glancing at from the corner of his eye every so often. He eventually handed me over the phone that was vibrating and chiming in the safety of his jeans.

"Hello?" I muttered, clearing my voice so that I could be heard by the other person.

"Bella!" The bubbly, happy voice screeched over the line.

I closed my eyes for a brief second because I felt a headache coming on. "Hi Alice."

She made a weird cheering sound before speaking to me again. Alice surprised me sometimes. "Did you get my gift?"

I smiled softly at the memory of the wonderful outfits she'd sent. "We did Alice. They were so perfect and beautiful. Thank you; we both loved them."

I could hear her smile even from over the phone. "I'm so glad you did! So are you wondering why I called?"

Shooting Edward a small but frightened look, I held the phone back to my ear. "Um…sure?"

"We're coming to visit! We'll be there in a few days." She yelled; Emmet hollering a 'hell yeah!' in the background.

I stifled my laugh and told them that we were pleased. She hung up the phone just as we were pulling up in the small driveway of our house. I sighed tiredly. "Your family is so…"

"Exhausting?" Edward offered as he climbed out of the door and got the bags from the backseat.

"Something like that."

Pregnancy was really taking a toll on me. All I ever wanted to do was eat and sleep. I was grumpy a lot too. It didn't go unnoticed by Edward but he was being a good sport about it. I had to give it to him; he was a wonderful man.

I settled down on the couch after making sure Edward was okay with sorting through the bags. He told me he was. I pulled out the heavy baby book from under the coffee table and turned to a new page. We'd taken up the tradition of writing to our unborn child ever since Alice gave us the book.

Little Nudger,

It's been a long day. A really long day. I'm still finding it hard to process that you're really on your way. It seems like just yesterday that I was breaking down in the Cullen's bathroom with a pregnancy test in my hands. I kept it secret because I was so scared. Now I wish I'd just told someone. Rose, even. The guilt I carry is so heavy. She had the chance to know. I was going to tell her, but your Auntie Rose slipped from my grasp before I could tell her. I'm so, so sorry. I really wanted you to know your Auntie Rose. She was such a wonderful girl – so caring and funny. She always knew how to calm me and make me feel better. Everyday I wish there was something I could do. She would've loved you, and you would love her too.

Everyone tells me that she's looking down on us both – sending us love and good will – but I'm still unsure. What if she's angry at me for not telling her? I often wonder that maybe if I had told her I was pregnant with you then maybe this all wouldn't have happened. She may have not died that day in the meadow. You would have saved her.

Anyway, I don't want to use this book to whine at you. I just want you to look back on this when you're old enough and see how your life began.

It started in an odd situation – one me and your dad will explain one day – but neither of us regret creating you or keeping you. Everyday we love you more and more. We're grasping the role of being parents as each day goes on. I can't wait to meet you. Neither can everyone else. I know you'll be beautiful.

I'm still thinking you're a boy, but if you do turn out to be a girl, then I'll love you still. Nothing will change that.

I love you,

Mommy.

Hey guys :') Welcome back;D This is the first chapter of the sequel to Secrets that Kill :) Are you all happy and excited? I hope that everyone understands the chapter, if not, just message me, you know what to do :') Of course I can't answer you if you don't sign in;D anyway, I'll try my best :)

Thanks for coming on this journey with me and making this happen :) Do you guys want long chapters like this or the normal length? I know long chapters can become a little tiring to read.

REVIEW GUYS! With Edward on top, please? :) Reviews make me update and make me write more of the story :) They're my energy!:)

xxxx