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Warning: Attention! May be addictive!
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Date of Expiry: 21st of July, 2005.
I dearly hope that no-one reading this will feel in need of Occlumency lessons with Professor Snape.
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1. Snape
Relents
"Under no circumstances! I will not accede in any case!"
Hissing these words, the resident Potions master of Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Witchcraft dropped his large hands on the ancient bureau squarely with an audible bang and, leaning forward, brought his face close to that of the old wizard seated behind it.
The argument had become heated during the last half hour.
Snape's dark, rich voice had changed from a bellow of rage to a hiss of menace, and Albus Dumbledore was quite sure that this was no improvement, nor would it further the affair at all.
The two Professors had been having this particular argument over and again every other day for weeks and not gotten anywhere. It had clouded over the summer holidays, which usually were a peaceful affair at Hogwarts. Things seemed to have stalled and no truce was in sight as, for once, the Potions master seemed decided to not let the Headmaster have his way.
Severus Snape, as usual during those conversations, was pacing the office floor restlessly. He had opened the skirmish in the usual way, too, by offering his resignation in answer to the Headmaster's demand, and from there proceeded to threaten to leave without notice, both of which threats both of the contestants knew to be empty, unless the Potions Professor did not mind encountering an untimely death at the hands of one of his former victims, or friends, or his old master within the week – by those who still believed him to be a traitor, or had lost family members to his efforts, or otherwise dared to not heed the orders of Lord Voldemort concerning him.
Professor Snape's position at Hogwarts, and the fact that the school was close to impenetrable to individual misdemeanour and Dark efforts, were what had saved him so far. A massed attack of a wizarding army surely could bring the wards down, but that was not to be expected anytime soon – the preparations necessary for such a move would not likely go unnoticed.
While there was still not much danger now in leaving on short errands in irregular intervals, quitting the job had become as good as a death warrant for Snape since Voldemort's return. Even if the Dark Lord could not be entirely sure of the Potions Professor's betrayal to his cause, Snape himself would find himself utterly incapable to resume any Death Eater routine, in particular treats like Muggle-torturing, and by that give sufficient proof that he had outlived his usefulness – while, at the moment, he still was a major source of intelligence for both sides, and quite indispensable.
Snape had gone as far as to raise his voice in anger, something not many other than the man before him had experienced before, to make clear that if the brat had to know all about his private life, and in order to save Black's reputation, of all people, to boot, he would not stand for anything that might be the result.
"I will not allow my personal life to be displayed in such a manner to a stubborn, spoiled ingrate who does not know his place in life, and has no appreciation for necessity or Art!"
"I might state that you, Severus, are, at the moment, not acting any wiser than the boy," Dumbledore stated placidly.
Snape growled at that.
"Oh, never mind me!"
"Can I take that for assent?"
"Don't you dare..."
The Headmaster, calm and maddeningly understanding as ever, had merely ventured that someone would have to acquaint the boy with the whole story eventually; that none of it would really enhance Black's reputation but things had to be told that would very likely hurt the boy; that misjudgements of times past could not justify the upkeeping of prejudices; and argued that it was essential, and merely reasonable, that young Potter should know most of this tangled history before he'd put his life once more on the plate against the Dark Lord, in order to be able to fully appreciate what he was fighting for, and against, historically speaking.
"You know very well, too, Severus, that no matter how much you or I or anyone else would wish things to be otherwise, the story of his parents' deaths and his godfather's imprisonment can not be separated from that of your own life, and the boy has got a right to know!"
"You never bothered with that in earlier years", the Potions Professor grumbled.
"The boy was much younger then, and, as you know well, not granting him at least an outline of the events was one of the larger mistakes in my career, and led directly to the incident in the Ministry in spring."
"You know I disagree there, too…"
"This must not happen again!
"What is more, a little over a year ago, Voldemort was not back, and no reason to fear that he would be soon… Potter was elementary in that, as well!"
The old wizard looked a bit distraught at the memory of his misjudgements.
He'd thrown the Potions master off his ingrained track successfully by his new tack of admitting to a series of misjudgements, though. Severus Snape couldn't stand to see in distress the one man who appeared to be able to coordinate the joint efforts of an anti-Voldemort-alliance, and felt compelled to list the achievements and advantages of recent events, however small they might be.
"Not all is for the worst, Albus. Without the ... incident, the Minister would still be in denial. The Dark Lord would have every chance to choose his first strike, and that might well have been the school... It still might be."
"Well, I don't think so... and Black would still be among us..."
"The mutt", mumbled Snape, ignoring the guilt he felt behind the old man's low tone of voice, and failing entirely to perceive that circumstance a disadvantage.
"... and the Death Eaters would not have taken to random destruction of Muggle and mixed-blood homes, torturing and ransacking anyone and anything in their path, to enhance the terror of Lord Voldemort's new rise... He might be acting according to a plan, still."
"I am sure he does – it's never been that much more strategy with him. He simply wants the Ministry and the general population crazed with fear, until they are ripe to be plucked. While that is not exactly a delicate tactic, it might well work, as you know.
"He's collecting his forces, and they are huge. We might even be safer now here up north than before, as not many Welsh and Scottish wizards have joined his side... He might or might not be laying low still, otherwise – what good would that be to us?"
The old Headmaster was angry with his Professor, and showed it.
"Thank you, Severus, for your cool and precise assessment. I assume it will prove most accurate."
"Very likely so, Albus, it tends to be", the Professor went on unperturbed, deliberately disregarding the mood his Headmaster was in. There was no time whatsoever now for quibbles like that!
"Hence, all I listed are points to our advantage, and we got by them by the fight in the Ministry, sentimentalities aside. It's merely a sober, unsweetened equation", Snape pushed on mercilessly. "But it still is obscure to me where Potter does come into it, or his assumed need to know about my curriculum vitae that you advocate so."
Albus Dumbledore sighed. He'd explained that, or had tried to, a dozen times at least to the phenomenally stubborn man in front of, and had no other words left for it than the bleakest. With a sigh, he made to speak them once more.
"Foreseeably, you and the boy will have to work together closely in the future. No, don't contest that – you know it to be true. You may be the person to have to take him into close range of Lord Voldemort eventually. You know there'll be hardly another who could. Unless we allow Lucius to capture him, or some such thing."
The lack of further protestation from the Potions master showed his reluctant agreement to those facts. This was about as far as they'd ever gotten. The path of negotiation had, by now, become the trampled lawn of evasion and purposeful misapprehension, every possible position having been taken in the course of the argument, with hardly a spot of green left to find a strong stand in order to push things further…
The argument took a somersault back to an earlier point.
"To accept that, he needs to know who and what you are and, what's more, he needs to trust you in some way. Also, I want you to pick up Occlumency Lessons with him again –"
At that, Snape groaned, like he always did at this particular point.
"That would be after an adequate apology on his side, of course, and he will be asking you for it himself. Not on my order to do so, either – I doubt he's in a mood to do as I bid him anyway. I shall take it upon me, though, to make him see the necessity of that. Given that he does apologize, will you agree to my proposition?"
Professor Snape said nothing.
Dumbledore knew that it was useless to try and either outstare or out-silence the black-eyed man before him. Such intimidation tactics as there were did not work at all on this past master of intimidation. The man had resisted Lord Voldemort in worse circumstances quite effortlessly. The Headmaster wondered if shaking the Professor would help, since that was what he felt like doing, but decided against the attempt. So, after a moment, he merely continued in the old train of this conversation, suppressing another sigh.
"Later on, there may be need to teach him other things, and the Granger girl too – like what you teach your Slytherins. I cannot have those that will not join the Dark Lord lagging behind in the knowledge of the Dark Arts and defensive measures against it!"
"Why, then, would you never let me teach Dark Arts officially? It is being done in other schools, Albus!"
The Potions Professor pronounced this question like the recital of a very boring, basic recipe, indicating that he'd asked it a hundred times before and did not expect new answers, but felt the need to voice it again no less.
The Headmaster cocked his white head in an impatient gesture. This argument, too, they'd been having over and again, in this case for years, and he knew that Severus required hearing it over and again as a kind of penitence on his part. Dumbledore usually complied with the rite unperturbed, but it did grate on his nerves today.
Albus Dumbledore droned: "Have a former Death Eater teach Dark Arts at Hogwarts? The parents would just love it, as you well know – and there was even less chance for an acceptance of it when Riddle was still gone! Even if your teaching Dark Arts was generally accepted, it would not do, partly because it would put you in direct danger, and partly because of the atmosphere it would create. You do realise that, in order for you to teach the subject, your name would have to be cleared and, by that, your cover be blown completely! It would also mean that her – HER story would be devoured by the papers and the public, leaving not one shred to imagination, or quiet reminiscence…"
As usual, this final point was the only one that really counted with the Potions master.
This would not happen in his life, and he still had to find revenge. Severus Snape gritted his teeth.
The Headmaster's voice had singsonged a bit with the recital, letting his Professor know that he himself was impatient, too. Frankly, Dumbledore would have no more of it. If neither of the two people in question could be made to see sense, then there was an end to the discussion.
So, this would be an issuing of marching orders, and Professor Snape would have to comply or, indeed, quit. Dumbledore was fed up and would brook no further argument.
"Plus, you yourself suggested that it might indeed have other advantages..."
"Well, then it surely is a must."
That was all that... greasy git, Dumbledore admitted the students had a point there, would come up with!
Quite unexpectedly, the Potions Professor then changed course by striking up a new line to the old tune. Well, not new maybe, but just a little bit different and, considering the rails the conversation had been running on for years now, unfamiliar enough to make the old wizard cock his head.
"If you'd let me teach Dark Arts... The atmosphere in school right now that the new year starts can't really be deemed benevolent either, Albus, due to the remnants, or memories, of Umbridge's… teaching methods, and recent events. My training would have the great advantage of being realistic... Better than any training situation... You know that."
"Severus, quite aside of your consenting to tell the story of your life to young Harry –"
"Under no circumstance will I do that, and be forced to relive the events in the eyes of the son of my school time enemy! Let him have it straight from the Pensieve if you must, it's all in there! I gather he loves to peep at other's memories. If you put it somewhere within his reach just so that every decent person would consider it private, things needing to be seen on top, and leave it to him to discover it, he'll surely find out about it all soon enough!"
Snape was almost shouting again and only stopped then to catch his breath.
This wasn't fair toward Harry Potter at all, but Dumbledore could not bother with that now. The Potions master would find out for himself eventually if things went right.
The old Headmaster had seen the breach, and struck mercilessly.
"He has got to trust you, Severus! You are the only person capable of training him in Occlumency, and a variety of other Arts. He might trust if he's given a chance to understand..."
"As if I care... I can't deny the necessity of tempering the insolent brat for our aims... If Potter does not learn to contain himself, all will be to no avail in the end. From what you told me about the fight in the Ministry of Magic, the Dark Lord rules Potter completely, as soon as they are in the same room at the latest, and Potter can't and won't rule himself. I can't force that on him – no-one can!
"You do not mind my disgrace either, I know that much. Furthermore, I can see that you have made your mind up in the matter, Headmaster, so any appeal is as good as naught. But there is no way that I tell him about the events you have in mind. Find a way to shelter yourself temporarily, and get it over with. The only reason I agree at all is that he'll find out eventually, and that his being told by a ...sympathetic witness is to be preferred.
"Do not expect my cooperation otherwise!"
Snape turned in a swish of robes to stare out of a window.
Albus eyed his most volatile Professor seriously. Had he gotten that right?
"You would not mind letting him see some of the..."
Snape turned again and stared back. He obviously would, but Albus Dumbledore felt he'd broken the barrier of defiance here at last, unexpectedly. He would not let go now!
"Well, he HAS seen a lot, that boy, but I do not think this would do."
The man's hair wasn't that greasy, after all, what with protection spells against fumes and so on. Children were often unjust and cruel.
"...I will, then, with your permission" – Snape snorted – "take it upon me to tell that story in your place. I was about to suggest some such proceeding, but did not anticipate you to give up your own whole history like that."
Severus Snape snorted again, contemptuously. The Headmaster could never leave it at having wrung some sort of consent from him, could he?
"And by this, I'll direct the anger he will feel against my person, in the name of your future cooperation. We have already agreed as to what I will hold back. I do not expect you to spare the boy anything, or favour him in the future, but I do expect you to look at him as himself, not as his father's son, or copy. He's never really known his parents. Do try to be fair."
The Professor, while feeling to be taken advantage of, one more time in a long row of such events, sighed, straightened himself, and said: "Well then, I agree, Headmaster. I am not at all happy with your proposal, nor do I consider the measures taken to be suitable, but you know as much."
This time, Snape did turn to leave, feeling beat. He could not bring himself to feel offended by the admonishing tones regarding his conduct. That had been discussed too, and there, he had refused to compromise as well.
"I do hope we succeed. I do hope your course of action is the right one, Albus, and adequate."
The Headmaster nodded, a bit dazed by this sudden caving-in of his Potions master after months of working the man. He hoped that, too.
"As I said, you might eventually have to extend the lessons quite beyond Occlumency, and include Hermione Granger in them – supporting their Defence against the Dark Arts-club from the wings, that would be."
"I could handle that by myself much more efficiently if it would not involve Potter and the Know-It-All", Snape sighed.
"Yes you could – had you no cover to keep. And were students, other than Slytherin, to trust you. I do believe you will enjoy that last part quite a bit anyway; it is not as if these two were morons, after all. Do not make it too easy for them though!"
A nasty smile crept over the Potions master's face.
"Do you honestly believe that I'd ever make anything easy for your precious little Gryffindors? For Potter, of all people! Trust me there, sir!"
Albus Dumbledore grinned back at him, not taking offence at all. He knew he'd won, quite unexpectedly, too, and was very relieved that he didn't have to order his Professor in the matter There had to be some little reward at least in it for the Potions Professor, and all he could do now was to try not to upset this precarious balance.
Suddenly, Snape's face shadowed over again.
"I can't wait to see that face contort in that look of contemptuous pity his father could do so well... That bay stare... After she was gone, he was sneering at me all the time, preening, and sporting pretty Lily and his blissful marriage..."
"That was the father, not the son, Severus. Harry's not James, not his father. Do try to keep that in mind – please!"
Snape did not like that at all but obviously, he needed not to be convinced of the truth of the statement, either. His ever-boiling anger and pain did blind him only occasionally, and he did try to correct that.
He'd do anything the Headmaster considered necessary in the end, but glared at Dumbledore nevertheless.
"I do not wish him to pity me or some such thing!"
Albus Dumbledore was amused at the defiant sound of that. Proud to the teeth, and uncompromising. Just like the teen he'd been, a quarter of a century ago…
"My dear boy – do you seriously believe that anyone would pity you? You have your very own rather abrasive and highly potent methods to get people off that idea almost instantaneously!"
Those were approximately the very same words Albus Dumbledore had said a long time ago to Severus Snape, in connection with a very different matter. Dumbledore withstood the angry black glare.
Snape, upon that, lowered his eyes, and left his office with a short: "Well then, goodnight, Headmaster."
He'd not said he hoped that Dumbledore would enjoy the aftermath of this triumph, but the Headmaster could infer the meaning easily from his attitude and tone of voice. He knew the man so well... And he did have his misgivings about what he considered necessary, but there was no other way to get things to work that he could conceive of.
Then, Albus Dumbledore sighed. Convincing the other party to the deal would not be very much easier, he was sure.