Two Weeks at Saddy's

by regertz

The version of events the government doesn't want you to know...If they were true...C'mon...You know you want Buffy and William to take on Sady and his boys...

"Two Weeks at Saddy's..."

PG-13

Disclaimer: All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series...

Summary: The version of events the government doesn't want you to know...If they were true...C'mon...You know you want Buffy and William to take on Sady and his boys...

Naturally, we assume in this AU the First's been dealt with...

Part I...

Baghdad...Saddam's super-secret bunker...The night of the American missile attack...

A huge cloud of dust from a precisely targeted explosion fills the air...Various military types scattered like ragdolls about the bunker, some struggling to their feet...Others...Not...

"Odai?...Odai?..." A call as Qusai Hussein is seen rising to his feet, shaking rubble and dust from his three piece suit...

"Qusai?..." a faint answer as Odai Hussein crawls out from under the large conference table...

Shit...Crazy older brother's alive...Qusai sighs to himself...Damn...

"Where's Dad?..." Odai mumbles as he staggers about the room...Various medical personnel nervously and hurriedly...The Yanks might be back any moment, one notes fearfully, recommending they all leave...Tend to the wounded and dead...

"There..." Qusai points to a heap of rubble from which Saddam's body is being carefully excavated...

"Dad...?...Oh Mi Allah!...They've killed Dad...?..."

Bastardi!...Odai shakes a fist at the roof...

"Order a counterstrike...At once..." he turns to the highest ranking surviving general...Who eyes Qusai...What the hell is your nutcase brother talking about...?...But nods...Odai may be crazy but the RG is in his pocket thanks to bribes...And threats...Of all kinds...

Yeah...Sure...The general looks at Qusai again...Who rolls eyes briefly...And returns to Odai... "A counterstrike...Right, sir..."

"Come, men..." the general turns to several confused young officers... "Let us plan the great counterstrike..." They stare at him...

See...Odai smugly notes to himself...Then to Qusai...And Dad thought I lacked that commanding presence...

Sir...? Counterstrike?...One young officer hisses...

"Shut up and lets get the hell outta here...My car can get us to Kuwait in two hours..." the general hisses back...

Other officers are now clearly debating leaving as well...Or, maybe just cutting the boys' throats and handing their bodies over to Bush as a peace offering...

Allah...Qusai sighs...And I thought it was gonna work out when I saw dear ole mad Dad dead back there and Odai apparently vaporized...

I'd present myself to the US as the sensible, progressive...Reasonable alternative...A member of the government and the Hussein family...Horrified at Dad's crimes but sadly powerless to stop him...The one man in Iraq who could bring this terrible conflict to a happy resolution with minimal causalities...

A fair-minded, liberal Democrat...er democrat...Of the Republican compassionate conservative variety of course...

An excellent choice for interim President...I'd say...

But crazy Odai had to survive...he sighs...

Well...Qusai reflects, looking at the surviving military and governmental figures now clustering in groups...Making rather ominous noises...There are a lot of guys here who'd love to ice him right here, right now...

Unfortunately...I think most of them would like to carry out my plan...For themselves...And don't exactly have a lot of affection for me...

"Qusai...?" Odai interrupts his brother's reverie... "Why are they all standing around?...Looking at us like that...? We're Saddam's sons...His heirs..."

Well...He thinks...I'm his heir...Even if he did take it all away from me and give it to wuss boy here...In his fancy-smancy sober businessman-politician suit...One of Dad's old suits at that, I'd bet...

Nerd...Bet he never tortured anyone...Lied that time he told Dad about the mom and her seven-year old...Just to suck up...

But...Gee...The others sure are looking kinda...

Is General Wadi humming "God Bless America"...?

"Qusai...?...What are we gonna do...?" he looks at his bro... "I think the guys want us dead as Dad..." he hisses...

"Shut...Up...Moron..." Qusai whispers back...Striking a confident pose...He turns to a doctor helping to dig his dad's body out...Hastening to shield the body from further view...

"So...Doctor...How long did you say it will take Dad to come out of this...Coma?"

Coma...? the doc looks at him...Blinking...

Allah...The man is in two pieces...What...Coma...? I guess Qusai's as nuts as Odai...he thinks...

But then if I were in either one's shoes right now...the doc looks at the officers and government types...Glaring at the boys...But a few hearing Qusai's "Coma..." take pause...

Qusai pats him, leans to his ear...

"Well...Two weeks?...Unfortunate...When Iraq needs Dad so badly...However..." he beams...

The doc blinks again...Odai however has caught on to some extent and takes the little doctor in hand...

If nothing else, he might get one last torture session out of the little fellow...

"Nod your head and be quiet, fool...Or die right now..." Odai hisses...The doc eyes him...And his large pistol...Nods...

"Yes..." Qusai beams jovially... "Allah has given us a sign...A miracle...My father has been spared...We must simply carry on for now until he...Recovers..."

The others looks at each other...Several trying to look past Qusai to the half-buried Saddam...

Hmmn...Saddy looked preety dead to me...One general thinks...But then again...The bastard looked preety dead last time we tried...

"Yeah..." Odai chimes in... "We shall bear the burden for him...Until he makes his speedy..." A medical worker by Saddam's body lifts a vital organ into view... "Whatdaya want me to do with this, boss...?" he calls to the doc...Odai and Qusai glare at the gulping doc...Who races over...

"Nothing essential...Gentlemen..." he calls cheerily...

"Our Leader is sure to make a splendid and quick recovery...Just a few days bedrest..."

"Beginning...Now...All of you out!..." Qusai snarls at the others...

A couple of generals eye each other...Well...The sob might have survived at that...And who's gonna take the chance...

Not me...

All shuffle out under Odai's glare but the doc and his assistant...

"Excellent, doctor..." Qusai smiles a paternal, reasonable...Excellent candidate for Interim Presidential smile at him... "You have rendered your nation a great service..."

Now...You will render Iraq...And us...An even more invaluable service...

Or...Else...Odai chimes in...

The doc gulps...

"Qusai?..." Odai looks at him as the nervous doc awaits orders...Hissing...

"What...Service...?"

"Our friend here is about to perform a miracle, Odai...Our dad shall return to guide the nation to victory over our enemies..." Qusai smiles...

Huh...? But, Qusai...? Odai blinks...Qusai waves him aside...

"Doctor..." Qusai beams... "Tell me...Have you ever seen an American film called "Weekend at Bernie's...?"

Ummn...

Hmmn...I remember that one...Great flick...Odai grins...Hilarious with the dead guy and all...

That Terry Kiser...So underappreciated a talent...he sighs to himself...

Meanwhile...At a super-secret American intelligence HQ...Somewhere in Belize...Dealing with matters best not for the US public to know...

A man-in-(jungle conditions adapted) -black faces his superior officers...

"Finn..." the commanding general nods...Pulling out a report...

"There is a... "Situation"...In "Target Uno"...That calls for your expertise..."

Geesh...Why can't they just say "Iraq"...? Everybody knows the war's started...Riley sighs to himself...

Hmmn...So much for my week off with Sam in Costa Rica...

"We believe now that "Target Uno-A" may have escaped our efforts to suppress him...In a unique way..." the general continues...

"Possibly a way...Your Special Ops branch might best be prepared to deal with..." the large colonel in jungle fatigues at the general's left chimes in...

"Saddam's gone vamp...?" Riley bursts out...

Jesus, kid...The colonel sighs to himself as the general frowns a bit at such directness...Didn't ya spend two years learning to talk like the guys in "Apocalypse Now"...

Hmmn...Iraq...Easy win...Nice desert scenery...Sam would be up for that...All those ruins...Babylon and all...And she loves ancient history as much as I do...

And I could always get Buf to help out with Saddam the Vampire now that she's sent the First packing...If Sady's been dumb enough to go that route...

"I'm ready, sir...As is my partner..." he hastily adds...

And, in Sunnydale...

"We're in the money..." Anya happily hums, driving down the main street of Sunnydale...As she surveys the bargain real-estate she and re-engaged fiancee Xander have just...Hastily...Acquired...

To be fair...Giles...And Buffy herself, at his urging...Wasted no time picking up a few choice parcels from those former residence who, still recovering from the First's influence, had been anxious to unload their Sunnydale properties at any price...

After all, the SITs and the new Council would need financial support...

Though of them all, Anya...And William... "Just had a few quid stashed about..." he'd explained to the others when buying up a fifth of Sunnydale's most equity-holding parcels...Had made out best...

That's mine...she nodded at the Sunnydale Rest Home...

Gotta remember to politely ask the evil wealthy elderly women who just moved in in a group to get outta town...Can't have residents of my nursing home possessing the bodies of young Sunnydalers in their ever-ongoing quest for non-vamp/demonic Immortality...

Good thing Xander volunteers there and caught on to them...The lawsuits we'd've faced...

Though I still think we oughta turn it over quick as possible...

And that's mine...er...Ours...Ours, Anya...she reminded herself, rather selflessly...Good re-fiancee that she was...Peering out the car window at the Main Street 7-11...

And...Sigh, no...No, only fair...I'm happy for my friend...There's Giles' strip mall...And Buffy's Sunnydale Art Museum...

Actually an engagement present from William...Knowing how much it would mean to her...Joyce's old place and all...

And...Our...Super laundromat...Our gas station...Our luxury townhome complex...With affordable housing included among the middle- and upper- units...She proudly reminded herself...

She turned down Cruishank St...Ah, Giles' and our new Magic Box...Twice the size of the old place

...Buffy's coffeeshop adjoining...

Good work experience for Dawn at least even if they run the place into the ground...

Andrew's Oddities Shop...Fortunately specializing in sci-fi and sci-fantasy rather than occult at Giles' insistence...For the sake of maintaining Andrew's redemption of course...

And with the fringe benefit of preventing possible competition in our rather specialized niche...

Life...Is...Good...Anya sighed contentedly...Turning to Nivens St...Where the new sparkling offices of Harris Construction, Inc gleamed before her as she pulled in...

"An...!" Xander called from his office window, waving...Anything but the dignified young head of Harris Construction, Inc...

Yeah...Anya waved back...

Life is good...

Thank God Andrew froze Caleb before he could kill me...But not until Xander realized he'd rather be dead in Heaven with me than ever be separated from me again...

And I proved to him I truly repented every death I'd ever caused...Nearly dying even when I could've taken D'Hoffryn's and the First's offer of restored demonhood...

Life is good...Buffy sighed...Waving her hand from where she sat in her wheelchair to the William happily hanging a new portrait of Joyce in the Summers' living room...

"Lil' higher, honey..." she called...

Dawn watched carefully...Determined to be included in this one...Hey, her mom too, ya know...

"To the left, Will..." she chimed in...

"Here, ladies?..." William eyed them...Dawn standing beside a bright-eyed Buffy in her chair...

"Perfect..." both replied...Nodding in unison...He tapped then screwed the picture holder into place...

So...Buffy looked up at Dawn...

"How'd the date with Connor go?..."

Pfft...Dawn rolled her eyes...

"When he wasn't talking about his Dad...It was all about his own incredible saga..."

Well...Buffy pointed out...It was kinda...

"Yeah, yeah..." Dawn waved a hand... "But the guy never shut up for ten seconds...I mean I have a story or two to tell too..."

Sounds like they're made for each other...Buffy thought...As did Will...Supersenses, ya know...

She caught his faint grin at her and returned it as Dawn continued...

"Talk, talk, talk...Ya wouldn't believe it..."

"Well..." Buffy began...

"Can't understand how a person can be so full of themselves...And not wanta hear about how we beat the First...Or about the Key thing and all..."

"That LA restaurant musta been nice..."

Yeah...But, God...The fuss they made over the "prince of LA"...God...Dawn frowned...

"Doin' lil ole me such a big favor...The little Slayer sis from the sticks..."

What the hell did Angel do there to get em acting like that?...You never got that kind of thing...she looked at Buffy...

Clearly a little wistfulness in her look...

"Angel's saved a lot of folks there...Some of them pretty big in LA...And Wes told me when Jasmine was beat, the locals were looking to latch onto to a new hero...Angel fit the bill..." Buffy explained...

He's earned a little gratitude, Dawn...And, ya know...He didn't get me or poor Darla's soul or his humanity yet...At least in this life, he's getting kinda the short end of the stick...

"It won't last...People will move on soon enough and the magic will fade out...Connor's just enjoying it while he can..."

"What a kid..." Dawn groused...

A gaggle of Iraq's top commanders watch their...Yeah, right...favorite TV show...The only TV show on Iraqi TV...With their beloved (uh-huh) Odai Hussein in their midst, carefully gauging reactions to his and Qusai's little effort...

"We...Shall...Smite..." a frozen-looking (yeah...cause, in this heat...an anxiously-watching Odai thinks...) Saddam intones...Thanks to carefully placed microspeaker...And Qusai's careful manipulation of old recordings...

God...He looks pretty hale and hearty all things considered...one general notes...Sadly...At least within...On the outside his face beaming with joy at the Leader's inspiring words of comfort...

How could the Yanks have missed 'im with my man's coordinates?...Bastard really does have nine...God, ninety lives...

"...the infidel...Iranian...Iranian...Iranian..." the tape jams...And on the worst possible word...

Shit!...Odai looks round nervously...I told Qusai not to use the old Iranian war tapes...

"...dogs...and our martyrs shall...Live...With...Glory forever in Palest..." whoops...Qusai switches tapes fast... "Paradise..."

Thank you...Sleep well...An arm lifts and drops several times in a wave...The hand flopping...The screen goes blank...

The commanders eye each other...Hmmn...Saddy's never been so friendly with the waving and all...Guess he's trying to appeal to the ordinary Joe a bit more...

"He looks...marvelous..." Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf, Iraqi Information Minister proudly notes...

"Victory is certain...As I shall state at my next press briefing..." he nods confidently to Odai...

Phew...Odai looks for a place to mop his brow in solitude...And duck out quick in case another missile attack hits...

Part II...

Sunnydale...The Summers' home...

A rap at the door...Dawn excuses herself from the picture-hanging ceremony to get it...

"Hey, Dawn..." Riley smiles at her...Sam beside him...

Buffy round?...

Ummn...

"Dawn!...Who's...?" Buffy wheels over, William following...Cautiously, watching the afternoon sun streaming in at the door...

"Riley?...Samantha?...Hi..." she beams...

"Buffy?..." Riley eyes the chair...Sam pastes a "chair, what chair?..." friendly look on her face...

"A little strength-draining from my fight with the First..." Buffy shrugs... "I'll be right as rain in a bit..."

Still on duty...she notes firmly...Glancing at Dawn...

"With Will's help..." she smiles back to him...William keeping back a bit...

"Finn..." he nods pleasantly at the man-in-black...Actually not unhappy to see the rather late arriving GI Joe...

Buf could use a little action...The chair's been getting her down a bit recently...Even with Dawn and Giles allowing her to resume Patrol...Under William and the gang's and the SITs careful surveillance...

If ole Finn hasn't just come for a friendly visit...Yeah, right...Might not be a bad thing to have a minor...Minor, natch...World crisis for my girl just now...

"William and I are...Engaged..." Buffy smiles a little at Riley...

"Soul quest, world-saving help, ever-lasting devotion and willingness to die for a lover even after said lover's death...Plus some kinda neat love poetry...And a real effort to breadwin...I finally had to cave..." she grins...

"I see...Glad to hear the chip removal's worked out, Sp...(Buffy gave a slight hard look)...Will..." Riley corrects...

"Spike is gone..." Buffy notes firmly...

Yeah...Dawn chimes in...

"Dawn too...?" Riley gave William a genuine grin... "Nice work, there...William..."

"That's great, Buffy..." Sam nodded... "Congratulations, William..."

"So...Are you two coming in?..." Buffy smiled... "Or are you now some form of demon we can kill...?"

That'll be all right, too...William thought...

Either way she can use the action...

Baghdad...Iraqi Command HQ...A rather mobile HQ...

"All is well..." the information minister notes to Qusai, Odai, several weary commanders, and a rather frozen-looking Saddam...Sitting isolated at the end of the conference table, tended by a nervous-looking doctor and assistants...

"The British are trapped, stretched around Basra and menaced by our forces within...The Americans are paralyzed by our heroic flank attacks on the road to the capital...One hundred miles away at least..."

"Excellent...Our father is pleased with your efforts, gentlemen..." Qusai firmly nods...

Victory...As our dear MSS asserts...Is just around the corner...

Good Allah...One general sighs within, keeping a frozen smile of confidence in victory on his face...

So this is what it was like in the Fuhrerbunker?...

"Your Presidential Excellency..." one general tries to address Saddam...

"General..." Qusai sternly interrupts... "Our father will take no questions at this time...He requires rest after his ordeal..."

"But...Sir..." the general tries... "The Guards' divisions to the north must be given new orders...Pulled back and put under cover...Before it's too..." he hesitates...

Before they're needed to reinforce our victorious counteroffensive...? Qusai suggests...

Absolutely...the general nods hastily...

"And only His Excellency can..." he begins...

"My father...Has intrusted command of the Guard to me..." Qusai insists...

"And...I feel we must protect the northern oilfields at all costs..."

Got have somethin' I can deliver to President Bush when the capital falls...Soon, Allah willing...Qusai thinks...

Yeah..Odai chimes in...We must protect our northern territories...As Dad has ordered...He glances at Saddy...

"Right, Dad?..." he calls...Pressing a button on a concealed remote...

The President's head jerks up and down in a nod...

Damn you, you maniac...Qusai glares at Odai...You keep playing with that thing and it'll break...Not to mention they'll all see the ultrathin cables we've attached...

See...Odai beams at the commanders...

"Dad has spoken...Now...All out...And to the victorious battlefield...!"

Ummn...Odai?...Qusai looks at him as the commanders stare at each other...

"The meeting's just started, bro...We have a lot to go through yet..."

Say...he smiles fondly at his insane older brother...

"Maybe you should take Dad for a stroll while we get through the boring stuff here...He needs a little air..."

Odai glares...

On the other hand...If the Yanks should make an appearance...Missilewise...

Maybe with a few new coordinates to guide them...

Succession problem...Solved...

"Glad to, bro..." he smiles...Rising and moving to where the doc and his men cluster round Saddam...

"Time for a walk, Dad..." he eyes the doc who signals his men to unlock the nearly invisible cables...

Patting the concealed transmitter in his jacket pocket as he waits for the medical team to prep dear ole Dad for his daily outing...

"Gentlemen..." Qusai resumes the briefing...

"See ya in a bit, brother..." Odai waves, pushing Saddam in his chair...

In a large crater, Allah willing...Heh, heh, heh...

Sunnydale...The Summers'...

Buffy, William, Dawn with their visitors Sam and Riley are now joined by Giles, Anya, Willow, Xander, and several SITs still living in Sunnydale...

"So...The government thinks Saddam Hussein is a vamp...?" Buffy looks at Riley and Samantha...

"Our operatives confirmed he was hit on the first night of the attack...A special agent in his inner circle confirmed that he was killed...And yet...He's still up and about, apparently..." Riley sighs...

Hmmn...Giles shakes his head...Not many dictators go in for vamp immortality...Surprising as that may be, when they know the details of the vamp lifestyle and the demon possession thing, they generally seek other routes to eternal life...

I suppose they don't like to take a backseat to anyone...Even their own demonic counterpart...

"Could be another method..." Anya suggests...Like the Mayor...

"Maybe...Or he could just be dead and six feet under..." William notes... "Your boys in Baghdad could be selling you short or just clueless..." he eyes Riley...

"Possible..." Riley nods... "But...We've got to know..."

"Can't say as I like the idea of the Slayer getting involved in a political matter..." Buffy shakes her head...

"We don't support this war...Whole-heartedly..." Dawn firmly insists...

"Dawny..." Riley sighs... "I don't support this war...Any-heartedly..."

But, it's my duty to support the effort and I do support our forces...

Even if we find out ole what's-his-dad's-name is the First in a new form?...Willow thinks...I know I'd sure go that route if I were the First...Why settle for some dinky little place when you could run the world's one superpower...

"And, guys...Whatever you may think of the war...If a crazy dictator did acquire vamp power..." Riley continues...

"Buffy's in no shape to go running off to Baghdad to check this clown out...He's only one vamp if a vamp at all...You guys deal..." Dawn frowns...

"Buffy..." Riley eyes her... "I didn't know you'd been so weakened...We wouldn't have considered asking you under the circumstances...But, as long as we're here...If Will and some of the others would consider volunteering...And you could give us some..."

"I'll go..." Buffy insists, cutting him off...And sternly eyeing the gang...

"Not that I'm supporting this thing..." she notes... "Just checkin' out a potential Slayer foe..."

Xander, Willow, Giles, Anya, and Dawn rise in protest...

"I want to go...And I'm gonna go..." she shakes her head...

If the US government springs for it...she grins at Riley...

"For all of us who want to go, I mean..." she smiles at the group...

"Will..." Dawn turns to the fiancee in desperation...Help!...her look says...

"Dawn...If Buffy wants to go...I support her...And I will go too..."

And make sure she's nowhere near anything dangerous at any time...he thinks...A leetle excitement's all very well, but this lad's not about to hope for yet another successful resurrection...

"Then I'm going..." Dawn crosses arms determinedly...

Anya eyes Xander, sighing...O...K...

"Us too..." she nods...

"Buffy...William...You are risking throwing everything you've just won away...I cannot support you in this..." Giles firmly insists...

"I understand, Giles..." Buffy begins... "But the real work here is yours now, anyway...The new Council and..."

"However..." he smiles at her... "As a scholar of history and the occult...I would never refuse the opportunity of a free trip to the sites of ancient Mesopotamia..."

"We'd considered having Mr. Blair draft you, Giles..." Riley grins at him... "Thanks for sparing us the trouble..."

"Everyone does get it that I'll be coming too...?" Willow puts in...

Though I do not support this invasion...she firmly adds...

"Mr. Hussein will never know what hit him..." Riley smiles at Willow...

That's so wonderful of you, Willow...Samantha pats her...We'll need your magical experience so badly...

"And of course we completely understand your political reservations..."

God, lady...Don't you ever can it?...Are you gay too or something...? Willow thinks, glaring...Thank God for poor Riley's sake you're not my type if you are...

Part III...

Baghdad...Another locale for the Iraqi HQ...

The information minister, lovingly referred to MSS by the foreign press corps finishes his latest press briefing on TV as the assembled Iraqi commanders...Those who still could be and were willing to risk their necks...Watch, trying valiantly to suppress laughter...and tears...

The boys, at the other end of the room with dear ole Dad...Odai still in a bit of a sulk at finding Qusai intact on his return from taking Dad for some "air"...

At least, some airing out...Cause ya know, even frozen, in this heat...

He surreptitiously sprays the corpse with "Off" while the commanders attend MSS' inspiring words of coming victory...

The man may be dangerously insane but he's always a hoot...One general thinks...

"We shall meet them with shoes and bullets...I promise you...Thank you..." MSS ends the conference, the TV goes dark...

"Inspiring...Truly..." Qusai notes from their end of the room...

Absolutely...Odai nods in agreement...

"So...When do we launch the great counteroffensive...?" he innocently asks... "Cause ya know, I'm the one Dad entrusted the RG to...Even if you took it away..." he glares...

Soon, brother...Qusai soothingly tells him, a smile to the others...Very, very soon...

"And I promise you, you will lead the Guard units in this glorious battle..."

And you will lead it, please...he thinks...At the head of the assault column...

The commanders eye each other...

"Any word from Ali in Basra?..." Qusai changes the subject...

You mean besides...Help!...one commander who'd managed to slip out of the south in the nick of time thinks...

"No?...Well no doubt he will send word of new triumphs soon..." Qusai nods...

Kill him quick, Brits...Last thing I need is that nut trying a chemical attack...he thinks...

"Could we put CNN on?..." Odai asks... "Or better yet, the BBC...?"

Kinda like to know what the hell's really going on...he thinks...As do various commanders in the group...

"Later, bro..." Qusai hisses...

Last thing we need is hear the real situation just now...With the guys in position to capture or kill us...

"Shall we have a word of inspiration from his Excellency?..." a commander, one of those a bit on the murderously insane, dimwittedly loyal side...Eagerly asks...Looking back at his Excellency, rather quietly holding court in his chair...Still a bit on the mend as yet, Qusai had explained earlier...

Hmmn...The boys eye each other...

"Dad's resting just now..." Odai hastily notes...

Perhaps a bit later, at the end of our conference...Qusai adds...

After I try and get the tape machine working again...he thinks...

Not to mention...Dad's getting a bit...Ripe...

The commander seems a tad unhappy...Had really hoped for an inspiring word or two, he notes...The others eye Saddam across the room...Hmmn...Has been a while since the Boss put in his two cents of furious invective...

"And you will get it, my friend..." Qusai confidently...and hastily...asserts...

Soon...

"Qusai?..." Odai nudges him...Whispering... "What are you doin'...? Did ya get the tape machine fixed?..."

Shut up, moron...Qusai hisses back, keeping that confident smile on his face as he backs over to dear ole dad...Patting Saddam on the shoulder...

"We've got to try something new...This little scheme isn't going to hold up much longer..." Qusai whispers to his brother as he shakes Saddam's dead hand and fakes an brief conversation with Dad...Signing for the doctor and his team to help cover...

What are you gonna do?...Odai eyes him, likewise taking position as devoted son...

"I have a...Friend...With special abilities...Who may be able to lend us his services..." Qusai explains, whispering...

For now, just keep talking to Dad...And look like you're afraid...Otherwise they'll know something's up...

In the skies over the Atlantic, en route to Kuwait...

"Mr. Walthrop is just fine..." Riley assured the concerned military flight attendant... "His family can deal with this...Don't worry..."

William having just let loose an upset stomach full of blood...First time ever conscious on a plane since one brief joy ride in 1917 during the Great War, he explains...

"Sorry, sweet..." he sighs to Buffy...

"Oh, Will..." a sympathetic Buffy pats him, applying a cold cloth...Willow doing her best with Anya and Xander to clean up the mess...Giles manfully trying to distract as many of the other passengers as possible as Riley and Sam deal with the startled crew...Naturally ready to put down for an emergency landing asap...

"Say...?" Willow looks up at him... "How'd you get to Africa and back so quick?...If you couldn't use a plane...?"

"I used a plane...I just swallowed every sleeping pill I could get my hands on before I slipped on board..." he ruefully notes...And grins, eyeing Riley...

"Family, eh?..." he smiles at Buffy and a now standing Willow, throwing her blood-soaked towels into a disposal bag...Xander shooting a quick glare...

Fraid so, kiddo...Buffy beams back...

"With all attendant responsibilities and obligations..."

"Speaking of which...Dearest..." he grabs at the opening...

"You do promise to take it slow on the ground, right?...I've put a lot of sweat equity into our relationship...I'd prefer not to see it wasted..."

"I'll take it easy..." Buffy nods... "But I decide what my limits are..."

Hmmn...He frowns...As do Willow and Xander...Anya grumblingly ferrying more blood-soaked towels to another disposal area...

"Well, then...I thank God we couldn't get you an electric chair right off..." he eyes her...

Eh...I can push this ole girl ten times faster than any electric jalopy anyday...Buffy shakes her head, patting her wheelchair...

"So be prepared to eat my dust, Walthrop..." she grins...

Not on desert sands, love...he thinks happily...And Baghdad oughta be in US hands by the time we get there...

Part IV...

Baghdad, Iraq...Yet another bunker HQ...

Fortunately, as the minister of information has just assured the foreign press corps, the Yanks are "...one hundred miles away!...Committing suicide!..."

Qusai and Odai Hussein, with the frozen corpse of dear ole Dad prepare for a dark ritual...

Qusai reads from a large, ancient Sumerian text...Picked it up cheap at the last execution of academics, he notes...Odai, looking over his shoulder...Greek to me, he shakes his head...

Hey...he looks around his dad's private palatial bunker...One he's never been allowed into before...

"What a cool pad...!..." he eyes the gigantic sex murals on the walls...

"Say...Isn't that the Scoody Doo movie star, that blonde?..." he nudges Qusai...Pointing at a mural...A blonde girl, chained, facing a fanged creature of the night...Rather scantily dressed...

"No...That's the Slayer...The Slayer of vampires and evil underdwellers...Some American girl...And stop poking me!...This is crucial if we're to make contact with Joseph..."

"Dad's ole hero?...In spirit...? Stalin himself...?"

In spirit...Qusai nods...Now pipe down!...

A blue light forms...A small, death's-headed, bald man with glasses in rather nice, but clearly a bit worn three-piece suit appears...Looking, naturally enough considering the recent disasters for Evil, a bit down...

"Who's summoned me?..." he stares, blinking... "Oh, it's you, Qusai, hi...Your dad says hey...And has extreme torture ready for you both, fellas..." he sighs...

Heart not really in it anymore with the First herself, beat...Knowing already the likelihood of victory with these two clowns...

"Hi, I'm Odai..." Odai waves...

"Joseph...Of Wolfram-Hart, Inc..." Joseph nods...

Formerly the dark soul of Joseph Stalin...Nice to meet ya...

"We have summoned you, spirit of Hell..." Qusai begins...

Yeah, yeah...Joseph waves a hand...Your dad told me all about it...

"By the way...He's not too thrilled with you, Odai...And you damned well know why..."

Qusai grins...

Or, you, kid...Joseph eyes Qusai sternly...

"You both betrayed him...Gave away his whereabouts...And your dad, like me in my prime, is not one to forget and forgive..."

Not to mention this lil' scheme...he eyes Saddam's frozen corpse...

"Hardly the way to win your dad's affection, boys..."

However...He shrugs...

Hell has a stake here...The Slayer has decided to involve herself in this little affair...Thanks to some governmental screwups...

"The Slayer...?" Qusai looks at Odai...Who looks at the mural...Hmmn...Nice gams...

"Not that it'll do the slightest good now...But what the hell, we may as well give it a shot...Maybe our assistance'll help you briefly spoil her day..." Joseph looks down...

"Joseph...?" Qusai stares...Not exactly the kind of gung-ho, shoot-them-all-before-allowing-a-retreat spirit he'd expected...Why, back when he'd urged Dad to invade Iran...

Sorry...Just being realistic, fellas...Joseph pauses...Ok...

"So...You want your dad up and about for a little while...Zombie state'll do, I suppose...?"

Unless you'd like to try for vamp...? Or even the brass ring...Full resurrection...?

Hmmn...Vamp Dad ripping our throats out...Human resurrected dad stuffing us in the shredder...

"Zombies take orders, right...?" Qusai hastily asks...

More...Or less...Joseph nods...

Whoa...What a nice...Odai, carefully scanning the mural of the Slayer at bay...A fanciful rendition by a hell minion of the First, given as a present to Saddy on his last birthday...

Hmmn...Well, I was gonna tell President Bush the rumors about me were all lies...As proven by my assistance in targeting Dad and my fiendish younger brother...Be very polite and dutifully horrified at Dad's crimes to Mrs. Bush...And exert my charms over those Bush girls and Ms. Rice...

No reason I couldn't give this "Slayer" a whirl as well...I mean...Odai Hussein, here...World's leading stud...he thought, an-Angelic smile breaking out...

What the hell's nut boy up to now...? Qusai frowns at his serenely smiling brother...

Kinda of a "Slayer" myself...Odai grins happily...In affairs de coeur...And literally, as well, if it comes to that...

Or has the fool finally gone catatonic at last...? Qusai glares...

And I've a graveyard full of undeserving old girlfriends to prove it...Odai notes to himself...

"Odai...!" his brother whacks him... "Pay attention...!"

Joseph regards them with resignation...

Great...Hell's last feeble throw of the dice...

Part V...

A landing strip at a newly acquired coalition airbase in the Iraqi western desert...Just after nightfall...

"Sure you're all right, Will?..." an anxiously Buffy twists in her wheelchair to look up at him as her new minted fiancee pushes her carefully towards the large tent where Riley is organizing a meeting for his guests with the local command of special Ops in the area...

"Fine, dear heart, just fine...Just an upset tummy..."

Pity it had to be full of blood...he sighs...So sorry about the mess...

Hmmn...Blood loss...And he does look a leetle extra pale...Buffy anxiously eyes her intended...

"Xander?..." she calls him over, waving...Asking William to hold up a mo...

"You do got the extra blood I asked you to bring?..."

On ice...Xander nods, patting the cooler he's carrying...

With my beer...He does not say...

Hey, weight and space limitations...And he'd thoughtfully included bottles of the ladies' favorite sodas...

"Great...Thanks..." Buffy beams...Willow and Kennedy, newly come up to them, look round...Hmmn...Lota sand...

Lota...Lota sand...

"Will..." Buffy turns...Hissing to him... "Make sure you grab a pouch the moment you can...We can't be sure how long we'll be able to keep it out here..."

Right, love...Don't fret...he pats her...

"Are you doing all right...?" he asks a leetle anxiously in turn...

Heat's not getting you down too much, is it...?

"I'm fine..." Buffy nods... "But thanks for askin'...Love..." she beams...

"So...This is Iraq..." Anya notes...Looking round...

Lota sand...

Yeah, Willow agrees...Lota sand...

"Wow..." Dawn comes up, Andrew following, dragging the three-weeks' worth of clothes she'd insisted on forcing Riley to approve for transport...

"Whata place!...This is so neat!..." she looks round...

Just look at all the sand...The beaches must be incredible...

"What?..." she frowns at Willow, Buffy, William...As they look at her...

Xander, Anya, Kennedy rather inclined to her pov...

"I'm not stupid, ya know...Iraq has a little coastline...A coupla of big lakes with beaches...Rivers..."

The Fertile Crescent, watered by the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers...Cradle of Civilization...she notes solemnly...Eyeing Andrew, who's just come up with more of her luggage...He nods, rather proudly...Lesson learned...

With some very nice beaches...And great places to tan...she concludes...

Heh...She sniffs and heads for the tent...Summoning Andrew, who follows her...Lugging her bags...

"Nibs has been applying herself...I thought this trip'd be good for her..." William notes...

"I dunno if I like this thing with Andrew..." Buffy shakes her head, eyeing him narrowly as he follows after Dawn... "Crush or no crush..."

Crush...? Anya looks at Xander...I thought Dawn was just sharpening her dominatrix skills...

Dawny can handle him...William replies, reassuringly...Resuming his push of her chair towards the tent as the others follow...

"Hell, she handled Spike on her lonesome pretty well, pet..." he grins...

Baghdad...Saddam's super-secret bunker and sex palace...

"So..." Qusai eyes the manuscript a rather bleary-eyed, inattentive, newly returned Joseph has passed him...

This will allow Dad's corpse to walk among us, again...Under my... (Our!...Odai hastily and angrily interjects)...Control?...

Yeah, yeah...He'll walk, he'll sit up straight...As a board...Joseph giggled slightly...As will other parts...

Really?... Odai stares...Wow...Dad would be grateful...He'd been worried about his...Prowess as of late...At least according to the info his doc spilled under torture...

Has he been drinking?...Qusai stares at Joseph...Who seems a bit more rumpled and somewhat unsteady on his feet...

"So...You guys wanta go ahead and try it out...Or no?..." he asks...

Cause I got lots to do...

Lots...To do...he repeats...Vaguely...

"Plentya paperwork back at my law firm...And I gotta work at it now, I guess..." he sighs...

Nothin' else left to me...Now...

"You sure you trust this guy...?" Odai hisses to his brother...

I mean competencywise...

"I heard that, punk!..." Joseph calls, annoyed...

Lemme tell you something, punk!...In my day...I'da had wimpy wusses like you shot...No waiting, no delays...

"Hell, you wouldn't even have made it in my law firm...As an office boy..."

Shot...Right through the backa da head...he puts a forefinger to the rear of his bald skull...

"Though now...I couldn't even take the chancea killin' even you there...Firm's all I got...Now..." he shakes his head sadly, his futile rage fading back into despair ...

"Well..." Odai senses a whipped type when he sees one...Having seen so many... "You better watch yourself, Mr. Joseph, in our place...Or you might not get back to that..."

Oh, boys...Joseph sadly sits down, clearly a broken whatever he was...

"I just saw the First in Hell the other day...Dear God or whatever...She was so...Shattered..."

Even talked well of Buffy...How much she admired...Joseph dropped his head in his hands...

Admired!...Her...

"She wants to try and be more like her now...Turn over a new leaf in Hell!..." he sighs...

My God...Gettin' beat...On the big One...That was bad enough...But this...This is just...Humiliating...

He rises, agitated...

"Boys...Ya got win one...Anything...No matter how small...Ya gotta ...For the sake of Evil's dignity..." he trembles...

But...I know, it's over...It's all over...Like this little tinhorn empire of your Dad's...

He begins despairingly singing, warbling as the boys watch in shock...

"Boys, the way the Master killed...(A fond look in his eye...)

The time we thought Darla'd had Angel drilled...

Lord, we all thought Evil had it made...

Those were the days.

You didn't know who was who then...

Demons turning into girls and men...

Mister, we could use a man like Richard Wilkens again...(he firmly nods...Good ole Dick...B'aal rest his soul...)

Broodo wouldn't've held out long...

The First sure did look good in thong...(She modeled for that mural by the way...he notes)

But somewhere it all went...wrong...(he's back to despair...)

Those...were... the...days..."

He stumbles to a desk chair, put his bald, death's head down, and begins sobbing...

Odai eyes Qusai...Hmmn...

"Why don't I go check the strategic situation reports topside why you test out ole Zombo Dad?..." he brightly suggests...

Part VI...

The head of Special Operations for the area, a very Christopher Walken-like colonel coldly eyes the "special team" Agent Finn has brought in...Under the highest priority...

A blonde, short, cute but slightly weary-looking girl in white blouse and shorts in a wheelchair, sweating profusely, attentively pushed by a young, good-looking, but rather slight fellow in black T-shirt and jeans...Remarkably cool-looking in the night heat...A short, red-haired cutie in tank top and shorts, holding hands with a long-haired brunette...Rather fit-looking at least...Likewise in tank top and shorts...Both sweating and trying not to gulp down the water in their bottle-packs too fast...

The English guy in khaki who seemed to know what he was doing...who'd entered earlier with Agent Finn and his wife...The rather hot Samantha in black night desert fatigues... The young dark-haired guy with eye-patch and what seemed to be his blonde-brown girl beside him...Taller than their friends...Both looking reasonably fit...The girl not only rather nice-looking in khaki blouse and shorts, but rather well-prepared with several water-bottles attached to her belt, survival kit pouch...

And finally, the oddest members of the little "team"...Some brown-haired teenager in blouse and shorts, with pith helmet and netting, looking eagerly round the tent, chatting at machine-gun speed to some bizarre little guy lugging what must be her suitcases...The guy, decked out like Lawrence of Arabia in flowing robes...

The colonel gives Agent Finn a narrow glance...

Still, word from on high was to give these clowns every possible assistance...Confirmed several times by the holiest-of-holies...After his staff's rather frantic calls to check...

Riley steps forward and takes the floor...

"Folks...Let me introduce Colonel Mathias Braddock, our local special ops head..."

The colonel nods severely...

"Colonel, Ms. Buffy Summers...The Slayer..." Finn presents Buffy...The colonel gives a cold nod to Buffy...

Slayer, eh?...

"Tougher than she looks, sir..." Riley grins...

"And her team...Likewise rather deceiving in appearance..." he introduces the others...

The colonel glances over each, fixing on William...

"So..." he consults his report on the "special team"... "You are William the Broody...?"

What!...William chokes...The others staring...Buffy looks narrowly at Riley who represses a smile...

"Bloody, mate..." Catching Finn's little smile, he now glares at Riley as well...

Musta been a typo in the report...Riley grins...Looking innocently at the wall...

"Whatever..." the colonel frowns... "You are stated here to be a vampire...A human-souled vampire?..."

Absolutely...Certified human-souled...Buffy firmly insists...

"Sir..." Riley chimes in... "You are aware of our Initiative operations..."

"Fully aware, Finn..." the colonel glares... "But my concern here is with the mission...How can we count on a vampire?... "Human-souled"...Or no..."

Buffy gives a narrow, Slayer glare...Oh-oh...Willow thinks...

"William has put his existence on the line many times, colonel..." she coldly notes...

"All well and good, Ms. Summers..." the colonel coldly stares back... "But I am referring to his natural limitations...He can't go out in daylight...Our primary operational time is daylight..."

"This operation, colonel..." Buffy glares back... "Will be carried out at the time of our choosing...And we work best at night..."

The colonel gives Riley a slight, nodding glance...Not bad...

He turns to Andrew...Who looks a bit...Dawn firmly holding his hand...

"And, you...Sir...Just what is your..." he eyes the robes and headpiece... "Speciality in this group...?"

"Andrew is one of our technical experts...Science and the occult..." Dawn replies, rather sternly...

"Very expert..." Willow chimes in...Smiling at Andrew...

"Mr...?" the colonel addresses Andrew, moving back to the report left on the table...

"Tucker's brother..." Buffy explains...

The colonel shakes his head...

"And Ms...Rosenberg...?" he reads from the report...

The powerful Wic...What?

"Wiccan..." Willow steps forward...

Witch...she explains...

"Yes..." Giles cuts in... "Our Willow is extremely powerful, Andrew is quite expert, all of us have been tested many times, colonel...Now...You've read the report and heard from your superiors...Do you want our help? And shall we get on with the business...Or shall we get back on our plane and go home...?"

I assure you, sir...We are all very much ready for the mission...But given our recent battles, we would just as soon return home and enjoy the rest we've all earned...he finishes sternly...

"I see..." the colonel gives them all another sweeping look... "Well, it seems you all come with the highest recommendations...We'll see if you're up to your reputation..."

But...he adds harshly...

"Remember that this is a war zone, people...And you...All of you...Are under martial law here...And under my command...So...I expect you to comply with martial law and to follow my orders...Understood?..."

They all nod...Not bad, Will hisses to Buffy...

"All right then...Down to business..." the colonel has maps brought out...

"Our last report on Target Uno-A's location... was here..." he points...

Baghdad...the bunker...

"Not bad..." Odai eyes the staggering, slow moving Saddam corpse...

Reluctantly having stayed for the test run at Qusai's insistence...

Make him move his arms...Like he's ranting a speech...he turns to Qusai...Who chants...

The corpse stiffly waves arms...Flailing about...

Joseph, a bit sobered up, watches indifferently...

Ain't gonna change a thing...Summers'll laugh down her socks at this one...Probably catch it and have it put on exhibition...

Still, might be nice to watch her deal with the boys...

"Can he speak...?" Odai looks at Joseph who shakes his head...Some limits with zombs, fellas...

"That's ok...Best if we go on using the tape machine...I've had it fixed..." Qusai notes...

"Great...Say...Lets get Dad set up for a speech...We can run it on TV tonight...Even have some of the guys in attendance..." Odai eagerly suggests...

Not a bad idea, bro...Qusai nods...

"Best to move to another spot, fellas..." Joseph warns... "The US is gonna target this one this morning...In about five hours..."

They're gonna blast this place?...Odai eyes the sex murals...

Such a tragic loss of great art...Those barbarians...! he fumes...

"Well, there are plenty of presidential bunkers around as yet..." Qusai notes...No problem...

Just gotta get word to the commanders...Some of them anyway...

Odai...? Wanta take a little trip round town...See the sights while they're still standing?...he eyes his brother...

"Sure..."

Hell...Why not...Probably safer than staying in one spot now for any length of time, anyway...he reflects...

Pray Allah a commander with a chip on his shoulder gets a few guts when Odai comes calling alone...At some moment when the Yanks are bombing and no one's sure what's going on...Qusai hopefully thinks...

"Ok, fellas...I'll try to check in later from LA..." Joseph gets up... "But remember, my power is very limited now..." a catch in his voice... "And the First is powerless..." the tears well up...

Oh, Allah...Not another depressing chorus of that song...the boys think...

"Well, Joseph, we thank you for your assistance...We're sure our restored Dad will lead us to victory..." Qusai hastily cuts off Jseph's sad ruminations...

Yeah...Sure...Joseph shakes his head...

Oh...He pauses...

"Remember...You gotta feed your dear ole "Dad" with human flesh...About one pound...Preferably brain...Every twenty-four hours to keep him docile...Else he'll try to get it himself...Anywhere he can..."

The boys stare at each other...Oh, well plenty of corpses around...Prisoners...And there's always unwilling volunteers available from the loyal Iraqi people...

"See ya fellas...Good luck...Tell Ms. Summers, before she kills you...the First says hi..."

Part VII...

"And I say...We go tomorrow...Soon as it gets dark..." Buffy frowns over the rickety metal table on which maps of central Iraq and Baghdad were spread...Trying to rise from her chair a bit...

"And I say...We wait until we get some kind of confirmation from Uncle Sam's boys here that our friend "Target Uno-A"..." William rolls his eyes... "Is somewhere in that hell-hole of a capital..."

Urgh...Buffy turns a bit Slayer dark...

Will staring back at equal intensity...

The colonel eyes Riley, then Giles...Are they always...? his expression says...

Always...Giles' expression replies silently...

"You're just trying to keep me out of it..." Buffy glares at her intended...

"Until the capitol falls and we know what the hell we're about here...Yes..." Will replies...

Jesus, girl...A little self-respect...he frowns...

"You just beat the First...You gonna let the Slayer be taken out...Probably by friendly fire at that...While trying to roll her way through a city full of trigger-happy fanatics?..."

She assumes a questioning pout...

"You'd push me, wouldn't you?..." a wistful look...A quick smile at Willow...

"Damn, you girl..." he begins...

Samantha cuts in...All "let me solve this little problem for you, guys..." smiles...

"Buffy...I really think William might be right to suggest we wait...Our troops are nearly ready to resume their advance..."

And we should wait to get detailed info on Hussein's and his sons' whereabouts...she nods...

The colonel frowns slightly...Caution doesn't win wars...

"However...While we shouldn't risk the whole team...Maybe you, William, Willow, Riley, and I could get into position in the capitol...In one of our safe houses..."

Then, in a few days...The others could come up...she finishes...Beaming...

Hmmn...Willow...And Kennedy...Exchange dark looks...As do Dawn and Andrew...

Bet she's a demon in disguise...The First's First cousin or somethin'...Willow thinks...Just been waitin' her chance...Bitch...

What the hell's she mean cutting my honey out of the action?...

Who does she think she is...Cutting us out?...Dawn eyes Andy...Who shakes his robes in frustration...

Yeah..."Come up...In a few days..."...Who does she think we are...?

Xander frowning as well...

Anya however is quite content...

"Well..." Riley catches the general discontent among the rest of the troops...

"Our occult experts might be best employed checking the data we've gotten so far...But I would imagine they could come up within a day..."

"Unless Andrew chooses to teleport..." Dawn notes proudly, defending the prowess of her team partner...

"Teleportation has become his forte..." she asserts...

Willow gives Buffy a nervous glance...No!...No 'portin' for Andy...Not after that last try last week...Geesh...

Don't worry...Buffy's look replies...No way...

"I think it would be best to go the normal way...Soon as you guys've looked over the latest stuff..." the Slayer notes...Hastily...

"Within the day, of course...So long as things seem ok..."

And once we've secured a safe place to operate from...she eyes William...Tomorrow...

Urgh...He gives a last glare...But gives it up...

Any more and she'll go alone with Ward and June, he knows...Eyeing the Finns...

"Very well..." the colonel brings the meeting back on track... "Finn, you and Sam will guide...The Slayer..." A slight degree of disdain creeping in that calls glares from William, Giles, Xander, Dawn, and Willow... "And her first team to the location you determine in Target Uno-C...The rest will follow on in with my selected people after reviewing tomorrow night's intelligence..." He gives Dawn a slight, very faint, extremely brief smile...Dawn returning...Ok...

Target Uno-C?...she looks at Andrew... Baghdad-C for capitol-he hisses back...His expertise in ridiculous codes coming to his aid...

"All right, people...I suggest dinner...And a quick retirement...We all have a busy day tomorrow before nightfall's operation..." the colonel turns to Dawn, a full smile this time... "If you'd care to accompany me to the mess tent, we'll see if the cooks have managed to turn their usual slop into something palatable..." Offering an arm...Which she takes...Andrew glaring as they head out...Giles with Riley and Sam, Willow and Kennedy, Xander pausing by Buffy...

Careful tomorrow...he sternly eyes her...With his one good eye...Anya beside him...Still rather pleased at the way the assignments had been handed out...

Hey, lots to live for just now...and by that she meant not just property lots...

"I'll watch it...Big Brother..." Buffy pats him...

And William...she grins at her still frowning fiancee...Won't let me do anything foolish...

"Already lost that battle..." he glares...As Xander and Anya head out...

"I love you, too..." she smiles at him...

And I will be careful, honey...she eyes him...Squeezing a hand...

"Just couldn't look squeamish...Especially with the chair and all...In front of those military types..."

The Slayer must maintain her rep...Or those military-governmental clowns'll be walking all over us...

"Or having us all killed for interfering with the first Initiative..." she notes...

"Inspiring...Truly inspiring..." one of the more dimwitted commanders notes to Odai as the group assembled for Zombie Hussein's first TV appearance breaks up...Looking over at where the Leader beams at the departing guests...Waving stiffly as Qusai stands by him...

"Yes..." Odai beams... "Inspiring..."

Indeed, the best damn speech Dad ever gave...he thinks...And all's gone real well...Except that Joseph had forgotten to tell them Zombie Dad required a first time feeding...

But then, they'd've had to have the doc tending him taken care of later anyway...And Zombie Dad had eaten his brain before the guests showed...So it had all worked out well...

And the doc's med tech assistant had been quite happy to accept his promotion to "doctor and chief attending physician to the Leader"...

A couple more commanders pause by him...He eyes them...A little more intelligent than the one he's been talking to...They seem relatively satisfied, however...

"I hope...Gentlemen..." he fixes them with a glare... "That you will carry out Dad's orders and hold your positions to the last...Er...To our final victory..."

They look at each other...Eh, what the hell, the Yanks'll bowl us over in a day or so anyway...

"Absolutely, sir..." one notes solemnly...They slip out quickly...

Qusai comes forward...The last two commanders, being in charge of the troops covering the northern oilfields...His most important potential chips...Are the most important to him right now...

"Odai...Dad wants a word..." he pats his brother on the shoulder...Eyeing him...

Odai glares...What's bro up to?...But complies...

Gives him a chance to practice for meeting the Bushes anyway...Not like Dad'll mind listening in his current state...

How do you do, Miss Bush?...So very nice to meet you, Mrs. Bush...I deeply regret my father's terrible crimes, Mr. Bush...But what could I do except work behind the scenes against him?...He flashes his most charming smile at dear ole Zombie Dad...Who maintains a stiff smile on his face...Still waving at the departing officials...

Qusai looking back at him as he pauses in his conference with the northern commanders...Whatever you do gentlemen, don't let the nuttier types blow the wells...he hisses...They nod, heading out...

What the hell is that nut up to?...

Oh yeah...Odai beams at still-waving, glassy-eyed Dad...By next May, it's son-in-law Odai visits the White House to advise his dad-in-law the President on Iraqi affairs...

And advises that his maniac brother be put on trial for his war crimes asap...

Part VIII...

The sky above "Target Uno-C"...Just after sunset, the following night...Aboard a transport helicopter...

"I'll be fine...!" Buffy loudly insists to a more nervous than ever William...Shouting over the sounds of the propellers above them...The Finns and Willow checking their gear beside them...

"I must be out of my 144 year old mind to let you do this...!" he sighs...Shouting back...

"Willow's spell will let me walk for a short distance...Probably all the way to the safe house..." Buffy points out... "And the chair will be with our stuff if it wears off..."

Oh...She suddenly looks at him...Having calculated...

"Will!..." she shouts...Cupping her hands... "You were only twenty-one when you died...!"

"Yeah!..." he hollers back...

Oh...She pats him...My poor honey...

Phew...She thinks...So...Humanwise, it having been 1880, he musta been practically a virgin...

No wonder Spike clung to Dru all those years...

"And so, dropping my vamp years...We're just the right age for each other...!" he notes, hollering again...

Yeah!...she grins...Nodding...

Still don't see why my girl couldn'ta come...Willow frowns to herself...

"All set, Willow?...!" Sam calls to her, beaming...

"Oh, yeah...!" Willow beams back...

Bitch...

"We're nearly at the drop coordinates!..." Riley hollers... "Everyone set?"

A chorus of shouted yes...

The copilot shouts back to him, pointing...Equipment on the way down, time to go!...

"Ok!...Lets go!..." Riley calls...Sam moves up and jumps, Willow following...

"After you, pet...!" William hollers to Buffy...Who moves a bit stiffly, grabbing him for a last hug and quick peck...

"Iloveyou!..." she yells... "Watch out for wooden stuff on the way down!..." he gives her a thumbs' up as Riley helps her jump...

"See ya below!" Riley calls to Will as his turn comes... "Remember...If we get separated...Our contact is Kalidah...!"

Right!...Will jumps into the darkness...Followed by Riley...

The desert airbase in western Iraq where the gang had arrived the previous night...

Dawn, Andrew, Xander, Anya, Giles, Colonel Braddock, and staff cluster around the radio awaiting word...

"Target deployed...! On site!..." the copter pilot's voice crackles back to them...

"They've been dropped?..." Giles eyes the colonel...Who nods impassively...

"How long before we hear anything?..." Xander asks anxiously...

"Could be minutes...Hours...A day..." Colonel Braddock notes...

We're still going tomorrow, right?...Dawn asks hastily...

Absolutely...the colonel nods...Unless...The mission must be terminated...

"You mean...As in, you bring Buffy and the others back...?" Dawn looks at him...

Giles eyes him as well...Colonel...his stare cautions...

"Absolutely..." Braddock nods...

Both Xander and Giles flashing quick, grateful looks...

"Hopefully not in body bags..." Andrew notes...Dawn nods...

The others break the glare that they'd begun at Andy to stare...Dawn?...

"Hey...It's a war zone, right?..." she shrugs...

And my sis is the Slayer...I'm kinda use to this sort of thing, guys...

"Sides...She always comes through...Intact..." she notes firmly...Andrew nodding as well...Shaking his robes...

"Andrew...Would you please take that ridiculous outfit off?..." Giles frowns at him...

"Giles..." Dawn frowns at the Watcher in turn... "Whatdaya talking about?...He looks great..."

"I chose it for him...So he could blend in when we get into town...I got the same stuff in my suitcase..."

Baghdad...Yet another presidential bunker...

Hmmn...Qusai stares at the map...Lets see...Where's the best place to await the surrender...?

He looks over to Odai...Watching CNN...With Zombie Hussein in a chair nearby...

Soon as I can give dear ole nut boy and zombo Dad the slip...

"CNN says the Brits are still stuck outside Basra..." Odai calls happily...

And the Yanks are still having supply problems...They think our strategy should be to keep hitting the refueling columns...Ok that I should call the southern command and tell 'em?...

Why not?...Qusai shrugs back...

"Thank Allah for CNN and their real-time analysis..." Odai nods at the screen...Picking up his cell phone...

Hmmn...Another call from my CIA contact...he notes, looking at the log of calls...Better get back to him soon before they start to think I'm not sincere about selling Dad and younger bro out...

"I think it may be gettin' near Dad's feeding time..." he calls back to Qusai... "How's about I take him for a walk outside?...We're sure to run into someone he can eat..."

Baghdad...A deserted stretch of field near a riverbank...That night...

Okay...Buffy looks round...Walking stiffly...

Made it...And Willow's spell is holding...Even if I can't feel a thing below my upper thighs...Now if I can just find William and the guys...Please God, let him be safe...

Or else, Pal...Cause if You're thinking about screwing with my romantic life this time...You better remember what happened to the First...

Not meaning to be ungrateful for the mostly happy outcome of my biggest battle of course...And anyway...Thank You I can still feel where it counts...What with my upcoming wedding and all...

Be a shame to have gone to all this trouble finding my true love, his recovering his soul, and still not being able to move beyond the platonic...

Though Angel would probably laugh his pointy-haired head off at us...she frowned...And stumbling as one foot went into a small hole blasted into the field, fell..Damn!...

Yuck!...she spits the mud out of her mouth, trying to twist herself face up...

Fallen...And I can't get up...Again not meaning to be ungrateful...Did I have to go through this little trial...?

Well, Giles did say the paralysis would wear off...Eventually...With a lot of physical therapy...

Gotta try and get up...Come, magically stimulated legs, get moving...No good...she sighs...

Damn...When William finds me like this...

"I told you so..." for the rest of my natural life...Say, where's my transmitter...Damn...Musta fallen out into the muck...She twists round, trying to feel for it in the mud...Nothing...

Well, nothin' to do about it...Say where the hell are the guys, anyway...?...Well, best not to start calling...Yet...

Hmmn...Wonder if the patrols ever come out here...That would be nice...My first government-authorized mission over before it starts...The Slayer taken by Saddam's troops...

His angry, vengeance-seeking troops...Hmmn...

"Will...?" she hisses...

"William...?" a bit louder...

Whoops...Was that a gunshot?...Oh, yeah...

Maybe best to can the calling for a...

He'll find me eventually...Supersenses, hyperdevoted romantic...Oh yeah...

God...If you let him get killed...The minute I can get my hands on You...I am gonna take You by Your damned beard...If you got one...And...

It starts to rain...

Very funny...she glares up...

Oh, where the hell is he...? Or any of them?...

"William?..." she tries cautiously...

"Where the hell is she...?" William hisses to Willow...Having made his second careful circuit of the area where the others had landed within a few feet of each other...

"I'm trying...Gimme a sec..." Willow hisses back...

"Don't worry, William..." Sam cheerily notes... "The Slayer will be fine..."

Riley off to seek their contact...And scout for Buffy...

William glares at the woman who had led his intended into this insanity...

Well, an eye for an eye would apply here...he thinks...Or in this case...A wife for a wife...

Though Ms. Finn's demise would hardly begin to make up for my losing my Buffy...

"I think I may have got something..." Willow whispers...

That...She blinks as William races off in the direction of her point...

"That's so great, Willow...Good job..." Sam beams at her...

I am gonna hold her up for Iraqi target practice if she doesn't lay off...Willow thinks...

Part IX...

The special ops HQ tent at the western desert airbase...

The remaining gang with Colonel Braddock and his people huddle by the main radio awaiting word of the fate of the Slayer and her "first team"...

As they all wait, Dawn holds the staff spellbound with the dramatic and romantic tale of the First's defeat...And her sis' finally getting things straight with her feller...

"So..." she pauses... "It seemed like we'd won again...Buffy had the Death's scythe in hand...She'd mowed down the First's first group of Uber-vamps, no prob...But little did we suspect..." Dramatic pause... "That the First had planned for the Slayer to obtain the Scythe all along...And hadn't even told her top dog, Caleb of her true master plan..."

Wanting his fear of the Scythe to push Buffy into taking it without hesitation...

"But...The First knew that only the Slayer...Rooted physically in our world, but with her dark link to the First...Her strength having been taken from the First way back when the First Slayer came to be...Could wield the weapon that would really make the Apocalypse come true..."

Hell, even we coulda taken out the Ubie army...Just freeze 'em and expose 'em all to daylight...

"Andy's plan by the way..." she gives Andrew a fond, proud smile as he beams...

"I'd've recommended use of a tactical nuke..." the colonel notes...

"Civilian population in proximity, colonel...Not an option..." Dawn replies...He nods...

"So..." she resumes... "The First was just waitin' her chance...And when Buffy had begun to unlimber with the Scythe and we were busy kickin' the Harbringers' asses...And Caleb had turned to quivering jello at the sight of the Slayer with the big one...She made her move...Just as she'd planned all year..."

Playin' on Sis' ego as well...The Slayer couldn't be possessed, oh, no...Dawn shakes her head...

Faith went down first...Naturally, the First/Buffy saw her as the most dangerous...But fortunately the blow was only glancing...She'll recover...

"It musta been awful..." a wide-eyed sergeant notes... "When the Slayer was possessed..."

"She looked preety Evil..." Dawn nods...As do the others, remembering...

"But hell, I've seen her when she was mad at me for ruining some of her best clothes...The First's evil look couldn't compare..." Laughs all around...

"But then, how...?" A lieutenant asks...

"William..." Dawn notes solemnly...

"He'd been watching her all along, it somehow having occurred to him that things were going too easy...And that there musta been a reason why the First had been taking Buffy's form in so many of her visitations to him...Besides even her wantin' to torment him and win his soul over to the Dark Side..."

He grabbed the Scythe and the amulet one had to wear to wield it while the First was still fully setting up...And called to Willow to help with an exorcism spell...

"Well..." She eyes the group as a whole... "The First, seein' that he had the amulet on and held the Scythe...And that Willow was ready to cast...Went to Plan B...And possessed him..."

Not that Will's body could really use the Scythe for long...Too much power even for a mighty vamp like WTB...But he could take the Slayer and her army out in the time he'd have...

"But..." Dawn hesitates...Holding for just the right time...As experienced storyteller Andrew proudly observes...

"Will hadn't fought with Spike a hundred years and overcome him to some extent with the chip's help not to be able to give the First some resistance..."

He held her back, and called on Buffy, his beloved and us...To destroy him...And the First inside him...

"Buffy, recovering from her possession, looked him right in the eye...And we could all see the love she'd been waiting to express, right there..."

Then the First won control...As she was bound to, given her Hell power and all...And taunted the Slayer...

"..."What, Slayer...Are you gonna finally kill me, too?...The one you love...And you and I know it, Buffy...Are you inhuman enough...Is there enough of me in you...To do that?..." the First sneered at her..."

"..."William!..." she screamed... "I love you!..."..."

But...She raised her stake...Dawn tenses...

"..."I will find you again...Somewhere...My darling..." she moved on the First..."

He raised the Scythe...But Will fought on...Slowing her down...

"He looked at her... "Hurry..." he managed to gasp out... "Do it, my love..."...he choked out..."

The group held its breath...

"Then... "No!..." Buffy screamed... And grabbed him, wrenching the Scythe from his hand... "I won't let you go...!"... "You won't take him from me...!"..."

They fought...The First trying to reach the Scythe...

"Which I kicked away..." she notes proudly... "To Andrew, who grabbed it up..."

While Willow had to fight Caleb who'd recovered his guts seeing what the First was up to...She managed to get him in a binding field while we fought the remaining Bringers...Who were trying a last ditch assault...

"Poor Buf...She could feel the First draining away her strength, taking back her dark edge as it held her in its grip...But she couldn't give that final blow that would've finished poor Will as well as the First in his body..."

But then, just as she collapsed, drained of her strength, paralyzed...The First determined to at least deal with her once and for all, even if the Apocalypse was lost and she'd had to be "shufflin' off this mortal coil" in defeat...Not just by killin' her...Dawn explained...By making her watch the one she loved, destroyed...By the Slayer's own friends...And...Duty...

The First leered...Awaiting the fatal blow as Buffy watched...Helpless...But Buffy realized...She and the First were linked...They shared memories, existence...Not just the Slayer's strength and Dark Side...

Even her love for William...There was a reflection of that in the First now...

"Not to mention, a healthy sense of self-preservation...Which musta made dying just to hurt Buf seem a bit much..."

And Willow was free to deal with her now...She could see her moving up...

"... "You don't want him dead either...You love him too...We are One..."...Buffy called to the First as it stood over her..."

"Leave him to me...And go...You've lost...Don't let him go too...You know he won't go with you..."

And the First eyed her...Dawn paused...

"... " He's mine...And I will find him in Heaven...Whatever you do to us now..."Buffy eyed the First..."

Who hesitated...Just as Willow hit her with the exorcism spell...

"And drove her out...Drained herself...Owing to the effort in trying to take possession twice and keep Caleb supercharged..."

Then...? one corporal asks...

Then Willow hit her with the corporealization spell...She took physical form as a twin of Buffy, but utterly drained now...I tossed the Scythe back to Will who was back in control...And he cut her head off, sending the First back to Hell...Forever...

"Then he went to Buffy...And well..." she smiles...

The wedding will be in August...

"Two Weeks at Saddy's..."

Part X...

These things happen in operations like these...Samantha makes sympathetic noises to an increasingly frustrated...And furious...William and Willow as they hunt cautiously through the area around their drop site for Buffy...

Rather looking to avoid allowing his rage to focus on the ever-cheerful Sam, William diverts a little to ole Red...

Her and her anti-paralysis spell...It was supposed to last long enough to get Buf to them...What the hell went wrong?...

If she hadn't been vain enough about her skill to offer the damned thing in the first place...He might've persuaded Buffy to stay behind at the base until things were more settled...Using the ole "can't endanger our dear little scoobs..." argument...But no...

Willow for her part, realizing the true focus of Will's frustration...Besides his headstrong own true, of course...Bares it well enough...Making sheepish noises until he calms...While occasionally noting she needed a chance to focus if she was to find the Slayer's location...

Glancing over to Mrs. Finn as she speaks...Who can't resist offering a steady stream of suggestions, gleaned from her work...All well and good ones, but a rather distracting stream of happy chatter just right now...

However, in keeping with her somewhat dense and sunny mood, Sam chooses to take Willow's broad hint as a request to pull William off...

Which as Willow reflects...Would probably be just as well...His grousing howls being nearly as distracting as Sam's bubbly helpfulness...Though far less annoying...

He calms enough to catch her look and allows himself to be walked away...

To survey the ground, using his superior vampiral senses, Sam solemnly notes...Which, despite the tragic nature of their acquisition, have clearly proven to be rather a blessing...she happily points out to him as they head off...

If Spike makes one last comeback, Willow thinks...Watching them...

I could be persuaded to look the other way...

Hmm...Rain seems to be gettin' worse...

About a mile from the drop site...By the river bank...

Buffy lies on the ground, fuming...Her legs, magically stimulated by Willow's spell, moving stiffly but not so flexibly as to get her back on her feet...

Probably broke the one that went into the hole at that...she thinks...

Maybe the bone's sticking right out now...Just can't feel it...she tries to look down, gives up...

Ok, ok...This was a stupid idea...I give...

Come and get me, honey...I'm ready to be rescued...

Now, please...The rain continues falling, soaking her ever more throughly...

"William?..." she tries a low-voiced call...

"Anybody?..." A bit louder...Iraqis are, after all, a civilized people, sure to instinctively sympathize with her plight...

"Help!..." a full-voiced Slayer yell...

Damnit William!...What kinda Victorian gent are you?...Letting your intended do something so stupid...Jump outta helicopter in the middle of a war with non-optimal legs...If the roles had been reversed, I woulda clubbed you one first...

Hmm...I hear...Somebody...

Doesn't sound quite like...

A slobbering growl, followed by a loud sniff...

"William?..." she calls, hopefully...

Unless...

"Oz?...That isn't you is it?..." You never know...And it does sound...

Play

"I'm singin' in the rain...Just singin' in the rain...Whata glorious feelin'..." Odai sings from under his umbrella as he has Zombo Dad stiffly hop about in the falling rain in a rather hideous travesty of Gene Kelly...As they stroll along the river bank...Dad having fed on a deserter they'd found attempting to slip out of the city with his girl...

The girl however...Being somewhat rudely unresponsive to dear Odai's friendly advances...Hell, her boyfriend had been a traitorous deserter for Allah's sake...He coulda had her shot or fed her to Dad...And just like the other three he'd encountered with Dad tonight...She'd spurned him...Had joined a small back-up of chorus dancers, female Odai had amused himself creating...

The spell manuscript...And his past viewing of zombie movies...Had suggested, after all...That zombies, despite their limitations...Could beget other zombies...By bite infection, apparently...All controllable via the original spell...So long as they received proper nourishment on a regular basis...

And to his delight...And the poor ladies' misfortune...The info had proven quite correct...

So that Dad was not alone in his dance number...The four zombie female offspring providing support as they staggered through the rain...

Of course, Odai comforted himself...If it had been daylight...And they'd had a chance to properly recognize him...

With a phalanx of brutal guards about...The ladies undoubtedly would have succumbed to his charms in a more normal fashion...

Still, even in zombie state...They remained rather hot...And Dad probably enjoyed the company...As much as he could just now...

He pauses, hearing a faint yelp for help...In English, he's certain...

The zombie dance troupe continuing their Gene Kelly tribute...

He summons them back, and into marching order...One never knows what dangers the next President of Iraq may face in these uncertain times...

They slowly follow him toward the source of the cries...Down by the river's edge...

He pausing to let them pass...

The future in-law of President Bush must take no chances if he is to help provide proper guidance later on in the reconstruction of his nation...

They halt in a circle around a muddy, matted area...With someone or something lying in the center...Twisting round in the muck...

"Hey...!" a call from the thing...He flashes a light...The clustered zombies awaiting instructions...

Buffy cranes her head up to see...Nope, not werewolves...

Part XI...

The western desert airbase...Now about 2am...

Giles eyes Colonel Braddock as they sit at the radio table...The others, except for a pacing Xander, sent off to bed...

"I assume they've had time to make contact by now..."

Braddock shrugs...

"Any number of reasons why they haven't checked in by their own transmitter...And their contact would be very hesitant to try us by any means but the courier route we've set up...The secret police were, at least til the attack, monitoring for unauthorized broadcasts..."

Xander comes back to them...Eyeing the radio...Willing it to...

A crackle...he rears back...Whoa...

Another example of the power of Love...

"This is...Ummn..." Willow's voice hesitates...

"ST-1...At Target Uno-C..."

Giles grabs the mike, startling both the colonel and Xander...For the past three hours he's been maintaining a perfect reserved cool...

"Willow?...Thank God...Are you all all right...?..." he sees Braddock frowning at him...

Oh, yes...Ummn...Roger?...he presses the mike...

"Well...Most of us are just dandy, Giles...Sorry for the delay in getting back to you...We were a little preoccupied...And it took a little while to find the equipment..."

"Preoccupied...?...How preoccupied?..." Giles anxiously asks... "Ummn...Over...?..."

Xander stands, breathless...Willow's voice has that unmistakable sheepish ring of impending black news...

"Well...We...Ummn...Sorta...Can't find Buffy...Ummn...Rupert...er...Roger..."

The three men look at each other...

"But Sam and William are out searching...And Riley was heading to make...Oh...He's back..." Willow pauses...

Braddock requests the mike...Sternly...Giles hands it over...

"Ms. Rosenberg...Put Mr. Finn on..." Riley's voice answers...A bit of static...

"What's your status, Finn...?" the colonel calls into the mike...

"All team members but Ms. Summers are accounted for...Equipment secured...I've made contact with our person on the ground in the area...We're nearly ready to move..." Riley replies...

Giles...? Xander eyes the Watcher...Who waves at him to calm...

"What is your plan for locating Ms. Summers...?" Braddock shouts a bit...

"Ms...Rosenberg is making a sensor sweep using her tracking spell, Hostile-17...er, Mr. Walthrop and Sam are still making a ground sweep..."

"Who the hell is "Mr. Walthrop"? Braddock asks Giles...

"William...The Bloody...Human name..." the Watcher explains...

"Buffy prefers we use it as much as possible...Makes him feel more at home in Humanity..."

"We may have to get the equipment out soon...But a couple of us will stay to track her..." Riley continues...

He should say "Over"...Willow eyes him as she stands by...Still trying to get a firm...Hmmn...

"Hey!..." she calls to Riley... "I think I got her!..."

"We may have something..." Riley speaks into the mike...

Hmmn...Say...

"She's moving...She must be on her feet..."

"Slayer is in motion..." Riley tells the mike...

Great...Still hobblin' round on her magic legs...Xander frowns, taking a chair...God, I hated this stupid spell idea...So did William...Why couldn't Buffy just once show us a little...

"But she's moving away from us...I don't get it...She's headin' for downtown, unless my map's wrong..."

"Slayer is enroute into Target Uno-C prime area..." Riley informs the mike...

"Strictly against the operational plan...What's she up to?..." Braddock frowns...

"Can you reach her by transmitter?..." he calls into his mike...

Shouldn't he be saying... "Over"? Giles eyes Xander...

"No response..." Riley replies...

"Wait a mo..." Willow calls...

I'm pickin something else up there with her...Something demony...she eyes Riley...

"Possible hostile in contact with Slayer..." Riley presses the mike...

Ok...Xander hops up...We're outta here...

The colonel raises a hand...

"Could it be... "Mr. Walthrop"?..." he asks into his mike...

Hmmn...Xander pauses...

"Nah..." Willow shakes her head at Riley... "William's aural signature stands out like a sore thumb with the human soul and vamp patterns and all..."

Negative...Riley calls into the mike...

Which way to Baghdad?...Xander moves towards the tent door...

"Mr. Harris!..." the colonel barks... "Wait..."

"We'll head out at the first opportunity but we'll do no good rushing out there like fools..."

"The colonel is right, Xander...Just wait a moment..." Giles eyes him...

And it's a bit of a walk...Especially at night...he notes...

The outer streets of Baghdad...About 3am

Buffy is being carried...Securely, more or less...Odai having cheated at his Iraqi Eagle Scout training by having another scout take his exam...Bound with rope...By two of the female zombies Odai has recently recruited...Dad's dignity naturally requiring that he not be reduced to helping to carry mere prisoners...

"So...The Slayer, I presume?..." Odai cheerily asks the bound but not gagged Slayer...Walking alongside her...

Sure looks like that mural...

"Put me down..." she glares at him...

"I am Odai Hussein...No doubt you're heard of me..." he beams...Pleased to have a chance to try out his English before his future encounters with the US High Command...Not to mention President Bush and family...

"I assure you..." he flashes a winning smile... "That you have fallen into the best possible hands..."

She twists a little to look at the zombie female porters...Hmmn...

"Gotta say I seriously doubt that...You do know your dates are dead, right?"

"Zombies..." Odai nods...

But very nice girls all the same...

"But my point is, Miss...Your superiors should have informed you...I am secretly on your side..."

A friend to Democracy and Human Rights...Working against my fiendishly evil father and sadistic younger brother...

Uh-huh...she eyes the zombies again...

"Unfortunate victims of my brother's evil dabblings in the occult..." Odai shrugs... "Tragic...But... Luckily for you, I have managed to continue to convince my brother that I remain on the side of Evil...He still trusts me enough to allow me to share in control of his unfortunate victims..."

Though, sadly...I could not intervene to save them...he looks down...

"As for Dad..." he looks back up brightly... "Well..." He eyes the lead zombie...Buffy twisting to see Zombie Hussein...

Crap...All this over a little zombification...? I was hopin' for a vamp Hussein at least...

"So..." she tries humoring the little nut... "If you control them, too...And you're on our side...Why don't you put me down and we head for the American lines...Or at least get me to a transmitter..."

Sadly...Miss...he shakes his head...I cannot take the risk of exposure just yet...

"Great issues are at stake...The future of my nation..." he nods solemnly...

I am sure...As the Slayer...Charged with awesome responsibility...You understand...

Hmmn...So she seems to be having a little trouble with the gams...From the parachute jump, perhaps?...

Nice...Hot and helpless...Just the way I like em...

However...One must consider the future of Iraq...And my role therein...

Unless of course she should choose to come on to me at some point once I've convinced her of my sincerity...

"I assure you...By the way, what is your name?...Slayer...I will see to your safety until the time is right for us to reach your people..."

"Buffy Summers...Thanks...But just where are you taking me anyway?..."

One of our many presidential bunker complexes...he tells her...Where you can be hidden in perfect safety, protected by my own personal guards...

The zombie troupe takes a sudden sharp turn...Hey!...Odai calls...

"What are you idiots doing?..." he yells...Attempting to summon them back on course...

Damn!...Must be that damned brother of mine...I shoulda known he'd keep master control in his hands...

"What's going on...?" Buffy cries...

"Just a minor difficulty Miss Summers...Not a thing to worry your little head over..." he hastens to keep up...

"Hey!...Help!..." she yells...As they carry her off down a side street, Odai racing after them...

God I hope I won't have to zombify her to please Qusai...he thinks, panting a bit as he hurries along...I mean the other dead girls were ok and all...But I sense a real kinship forming between me and the living Slayer...

Though...If it has to be...She'll still be quite a girlfriend to have round my bachelor pad...

'Worry my little head...'? Oh...Please let this guy be lying about being on our side...Buffy glares back at the stumbling Odai as he tries to keep up...

Part XII...

The outskirts of Baghdad...About two miles from the ST-1 (Slayer Team-1, natch) drop site...About 3:30 am...

"So..." Samantha Finn beams at William as they continue their latest sweep for Buffy... "Such an incredible story you have to tell, Mr. Malthrop..."

Walthrop...For the third time...he politely reminds her...

Damn this Victorian soul of mine sometimes...

"I mean..." she continues happily on, nodding...Sorry... "You've been lost for a century...Your soul...In Heaven?..."

"Not quite sure as to that...Haven't really had the time to sit down and try remembering..." he looks at her...

"Limbo maybe...? Our occult experts feel that's a very forgettable place...Whereas Heaven..."

Buffy was in Heaven, right...? she asks as they move along...William trying to concentrate...

"Yes, Heaven...Or so she believes...Please Mrs. Finn...Trying to focus here..."

Oh...That's so nice...she smiles...You're so devoted...A lot like my Riley...

And it's kinda neat to be called... "Mrs. Finn..." Not so many people do that nowadays...

"You know, I've always thought that if Riley got vamped...He'd be find a way to recover his soul and come back to me just like you and Mr. Angel..." she smiles...

William glares slightly... "Well..."Mr. Angel..."...Took a bloody curse...He didn't go seeking that soul of his..."

Not that Buf and I hold that against him...he notes...

Though...It might be nice if he'd get round to helping out poor ole Dru one of these days...

"But I guess that'll be a project for the Walthrops once we've got Buffy set back to rights..." he peered off...

"How long will her recovery take...?" Sam asks...

"Rupert...Mr. Giles...Feels it should take a few months...The physical therapy people seem to agree...Though naturally they told us they'd never seen a patient so strong in her other limbs or recover so much function so fast..." he notes rather proudly... "We had her on a respirator for two days after the battle, you know..."

Not an easy time for her...Which is why I signed off on this bloody idiotic field trip...he frowns...

"Buffy!..." he calls...

"We really should try to keep our calls a little more on the quiet side, Mr. Walthrop...William..." Sam hisses...

"It could be dangerous for her as well..."

Right...he sighs...

"She'll be fine...The Slayer's not likely to be downed by a little parachute jump and some minor dictator..." Sam smiles reassuringly...

"But as I was saying..." she continues... "I hope you don't mind, but I'm trying to compile as much demon-vamp history and lore as I can...Pumpkin...er Riley and I are thinking of doing a book someday..."

Pumpkin...? William blinks...

If we can get clearance...she notes...

"Anyway...Your story is just so incredible...A vampire who fought down his dark nature and then went off to seek soul restoration...All for love..." she beams...Shaking her head...

"Well...Buffy is a very special bird...er woman..."

Nah...he thinks...Can't be the First back to haunt us...Girl's much too annoying...

"But...You did say you have little memory of your soul's out-of-body existence...?" she eyes him...

"Can't rightly say that it's the same damned soul I had in 1880..."

Hmmn...Our data suggests that each human soul is unique...she looks at him...

"If you got yours back, it's likely to be the original..."

Really...? he ponders...

So what the hell was I doing all those years...? he struggles a bit, trying to remember...

Nope, nothing but memories of Spike and his slaughters...Best not dredged up, actually...Kept poor Buf awake all night last Thursday with the remorsemares and all...

Well...Better to leave all that for now...Might be interesting to have Willow or Giles check me out...Hypnosis perhaps...

"I think we'd best focus on Miss Summers for now..." he looks as Sam...

"Of course..." she nods brightly...

A faint cry in the distance reaches him...A familiar cry...He tenses...

"William?..." Sam stares at him...Looking rather like a dog catching a scent...

"That way!...Lets go!..." he points...

"Excuse me if I apply myself a bit, Mrs. Finn..." he calls out a hasty apology as he shifts to high speed...Leaving her behind in a rush...

Thanks ole girl...he mouths a hasty prayer of gratitude to poor ole Dru and her gifts...We will do what we can for you, I promise...

Amazing...Sam shakes her head...Watching him race ahead...

Pumpkin would probably have found me even faster though...

Baghdad...The western districts...Still another presidential bunker...

Qusai frowns as Odai and his little zombie troupe enter, with zombie Hussein in the lead and a young, blonde...Hmmn, oh my Allah?...The Slayer?...he stares...Carried, tied to a pole...Odai panting and glaring at his brother in turn...

"Put me down!...Now!..." Buffy hollers...Trying to get her magically stimulated legs to kick loose...No good...Can't get out of neutral gear it seems...

Well, Willow had warned her the spell wouldn't provide much in the way of speed or power...Just minimal walking for a limited time...

"Odai!..." Qusai eyes his brother...And the zombies...Now five in number...Four new...All females...

Of course...How else would moron boy get a date without his personal army of goons beside him?...

"What the hell have you been up to?...Where did these...Things...Come from!..."

"PUT ME DOWN...! OR YOU'RE ALL DEAD!..." Buffy bellows...

Odai signs for the zombies to lower her pole...She finds herself on the carpet, trying to twist free of the pole...He looks at Qusai...

"These ladies spotted Dad and me...I had to have him infect them...But it's fine, they're all following orders under the spell..."

And they've all had a square meal...So, no problem...

"By the way...Why the hell did you countermand my orders?...And how come you didn't tell me..."

"GET ME UP!..." Buffy screams... "NOW!..."

"...about keeping control of Dad in your hands, you jerk...?...You could've marched us all right into an American missile..."

No such luck...Qusai sighs to himself...

"You did notice...I captured the Slayer..." Odai proudly beams at Buffy, still twisting on the floor...

"What's wrong with her...?" Qusai stares at the writhing Buffy...

"It was a great battle...On the banks of the river..." Odai begins...

Qusai glares...Buffy stops her struggling and likewise glares...

"I guess she got hurt in the parachute jump..." Odai looks down...

"Yeah..." Buffy hastily chimes in... "And in a coupla minutes, when I get the blood back in my legs...I am gonna kill you both...Unless you get me up, surrender, and put in a call to the US forces right now!..."

"She's a feisty one..." Odai notes...

"Miss...?" Qusai addresses her...

"Summers...Buffy Summers..." Odai helpfully puts in...

"Miss Summers...I fear your view of the current situation is somewhat inaccurate...We have you...Prisoner...And you being clearly in no condition to oppose our..." he eyes the zombie troupe...

"Followers...I would suggest you relax a moment while I fetch our chief physician to examine you..."

Else...he narrowly eyes her...

"t might be necessary for you to join the ranks of our...Friends...here..." he indicates the female zombies, all standing stiff and staring blankly...

Keep an eye on her, moron...he hisses to Odai as he moves to an intercom in the rear...

"I still wanta know how come you got to have top control..." Odai hisses back, sulking...

"Because I summoned Joseph...And I'm not crazy enough to keep on making new zombies...Idiot..." Qusai glares back as he reaches the intercom...

"Yes...Qusai Hussein here..." he speaks into the box... "Send our chief physician at once...Which bunker?...G-37A, fool...Read your security screen..."

Remember, Buffy?...Odai hisses to her, standing beside her with the zombies in blank-eyed, drooling attendance...This is just a performance...I...Am on your side...

Gre...at...she replies...Shaking her head...

Hmmn...I don't see why the future son-in-law of the US President couldn't have a mistress or two on the side...he thinks, eyeing her...Especially if she's the Slayer...So long as he keeps it quiet...

And, if need be...Zombie servant girls are very quiet...

Part XIII...

The western districts of Baghdad...A little after 4 am...

"But...?..." gasped the Republican Guard lieutenant William has just grabbed...About the right height and weight...

"You guys are 100 miles away...!"

'Fraid you were misinformed, mate...Will notes to the now unconscious officer...Dragging him into an empty alley and quickly stripping him...

Not a bad fit...he tightens the belt...

Now...A reasonable chance to walk the streets and enter the heavily guarded if non-descript building where he senses his intended has gone...Or more likely, been taken...

Poor Buf...She must be going crazy with the legs on the fritz and all...Though if her opponents, captors, who- or whatever they are, get within her arms' length...Won't be pretty...

Well...He can't help relishing the thought a little...This is a job for...William Soames Walthrop, human-souled...by voluntary act, one might add...vampire, poet, New Watchers' Council candidate, and Slayer's fiancee...

Not to mention...New assistant night manager at Doublemeat Palace...That quick jump up the Doublemeat corporate ladder having perhaps been the most irking thing for Buffy in the past few weeks...

A glass ceiling...At Doublemeat Palace?...

Still... It would all be in the family now... And it was just a temporary thing until the Council kicked in, they both got college worked out, and his writing career could resume...

This trip alone being certain to provide plenty of useful material...And after all, he'd, much to her flattered pleasure, suggested a joint project for his return to his craft...A series of graphic novels of their adventures...Names changed to protect the innocent of course...

Co-authored by Mr. and Ms...With perhaps a few acknowledgments to helpful friends and family, one teenaged-future-in-law bubbling over with ideas...A few possibly good...In particular...

Yeah...So long as she wasn't in any major trouble...And being able to sense her was a fairly good sign...A nice little adventure for one of their opening books...

Perhaps to be spiced up a bit if nothing more had happened than she'd been briefly captured owing to the legs problem by some moderately intelligent patrol squad...

He strode down the street confidently in his new uniform...the few, the proud, the Republican Guard...

Gotta get a picture in this before we go home...Make a great illustration for the book...he thought...

On the western outskirts of the capital...

"Pumpkin...?...This is Daisy Mae..." Sam speaks into her cell phone...

Willow blinks at Riley as she stands beside him...

Pet names...he shrugs...

Cute...she nods...Grimacing as he turns away to check Sam's coordinates on his map...

"Honey...William has found Buffy's scent...He's in pursuit into the city..." Sam continues...

"Willow thinks she's picked her up as well...We're on our way..." Riley replies...

Don't go into the main streets alone, Sam...he cautions...

"We'll be there in a few minutes..." he gives map coordinates...

"Ok, Pumpkin..." the reply...A pause, obviously waiting for...

"Love ya, Daisy Mae..." he tells the phone...

"Over and out..." a happy Sam signs off...

"Love is beautiful..." a solemn Willow beams at Riley as he puts the phone down...

"Yes...It is..." he firmly stares back...Then pulls out his transmitter to contact HQ...

Ok, ok...I did that kinda stuff with my honey too...she concedes to herself as he begins transmitting...

And love really is beautiful...

The western desert airbase...4:30 am...

Colonel Braddock, Giles, Xander have been joined by Dawn, Anya, and Andrew...All waiting round the main radio table, drinking...Coffee for the adults, YooHoo for Dawn and Andrew...

Awful...Dawn makes a face...

Yeah...But war is hell...Andrew notes to her...Manfully gulping the vile glop down...

Riley's voice comes through over the airwaves...They all cluster round the set...

"Will's on his way to her...We're linking up with Sam and then going in..."

Ah...Problem solved...Dawn and Andrew happily clink YooHoo boxes...

"Say again as to coordinates, Finn?..." the colonel asks...A grim look on his face...

A look Giles for one, Xander for another...Does not like...

Braddock summons an aide... "Get me today's target digest...From 0430 hours on...Western districts of Target Uno-C..."

Target digest?...Xander eyes Giles...

The colonel scans the list of today's potential targets for assault in "Target Uno-C"...Oh-oh...

"Colonel?..." Giles looks at him...

The colonel takes the microphone... "Finn?..."

"We have a problem..."

Presidential bunker G37-A...Western Baghdad...About 4:30 am...

The "chief medical officer to the President"...The same jumped-up med tech...Has arrived to make an examination of the Slayer's injuries...

Nearly all other medical personnel tied up, at the front, fled, or in hiding till the Yanks arrive...

"But sir..." the "doctor" nervously hisses to Qusai who's taken him aside to explain the situation...

Odai with his zombie quartet and dear ole dad in attendance, still with the Slayer...Now seated but handcuffed and ankle shackled, following her tossing of several large soldier guards across the room, a few moments before...

"I am not a doctor..."

"Nonsense..." Qusai pats him... "You played one on TV at Dad's last televised appearance, didn't you?...And all we need is for you to do a simple exam of the young lady over there..."

"But..."

"And give her enough of this..." he offers a syringe... "To keep her reasonably non-violent until I can safely get her and myself to the Americans..."

Demonstrating my good faith and my fitness for the job of interim President...After turning over my maniac brother...And our fiendish zombie father...he thinks...

"Do a convincing job...Keep her believing that she is getting the best possible treatment...And I might allow you to join us...And save your miserable life..."

"I promise you, Buffy..." Odai hisses to her as he sees Qusai engaged...And the various injured soldiers tend their Slayer-inflicted wounds...

"As soon as my fiendish brother leaves, I will get us both to safety...And we will seek your compatriots..."

Just trust me, baby...he smiles...Wagging a finger at her...

"Sure..." she glares... "Warren..."

He stares...Hmmn?...

"Sorry...It's just that you remind me of an old...Friend..." she gives him a brittle smile...

Ah...he beams...An old love, eh?...So many women see me that way...

God, I'm gonna love killing this guy...And his brother did say he made those poor girls zombies...she thinks...

Part XIV...

4:45am...A nearly deserted street in western Baghdad...The faint first signs of dawn beginning their approach...

"I have often walked...Down this street before...But the pavement always stayed...Beneath my feet before..." Well, maybe not this street...William notes, humming as he heads down the Baghdad street to the plain, rather unpretentious building where his supersenses suggest his beloved Buffy has gone or been taken...

The surface entrance to Presidential Bunker G37-A...

But certainly I have walked Buffy's street a million times...

The street where she lives...My own beloved...My future bride...And right now...This one'll do...

As I'm sure she's here...Somewhere...Dead ahead...

A private on guard duty salutes him as he passes, in his RG lieutenant's uniform...He crisply returns the salute...

As befitting a member of Iraq's finest...

The western desert coalition airbase...Same time...

Giles stares at Colonel Braddock in the main HQ tent as the colonel tries to reach US Air Operations' HQ...

"You mean to say that this area of Baghdad is to be hit within the next four hours...?" he eyes the map of the city spread on the rickety metal table before them...

"There's at least one presidential bunker there that we know of..." the colonel nods, tapping his list of the upcoming day's targets as he awaits reply...

"Very likely the place Miss Summers has gone or been taken to..." he notes...

Xander, Anya, Dawn, and Andrew looking at each other...

"Ok..." Xander insists... "Time for ST-2 to move out..."

Hmmn...The colonel looks at him...Then Giles...

"Yes...I think Mr. Harris is right...Our only chance to save Miss Summers may be to get the second team into that bunker compound before sunrise and the start of today's missions..."

Really?...Xander blinks...Dawn and Andrew nod solemnly...Time for ST-2 to demonstrate its can-do qualities...Anya frowns...But what the hell, pulling Buffy's ass of whatever disaster she's charged into is what her one-eyed honey does...

Braddock turns to an aide...Get a chopper ready...Immediately...

The ground entrance to Presidential Bunker G37-A, western Baghdad...

"You, there...Quick...!" William hisses at the two guards nervously patrolling the entrance...Watching anxiously for the start of the anticipated next series of coalition attacks that the coming dawn is sure to bring...

The guards stare at each other and him...

"I have just returned from a vital intelligence mission...!...I've urgent information for our superiors...!"

"If you're one of our intelligence boys..." one guard looks at him...The other raising his machine gun...

"Why are you speaking in English?..."

"Cause I don't speak Iraqi, mate..." Will grins...Deftly banging the guards' heads together and dashing inside...

The outskirts of western Baghdad...5am...

"Pumpkin!..." Sam hisses happily as Riley and Willow creep cautiously up to her hiding place...

"No word from William as yet..." she notes...

"Buffy's somewhere in that direction..." Willow points...

"And we've got to get her...And William out...Pronto..." Riley adds..."This whole sector is gonna be plastered by Air Command in under three hours..."

"So...? We're going in?..." Sam looks to her gear, rising...

"In just a bit...We got support coming..." Riley smiles, putting a hand on her shoulder...My girl...Always first to the fray...He eyes Willow rather proudly...

Ok...She makes the cut...Willow's look back says...Reluctantly...

"The other guys are on their way..." she explains to Sam...Who beams...Oh, great...

"Your friends all have so much experience...I know they're going to be invaluable..."

But she's still a smiling little two-faced...the Wiccan thinks darkly...

"They're being dropped right on the objective...At least as close to the place where we believe Buffy must be...With luck, they can secure her while we provide distraction..."

Oh...? Sam stares...

Right on the objective...?...Dawn and that Andrew...And the other two?...Her smile a bit stiff...

"Not Dawn, I'm sure..." Willow replies, waving a hand...

Giles and the colonel would never allow a kid to expose herself like that...

"Lets move up and I'll try calling HQ..." Riley suggests...

The skies over western Baghdad...5:20 am...

"You are a bit young for this, Miss!..." Colonel Braddock stares at Dawn, yelling over the chopper blades...As she checks her parachute with the others...Giles frowning at her...

"However...As you managed to slip past my people and stow away on board here..." He eyes the blankets under which Dawn had hidden...Slipping in after Giles' firm insistence that she stay behind...With someone's assistance...Giles and Xander now glaring at Andrew who looks up innocently at the fascinating ceiling of the chopper...

Hmmn...All those interesting bolted metal plates...

"I must assume you have your own unique talents!..." the colonel concludes...

"Oh...Dawny has many unique talents!..." Andrew proudly chimes in...Yelling over the propellers as well...As Giles and Xander glare ever more intently...

Brave kid...That Andrew...Anya hisses to Xander...

Hopefully Buffy never hears him speaking of Dawn's "talents"... Unique or otherwise...

"Miss Kennedy?..." the colonel waves her up...

Me...? she looks out the chopper's open door...Ummn...Maybe somebody el...she starts turning to look back as the colonel shoves her out...

"Mr. Harris?..."

Ummn...

In the depths of Presidential Bunker G37-A...5:15 am...

Buffy narrowly eyes the "doctor" come over to "examine" her injuries as she sits, handcuffed and ankle-shackled in a chair...Odai, nearby with his zombie quartet and zombie Hussein, watching as well...Looking over to Qusai with a questioning look...?

What the hell is bro up to now?...He heads over to him...

Qusai on the phone, receiving the latest situation reports before the inevitable beginning of the daily coalition air strikes...

"How are your legs feeling now, Miss?..." the "doctor" tries a friendly bedside manner...

Hmmn...A rather scruffy-looking "chief physician" she thinks...Still, wartime and all...He may be running in from some front-line "MASH" or something...

"Qusai...?..." Odai taps him...Qusai waving him off...Busy!...

"Why are you having that clown "examine" her?..." older Hussein hisses...

"Well..." Buffy gives the "doc" a sweet smile... "I think if you'd help me up on my feet...Take these things off...And let me move around a bit...I'd probably be able to get the circulation going again..."

"Yes..." Qusai tells the party at the other end of the phone... "Have the available commanders and whoever you can find of the governmental staff assemble here before sunrise...Tell them this is an order direct from Dad..."

"Qusai!..." Odai taps him again...Qusai shoves him off...Moron!...On the phone here!...Strategic-governmental matters at stake?...

"Go sit...No!...You fool...!.." he cries at the "doc" now bending over Buffy's ankle "bracelets"...

Odai turns...To see the "doctor" go flying across the room as Buffy forces herself to a standing position with her arms...Snapping the handcuffs easily...

The human soldier guards whirl to look at her as she tries to move...Slowly on her magically simulated legs...One still shackled to the chair...

"Miss Summers!..." Odai calls... "Wait...!" He signs for the zombie troupe to move into action...They approach Buffy, several of the soldiers as well, while others block the exits...

The stunned "doctor" rises, syringe now in hand...A bit miffed at the young lady who's just taken advantage of his compassionate side to embarrass him in front of his bosses...

Qusai, glaring, shoves him forward... "Get her...Give her that stuff...!...Now!..."

Hmmn...The "doc" pauses as a soldier and a zombie girl go flying...

More commotion from down the hallway of the main exit...Odai looks over...What the hell's going on up there?...

"Is it sunrise yet?...Has the bombing started?..." he turns to Qusai...Now engaged in pushing the "doc" and other reluctant guards forward as Buffy staggers, more slowly than the zombies...Towards the main exit...Dragging the chair behind her...

The raging Qusai looks round for...Ah...Stun gun...He tosses it to one of the braver guards trying to reach Buffy...

"Hey!...OW!..." she cries as the guard hits her with a jolt...She stumbles and falls...

Damn...Fallen and can't get up...Again...

Still...I actually felt something in the thigh he hit...Maybe a little electrical stimulation would be good for my recovery...Sbe desparately raises herself to her knees...Awkwardly looking about for something to support a lift to her feet...

The now somewhat less compassionate "doctor" manages to reach her on the ground as she whacks off an approaching zombie...And...Yeow! she yelps...Inject her...

"You...Bast..." she goes a little catatonic...Staring...

Odai races to her, shoving the guards aside...

"Buffy...? We still have a deal right?" he hisses...She uncomprehending...

Qusai calling for the guards to back off...

More commotion is heard from above...Shots fired...

"Go and see what's going on!..." Qusai orders the guards by the main exit...While signing for the zombies to back off as well...

Buffy remains on her knees, staring...

"You can get her up now..." Qusai smiles... "She'll give us no more trouble..."

Two guards lift her up to stand...Odai looks at her...

She looks...Like a...He looks over to his zombie girls...

"Qusai...? What did you do to her?..." he turns to his younger bro...

There goes my ticket to President Bush's ranch...

"A new drug, developed in Dad's research labs...Induces a catatonic, hypnotic state...Not exactly the mind-controller he was hoping for...But..."

Will she...Take commands?...Odai asks...Eyeing her...

Somewhat hopefully...

"Not really...But she'll be good and quiet and follow where we lead her...For about ten hours, depending on her Slayer's physiology..."

Oh...Odai, a tad disappointed...Not exactly a reversible zombie...

Still...She seems quite pleasant now...

And her legs seem to be working again, a little...he notes...

More cries and shots from down the main hallway...Hmmn...

"The Americans?..." Odai eyes younger bro...

Hmmn...Perhaps Buffy and I should slip off to some quiet corner and hide till the Yanks secure the place...

Get to know each other better in one of Dad's hidden rooms while her troops take out Qusai...

"Take her over to the zombies..." Qusai tells him... "It sounds like we may have to head out..."

Several guards flee into the chamber...

"That way...!..." Qusai points to a side exit...

"Hold it, mate!..." William in Guards uniform, bursts in...Rather heavily armed...

A Brit?...Odai looks ...

But they're supposed be trapped outside Basra?...Oh, I get no accurate intelligence...he glares at Qusai...

"Buffy?...Where is she?..." Will hollers at the group...Selecting out Qusai as the current leader...Whoops, he catches sight of zombie Hussein...

The Big Fish, himself...Buf'll be so...

"Buffy?..." he screams, seeing the catatonic Buffy in line with the zombie girls...

Hmmn...Only one?...Qusai stares at the now frantic William, racing over to Buffy...

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER?..." he screams, raging, hurling back a guard...Shoving the zombies next to her back...

The human guards attempt to rally...

"She is ours, my friend!..." Qusai thinks fast, calling to him... "But...She still lives...The condition can be reversed..."

And only we can release her from the spell...he notes...Ah, the guards have managed to regroup...

"Surrender or we shoot you and her!...Now!..." he cries...William desperately trying to chafe Buffy's hands...Reach her somehow...

"Odai...The zomb...The other zombies!..." Qusai turns to Odai...

The zombies move on William and Buffy...The human guards raise their guns...

No one but this one Brit?...Odai looks down the hall...

"Release her...! Now!...Or I will kill each and every one of you...!" William turns to Qusai...

Eyeing zombie Hussein briefly...Lord...Was all this over a mere zombie?...Jesus...Buf and I will have a bone to pick with US Military Intelligence when we get outta here...he thinks...

"Surrender...Now...Or you die!...And she stays a...Zombie!..." Qusai calls back...

The "doc", back in the gaggle of guards, blinks...What?...You bastards had me make that poor girl a...?

Yeah!...Odai agrees with his bro, glaring at William...

God, one Brit alone did all this?...he thinks, a little embarrassedly...

Who is this guy?...James Blonde...?

Part XV...

The main conference chamber, deep within Presidential Bunker G37-A, western Baghdad...about 6am...

William has reluctantly surrendered to Qusai and Odai Hussein and their forces...For the sake of freeing the now catatonic and possibly zombified Buffy from whatever sinister hold they've managed to get on her...

The guards truss him up as he stands by a blankly staring Buffy...On her feet again, at least he notes...Apparently Willow's spell to magically allow her to walk for a bit on her paralyzed legs is still working...

"Buffy?...Darling pet...?" he calls to her as she stands beside Odai's female zombies, with Zombie Saddam, as befitting the leader of Iraq, off to one side...

Odai comes over...Leading Buffy by the hand towards an exit and signing for the zombies to follow...

"Buffy!..." Will calls...

"Get him moving..." Qusai turns to the guards...Who shove William towards the exit...

"We'll find out who he is and where his forces are once we've reached the next bunker...Contact the commanders and staff who were coming here and have them meet us at our new location..." he turns to an aide...

Doctor...he eyes the "doctor" still staring after Buffy as she goes through the exit door with Odai...

"Lets get going...Unless you care to wait for the American bombers to come over...? Or our young friend's comrades to come crashing in..."

The "doctor" gulps and follows...

"If anything happens to her!..." Will turns to glare at Qusai as the soldiers push him along...Little suspecting how much he is restraining himself for his beloved's sake...

"She will be fine, my friend...I guarantee it..." Qusai waves airily...

So long as you cooperate...

The western Baghdad street where President Bunker G37-A lay...6am...Sunrise just starting break over the eastern hills

"Ooof!..." Andrew groans, as he touches down...His parachute dropping over him...

Help!...he cries, tangled...

"Arghh!..." Dawn groans, falling to her knees and rolling...About 25 feet away from Andrew...Her parachute settling down behind...Over Andrew as well...

He continues to struggle and flail in the chutes and cables...

"Wait a minute, Andy...!" Dawn calls to him...Spying a ghost-like figure stumbling around under the parachutes...She unhooks from her chute and starts over...

Only to be covered herself by Xander's chute...Which likewise provides Andrew with yet a third covering...

From down the street, by the building covering the bunker, Colonel Braddock, Giles, and several of the special ops troops are seen hastening up...

Damn..Dawn groans, trying to escape the chute...Hearing their voices...They would hafta find us like this...

"Dawn!...Xander?..." Giles calls quietly...

"Hello?..." Andrew calls back, lost in the pile of chutes...Now bound up by cables wrapped about his feet and body...

"Giles?...Dawn...?..." Anya's voice is heard as she helps Xander along...Who is dragging his leg a bit...

Slight twist of the ankle when they shoved him out the copter door...

"Quiet down, people!..." the colonel hisses...Signaling his troops to uncover Dawn and free Andrew...

"Colonel Braddock?..." Riley emerges from a small building...

"Finn...Good..."

Sam and Willow now come out as well...

"Hey, Willow..." Anya waves cheerily... "Kennedy's here somewhere...!"

"Quiet!..." the colonel hisses at her...

A gunshot quickly adding emphasis to his warning...

Followed with commendable speed by several others...

"Take cover...!" Braddock shouts...The newly freed Dawn and Andrew joining the others, now including Kennedy, as they all scramble for the protection of the small warehouse Riley and the other ST-1 members had just emerged from...

Deep below the Baghdad streets, Odai Hussein leads an entranced Buffy and his zombie force down a tunnel passage to another secure Presidential Bunker...B87-B...

"So...Buffy?..." he whispers back to Buffy, gently pulling her along...

"What's with that Brit guy...? He a friend of yours...?...A boyfriend?..."

She stares blankly...

"The blonde Brit?...Back in the other bunker...? Who came to rescue you?..."

Br...it...she murmurs placidly...

"Yeah, that's it...The Brit...Who is he, anyway?..."

She stares, blinking, as they continue on...

"Blllonnnde...Brr...It..." she repeats...

Hmmn...Not much of a conversationalist this Slayer...Odai notes to himself...

Not that I care much for talkative women...

"Hey!...Keep moving up there!..." A shout from Qusai, back down the line...

Yeah, yeah...Odai calls back...

Hmmn...Well...Buffy...Odai resumes as he continues the march...

"How's about me...Do you think maybe we might have a chance to get to know each other when this is all settled...And I've gotten you to the American lines...?"

She stares...Blankly...

Hmmn...Best to keep it simple...

"You like Odai, Buffy?..." he tries... "Huh...Like Odai, Buffy?..."

"Likkkke...Odddaaii..." she repeats... "Buffffy..."

Well...Progress...

"Yeah...Lets hear that again... I Like Odai..." he smiles back at her...

"I like Odai...lots..." he repeats carefully...

"IIII likkke OOOOddaiiii...llllooots..." she murmurs...Staggering along...

Yeah...I knew it...he beams...

Wonder if Qusai has any more of that stuff...And the formula written down somewhere...

"Buffy...Buffy...I...Love...Odai..." he begins... "I...Love...Odai..."

Farther down the march line, Will contemplates his next move...Tear off the ropes and grab the younger brother who seems to be in charge?...He cranes his head back...Hmmn...Lotta guards around him...And Buffy far out in front with the other clown...And the zombies...Best to wait and see what the situation's like when we get where we're going...

Hopefully not out into the rising sun...

Thank God she didn't quite have that smell of death about her...Maybe Boss boy had been truthful when he'd said her condition was reversible...

Though the others sure seemed like your typical zombie...

God...She couldn't be...Not again...You couldn't be so cruel as to take her from me...And her little family...Again...Not now...

For your own sake, Pal...Cause you know as well as I do she'll kick your white-bearded ass out of Heaven if you've gone and let her be killed again...

And zombie death, being mystical...Would certainly allow for Willow to do one more resurrection...

The Baghdad street where ST-2 and Braddock's force had just landed...6:15 am...

Kaboom!...Another heavy explosion as the coalition ground attack aircraft Braddock has called in, continue to pound the buildings from which gunfire had emerged...

The gang huddles in the ground floor of the warehouse where they've taken refuge from snipers...A couple of buildings down from the building housing the bunker entrance...

"You sure they can hit the other guys and not us...?" Dawn watches a building collapse down the street...

"They're reasonably precise..." the colonel notes...As a nearer blast shakes their building...

"But you can only be so precise with heavy explosives..."

As soon as our people have shaken the enemy up a bit...I suggest we run for that building...Braddock points...

"Willow...?" Giles turns to her... "Do you sense Buffy in there?"...

"Yeah..." she nods... "But...She's faded a bit...Somehow her aura's weakened...And it may be in motion..."

"They're moving her?..." Xander eyes her... "Lets roll..."

Riley raises a hand...Just a mo, Xan...

"Yes and no..." Willow replies... "I think they're moving her...But that's not the main cause of the aural fade...It's like her self...Her soul...Has been repressed a little...By something..."

Xander stares at Giles...Sam at Pumpkin...

Kennedy at Willow, beaming...Hey babe...Love it when you get all solemn and earnestly Wiccan...

Could be magics, drugs...I dunno...Willow sighs...Maybe we'd best try getting in there...she notes, seeing the old gang's faces...Right away...

"But how's about the easy way..." she grins... "Avoiding the falling bombs and all..."

"Yeah...Teleportation...The only way to travel...If you can avoid the getting trapped in solid rock..." Andrew agrees happily...

"II..Addore...Oddai..." Buffy blankly repeats, marching along at Odai's tug...The zombies in front of them, soldiers, then far back down, William, more soldiers, and Qusai, the "doctor", and, naturally, more soldiers...

"The...Slayer...Is...Odai's...Girl..." Odai tries...

I wonder how much it would cost to keep her in an apartment or a house near DC?...Unless "Dad" Bush wants me and my Bush wife to live near the ranch in Texas...he ponders...

"Thhee...Sllayyer...Isss...Odddaii's...Girrlll..."

"Thanks...Buffy...You know you have beautiful eyes..." he notes, beaming back at her...

"Yooou...Havvve...Beeeauuutifull...Eyyess..." she repeats...

Oh, no...I meant...he begins...Well...Actually...

And all my ladies do tell me...

"You have beautiful eyes, Odai..."

"Yooou...Havve...Beeauu..."

Part XVI...

Baghdad...On the street outside Presidential Bunker G37-A...Daybreak...

"Now, Andrew..." Willow sighs... "You're sure you've got it...?"

Absolutely...he nods...And it's only a short jump...

Ok...she sighs...

"Wil...?" Xander hisses... "Are you sure about this?...I mean..." he catches an overhearing Dawny glaring at him...And pulls Willow away...

"I mean...Andrew?...Teleport six people...Including himself..."

"We haven't any alternative, Xander...I don't have enough left in me right now to take us all alone..." Willow shakes her head...

"He's been practicing...Dawny's sure he'll be fine..."

Uhnnn...Xander shakes his head...Willow goes back to the group...

"Ok..." Andrew takes the floor, Dawn pushing him...

"Lets get this illusionaire par excellent under way..." he notes...

God I wish it were an illusion...Willow sighs...

Dawn, rather proudly...With Giles...Giving a reluctant wave to Willow and Xander...Well, someone has to do it...And three soldiers..."Volunteered" by Colonel Braddock...Takes position by Andrew...

"Focus, Andrew!..." Willow calls...Gathering her group as well...

"You can do it..." perhaps a bit lacking in conviction...

Showtime, Andy!...See ya below!...Dawn replies firmly...Waving...As Andrew, she, Giles, and their companions vanish...

Followed an instant later by Willow and co...

Colonel Braddock and five remaining soldiers left behind to maintain contact with HQ and do things the hard way...

Hard...If the transports worked, that is...

Below the Baghdad streets, in the tunnel to Presidential Bunker B87-B...As the group moves slowly along...Qusai Hussein has decided to make his own attempt to deal with the coalition forces who've shown up on his doorstep...Slipping over to the trussed-up William...

"My friend..." he hisses to the blonde man in Iraqi Republican Guards uniform...In a voice that clearly suggests he wants this conversation kept secret...

"Please understand that I...Qusai Hussein...Am actually on your side...A friend to the Allies...Fighting my diabolical brother and father in secret..."

Really, mate?...Will eyes him...

"Well...Considering your dad's dead...Everyone, including your dead dad and that little quartet of the damned, seems to be taking their orders from you...And your little brother up there seems to be a freaking moron...What's holding you back from marching on over to our lines...?"

Besides possibly having murdered my fiancee...The Slayer... The American Slayer...he stares at Qusai narrowly...

"I assure you...Miss Summers is not dead...Yet...And I will do all that I can to protect you both until we can seek your comrades..." he blinks...

"Fiancee...?" he eyes William...

"That's right, friend...And one really pissed fiancee's what I am...So if you are on our team...Secretly or whatever...Best for you to show your hand...Now..."

And release my Slayer girl from that spell or whatever...

"As soon as it is safe to...I will..." Qusai nods... "For now, I ask your patience for just a bit longer..."

Mr...?

"Walthrop...William Soames Walthrop..."

Ah...Of her Majesty's Secret Service...?...MI-5...? Qusai asks, curious...

Hmmn...Well, I did pretend to be MI-5 that one time in Istanbul in 1982...Will thinks...

"With the Slayer's Special Team, mate...And the Royal Council of Watchers..."

Ah...

Am a New Council Watcher candidate, after all...he thinks...May as well start getting the title right...

"I knew you could do it, Andy!..." Dawn beams at him...As they stand together in some dark...Room?...Tunnel...?

Everyone else is ok, right?...she looks round...

"Giles...?" she calls...

"Yes...Right here, Dawn..." he calls back...

The three soldiers beside him...In good shape if a bit shaken by the trip...

Andrew beams proudly...A man touched by the Gift...

"Where the heck are we, anyway?" Dawn turns to Giles...Who shakes his head...

Hopefully, about where we wanted to be...He feels for his backpack...Nothing...

The soldiers likewise...And disarmed...

Andrew looking a bit sheepish...Guess I should have worked on the teleportation of accompanying personal objects...

Well...Giles notes...At least we didn't materialize naked...

"I don't suppose you could get some light in here, Andrew?..." he asks

Well...Giles...Ummn...Andrew hesitates...Looking embarrassed...

"That's all right, Andy..." Dawn pats him... "Ya did just fine...You're a large jobs kinda magics guy...I'll have Willow teach me the small stuff sometime..."

No one missing anything...Organic?...Giles quietly checked in with the soldiers...

Willow scans the lower level of Presidential Bunker G37-A where she, the Finns, Xander and Anya, and several soldiers have just materialized...

Xander looking anxiously round the large room for the others...Whoa...He catches sight of Saddam's sex mural collection...

Nice to see the Iraqi leadership takes an interest in the arts, he notes to Anya...

"Too bad you're missing that ole depth perception..." she replies, peering at the paintings... "Some of these are in 3D..."

"Andrew must have brought them a little further down..." Willow tells the others reassuringly...

Well, least I don't see their heads sticking out of the floor or walls or something...That's a good sign...she thinks...

"Lets see if we can find them..."

"Look..." Anya points at one large mural... "There's Buffy..."

Xander stares, blinking...Hmmn...Quite a good likeness...If Buffy's clothes were shredded and she were being lifted helpless in the ravishing claws of some gigantic red, horned demon...

"Could have been the First as model..." Anya notes... "I know that fellow..." she points at the large demon... "That's Dominitus, one of the guardians of the final portal to Hell...I saw him a couple of times on trips to Hell..."

Xander looks at her...

"Strictly business...For D'Hoffryn to obtain some vengeance-necessary items..." she explains...

"Yeah..." she shakes her head... "Musta been the First posing with him...Domy's actually a pretty shy guy...He'd never have done one like this unless she asked him to..."

Hot...Kennedy grins at the mural...Willow frowning...

Any paint around...? Xander asks...Preferably black...

Part XVII...

The tunnel under Baghdad leading to Presidential Bunker B87-B...

A slight hitch in the march...Something seems to have killed the tunnel lights, including the emergency ones...Plunging the whole place into darkness...

The zombies, halted frantically by Odai, seem to be retaining their usual calm...As does Buffy...Still catatonic and dutifully reciting back Odai's latest lesson regarding his many charms...

"...Bbbigggest III'veee evvver seeeennn..." she finishes...

Oh, I have definitely gotta get this drug's formula from Qusai later...he thinks...

"Qusai!..." Odai calls back down the tunnel...Shining his electric lantern...

"What the hell's going on...?"

"Must be the Americans...Bombing our power grid..." Qusai calls back up...Still standing near William...

Whose amazing vamp supersenses do not, unfortunately include super night vision...

In fact, vision...Owing to his human defects...Is not Will's strongest suit...

Buffy having recently forced him to an eye exam after noticing what they'd taken to be his evil scowl in the bad ole Spike days was actually a desperate squint...

"What's going on?.." he calls to the faint figure near him...At least he can tell by sound and smell that it's the junior maniac...

Perhaps...If he can be sure of finding him...It might be time to break out of these ridiculous ropes and grab the fellow as hostage...

"Your forces must have knocked out the electrical grid...But I don't understand why the emergency lights don't kick in..." Qusai fumes...

Presidential Bunker G37-A...The main chamber on the lower level...

Dull thuds are heard by the Willow-transported half of the combined ST team...The bunker shakes a bit...

"Our boys are starting to hit this area..." Riley notes... "We'd best move out of here before they send in the bunker buster drones..."

Right...Willow nods...Wouldn't want to be caught by some little bomb equal to a small nuclear warhead...

Lets see...Buffy's aura...

Yeah...Faint but...

"That way..." she points to an exit in the back of the rooms...

"That's my girl..." Kennedy grins to Xander as they head out...

Wonder if the artist would be available for a private commission...she eyes the murals as they reach the exit door...Willow would look so hot in the outfit Buffy or whoever is wearing there...

Presidential Bunker B87-B...

Phew...Odai sighs, leading Buffy up the stairs into the new bunker...Funny that the power is still on here, though...Having halted the zombie force until he can alert the bunker entrance guards as to their being on the Iraqi side...

"Sir?..." a guard officer eyes him, the catatonic Buffy following...

"All's well..." Odai notes... "Meet my new girl, Buffy Summers...Say hi, Buffy...Hi..."

"Sssaay...Hiiii...Bbbbuufffyy..."

Hmmn...The guard eyes the blank-eyed Buffy...Pretty girl...And just bombed?...Or...Drugged?...No signs of torture...?...Odai's doing well these days...Or maybe she just has a large family under his lock and key...

"The commanders and staff have begun to arrive...But the bombing may delay many of them..." the officer fills him in...Eyeing the zombie force now emerging from the tunnel at Odai's command...

Saddam himself at the rear...

Odai moves back to dear Dad...Trying to look attentive...

"Ok...Dad and I will be up in just a sec...Tell them to check on the strategic situation while we prepare ourselves..." he checks his watch...

"Minister al-Sahaf should be doing his morning press briefing right now...If he's still alive..."

The guard nods and heads upstairs...

Our info minister's press briefing...Great...The best comedy on TV...he thinks...And looks back...

Geesh, Saddam looks better than he has in years...I guess the excitement of the war is having a tonic effect on him...

"Now let me see..." Andrew closed his eyes, then opened them...Hmmn not much difference in this pitch dark...

"Locator spell..." he concentrates...A very dim firefly of a light appears...

"Nice job, Andy...!" Dawn proudly pats him...The light winks out...

My fault...Dawn hastily tells him as a sigh is heard from Giles...Somewhere to their left... "I shouldn't have broke your concentration...Try again...ho..." she cuts it off...God, Giles in hearing range...

Did she start to call him...Honey?...Giles glares in what he believes is Andrew's direction...

Andrew brings his mighty abilities to bear once again...The faint light reappears and begins moving down the passage...

"All right, lets follow..." Giles hisses to the soldiers...Dawn happily taking Andrew's arm...After feeling round in the dark for it for a full minute...

The group proceeds slowly after the light...Trying not to stumble...OW!...Andrew hollers...Ouch!...Dawn goes into him...Into the walls or each other...

Sorry...Didn't see that wall...Andrew apologizes...

No problem...Dawn pats him... "And look, your locator is still going...Lets go, guys!..."

I distinctly heard the sound of someone kissing someone...Giles thinks, annoyed...

Dawn?...Andrew whispers...Did you just...?

"For luck...Sshh, Giles..." she quietly hisses back...But gives a hand squeeze...

Well...Andrew happily thinks...Carefully following the light of his Buffy locator...I guess I do have something of William's reformed bad boy about me...

Not to mention excellent housekeeping skills...

The tunnel to Presidential Bunker B87-B...

Qusai turns away from William as he and those around him hear sounds from further back down the tunnelway...A faint crash...Hmmn...

"Someone is coming after us!..." he turns back... "You...And you..." he shines his flashlight on two soldiers... "Take positions here...The rest of you...Hurry!..."

Hmmn...William ponders...Now?...He tenses...

But best to hold off until the younger maniac here gets me up to Buffy...Then see if it's our fellows behind us...He relaxes a little and picks up his pace as a soldier urges him along...Qusai moving past...

The main conference room of Presidential Bunker B87-B...

Qusai leads zombie dad and catatonic Buffy into the room...Now reasonably filled with military and governmental types, watching Minister al-Sahaf on TV...A few turn back to stare at the newcomers...And tap their fellows...

"They will advance to commit suicide!..." the confident words of MSS pour out from the TV...

"Gentlemen...And Ladies..." Odai calls...Leading Dad to a chair of honor ...Slightly off to the side...

The group rises to acknowledge the presence of the Leader...

Still kickin' eh...? one commander who'd been present the first night notes...

And lookin' better than in a long time...

"My girlfriend, Ms. Summers..." Odai proudly shows the blankly staring Buffy off to a few of the guests...

Hmmn...Looks like Odai got hold of compound S-37H...one of the group most familiar with Saddam's weapons programs notes to himself, observing Buffy...

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Part XVIII...

Still in pitch black darkness, the Andrew-transported half of the Slayer Special Team and its special ops back-up, stumbles after Andy's little Buffy-locator...

Every bit as bright as one of Willow's...Dawn loyally insists when it pauses...

Too bad these emergency lights are out too...she notes, after banging her head against one...

"I think I accidently knocked out all electrical devices in the area when we materialized..." Andrew sheepishly replies in a whisper...

No problem...She pats him...Willow used to do that all the time...And anyway, it coulda been our planes...

"Andrew...?" Giles calls to him from behind... "Are you certain that this spell is properly targeted on Buffy...?"

A sudden flash of light from up ahead, followed by shouted words in what Giles ids as Iraqi...Followed immediately by gunshot flashes...Down!...Giles cries...Suggests that Andrew's targeting is not all that bad...

Further up the tunnel, near the old G37-A bunker...

"What the heck's up with the lights down here?..." Kennedy calls...Tripping in the growing dark of the walkway tunnel which Willow's sure will lead them to Buffy...

"Dunno...There oughta be emergency lights..." Willow replies... "Hold up just a mo...Lemme see what I can do..."

Xander shines his flashlight...Well-built, he notes to Anya...Who nods, taking a sincere interest...Having learned back home that the construction business can be quite profitable...

See the way the brick is laid...They put some effort into this one...he points at the roof...

A faint sound of gunfire from up ahead...

"Wait...!" Willow calls...Concentrating...

The emergency lights glow faintly...

They view each other in eerie blue light...

"Sorry, not much power..."

It's wonderful, Willow...Sam beams... Great job...

Thanks...Willow curtly replies...

"We'd better get moving..." Riley suggests... "Be ready to take cover..."

They begin moving towards the gunfire...Kennedy hanging back with Willow...

"It's...Wonderful...Willow...Great...Job..." Kennedy hisses at her, grinning...

Shuddup...Willow glares...

Really Wonderful...Kennedy smiles benevolently at her...

Further down the tunnel...Andrew, Dawn, Giles and their soldiers have run into the soldiers left by Qusai Hussein to guard the entrance to Bunker B87-B...The good news being that for the moment, there are only two...Firing rather blindly into the black darkness...

The bad news...That Andrew's teleport spell failed to carry their arms and equipment along...

The group try to keep as down in the mud of the tunnel floor as humanly possible as bullets whiz round...

"Try to crawl back...!" Giles hisses... "But carefully..."

Hmmn...Really would prefer not to move at all, Giles...Dawn thinks, plastering herself as flat on the ground as possible...

But, maybe...It would be best if...

OW!...A bullet nicks her foot...NO!...It would not be best...No way!...OW!..she moans...

"Dawn!..." Andrew calls...Putting a hand out...

Hmmn...Mud...Some brick...Water, I hope...Hey!...Dawn hisses...

Ah, Dawn...

She moans a little...

"Can you crawl back?...I'll help you..." he whispered...

No...she shakes her head...Too far...

Hmmn...He tries to peer ahead from where he lies...

"Andrew!...Dawn?..." Giles' voice from behind...Moving towards them slowly...

Louder sounds now from ahead...The Iraqi soldiers moving on them...

Hmmn...Can't go back fast enough...

So why not try...

"Come on, Dawn..." he pulls at her... "This way..."

"What?...Andrew, that's the wrong way..." she hisses...

Just leave me and go back...she whispers...

"This way..." he pulls her... "I have an idea..."

Andrew...Dawn...Giles hisses...Moving forward slowly...The others with him following, all crawling flat on the ground in the dark...

The Iraqi guards close in...

"Ok...Look dead...Or unconscious..." Andrew hisses to Dawn... "Just don't move, whatever you do..."

Oww...Dawn replies...Her foot throbbing...But she complies...

A soldier shines a light on her...Hmmn...He moves forward more rapidly, gun unlimbered...His comrade close behind...

A tinkerbellish light suddenly flashes to their side...Both look, startled...As Andrew pulls one off his feet, knocking his flashlight away and grabbing his gun...

The other soldier drops back in panic...Andrew firing towards the roof...The man continues to flee back down the tunnel...

Phew...

"Mr. Giles...?" Andrew calls...

Dawn?...he shines the light on her...

Hey...she sits up wanly...

"Andrew...? Nice goin'..." she gives a feeble grin...

"Andrew...? Dawn...!..." Giles reaches them, with the soldiers just behind...He moves to tend Dawn's foot...

"Where the devil did you get that gun, Andrew?..." he stares at the machine gun in his hand...

My guy...Dawn beams proudly...A budding William...Without the superstrength...

Or better yet, an apprentice Xander...

"Who goes there?..." Riley's voice is heard from behind... "Identify yourselves..."

"It's us..." Andrew calls...

In the main chamber of Bunker B87-B...The group now joined by Minister al-Sahaf himself, fresh from the Information Ministry downtown...Where all is well, he assures the hastily gathered commanders and government types...And rumors of an Allied advance...Groundless...

Qusai having joined his brother...With the young British prisoner recently captured during the Hussein brothers' heroic defense of Dad's person at their former HQ...

Though of course, just a hopeless raid by the desperate and soon-to-be-vanquished coalition forces, Qusai notes...And Minister al-Sahaf seconds, firmly...Eyeing the foolishly suicidal blonde male infidel now handcuffed to a chair against a side wall, under guard...

And the troupe of zombies...Who attract a little notice...What with the distorted faces and drooling...

However Qusai's explanation... "More of Odai's..."secretarial"...staff..."satisfies the group...

They've seen Odai's girls...These pretty much fit his usual type...Beaten, drugged, and terrorized into submission...Though the blonde on his arm is a definite step-up for him...

All await the Leader's promised brief words of inspiration...As Qusai and Odai "consult" with dear ole Dad...Qusai hastily, but cautiously, checking the tape recorder...As Odai carefully maneuvers Dad into proper position...

"Hey, Brit...!" one, a newly arrived, slightly...Well..fairly...Drunk...Commander eyes William narrowly, moving up to him...

"We kicked your ass...Loser...We're gonna kick your buddies' asses at Basra...Saddam be praised..."

We'll see, mate...Will nods pleasantly...

"Dog!..." the officer, a lieutenant colonel by uniform, strikes him...

"Hey there!..." Qusai calls...Waving to the guards near William...Who pull the officer away...

Violations of the Geneva Convention are sure to make it harder for me to convince the Allies I'm on their side...

Say, who is that fellow anyway?...he eyes the drunken officer...Hmmn...

Looks a lot like Christopher Walken...

The officer takes a seat...With several others, still scowling William...Who gives a pleasant look back...

Always nice to have reinforcements before making a break, he reflects...Though Buffy would much prefer to do this on her own, I know...

Especially after the Hussein boys' little spell session...Well, maybe I can engineer things to get one of those idiots to release her in time to put her oar in...But, best to simply be glad for the help...

After all, we're settling down soon...Hafta take a more sober and responsible path in our battles from now on...Think of the family rep...The kiddies, if any...Hmmn...

Wonder where Braddock and his men found six Iraqis whose uniforms fit so well...?

The audience is brought to attention as Qusai brings a couple of microphones over to dear ole Dad...Odai sitting proudly by with the blank-eyed Buffy next to him...

"So...As Dad just told us...He's well...War's going ok...Things are good..." Odai notes to a couple of mid-level governmental staffers...Of occasional acquaintance...As he and his new girl pause for him to do the mandatory schmoozing in their cruise round the bunker chamber...

"Meet Buffy, my latest...Buffy, say hi...Hi...Hi..."

"Sssay Hiii...Hiii..." she blankly repeats...

"Nice to meet you..." the female of the two staffers gives her a cool smile...Eyes narrowing as she looks her over...

Whoops...Odai has a sudden flash...Didn't I date her five years ago?...Without brutal coercion...?

Ri...ght...I promised to have her boss shot and never called back...Hmmn...

"How's your boss these days...?" he asks...

"I'm just fine..." the male nods...The woman glaring slightly...Yeah...Just fine...

"Mr. Walthrop?..." Qusai pauses by the handcuffed William...Looking round...Ah, no one in earshot..."So sorry about that unpleasantness back there...Some of our people tend to be a little bitter towards the Allies...Which is why I hope you'll allow me to handle things and get you and Ms. Summers safely away..."

"Mate...If you really want to make a show of good faith...Get her away from that idiot brother of yours and break the spell...Now...Or else..."

A little irritating, this arrogant little fellow...Or else?...Or else?...

"Or else, what?..." Qusai sneers a bit...Perhaps this "Slayer fiancee" ought to meet with a tragic accident later while the noble Qusai Hussein tries valiantly...But less successfully...To save him as well as dear Ms. Summers from the fiendish Odai...

"Or else...We shoot you..." Colonel Braddock notes, rising with the five men he'd infiltrated into the bunker...All well armed...

Whoops...Odai looks over...As William snaps his handcuffs...

"Odai!..." Qusai screams, dodging back into the now panicked gaggle of mostly disarmed...Hey, Saddam's bunker, no chances taken...civilians, officers, and troops...

Hmmn...Odai quickly sums up the strategic situation as Braddock and his men wave their guns at the crowd, now clearly ready to accept terms...This looks like a job for...

Dad...And the girls...He waves the zombies into action...

Part XIX...

"Careful, there...These types are pretty lead tolerant...!" William calls over to Colonel Braddock and his small force as Zombie Hussein and Odai's female zombie troupe...Thankfully Will notes, minus Buffy, still next to Odai...Move on them...

My God...! Several of the Iraqi officers with hands raised look in embarrassed shock at the spectacle of their Leader heroically leading a group of rather odd-looking, but then Odai's girls, ladies against the commando team which has penetrated his secure bunker...

Never been so proud of their Leader...

Even more amazing than the spectacular display of courage is the resistance Saddam and his companions now show to machine gun fire...

Odai, sensing the troops recovering their shattered nerve, calls them to rally...As Qusai manages to slip back to where his dear brother stands by their remaining hostage...

William charges one of the female zombies... "Best to use the bayonet with these types, mates...!" he calls to Braddock and his men as he falls to the floor on top of the remarkably agile dead girl...

Rather a nice zombie spell, they're usually not so mobile and flexible...he notes...As the girl claws and bites at him...

"And watch...Hey!..." he tosses the girl back as she tries to sink her teeth in... "...out for the teeth...These lot are the contagious type...!"

The others take the hint and go for the bayonet...Unfortunately the zombies have given the room full of soldiers a chance to regroup and start to go for their confiscated weapons...

"FALL BACK!..." Braddock cries...As the odds rapidly mount against them, one of his men caught and strangled by Zombie Hussein...

Good one, Dad!...Odai shouts, raising a fist...

"Buffy!..." William cries, hopping on a table to see her over the crowd...The soldiers now beginning to distribute guns...

"Surrender, Walthrop!..." Qusai calls over to him... "Or you, your friends, and Ms. Summers all die!..."

Hey...Odai sulks a bit...I'm the one who just turned the situation around...

The zombies close in on Braddock and his men...William reluctantly returning to assist them...As the rearmed soldiers likewise begin to move in...

"Finish them!..." Qusai orders...

Hey...Odai glares at him...

"Yeah...Finish them..." he calls as well...

After all, I still have dear Buffy to prove my loyalty to the Allied cause...Such a pity I couldn't help her boyfriend and the brave troops who came to assist us in rescuing her...Odai notes, grinning at the trapped group...Penned in, now...William barely holding the zombies off...

And Joseph pooh-poohed our chances...

"Hey, Odai..." he feels a tap on his shoulder...

"Yes?...Buffy, what is it?..." he turns to her...

Wait a minute...?

"Qusai!..." he screams as Buffy grabs his arm and pulls it firmly up behind his back..Though still a bit wobbily on the magically stimulated legs...And woozy from compound S37H...

"What's the matter, Odai...I thought you wanted to get better acquainted?..." she tells him...

Whoa...Qusai stares at them...Well, I told elder brother the formula might wear off sooner with the Slayer physiology and all...

"Help!...Qusai!..." Odai screams...

Some of the soldiers training guns on him and Buffy...

A tragic but necessary loss to the nation, several note happily...

"Call off your zombies and stand the soldiers down, Qusai...Or I'll rip his arm out of his socket and kill you with it...!" Buffy hollers...

Hiya, honey...she smiles quickly at William...

So sweet of you to go to all this trouble to save me...her beaming expression says...

"Don't be a fool, Slayer...!" Qusai yells back... "We have you utterly outnumbered...Surrender, now...Or your friends and lover die...While you watch...Then you as well!..."

"Utterly!..." Minister al-Sahaf chimes in from the crowd where he stands, hands still raised...Oh, right...he lowers them...

As for my brother...Qusai proudly eyes him..He is ready to die for the nation...

I am?...Odai blinks...

Lover...William smiles at Buffy...Who beams back...

I mean to have it publically stated...By a top government official, no less...Kinda sorta really makes it official, ya know...?

"Kill them...!..." Qusai calls to the soldiers, waving at the zombies...All of whom ready for the final charge...

Good-bye, bro...I will see a proper statue is erected...he calls to Odai...

"Buffy?..." Odai gasps in her grip...

We do still have a deal right...?

"Oh, absolutely...This..." she wrenches his arm...And grasps him by the throat...

Is just a performance...

"Hands up!..." A call from the rear of the chamber...Riley...With Willow and the others behind him, Andrew helping a limping Dawn...The soldiers whirl round, startled...The zombies, Hussein in the lead pressing dutifully on...

Dawn!...Buffy and William both look over at her limping in...

Oh!...They both turn to glare at Qusai...Who gulps a bit at that glare...Buffy shaking Odai as well...

"Don't be fools, men!...There's only a handful of them...Shoot them all!..." Qusai orders...

"Pumpkin!..." Sam pulls Riley down as several soldiers aim and shoot...One striking Willow in the hip, Kennedy leaping to assist her...Dawn dragging Andrew down, Anya, pulling Xander, then Giles down...

"Take cover...!" Riley calls...Sam rolling over to take a position under a table with machine gun at the ready...She fires as do some of their soldiers...

God, how I hate guns...Buffy grimaces, watching the bullets start to fly...

But, duty calls...she sees the zombies breaking through to Braddock's men...And starts over, dragging the feebly struggling Odai...Oops...

Legs still a bit frazzled...Moving slower than Zombie Hussein would on inclined ground...

"We've got them, love...Stay back..!" William calls to her...Kicking zombie Hussein back from the colonel...Braddock pulling his men back to the other side of the room as the zombies continue to pursue, a bit slowly...

Odai flails helplessly...Several soldiers, recovering their nerve yet again, take aim...As before...A regrettable loss to Iraq...But...

Can't move fast enough...Oh well, Buffy sighs...Here we go again...She drops to the ground, Odai as well in her grip...

Naturally...Fallen and can't...she shakes her head a bit...Got try the electrical stimulation therapy when we get home...

Bullets whizz overhead...

"How dare you shoot at the heir of Saddam?..." Odai chokes out, glaring at the soldiers as they continue firing...Buffy rolling him and her over the floor as William, Braddock's group, a little safer now, hurries over...

The crowd, seeing the bullets ricochet everywhere, panics again...Especially with the zombies marching through...And over...Some of those now blocking the way to Braddock's force...

Most of the soldiers hold their fire, fearing to hit friends and superiors...After all, it's only the Husseins at risk here...Though inspired by Zombie Saddam's brave example, most would just as soon shoot the Leader and his moronic boys...

As the soldiers still firing at Buffy, Odai, and now William prove...

Riley takes advantage of the confusion to regroup his part of the Slayer's team...Sam still firing on the floor beside him...He waves the special ops soldiers with them and Giles up...Andrew and Xander helping Kennedy pull Willow to relative safety while Anya and Dawn slip past them to join the rest...

Hey, here for the full monty...Dawn reflects...Grabbing a machine gun...

Hmmn...I hate these as much as Buf does...Still...Crisis sit...she fires towards the roof...As Anya does...

More bullets whiz...More panic...

"So, love?...You're all right now?..." Will anxiously asks Buffy...As he takes Odai from her grip and holds him over them as a shield...

Help!...the disenthroned heir, Iraq's greatest playboy...cries...Bullets flying by...

"Lots better, Will..." she beams back... "I think I was drugged..." she glares at the struggling Odai...

Still got a leetle prob with the legs, though...she notes...

Unfortunately, Qusai has had time to summon more troops...The main doors open and the panicky crowd begins to fight its way though...

On the positive side, making it impossible for the soldiers to continue firing...Even the zombies can make little further progress and are soon caught in the fleeing tide...

"All is well!..." Minister al-Sahaf tries a little positive attitude...But even he is dragged out with the mob...

Happily for Odai, a large group chooses to clamber over him, Buffy, and William...Will and Buffy barely avoiding a trampling, are unable to keep a hold on their prisoner...

"Qusai...!" he staggers over to his brother...

Damn...Qusai looks at his battered sibling...Doesn't anything kill this little maniac?...

"We've gotta get outta here...!" Odai gasps...

Hello...I know that...Qusai glares...

He summons back the zombies who begin to make their violent way slowly through the running crowd...

"How are we gonna get outta here?..." Odai looks fearfully round the room...The Americans are gathering...The crowd starting to thin...The soldiers outside the room can't get in...Those inside are mostly fleeing...

"The secret exit...Here..." Qusai points...

You first, brother...he waves a hand...

"Gee...Thanks...Qus..." Qusai closes the closet door on Odai and heads for the real exit...

Hey!...Odai bangs on the door...

Fortunately he's good at kicking doors open...His favorite way of announcing his presence to potential girlfriends...He falls out into the room and spies the zombies heading for the real secret exit...

Part XX...

PG-13

Disclaimer: All BTVS characters remain the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and all other owner/creators of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series...

Summary: C'mon...You know you want Buffy and William to take on Sady and his boys...

Naturally, we assume in this AU the First's been dealt with...

Archived at the Buffy Rebecca verse, "normal" (you've got to be kidding) Buffyverse page...

. or direct to story at .

Pics and music coming...

Part XX...

Xander makes his way through the fleeing crowd of Iraqi governmental types and soldiers to Buffy, sprawled on the floor, William protectively covering her...

"Buffy?...Will?...We've got get back until this mob disperses...!" he helps Will lift Buffy back on her feet...Willow's spell still holding I see...he notes...

"I saw Willow get hit!...Is she ok...?" Buffy cries...

"Kennedy and Giles are with her...She's ok...We've gotta pull back, Buf...C'mon Will..."

"We should get after those two clowns and their zombo group..." she looks over to the no longer secret exit where Odai has just followed the last of the zombies...

"In a minute, love...Xan is right...We'll just get trampled if we don't get back..." Will tells her...

Or shot...Xander points at the main entrance where some of the Guard are rallying and taking aim...Looking for a clear target...

"Buffy...Xander...William!...Over here!..." Riley waves to them...Samantha, Dawn, and several of his troopers next to him firing to distract the soldiers...

"But..." Buffy glares back at Odai's escape hatch...Really have a desire to meet up with that clown again...For just a few...

"Darling...C'mon...We'll go as soon as things settle a bit...It'll be much easier with your chair..." Will notes to her...

"You brought my chair?...All this way?...Why, honey..."

Ummn...Well, actually...The Mr. and Ms. GI Joes brought your chair, with the rest of the equipment they could manage...he explains...

"I was a bit busy slipping in here after you...Though I did remind them not to leave it behind..."

She beams...My guy...So thoughtful...

"Ok...Lets get the old girl and make tracks..." she starts to stagger towards Riley's group...

"How did she ever get you to agree to this crazy trip?...In her condition?..." Xander hisses to Will as they move to assist the slowly-waddling Slayer...

"She's the Slayer, Xan...The Slayer doesn't need to ask...How you do think she did?..."

She cried, didn't she...? Xander smiles...

Like a river...Will sighs...

"Come on, honey!..."Buffy calls, waving...

A high-speed elevator at the end of the escape hallway waits to swiftly ferry the scurrying Odai to a secret heliport on top of the Baghdad building housing their current bunker hideout...

"Qusai...?..." he beams at his younger brother who glares round to see the millstone round his neck still hanging on... "You waited for me, bro?...Oh...I call that.."

"Don't be a putz, you little maniac...The elevator's stuck..."Qusai glares...

"Maybe the Yanks bombed up top?..."

Maybe the Yanks bombed up top...Qusai mimics, sneeringly...

"Well, maybe you should lead Dad and the girls up the stairs to the surface...If you want a free ride to safety..." he frowns...

Hmmn...Maybe I do...Odai happily takes the lead...

"But remember, jackass...I have the copter port keys..." Qusai calls...

Damn...

What an idiot...Qusai shakes his head, following the zombie troupe and several hastily gathered officers...Hope he does us the courtesy of warning us before any Yanks on the roof blast him...

Michael Corleone never had the trouble with his brother I do with this moron...

Most of the Slayer team and Braddock's men have reached the Hussein's escape elevator...Buffy pressing through in her wheelchair...

"Buffy..." William frowns at her as she attempts to start the stair climb...Rising from her chair...

Oh...She really wants that Odai...Bad...

Riley and Xander having confirmed the elevator is hopeless...

Will shakes his head...

"Sweetheart, you'll never make it up twenty-seven floors...And the building above may already be blasted...Let the colonel finish trying to reach Air Command..."

Andrew comes up, leading a hobbling Dawn...Willow's doing ok but under sedation...

Rats...Buffy frowns...No teleport option...

Unless...She eyes the team's back-up magics expert...

And Dawn's in the middle of a bubbly report on his recent success...

"Andrew...?" she looks at him...A faint smile...

Oh-oh...William, Riley, Xander immediately sense what's up...

"What's going on up there?...Odai?..." a puffing Qusai calls up the stairs as they pass the twentieth floor...To his relief, the officers with him also showing some strain...

A future interim President mustn't seem out of shape...Especially to those who might seek his job one day...

"No problem, bro..." Odai pleasantly calls back...Carried comfortably in the arms of one of the lead female zombies...Who seems not to mind the climb in the slightest...Dad seems fine as well...

"The way up seems clear...Guess the Yanks haven't hit the place yet...!...Just a bit more and we'll be there..."

Say?...he pauses...

"Where the hell are we going?...Assuming we can get out of the city alive in US-dominated airspace...?"

Bunker A-0...Qusai calls...

The Bunker A-0?...The Bunker of bunkers?...Dad's ultimate Fortress of Solitude?...But I thought that wasn't ready yet?...Odai thinks, miffed a bit...

Nobody ever tells me anything...he sulks to the young lady zombie...

Twenty floors below, the colonel confirms that Air Command has not hit this building...Yet...

And can't for another hour or so...Schedules to keep, people...he replies to the gang's sighs...

"All right, then..." Buffy nods... "Then it's up to you, Andrew...Can you get...Me..." she says firmly...A hard stare at William...Who rolls his eyes...Is it always gonna be like this?...Always, babe...her look replies... "...And a few of us up there?..."

Hmmn...Dawn quickly weighs supporting her honey against certain death for her insane sis...

Aw, she'll do it anyway...So why not make Andy happy...?

"Andrew can do it...No question..." she notes firmly...

You ain't going, kiddo...Buffy eyes her...

Aw...Geesh...Dawn frowns...

Phew...Thank God...she thinks...

No, wait...Gotta support my honey in spirit as well as word...Like Sam does with Riley...Will with Buffy...Buffy...sometimes...With Will...

"I wanna go..." she insists... "And I'm smaller and lighter, yet very capable...An easier subject for Andy..."

Not Dawn...Andrew insists...With startling firmness...Surprising Buffy and Dawn...And the others...

Why Andy?...Dawn beams for a half-second, then does her best Buffy glare...What?...

"You're already hurt and I won't chance it with you...If you go, I don't...So no one goes..." he folds his arms...

Will gives Buffy a guarded smile...The boy has potential, dear...Admit it...

We'll...See...her look back says...

God...I love that romantic telepathy...Anya's look to Xander says...

You realize I will severely injure you if you try to go...? her next look says...

Which she hastily follows-up with a harsh whisper...Just in case something got lost in translation...

"I think I may be able to manage four if we take Buffy's chair...Including me..." Andrew counts on fingers... "Yeah, four...No more...And not Dawn..." he firmly repeats...

Why, Andrew...You sweet little sexist adorable jerk hero geek cutie-pie, you...Dawn thinks, desperately maintaining a glare...

"We could take five if you stayed behind..." Will eyes Buffy...

One more isn't gonna even the odds...Especially if it's not the Slayer...she sniffs...

"The Slayer in a freakin' bloody wheelchair, still full of the Hussein boys' dope...?" he grouses...

Show a little sense, girl...

"Did you when you let me beat you silly?...Went to Africa for that damned beautiful soul?..." she glares back...

"And...If this condition turns out to be permanent..." she eyes the chair... "What am I supposed to do...Sit at home and knit during the next Apocalypse?..."

Not that there'll be one after what we did back home to the First...she notes...

"It's not permanent..." Will begins...

And if it were...? Are you telling me you'd hide in a cellar if I were fighting something deadly in daylight...? Though you should...she hastily adds...

"No...You'd be out there in a raincoat and goggles, fighting with me...And I'm gonna fight with you...In the chair if need be...Which I happen to do quite well, as a matter of fact..."

Though you really shouldn't fight in daylight with me, unless it's really bad...she adds quickly...

Arrgh...He groans...

"Ummn...Buffy?..." Xander politely interrupts...

"You're marrying a Slayer, Walthrop...Deal with it..."

Yeah, yeah...But don't come cryin' to me if you and your chair wind up between the twenty-second and twenty-third floors...

"Well...Then...We'll both be dead...Again...And Heaven's a great place for a honeymoon...Willow can resurrect us later..."

"Buffy?..." Xander tries again... Yeah?... "It is daylight outside..."

Oh...? she stares at William who smiles...Hah...Shoe's on the other foot now, eh...Dear?

"Somebody wanna get me a raincoat...?" he calls... "And could I borrow those goggles, Colonel?..."

Now...Will...Buffy begins...

"All set..." Andrew calls... "Who's ready to beam up...?"

"Lets move..." Braddock nods, tossing Will goggles and raincoat...

The roof heliport...

"Whatdaya mean none of you can fly this thing?..." Qusai rages at the officers aboard the presidential chopper, Dad and the other zombies securely tied down...

Odai looks innocently at his brother...beaming...

Guess which brother learned how to fly to impress the ladies...

"All right, all right...Take the damned controls..." Qusai glares at his smiling brother...

Just don't smash us into that building over there...Or the coalition planes coming up...

Please...Odai sniffs...I've tangled with our best pilots...Under strict orders from Dad to take me out...Anyway they could...

True enough...Qusai has to admit...

"There they are!..." Braddock points to the presidential chopper as Odai begins revving it up...Strictly by the checklist, of course...In spite of his brother's frantic proddings as he catches sight of the newly materialized Slayer and co...

When flying, Odai Hussein is a safety-first kinda guy...

The chopper's main blades start to turn...

"They're getting away!..." Andrew cries...

"Like Hell!...C'mon Will...!" Buffy yells...Wheeling with Slayer speed over to the helicopter...Followed by William in headdress, overcoat, and goggles...

"Wait, Summers!...Walthrop!...I've just called in..." the colonel runs towards them and the copter...Qusai and several officers firing guns wildly from the open side door...Braddock ducks as Buffy and Will dodging fire reach the slowly rising craft...

"...Our planes..." Braddock finishes, staring at the sight of Buffy and William holding onto the lower left skid as the copter and they rise off into the morning sky...As Andrew reaches him...Likewise staring...

Part XXI...

The skies over morning Baghdad...

"I'm gonna fly like an eagle...To the sea...Fly like an eagle...Let my spirit carry me..." Odai Hussein sings happily as he rather deftly pilots the presidential chopper between buildings...Carefully keeping low to avoid attracting any coalition planes...

Qusai grimacing at him occasionally as he stares nervously out the copter front windows...The small group of officers allowed to accompany the boys to safety in Bunker A-0, likewise taking nervous looks out the side windows...

Maybe accepting Qusai's generous offer wasn't really the best way to go...

The strapped-in zombies, including Saddam, looking reasonably content and calm...For zombies...

"What's the problem, bro...?" Odai eyes his brother... "I'll get us there...Never fear..."

"Just try to stay on course, you idiot...And watch you don't bring down any enemy planes on us..."

Hmmn...Bit unfair...Odai thinks, glaring back...I'm an excellent pilot and saving all our necks...No need to be rude...

Whoa...Mind those buildings, Odai!...he pulls himself up...Say...Aren't we listing to the left a bit?...

"Guys...? Try not to cluster on one side...Delicate maneuvering here..." he calls back...

Qusai looks back...The officers look at each other...We seem pretty evenly spread...

"They're fine...Be more careful..." he frowns at his brother...

"We're listing...Somebody's weighing us to the left..." Odai firmly replies...

"Sir!..." An officer grabs Qusai's arm... "Look!..." he points to the upper portion of the front window...

Shit!...Qusai blinks...

"Odai!...American planes coming in...!"

"I see 'em...Watch this, guys...Hold on tight!..." Odai grins...As the copter makes a sudden dive between buildings...

"Will!..." Buffy hollers, hanging onto her half of the left copter skid...

"Hold on!...Tight!...And don't lose your head cover!..."

"Thanks for the tactics lesson, Slayer...I'll do my best!..." he calls back... "I love you, too!..." he adds, grinning...She grins back...And looks up...

Oh...My...God...she spies the planes...Pointing...

"Stop that!...Hold on with both hands, girl!.." Will cries...

"Planes...!..." she cries back...

Naturally!...he returns...

"What did you expect...?"

"Building!..." she screams...As the copter skid turns up at an angle, headed straight for an office building...

The roof of the building covering Presidential Bunker B87-B...

Colonel Braddock on radio, desperately trying to reach Air Command and have the planes back off...Andrew, trying to follow the fast-disappearing Iraqi presidential chopper with Buffy and Will dangling from its left side...

A heavily puffing Xander appears at the rooftop stairway entrance, followed a short time later by Anya and Giles...Some of Braddock's men...Then Dawn...

"Wh...ere...?" Xander gasps as he stumbles over to Andrew...Who points...

"There..."

Whoa...Buffy gasps as Odai's deft touch skims the copter skid just enough over the building he's dodging around to avoid an end to a touching romance...

"William?.." she calls frantically... "Did I say I love you...Today?"

Just did!...he grins back...Gasping himself...

"We should try and pull ourselves up closer to...Yikes!..." he calls...Flattening himself against the skid as Odai veers round another building...

"Buffy!...Get up on the skid...Now!..." he cries...

My God, she did it...And quick too...

Well, 'bout time I started asserting my...Equal, of course...Share of the commands in this partnership...he thinks...

"GET THE HELL UP HERE!..." she screams at him...Tugging his arm...

He pulls himself up as well, both flattening themselves against the copter side...

"You look worse than Andrew in that thing!..." she shouts with a grin, pointing at his headdress...

But Do Not Take It Off!...she adds...Glancing at the morning sun...

"Just as long...As you don't tell anyone outside the family about my fashion lapse...!" he shouts back...

Never!...she hollers back...

"The planes aren't after us...Yet..." Odai reassures his brother...

And they can't follow us down here...

"So...? We're safe?..." Qusai asks...

"So long as they don't fire missiles or target us with their cannon...I don't understand why they haven't yet...They must be tracking us..."

"I think I have the answer, sir..." an officer calls...Pointing out his left side window...

Whoa...Qusai stares out at Buffy and William, hanging onto the left side of the copter...

"What's up...?" Odai glances back...

"I don't think the coalition planes will fire on us...For the moment..." Qusai continues to stare out the window...

Not with my expert piloting, they won't...Odai thinks happily...

"Try and keep level, Odai...Can the fancy stuff and head straight for A-0...I'll have our people there send up a smoke screen when we get close..."

But?...Whoa...Odai catches a hasty glimpse of Buffy plastered against the left side window...

What a girl...Pity there's no more of that compound at hand right now...

"The planes are holding fire...Trying to pursue..." Braddock informs

Giles...

Trying?...Xander, Anya, Dawn stare...

Riley and Sam, plus more soldiers emerge from the stairway...Hi, guys!

How's it goin'? Sam waves...

"Whatdaya mean...Tryin'...?" Xander looks at Braddock...

"They can't hold the low speed of the chopper, Harris...They've got to track it by radar...Then our choppers can move in later...One's already on its way to us..."

"Where are they likely to be headed, Colonel?" Giles asks...

"Hard to say...But once they know we're not gonna fire on them, they may straighten out and we can make a guess...We'd best be patient and wait..."

"Yes..." Giles nods, turning to Andrew...Xander looking anything but ready to wait...

"Andrew...Could you get me on that helicopter...?" Giles asks hastily...

What?...Xander blinks...

Giles!...Dawn jumps...

"I doubt it, Mr. Giles...See when the object of a teleport is moving relative to the teleported subject, the "teleportee" as it were..." Andrew begins...

"Giles...You are not gonna try and teleport onto a moving helicopter..." Xander fumes...

Especially not with Andrew as your substitute Wiccan...

"No way, Giles..." Dawn agrees...Though my Andy could do it if anyone

could...she thinks proudly...

Riley joins them, Sam following...

"Where's Buffy and William?..." she asks brightly...

There...Andrew points out across the Baghdad skyline...In the vague direction of the now-vanished copter...

Part XXII...

A lake in central Iraq...With a secret in its center...A man-made island, rising from the lake bed to just beneath the water...A combination heliport and small aircraft landing strip rising up on elevator from the water as a smoke-screen spreads out to conceal the incoming presidential copter...

Hmmn...Odai bites a lip as he tries to mentally review procedure for a landing on instruments as they descend into the blackness...Not exactly his forte, but in a crisis sit...

Say...

"What about our unwanted passengers?..." he turns to Qusai a moment...

"Best to unload em..." Qusai suggests...

Pity but they're no use to him any longer...Highly unlikely the US will place him on the short list for the interim President's job now...Another recipe for victory will have to be found...

Hmmn...Odai on the other hand still harbors hopes...Hard for him to give up that dream of being a Bush-in-law...

On the other hand, Buffy doesn't seem well disposed to him without the assistance of hypnotics...And no one needs to know who was piloting the copter after her and her boyfriend's tragic deaths...

I tried valiantly to restrain my insane brother...he thinks, mentally rehearsing his performance for the Bushes...

But...To no avail...He puts the copter into a series of sudden rocking motions...

Whoa...Whoa...Whoa!...Buffy groans as the copter lurches from side to side...William trying to brace her as well as himself...

"I'm gonna be sick...!" she moans...

Secondary problem, pet!...he notes...Whoops...Nearly lost my head covering there...

"Honey?...I think they're trying to shake us off!" she cries...Whoa!...Nearly succeeded...

"Looks like it, dear!..."

But...We are the...Whoa!...he slips, losing his grip...She grabs at him desperately and catches...Pulling him back...

"Summers-Walthrops..." he finishes, gasping...

Yeah!...Buffy nods firmly...

"Say...I'm getting fed up with these clowns...Lets take some offensive action!..." she calls...

Hmmn...He stares...As she begins smashing at the side of the copter...

"Hey?..." Odai feels his craft shaking...

What's happening?...

A crashing sound of shattering glass as Buffy smashes at the left window...

Hmmn...

William smashes open a side panel...Eyeing...God knows what, but it looks relatively important...He gives a hard smash...

"William?...Careful with your coverings!...Don't tear anything!..." Buffy calls...

What the hell are those two doing out...?...Oops...Hydraulic pressure dropping...Fast...Hmmn...I think we should be...Yep, got my chute...Whoa!...The copter lurched to the side...

"Odai?...What's going on!..."

Leaving...

"Bro...? I think it's time we headed down...Just us...And left this baby to the Slayer..." Odai hisses to Qusai...

We should take the zombies, too, I suppose...We'll need their help and they shouldn't need parachutes...

Another smash at the left window by Buffy, a rather unfriendly look on her face, one officer notes...William pounding the side in his turn...The officers look at each other...

"Sounds like a plan, my dear brother..." Qusai nods...

"Release the zombies..." he calls back... "They'll take care of the Slayer and her friend..."

Is that what these things are?...One female officer stares...

"Qusai...?" Odai hisses, looking back...As the increasingly panicky officers unstrap the zombies...

Buffy smashes the left window again...Widening an opening...

"Mind the glass, sweet...!" Will calls...

"You think maybe...So long as those guys are all gonna die now anyway...?" Odai eyes Qusai...And looks over at the officers...As he readies his parachute...One of only two...

More zombies...? Qusai looks back as well...As Dad and the female zombies begin to move at his command toward the left...

Why not?...May as well get some use out of these fellas...

Hope that pretty lieutenant keeps her looks on the long way down...Odai thinks, waving the zombies to attack/reproduce mode as the officers begin screaming...

William kicks the left window yet again...This time it goes completely and Buffy swings in...Hi...As the copter begins turning over...The zombies grabbing the nearest humans for transformation...

"Geromino!..." Odai shouts as he and Qusai open their front doors and jump, each barely clearing the now-falling copter...

Hmmn...Buffy looks to the front as Will shoves off two zombies...Who turn to easier prey, most of the officers already unconscious from the sudden flip-over...Where not already dead and transforming...

"I think we picked the wrong time to come aboard...!" she notes...Seeing the water below now spinning beneath their front windows...

Whoa...!...Hey!...The copter flips again...Several of the zombies, including poor ole Saddam, and some officers, falling out the open right side door...Buffy and William barely hanging onto copter seats...

"Don't see any parachutes...Can you fly a helicopter?..." she looks at William...

"We can give it a whirl, girl...!" he replies, pulling her forward...

But I think we'd be best off making like Butch and Sundance...he notes...If we can just find...Ah...He points...

The image of an inflatable life raft on a side cabinet, along with some bold, black lettering...

"A raft?...What does it say?..." Buffy cries...

"Iraqi to me, pet!..." Will replies, smashing the cabinet open and pulling out its contents...

Buffy punching back another zombie, who'd avoided the quick exit of the others...

She looks out the front window...Water seems much closer, she notes to William...

"It is dear!...Come on!..." he pulls her to the right side door...

Give it a good push...!...he grabs the open door side and shoves hard...As does she...The copter lurches, the right door now facing down...As he also pulls the CO2 cartridge cord on the life raft...And tugs Buffy back...

Leggo that...he points at the chair she's struggling to hang onto...And hold on!...he calls, wrapping his arms around her and the inflating raft as they fall out the open door...

Well...Odai surveys the sand and concrete strip on which he's just landed...Somewhat painfully...But not too bad...

Certainly not as bad as that poor fellow...he eyes a fallen...About 2000 feet, sans parachute...human officer...

A battered-looking figure approaches stiffly...Hmmn...Zombie?...He signs for it to halt...

Dad?...he looks...Blinking...

Wow...Still functional...Amazing...

That's my pa...he thinks...Rather proudly...

Such a shame really...Father and son have never been closer...

"Odai!..." he hears a cry...

Hey, Qus!...he calls back...

Looks like the whole family came through unscathed...

Well...He eyes Dad...

Relatively speaking...

"Their last reported position was here!..." Colonel Braddock points to a map, shouting over the helicopter's engines...The reunited gang, minus Buffy, William, and a recovering, but mobile field hospitalized Willow, look intently...Along with several of Braddock's troopers...

"A lake?..." Xander looks at the map...

"Any islands...?" he asks hopefully...The others staring at Braddock...

None that we know of...the colonel shakes his head...

But that doesn't mean they didn't come down safely on the water...

"Why would the Husseins head for a lake?..." Anya asks...

They didn't seem like self-immolating types...

"Possibly a base on shore...A ship or rig on the lake...Or something else..." Braddock shrugs...

Or they were heading somewhere else and just crashed...Dawn notes...

"Either way...We'll find them..." the colonel insists...

We oughta at least find something recognizable to bring home...Anya thinks...

The lake near the secret A-0 bunker underwater island...

"Oh..." Buffy groans...That first step...

She looks round...Hmmn...The raft is still partially inflated...Commendable workmanship...Floating on what appears to be a flat, empty lake...

"Will!..." she calls...Where...? Hmmn...she feels...A hand...no, two hands on her...Locked tight...

Reaching round her from beneath her...In fact, from beneath the raft...In the water...

"William?..." she pulls him up from under the raft...Unconscious...And rather wet...Still well covered, thank goodness...She adjusts his headdress and water-filled, cracked goggles as best she can to keep the sun away...Holding him in the water, against the raft...

Gee...Just like that scene in "Titanic"...Where the guy froze to death?...

"Will?..." she patted his face under the protective headgear...A faint moan...Oh...Phew...

Nearly thought I was 0 for 4 in romance...

He groans feebly...Twisting a bit in the water... "Will, Will..."

Never thought I'd say this...But Thank God my fiancee is a vampire...

He gives a loud groan and goes silent, passing out again...Or worse...She feels...No pulse...

Well, naturally...I guess...No wait, he has a working heart...I mean, besides that wonderfully huge emotional one...

"Honey...?" she rubs his chest, patting his hands...

Can you do CPR on the undead?...Sure wish Xander were here...

On the secret island landing strip...

The reunited Husseins take stock...About 11 zombies have made it down, including dear old Dad...All in working condition...

So far, no coalition planes have appeared...Though the smoke-screen may still be keeping at least the low-level craft away...And surely the Yanks must have tracked their copter...They'll be coming...Soon...Qusai notes...

"We must go below, retract this landing area, and prepare our defenses...For the moment we should be safe in Bunker A-0...It's two miles beneath the lake bed, protected by the lake waters, sediment, and solid rock..."

A miracle of constructive ingenuity...Odai eyes Dad with some pride...Worthy of ancient Babylon...Way to go, Dad...

"Hopefully those damned French and German engineers didn't cut too many corners..." Qusai frowns... "Lets go...Summon the zombies too..."

We'll regroup once we're safely below...And consider our options...he notes...

Options...? Odai wonders...

Of course I still have my chance to join the Bush family...But I don't see much future for Qusai...

Dad might still have a career as an object of scientific research, though...

Part XXIII...

"See anything, honey...?" Buffy calls to William, now recovered and up on what's left of the raft with her...She unable to rise for the present, he's trying to quickly scan the lake for anything to head for...Shore seeming a bit far for this thing...

Bit difficult...He squints desperately...Through these night vision goggles...

"Noth..." Parts of the raft curled up underwater strike against a hard edge...The edge of the landing strip of Bunker A-0...Now retracted three feet under water...Will falls forward...Into the water and onto the strip underneath...

Honey?...Buffy tries to get up on her elbows...The damned legs still a hindrance...

"Fine, fine..." he calls back...Sitting up on the strip, head and upper torso out of the water...

"Looks like there was something here, after all..." he notes...

And I don't think it's the lake bottom...

Two miles down, deep in Bunker A-0...

"Greetings, gentlemen...Your...Excellency...?..." a bemedalled general greets the Husseins and co...Eyeing the battered Saddam...

"Dad's had a rough time...Pressures of wartime leadership...He needs to lie down..."Odai hastily explains...

Of...Course...the general nods...Detailing an aide to prepare the Presidential suite at once...

"And this..." Qusai waves at the zombies... "Is Dad's New Elite Guard Force...Specially chosen, highly trained, and chemically treated to be almost unstoppable..."

Oh?...the general eyes the battered, blank-eyed zombies...Hmmn...Well, they do look durable...If a bit worn...

"Well, welcome to Bunker A-0...The most secure facility on Earth..."

H-Bomb-proof, completely protected against gas or chemical attacks...Food and water for years...The general proudly recites the sales list the European designers had given...

Hmmn...Looks a little slapped together in patches to me...Qusai eyes the place as they walk to the Presidential suite...

How come no one ever told me where this place was?...Odai sulks...Dad and Qus always kept stuff like this from me...

Dad however maintains his air of Presidential calm...

"Who are all these civilians...? This is supposed to be a top-secret military facility...?" Qusai eyes a large line of people huddled against the walls of the larger chambers as they pass...

"A few locals, some of our people's families...They followed our supply trucks into the lake shore entrance after the last bombing wave and we couldn't keep them out...Sorry, sir...I'm arranging to send them back before we blow the lake tunnel..."

Hmmn...Qusai eyes them...

"Not just yet...No reason to force these poor folks out into a possible US air strike on the shore when they track us here..." he beams...Politely waving at some who seem to recognize him or Dad...

"How goes the war?..." the general asks curiously... "We've been watching CNN...They claim the Allied advance against the capitol has resumed and they've reached the city...But Minister al-Sahaf's press briefing denied it all..."

"General?...Who you gonna believe...Our information minister or the Americans' CNN mouthpieces...?" Odai gives a firm stare...

So...We've lost Baghdad...the general thinks...Thank God, it's almost over...Unless these clowns keep it up down here...

Or worse yet, try to use...It...

"Weapons, general?...Troops on hand?..." Qusai asks...

"Plenty of both, sir...And we can still call in reinforcements from our lake shore tunnel until we have to blow it...There's a full Guards division five miles from here, plus Army units..."

And...It...? Is still functional...?

"Yes...sir..." the general sighs...

Oh, boy...It...Odai beams...

"Well, sirs...Excellency...Here is the Presidential suite..." the general waves them into a colossal apartment...

Cool...Odai grins...Leading Dad in...Qusai taking charge of the other zombies...

"We'll let Dad rest a bit..." Qusai smoothly explains... "But we'll join you and the senior staff in the main conference room in twenty minutes..."

Yes...Sir...the general nods, sighing as he heads off...

Allah...And I hoped this would be a great place to sit out the war...

"Qusai...?..." Odai calls as Qusai comes in with the zombies...

"What is...IT?..."

Qusai smiles coldly...

"IT...Dear brother...Is Dad's last gift to us, his heirs...Our little ace in the hole..."

Good ole Dad...Odai beams at zombie Hussein...

"But first...We need to gather all possible forces of Evil to our side..." Qusai notes...

And a few more zombies for our army couldn't hurt...he eyes Odai...Especially when there's so many useless civilians hanging around our private complex...

Oh...Great idea, bro...Odai nods...

"Ladies...And Guys..." he turns to the zombies... "Time to mingle with the locals..."

Ah...he notes the pretty...Still to some extent...Remarkably considering zombification and a 2000 foot drop...young lieutenant in the group...She made it...Relatively speaking...Nice for me...

"I'll take them...And keep the troops from interfering..." Odai notes...

"Just don't waste time choosing the pretty females...Take all you can get..." Qusai frowns...

"While I put in a call to Joseph..." he begins to lay out implements...

Like that drunk will be a big help...Odai frowns in turn as he leads the zombies off...

The sky over the secret lake where Bunker A-0 lies concealed...

"Look!..." Dawn cries from her seat, pointing down to what looks like a waving speck...

"Go in!..." Braddock calls to the pilot...The copter carrying the gang descends...

"It's William!..." Anya calls...

Hmmn...The others stare at her...

"Who else would be wearing that kind of crazy outfit in daylight?..." she notes...

I mean besides Andrew...she thinks...

"That must be Buffy...!" Samantha spies the battered raft next to William...

"He seems to be...Standing on the water?..." the colonel looks at Giles... "Can his kind do that?..."

Special kind of a guy my future bro-in-law...Dawn notes proudly...

Screams are heard from the outer corridors of Bunker A-0 as Qusai calls the conference of senior officers to order...

He politely shuts the door...Several officers staring...But hey, when you work for Saddam Hussein, screaming civilians go with the territory...

"Well...People..." he opens the meeting... "The situation may look a bit grim...But we are receiving reinforcements of Elite troops...And a powerful ally is on the way..."

Why are we letting this clown run the show?...one colonel hisses to another officer...Where's his dad?...

"Victory is certain..." Qusai beams... "If we just have face in ourselves...In Iraq...In Dad..."

Besides, we always have...IT...If all else fails...

Lovely...several officers eye each other...

And this was supposed to be the cushiest assignment in Iraq...Damn...I coulda surrendered and been home by now...they think...

Odai raps at the door and is let in...

"All's goin' well...The recruitment drive is working wonders..." he beams at Qusai...

Inspiring how the locals are signing up for our Elite Force...Women, even children, as well as men...

Excellent...See gentlemen, our resources are mounting by the moment...Qusai smiles...

"The troops outside giving any trouble?..." Qusai hisses to Odai as he comes over...

Not after our Elite Force killed a couple...Odai whispers back...

"What about Joseph?..."

"He's promised to come...With all the reinforcements he could get his hands on..."

"Sir...!..." a soldier enters...

"Radar has picked up an enemy aircraft...Helicopter...Over the lake surface..."

General?...Qusai turns to the base commander...Who sighs...Couldn't we just surrender?...he thinks...

"Have our shore batteries target them..." the general calls to an aide...

Might as well use up what we've got before the Yanks blast em out of existence...

"Buffy...!" Will calls... "Look, sweetheart!...They've found us!..."

She makes an effort to lift herself to see...As the copter descends and a life ring and cable are dropped...Will pulls it in and hauls it over to the raft...

"Just a bit!...Now just grab on here..." he tells Buffy, now struggling up on the side of the raft...She manages to grab on...

Oops...The sounds of artillery fire...Looks like someone's found them...

Buffy looks at William as the cable begins to reel up...

"Go on...!..." he shouts... "I'll be right al..." she grabs and holds him with one arm as the ring with her head and shoulders above begins to lift...Her other arm struggling to hold ring and cable...

"From now on...We do everything...together!..." she shouts down to him, pulling him up to get a hand on the ring...He looks uncertain... As the cable seems to be having a leetle trouble with the two of them...

"If you don't hold on!...I'll let go...!" she cries... "And by the way...You're pulling my arm of its socket...!" He grabs the ring...

"Can't you get them up faster?..." Xander turns to the colonel...

Lucky they're still coming up at all...It's not designed for two!...he shouts back...

Well, that's idiotic...Anya frowns...Pulling up one at a time in a combat situation...We'd be a sitting...

"Incoming...!" a cry from the pilot...Several artillery rounds whiz by, one striking the main rotor blades and the copter lurches...

Duck...

"Whoa...Whoa...Whoa!..." Buffy yelps...As the cable sways with the lurching helicopter...She and Will beside her swinging out like a giant yoyo...

Not again...she looks up at the copter...Clearly not in good shape...But it manages to right itself...They rise a bit on cable...But the copter seems to be moving toward shore...And...

Down...

More artillery rounds whiz by...

"Thank God we've both been dead!..." she shouts to William...He, scanning the shore, eyes her...

"Doesn't help though, does it?..." she adds...He shakes his head...Not really...

"Ya don't think Dawn is up there?..." she looks up anxiously...They're still rising...Which is good...But the copter is sinking...Which is bad...

"No chance..." Will shakes his head reassuringly... "Rupert and Xander would never allow it!..."

They swing forward again as the copter veers...First to dodge another round...Then involuntarily...

I am definitely gonna be sick...If I don't die first...Buffy thinks...

"Remember...Far as I'm concerned...We're married...Stick to that story when they interview you for Heaven..." she tells Will... "You're the Slayer's husband...Just in case you need a little extra recommendation at the gates..."

A common-law kinda of thing...he nods...Should work...He squeezes her hand...They rise still more...But the copter, now over land, sinks further...Lucky there are no trees here...he thinks...

"Not that you need any special help to get in..." she hastily adds...

"Can someone marry us?...Quick!..." Anya calls as the copter heads down...Xander, beside her, trying with Riley and Giles to pull the cable up...

Hmmn...Dawn eyes Andrew...

"Brace yourselves...!...They'll try to set us down...!" Braddock cries...

"Well..." William notes...

Didn't expect it would be that easy...

He and Buffy having swung rather gently into a grassy loose sand dune and managed to let go of the ring and cable...

"Will!..." Buffy calls... "Your clothes...?"

Well...I know it's not my standard look...he thinks, eyeing the overcoat...Oh...

"Still well covered, pet..."

"The others!..." she tries to look over to where the helicopter had gone down...Not too out-of-controlly it had seemed to her just before they touched down...

"I'll take a gander...Let me get you sitting first..." he helps her to a sitting posture...Feeling for anything broken...

God...Sand everywhere...Buffy groans...Hair, my mouth...My...

"Hey!..." she shouts...Startling him...

Sorry...he begins...Just checking...

"No, no...I feel something...On my feet...I feel my feet...A little..." she smiles...

Look...she points...I'm wigglin' my toes...!...

Guess this trip really is doing me some good...Oh!...

"Will?..." she looks at him...

Right...he nods...Off I go...Just stay here...Quietly...

Aboard the downed chopper...Which has landed upright without too much damage...

"Everyone all right?..." Braddock calls...

Fine...! a chorus from Dawn, Anya, Kennedy...

"Optimal..." Sam calls...

"Ready..." Riley chimes in...

"Quite all right..." Giles nods...

"We're not in Heaven are we?..." Andrew asks...

Hmmn...Xander eyes Anya...It was kinda too easy...

"Don't know..." she shrugs... "Demons aren't allowed even for business purposes..."

Part XXIV...

Grim news has reached Bunker A-0...

The capitol's airport is now in American hands...The situation...While in the televised opinion of Minister al-Sahaf, never better...Is judged rather desperate by the more military-minded...

The base commander lays out the harsh details to the Hussein boys...Hoping it may shock them into getting some grip on reality and persuading the Leader to consider either the noble gesture of self-surrender (yeah, right) or the better part of valor...Paris is lovely this time of year, he hopefully notes...

Not the best of news...Qusai admits...However...He gives a confident beam to the assembled staff...

"We are almost ready to begin our victorious counterstrike...Our new Elite Guard is heavily reinforced, our base impregnable...And a new ally is rushing to our side..."

Plus...We always have...It...Standing by...

Oh, Allah...He's crazier than Odai...one officer reflects...

Still...I would rather not "volunteer" for their new Elite Guard...

All I wanted was a comfortable spot to rest my rear until retirement the base commander shakes his head slightly...Trying to maintain a loyally confident air...Why the hell did I ever choose this place?...

A junior officer hurries in... "The enemy aircraft is down...Our troops on the lake are moving to capture any survivors...!"

"Excellent, excellent..." Qusai nods... "You see, gentlemen and ladies...All is well..."

But...The officer pauses...

Hmmn...Odai frowns...That's never good...

"Other enemy craft are coming in...Rapidly...In large numbers..."

Hmmn...

"Shall we blow up the tunnel to the lake shore, sir...?" the base commander asks...

"Is that the only way in here...?" Qusai eyes him...

Yes...If the enemy doesn't find a way to blast through the upper levels under water, dig through two miles of sediment and rock...And penetrate the two 1000 foot layers of concrete and steel shielding, separated by a 500 foot thick lead layer...

Sounds sturdy...Odai thinks...

"Well...In that case...Perhaps we'll wait a bit..." Qusai notes...

Let our foes make their fool-hardy attempt to enter...While we make like Charleton Heston in the Red Sea scene of "The Ten Commandments"...

"A little water absolves us of this deed..." he quotes...Grinning...

The officers and Odai stare...They got the "Ten Commandments" thing ok, but this...?

Qusai frowns...

"It's from "Macbeth"...? Shakespeare...?...Hello?...I thought you people had university degrees...?"

We really must upgrade our military education requirements...Include some liberal arts courses...

On the lake shore, William's made contact with the rest of the team...And with Xander's and Riley's help, gotten Buffy safely over to the downed copter area...She eagerly telling Giles of the return of sensation to her feet...The most important event of the trip, clearly...

Though...Her Slayer sense of responsibility quickly kicks in to remind her that there are other issues at stake...Strengthened by Kennedy's slight glare at hearing no immediate request from the Slayer for an update as to her Willow's condition...

"How is Willow?..." Buffy hastily works to set matters right...Kennedy relenting in turn...

Doing quite well...By last accounts...Safely evacuated to the airbase...Giles informs her...

Fortunately we had Andy available for the magics end...Dawn quickly puts in a plug for her boy...

Yeah...Buffy gives him a slight glare...Great job...But is surprised by Dawn's sharp return glare...

Hmmn...Perhaps I was a bit...Nice one, Dawny...she thinks, gauging with the eye of a professional...

You could kill demons with that glare...

"Really nice job...Andrew..." she nods at him...Dawn giving her a quiet look...Apology accepted, thanks...

What are we gonna do?...her quick look at Will says...

Just leave things be...his look back begins... "Run for cover!..." he finishes...

Hmmn...Run for cover...Metaphorically?... In regard to the concept of Andrew with Dawn?...she wonders...Or...As he grabs her...Riley pulling Sam back away from the copter, Anya, Xander...Kennedy, Giles...Dawn hopping onto Andrew's shoulders...Sorry, foot's still tender...she notes...Braddock calling to his troopers...

Machine gun fire rakes the area...

A fleet of US copters appears over the lake...In the lead copter, a certain red-haired Wiccan...Magically recovered from her recent wounds and determined to see this one through...

"Dum...dum...da-da-da-dah...Dum...dum...da-da-da-dah...Dum...dum...da-da-da-dah...Da-da-da-dah...!" she hums...

The lieutenant colonel in charge of the assault team stares at her...

"Sorry..." she sheepishly grins... "Thought that a little Wagner ala Apocalypse Now was called for here..."

Civilians...he shakes his head...

"ST-1 and -2 are taking enemy fire!..." the copilot calls from up front...

"Have the gunships move in...Get us in behind them!..."

This is so great...Dawn happily notes to herself as Andrew carries her along on his back to the shelter of some large dunes behind the copter...

Saved me twice in one adventure...Buf's gotta ease up on him a lit...She catches sight of Buffy being dragged backwards to them by William...Willow's spell having failed once and for all...A hard Slayer?...Nope, worse...Older Sister...glare in her eyes as she stares at Andrew...

Well...Maybe once she hears about our...er his...Plans to patent the freeze and invisibility ray guns...After all he's all that left of the old nerd gang...Sure to bring in money by the bushel...And sees what a provider he can be...She'll come round...

Hell, she's marrying a vampire for crying out loud...She could cut us some slack...

Back in the depths of Bunker A-0, the boys have decided to let a "rested" Dad inspire their forces...Zombie Hussein looking much improved in a new uniform sits at desk on the rear platform of the main conference room while Odai videos the speech for distribution to any remaining loyalists outside the bunker and Qusai works the ole tape recorder...

"We...Shall...Fight...On the hills...And on the beaches...We shall...Never...Surrender..."

Hmmn...Saddam does a great Winston Churchill...one admiring officer in the group watching from the floor notes...

"We have nothing to fear...Except...Fear...Itself..." Hussein does an excellent FDR as well, courtesy Qusai...

A pause...Music suddenly blares from the loudspeakers...

"I was workin' in the lab late one night...When my eyes beheld an eerie sight...As my monster from his slab began to rise...And suddenly...To my surprise..."

Ooops...Forgot to erase that bit before I gave the tape to Qusai...Odai embarrassedly looks at his furious brother...Sorry, bro...

Just a little joke...

Qusai cuts the tape...

"A minor technical glitch...But I'm sure we're all grateful to His Excellency for his inspiring words of courageous defiance..." he carefully signs for zombie Hussein to rise and wave, and leads him off...Giving one last glare at Odai...

"Any word on the situation topside...?" Odai turns to the base commander next to him...The officers murmuring among themselves...

"Our forces are attempting to capture or kill the enemy on the ground...But heavy coalition forces are moving in...Our Guards division from the north is beginning to arrive...But they may have to pull back if the planes begin pounding them..."

Which they no doubt will...the general sighs to himself...

"Sounds a little uncertain...But not too bad..." Odai cheerily notes...

Hey, it's that sunny disposition that has won him the hearts of thousands of the fairer sex...That and hideous torture of family members...

On the ground by the lake, despite the support of the newly arrived Guards division, the Iraqi forces are beginning to waver as the gunships pound them on the open shore...The gang and Colonel Braddock's troopers still hanging on behind the shelter of dunes and their copter...

Above ground, Willow tenses for her second parachute jump...

"Those guys are gonna stop blastin' away once we jump...Right?..." she turns to the force commander...

Soon as it's optimal...he nods...

Great...

She dutifully follows the guy ahead of her out the copter door...

Hmmn...Whatdaya say?...Oh yeah...

"Geromino!..."

Now I do somethin' else?...Pull the cord...Right...

The chute pops open behind her...Dragging her back...

Hey...I'm really gettin' the hang of this...she beams to herself...

Maybe I should consider ROTC while I'm in college...

Part XXV...

With the arrival of coalition ground reinforcements and the heavy pounding by the gunships, the Iraqi forces have begun to fall back...Some, in the know, head towards the lake tunnel to Bunker A-0, others for the nearby hills...

"Willow?..." Giles calls from the dune where he is taking cover with William, Buffy, Xander, and Anya...Looking up...

"Hey!..." she waves...Hitting the ground with a dull thud...Arghh!...That hip again...Think I was supposed to pull my knees in a bit...she drops in agony as her parachute settles near her...

Sure wish that magics healing cure had included a powerful herbal narcotic...She spies Giles and Xander racing over to her...Fortunately the machine-gun fire has died down quite a bit...

Kennedy zips up from another dune...Riley and Sam following...

Andrew and Dawn watching the enemy fall back... "Look..." Andrew points...A lot of them are heading into that big cave..." They move to assist a few newly arrived soldiers with their parachutes...

"What's going on!...C'mon guys...!...William?..." Buffy calls from the dune where she's been left...Flat on her back...

Somebody pull me over...!...she hollers...Hey, come on...!

Hmmn...William looks over from where he's helping Giles unhook Willow...

On the one hand...I leave her there...Maybe with Dawn...And she's safe while we all go after these fellows...

On the other hand...She stakes me the moment she can get on her feet...Or at least refuses to speak to me for the first two years of our marriage...

"Be right there, darling...Hang on a bit...Helping ole Red out!..." he calls...

The fresh troops begin to cluster, orders to get ready to move, shouted...Colonel Braddock gathers his men as well...

Xander eyes Will... "You're not really gonna try and take her along?..."

"If I have to drag and carry her, yeah...It's what a Slayer's mate does, Harris..."

Or a Slayer's assistant's mate...Anya notes, sighing at Xander...

With the enemy retreating to the hills and into the large cavern, the drop force commander confers with Braddock and the leader of the united ST team...To discuss their next move...There being some uncertainty as to where the Husseins might have fled...

Leader...As in she goes in with you guys...Buffy the Leader frowned at her team as she sat in her wheelchair...Which Andrew...At Dawn's strong hint...Well he did think to take it with them when they'd left the last bunker after Buffy and Will had gone for their copter ride...Had...Very thoughtfully, Dawn has noted several times to her sis...Arranged to have brought along...

As the group pauses to consider the proper course of action, Dawn urges Andy forward...Tell 'em your brilliant assessment of the situation, Andy...

"I'd say our objective is the cavern..." Andrew hastily blurts out... "A lot of the ones with special Guard emblems went there...And they'd've headed for the hills if the Husseins were going there..."

Hmmn...Buffy frowns...Worst thing is, he's probably right...

"I think Andrew here is right..." William chimes in...Earning a sudden glare...WhatIdo?...he looks back at her hastily...Some support my fiancee is giving me with sis...she thinks, a little peeved...But fortunately a little embarrassed as well...Will's just thinkin' of the mission, after all...She relents slightly...

"We bumped into some kind of platform out on the lake..." Will continues... "I was on it when you lot saw me...They must be down there...A base of some sort..."

Hmmn...Braddock nods...So the legends about Bunker A-0 are true...

Jacques Chirac has some 'plaining to do...

"I don't think we should go charging down in there..." the force commander notes... "They're sure to have it booby-trapped..."

"But if the rumors about Bunker A-0 are true...It's much too well protected for conventional bombs or depth charges in the lake..." Braddock points out...

If we could just get a small force in ahead of us...To disarm whatever explosives they've got down inside there...he frowns...

"Not a chance with all those troops in there..." the force commander shakes his head...

Hah, ha...Dawn beams...This looks like a job for...

"Andrew...?" she turns to him... "I think it's time to uncrate our secret weapon..."

Oh, no...Buffy groans silently...The others look at Dawn...And a sheepish Andrew...

Well...he explains...It's just our old invisibility ray...Tinkered up a little...

Grrr...

"Dawn...I told you we weren't going to use the geek trio's toys on this one..." Buffy firmly tells her...With side glare to Andrew...Yoou...Liittle...Whathaya done to my sis?... "They're too dangerous...And I don't like relying on that nerd stuff..."

Gee...Willow thinks as Kennedy applies a cold pack to her poor hip... You just flew over here in a plane and a helicopter, Buf...And them's the work of a number of...Us...Nerds...A slight glare...

"It's perfectly safe for short-term use...And Andrew's improved it..." Dawn frowns

His own patent, just filed...she notes hastily to the group at large, smiling at him...

Just in case any of these military types decide to take a few notes and diagrams...

"An invisibility ray?..." Braddock stares at Andrew...

"Short-term...Some tendency towards molecular decomposition over time..." Andrew replies...

"I told you not to bring that junk of his!..." Buffy hisses to Dawn...As the military types quiz Andrew...Will, Xander, and Giles lending him a little male support...Member of the Slayer team, after all...

"Well...Good thing I did some just-in-case packing, I'd say..." Dawn hisses back...

Knew we'd find a chance to use it...she smiles over to Andrew...

"Buf...It may make a difference here..." Willow notes...Trying hard to get comfortable...Ow!...On the mat Kennedy's fetched her...

"I'm not so hot at dematerialization spells..."

"It should only take a few minutes, love..." William, returning to her side, puts in his oar... "I think it's the way least likely to end in causalities..."

Grrr...Some supportive fiancee...

Who patched my hands when I came back from the dead...And was there for me nearly every minute of every day the past two years...Without and with soul...she sighs...Staring at his earnest face...

When certain other heroic types whose name shall be buried in obscurity...Were not...

And now...Just concerned that avoidable casualties be avoided...Like the dear...Loving...Soul he is...Damn, I am in love...

Well...A reluctant nod and wan smile to William...

O...K...

"I guess it's the best way...And I have been exposed to the ray before without harm..." she caves...

"I'm going, of course..." she hastily adds...

Right...Will sighs...

Thanks Will...Dawn beams a grateful look...

Don't mention it, sis...And I mean that...his look back says...

"Fire her up, hon...er Partner..." she turns to Andrew...

Grrr...Buffy groans...Xander and Giles frowning as well...

Oh, well...Look at how we treated William and Buf that first year they came together...Dawn thinks...Staring back...Firmly...

The main conference room in Bunker A-0...

"So..." Odai eyes Qusai as they view various TV screens giving views of the area...CNN...And Minister al-Sahaf's latest press briefing...Best comedy on TV, Odai notes...

"How will we know when to blow up the lake tunnel?..."

"When the allied troops are inside it, idiot...!..." Qusai whacks him...

"Well..." Odai sniffs, rather aggrieved... "Does that mean...When they start in...?...When they're midway...When they're about to reach the end?..."

I think it's important to get that clear...

Kid has a point...The base commander sitting nearby notes...To himself...

"Whenever I say we blow it, that's when!..." Qusai shouts... "Just watch the screens...And keep me informed...!"

He wouldn't treat me this way if my future dad-in-law were here...Odai sulks...

Near the cavern entrance to Bunker A-0...

"Ooooh..." a whistling sound...Followed by the creak of an invisible wheelchair...Which leaves wheel marks in the sand...The coalition soldiers not in on the secret look around...Rather puzzled...Giles frowns...Not a good example his Slayer is setting here...

Dawn lets a satisfied smile rise...Heh...Knew sis would be hooked once we got her to try it again...

"Cute, Buf..." Willow calls from her mat...Kennedy beside her... "You'll have the Guard gibbering with fear with that one..."

But ya better let Xander oil that chair before you guys head out...

OW!...A cry from Xander...Likewise invisible...

"Sorry..." Invisible Buffy apologizes... "Can't see you or my chair..."

Hey, Will...? she hisses...Ya wanta make out in front of everybody during the final briefing...?

Will?...

"Ummn...It's me, Buffy...William's helping Andrew invisibilize...He wanted to be sure to know how to reverse the process..." Anya replies, somewhat embarrassed...

Sounds like a neat idea, through...Can Xander and I borrow it...?...

"This is so fun!..."Sam's voice suddenly comes in, about five feet away...

"Dawn...?" she calls..."You know...My Pumpkin here..." faint sound of a pat... "Has lots of good inventive ideas...Andrew and he oughta discuss a partnership after this mission..."

"Sure...I'll ask Andy later..." Dawn nods in the direction of the voice...Yeah, right...I can guess how that'd work out...RILEY AND SAMANTHA FINN, Inc...And their little tech-geek, Andrew...Who does all the work and gets none of the credit...Or profits...

In a pig's eye...a still visible...Forced to accept her cut from this one...Dawn frowns...She and Willow eyeing each other...In mutual agreement...

Bitch...

Luckily Andy has me to look out for him...she thinks...

"...oooooh..." a few inches from her head...Jesus!...She jumps...Ouch!...

"Knock it off, Buffy!..." she grouses...And watch where you wheel that chair...she rubs her elbow...

An invisible giggle...

What a kid...Geesh...Show a little sense, sis...You're supposed to be our leader...

The conference room of Bunker A-0...

Qusai catching a few winks, a bored Odai monitors the lake tunnel TV screens with several officers...

Dullsville...And can't even have a little fun with one of my female Elite Guard zombies...All 1,000 or so lined up near the tunnel entrance for immediate deployment...Excepting Dad, of course...

"Sir...?" an officer calls over...

"Yeah...?" Thank God for a little action... "Are the Yanks coming or no?..."

"Sorry, sir...Thought I saw some equipment move on Camera 2...Must have been a trick of my eyes..."

Ah...Well...

"Why dontcha take five and bring us all back some coffee and pastry?..." Odai suggests...Generous-hearted junior commander-in-chief that he is...

Down in the lake tunnel...

"Sorry..." Andrew whispers...Having tripped over a janitor's bucket and mop...He looks up...Hmmn...Looks like a small leak in the ceiling...I thought this place was brand new?...That's awful...The Husseins should get their money back, he notes to Xander...

"Harris Construction would never allow such shoddy workmanship..." Anya proudly agrees in a whisper...

"Guys...Come on...!" a harsh whisper from Buffy, ahead in her invisible chair with William pushing...

"The main circuit lines for any explosives have to run through here...Back there..." the explosives expert detailed by Braddock to accompany them notes to Buffy and Will in a low whisper...

"Yeah..." Xander agrees, likewise in whisper...But causing them to jump...Xander!...

"Don't creep up on us like that!..." Buffy hisses... "We can't see you, remember..."

Sorry...

Hmmpf...Our Leader didn't mind doing that intentionally a few minutes ago, back outside...Just for fun...Anya grouses to herself...

"I think this should be the right point to sever the lines..." their expert uses the mop Andrew just tripped over to point out the spot...

Great...Buffy whispers...Lets do it...

"You sure that's the one...?" Andrew has joined them...

Cause that red one over there...he pulls the mop over to it...And accidently shorts the whole electrical system...Including emergency lights...

And the bombs...The expert kindly points out to an obviously, if not visibly, furious Buffy...As they race back down the darkened tunnel...Everyone, including the enemy troops, equally invisible now...

And all rather in panic mode...

"Why don't we hold up here...?" Will calls to the others...Panting a bit from pushing the future Missus' chair... "Before we get trampled..."

And...He switches back to whisper mode...Call in our fellas...It's safe for them now, right?...

Should be...The expert agrees...

That's my guy...Always cool and calm in a crisis...Buffy beams...

And always cool in general...

"Odai!..." Qusai bursts into the conference room...Where Odai is discussing the latest development, the sudden loss of power in the lake tunnel with the officers scattered about the room...Wonder what coulda caused it...? The bombers, maybe?...As they munch pastry...Could be a problem, but probably nothing...

"Hey bro...Wanta canolli...?" he waves one...

"Idiot!...The Americans are entering the tunnel from the shore!...They must have knocked the power out in there...We can't blow the tunnel...!"

Hmmn...Guess it is a problem...Odai nods...

I owe ya five bucks...he turns to one officer...

"Moron!...Why didn't you stop them?..."

Hey...We were watching like hawks...Nobody came through...Odai glares...

"Anyway...Whatda we do now...?"

"We'll have to use our Elite Guards and RG troops to fight them back...Then blow the tunnel manually..." Qusai fumes...

Gather our troops while I see where in Hell Joseph and his boys are...

"Don't blow this one, you idiot!..." he yells, racing out the door...

Show time...Odai nods to the officers...

The coalition forces on the lake shore, having received Buffy's call, move cautiously into the cavern and enter the tunnel...Capturing the few remaining troops at the entrance...

Giles, Dawn, and Kennedy, assisting a determined, if battered Willow, in their midst...

Qusai enters the large assembly area where Odai rallies the hastily assembled Guard troops...The zombie force standing by as well...

Bringing additional help...In the form of the newly arrived...Had really hoped to be fleeing to a quiet place to sit out the surrender, but what the hell...Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf...Minister of Information...

Just in time to lend his ever-positive outlook...

Odai gives the rallying cry...

"Get them, boys!...Get them!...Get them in the name of..."

Ummn...

"Qusai...? What the hell are we fighting for?..."

"For us, you idiot...!..." Qusai hollers back...

Hmmn...The soldiers look at each other...If that's all...

"And for fat perks, the right to exhort kickbacks from the oppressed populace, large bribes!...And for us not to torture and kill all of you and those of your family members still in our prisons if we manage to survive!..." Qusai glares at the wavering troops...

Ah...The usual noble causes...

The troops rally for a charge...Somewhat reluctantly...

"There is absolutely nothing to fear, men...I promise you..." al-Sahaf adds the support of his positive spin...

"The enemy down the tunnel is here to commit suicide!...And the rest are 100 miles away!..."

"Where are Joseph and his hell demons...?" Odai calls...Summoning his zombies to the front line...

Phew, collectively think the human troops...Much prefer those things in front of me...

"Right here...Hi, fellas..." Joseph materializes with three large, rather resigned, and somewhat-down-at-heel demons...

"This is the best you could do, Joseph...?" Qusai stares furiously...

"The Hellmouth's sealed, kid...I told you my powers were very limited now...You're damned lucky I could scrape these boys up..." Joseph frowns back...Wobbling a little...As are the three demons...

Damned lucky...Hic...

"You...!...Are you and your guys drunk?...You worthless!..." Qusai rages...

"Had to give the boys some...Hic...Incentive..." Joseph notes, stumbling...

"And God knows only roarin' blind drunk demons would try tanglin' wid' the Slayer now...Hic..." he glares back...

"Yeah...The...Hic...Hic...Slowya...Gunner get her at...Hic...Last..." one of the demons waves a drunken fist...

"Hey there cutie..." he eyes one of Odai's female zombies in the front ranks...Sliding up to her as she stares blankly forward...Her once attractive face rather distorted by rigor mortis...

"Afta the Sleerer kills these guys whatdya say you and I slip away and..."

"Get in line!..." Odai fumes...

The demon glares... "Heya punk human!...I'm agonna eat your..." The female zombie snaps his neck at Odai's signal...

"Nice zombie handling, kid..." Joseph nods... "You're a natural..."

Pity it's all for nuthin' now...he sighs...

"Shut up, you old fool!...And get those two in line!..." Qusai hollers...

Joseph waves the surviving two demons into line...

Hey, kid...he calls to Odai...

"Better move the stiffs back to the rear...Hic..." he indicates the lines of zombies...

"Hey, you...Whatever you are...I command our Undead Elite!..." Odai shakes his head firmly...

Ok...ay...Joseph shrugs...

"But you'll be...hic...Sorry..." he notes...Wobbling over to the ranks...

"Joseph?..." Qusai stares at him... "But you never go into battle...?"

Ah, kid...Joseph shrugs at him...

"It's all over..." he shakes his bald death's head sadly... "Evil's day is dun..."

Even that bitch Lilah Morgan ran out on me...Well...he grins...

Least I managed to get her back...Sent the IRS the real dope on her taxes...

"She'll be in da slammer so long I'll look good to her when she gets out..." he chuckles...

Well...he sighs...

"May as well go out with a bang..."

"Once more...inta the breech...Hic...Dear friends...Once more..." he calls, taking his place in the front row with his demon pals...To the right of the zombie front line...

"B'aal for Joseph...The First...And the law offices of Wolfram-Hart, Inc!...Hic...Hic..." he waves a fist drunkenly...

Huh?...The human troops eye each other...

The zombies maintaining their fixed stares...

"Get moving!..." Odai yells...Pointing...

The zombies stagger off...Slowly...Then more rapidly...Flanked by Joseph and his demons and the Guard behind...

They move down into the wide tunnel...

Gross, even by my standards...Joseph eyes several young child zombies in the line...These Hussein boys...Had...real Evil potential...But, it's all over now...

A damned shame...

Part XXVI...

As battle is joined in the tunnel...The boys, observing from the main conference room soon see the wisdom of Joseph's advice about the positioning of the zombie ranks...

Gleaned from his WWII experience as Soviet Commander-in-Chief against Hitler (now one of his partners at W-H, but hey, things change)...Those weren't actually Siberian troops who suddenly popped up to hold the Germans off at the climax of the '41 invasion...

Zombies...Good on the defensive, not so hot offensively...Kinda lacking in the kind of initiative, not to mention, speed...That a bold offense needs...Especially when neither of their commanders chooses to enter the fray to give on the spot orders...

Plus...A bit on the stupid side...Ordered to march as a solid line...They do just that...Even if that line doesn't correspond to the size of the thing they're marching into...Like a steadily narrowing supply tunnel...

"They're stuck in the tunnel!..." Odai views the progress or lack thereof on screen as best he can via battery-powered zombie-carried video...As the zombies wedge themselves together in the darkened tunnel at a junction...Each line piling on the other...Only a handful popping through to march on to the coalition line...

DAMN!...Qusai shrieks, watching a moment...

"Odai!...Go down there and get them straightened out...!...At once!..."

The front-line screens go blank as their zombie cameramen are crushed with the others...The human troops behind wisely holding back and awaiting fresh orders...While those with videos film the backs of the tightly wedged zombie force...Joseph, with his two demons watching as well in resignation...Having pulled back to the rear on seeing the impending disaster...

"Me...!..." Odai glares... "You're the one with "top control"...Who summoned Joseph and started the whole thing...You go!..."

"Damn you, you coward...As Dad's heir... I order you to go...!" he turns to several officers...

Take him!...They reluctantly seize the struggling Odai...Carrying him out...

"Guys?...You fools can't really want to go down to the tunnel?..." Odai calls as they carry him to the elevator... "Lets arrest my brother and proclaim me heir...You can both be generals..."

C'mon...We'll all die down there...he pleads...

"Who said anything about us going?..." one eyes him...As they toss him into the elevator and lock the controls on descent...

Nasty little putz, wasn't he...? the other looks at his companion as they head back...Propositioned my sister once when he was drunk one Saddam Day, you know...Very rudely...

Hell, he's "propositioned" every woman in Iraq...the other shook his head...Your sis must have been pretty ugly for him not to have her imprisoned or shot when he sobered up...

"My brother off to meet his destiny on the heroic battlefield...? Great..." Qusai beams as they enter...

That news alone is enough to get this bad day back on track...

In the tunnel, all is not so black for the Husseins...A few zombies have broken out of the wedged mass and are giving the coalition troops a little trouble...

Nothing however the ST team, especially the invisible ones working their way back to the main force...Can't handle...

Seeing their front-line comrades a bit pressed, Buffy the Leader orders the invisibles to whirl round and face the enemy...

"Get em,Will!..." Buffy yells from her invisible chair...Holding out her invisible stake...

Whoa, nice form...she beams as he tosses several heavily armed members of Iraq's finest Undead back...

"Wish I could see your moves, honey..." she calls...

Hey!...One of those guys was Xander's and mine's...Anya calls...

Nice!...Buffy calls back...Whoops...About ten more come chargin'...Slowly...

"Will, you back there?..." she tries to look behind her chair...Nothing...Naturally...

A zombie in front goes down... "Will?...That you...?"

Me...Andrew calls...

"Will?..." a tad nervous...

"Here, girl...Just got here..." he calls from behind...

"Ok, then...Grab the chair and get set...Everybody!...Charge...!" she holds Mr. Pointy...Hmmn...Which end?...she feels...Ok...Out in front of her... "I mean...Push, honey!..." she turns back...Got ya...he returns... Rolling the chair forward...

"Anybody ahead?...Get outta of the way!..."

Odai stumbles down the tunnel, grousing at his fate...

"Ah...So glad you've come to lead us, sir..." a Guards officer...Probably in shock from his wounds...Beams at him as he reaches the human troops...Yeah, yeah...he waves sullenly...

"I gotta get up front...Things to do..."

Be our guest...A number of the Guards eye him...With pleasure...

He reaches the beginning of the zombie ranks...Tightly wedged, all still trying to march froward...A number pretty much battered to pieces by smashing against the tunnel walls and their companions...

Joseph stands by with his demons...Hey, kid...He waves...

I tried to warn ya...he notes the wedged zombies...

Odai sighs and begins patiently trying to disengage enough of the Elite Force to let a few more move forward...

Ah...A little more...There now we...Wham!...A dozen march into the opening, destroying half of themselves and resealing the little gap...

"It's tough to herd so many at once..." Joseph shakes his head...

Shoulda tried just a quarter of this bunch...

Another small gap is opened...

Sounds from up the tunnel...Odai stares...

"Here comes the Slayer...I'd say..." the demonic lawyer sighs...And a pretty large back-up...

"I smell smoke...?" Odai looks at Joseph...

Probably the Yanks using flamethrowers...his companion shrugs...

Hell, kid we tried using zombies back in WWII...It's a nice stop-gap but they're just too slow and relatively easy to take out...

"It's like I told your brother...We're all washed up..." he hangs his bald death's-head sadly...

"Damn, you...Stop that!..." Odai frowns... "Even if it doesn't affect the zombies...You're depressing the hell out of me!..."

Sorry, sorry...

The coalition troopers having put the time gained by the zombie traffic jam and the Slayer's invisibles to good use, are flame-throwing their way down the tunnel...The small groups of zombies now beginning to clear the block and avoid the charging invisible Slayer and co are pretty much easy prey...

But there are still hundreds waiting to be freed...And Odai is beginning to make progress...

A group of fifty zombies is now able to break off and move on...Followed by another thirty...

William pulls a reluctant Buffy off to the side as a small horde passes...A few too many just right now, pet...Let the boys with the toys handle these lot...Our job's to make it to the other side and hold that end open...There'll be plenty left for us...

Yeah...She deftly rams a couple passing by and tosses them over to the side...Ta-dah...

"Nice...I'll have to take you spear-fishing sometime..." he notes...

"Careful, careful..."Anya calls... "They can smell us you know, even if they can't see us and they're kinda dumb..."

"Yeah...I'm getting that...Help, here!..." Xander calls from a few feet off the ground...Where a zombie has lifted...Whatever it has just run into for sniffing examination...Hmmn...Tasty smell...

"Watch its left side...!...Keep off there...!" Samantha calls...

Left?...Xander calls back...The zombie hold him trying to figure out where the invisible brain might be...

Wham!...The zombie goes down, a large section of its left side gone to Samantha's rather large ax...

"Xander...? You didn't lose anything else there?..." Anya cries...

"Nope...Everything but the eye's still here, honey..."

Sounds of intense flame-throwing from behind...The dark cavern now filling with smoke...

"Hope they stop with the firestorm before we all smother..." Riley groans, dodging a column of staggering zombies...Which he hits from the rear, swiftly taking out several...

How many'd the Finns get...? Buffy whispers to William...

Not that I'm keeping score or anything...

Further back up the tunnel...

The force's success in using flame-throwers to hold off the zombie Elite is beginning to seem its undoing...

"We've got to hold on the throwers...There's too much smoke...!" Braddock cries...

We may have to consider a temporary withdrawal...he notes to Giles...We won't be able to breathe down here soon, let alone fight...

"What about Buffy and the guys?..." Willow asks anxiously, now hobbling on a stick...Kennedy lending support... "We can't leave 'em down here alone..."

"Can't do them much good if we're all unconscious or dead..." the dropforce commander notes...Braddock nodding in agreement...

Hmmn...What we need here...Is a breath of fresh air...Willow thinks...

A breath of fresh air...she concentrates...A strong wind begins blowing...The smoke starts clearing...

Braddock gives a slight bow...Very nice...

A powerful...Wiccan...Indeed...he grins...Kennedy beaming...

"Yeah, well...Just showin' off my stuff for my girl here..." Willow smiles back...

The invisible team likewise enjoys the benefits of Willow's air flushing...

Ok...Buffy calls... "Lets move..."

However...There are now more and larger groups of zombies freed and moving down on them, courtesy Odai's efforts...

Even Buffy agrees that it's necessary to slip past these mobs quickly now and secure the opposite tunnel end...Their guys behind should be able to flame em now that they've got some kind of air blower going...

They press on, hugging the tunnel walls to avoid the larger groups of zombies...The sounds of flaming coming up to them again from back down...

Ah...Roadblock...They've reached where Odai is still trying to get his Elite Force to stop replugging the gaps he's freed and move on...

Hmmn...Buffy spies her would-be boyfriend by some lanterns, frantically signing at zombies...A few human troops nervously standing by...

Well...Maybe it's time for some fun...

"Will?...Push me close as you can get...Try to keep it quiet..." she hisses...

He cautiously shoves her forward, the others in support...

"What was that?..." Odai turns round...Looking into the dark of the tunnel...A guard shines a light...Nothing...

"...oooodaiiiii...husssseinnnn..." a croaking voice... "...Yooooourr vicccctiiimmmssss seeeeek yyyyou..."

Odai finds himself a bit isolated...The human guards not so much impressed by the potential wrath of their junior boss' many ghostly victims...Not speaking English for the most part...But definitely by the croaking...And the lack of anything showing when their lights flash about...They race through a gap back to the safety of the upper tunnel and the human troops...

"Cowards!..." Odai cries... Turning to join them...

"Hey, Odai...I thought we had a deal..."

He halts...Looking round...Wait a minute...

"Ms. Summers...?...Buffy?..."

Hey, if she's still willing to deal...Odai's the man to sell out...

"Where are you?..."

"I'm right here..." Buffy chirps... "Trying letting your eyes adjust to the dark a mo..."

He pauses...Looking round...And over at the nearest zombies...Whom he signs to move around him in a circle...

"I'm ready to deal, Buffy...Show yourself..."

Nah...she chuckles...The others keeping silent...

"I think I'd prefer to keep things professional between us...Like you surrender and I don't kill you..."

"Hey, lady...I'm on your side..." Odai replies...Still peering through the dark, with more smoke from behind adding to the difficulty...He waves the nearest two zombies to a wider circle...

"Where are you?..."

"Right behind you!..." she tosses a pebble at his back...

Damn...You bitch!...

"Such language!...Is that how you romance a girl here...? My vampire fiancee used better language when he was soulless..."

Well...Not really William thinks...But I did try to tone it down around Joyce and Dawn...

"So...You wanna...Go for it, Odai?..." Buffy smiles sweetly at him...Sadly an effect wasted on him with her invisibility and all...Still, he knows when a girl is trying to torment him...

Cause I'm waiting on ya, boyfriend...

He pauses, blinking...Then turns to stare at us...Shrugging...

"I know, I know...She's just playing with me...And this is really gonna hurt...But, hell...She's the Slayer...And when am I ever gonna get another offer like this...?"

He charges into the dark...Signing for all available freed zombies to follow...

Hard left, Will...she hisses to William who pulls the chair to the left...

Stop fooling around, girl...We got work to do...he hisses back...

Odai slams into the side wall...

"Cold!..." Buffy calls...

He pulls himself up...Waving for the zombies at hand to circle about...Searching for...

"Warmer..."

Two zombies go flying...Courtesy Riley and Sam...

"Red Hot!..." Buffy calls...

Odai spinning round...Where the hell...He brings the zombies in closer...Nothing...

Buffy...Time to move on, girl...Will whispers...

The zombies spread a little...

"Come on...guys..." Riley calls...

That way!...Odai waves the zombies around...

"Colder..." Buffy coos...

OW!...A yelp as Andrew whacks his leg on the chair...Ummn...Buffy...?...he whispers...

"We only have fifteen minutes of invisibility left...My new safety feature...And Riley thinks we oughta get moving..."

Yeah, yeah...Just a minute...she hisses...

"Colder!..." she calls to Odai...Damn...He swings the zombies round again...He and they move cautiously down...Right past their quarry...

"Are you sure she isn't more susceptible to the brain-melting features of your little toy than the rest of us?..." Will hisses to Andrew...

"Not in this limited a time period...She's just fooling around..." Andrew whispers back...

A disembodied giggle...

"You know...There's more Drusilla in you than you'd ever care to admit, girl..." William invisibly frowns, whispering to the air...

Oh, really?...Two more enemy soldiers, human come up through a gap in the zombie roadblock cautiously...

"Sir?..." One calls over to Odai... "This way..."

But a now furious Odai is determined to continue the hunt...

However, seeing the gap open in the wall of tightly compressed zombies in front of them, Buffy's Slayer responsibility bone has kicked in...

"There's our chance...Let's go on through..." she hisses to Will...

"Everybody!...Follow..." Well, not a good option... "Just head for the opening up ahead...Hurry!..." she calls...William tearing back a few wedged-in zombies to make space for her chair...They're through...

Well...So much for...Hmmn...She sees the huge force of waiting human Guards...

Ah, human foes at last...Just gotta get past them to the tunnel exit and hold things open till the rest of us come up...

But there's still one last opportunity for some fun...And they need to stir a little panic anyway...

Dru, eh...Buffy thinks...

Neat idea...She feels the wheels and moves up towards the human Guards...Hey!...Will feels the sudden jerk as he tries to hold the chair...

"...oooh...I be the ghost of Bloody Dru..." a Californian-cockney accent...Sends the less-than-stalwart human Guards flying...

Hee...

"You do know they all probably couldn't even speak English...?" Will's voice hisses...

Aw, c'mon...Just havin' some fun...she hisses back...

"Will you two get moving...?" Riley makes his way to them... "We're running out of time..."

Sorry...she contritely whispers back...My fault...Lets go...

"Buffy?...We can still make a deal..." Odai, down the tunnel, his zombies circling round him, addresses empty air...

Hmmn...He notes the smell of smoke...And hears the shouts of the advancing coalition forces...

Best to head back...he realizes...Still, worth one last try...

"Here's my cell phone number...Call me..." he leaves a slip of paper under a rock...And waves his zombie force to move onto the enemy...While he turns to head back to safety...

"Really hope you'll give me a chance to explain things, Miss Summers...!" he calls...

"There's the end of the tunnel...!" Sam calls...As the invisible group races up...Slowed by a stream of panicky human Guards through the exit...

Ok...Buffy hisses... "Now all we gotta do is go through and make sure this exit stays..."

The group suddenly rematerializes...Whoops...Andrew looks a bit sheepish...But he had warned them...

The human Guards blink at the sudden apparition...Fortunately, they're already in some degree of panic...

"This way...!" Xander calls, spying a side tunnel...Maintenance, probably he notes to Anya...

But any port in a storm of 1000 Guards troops...William pushes and drags Buffy's chair over...

"Everyone inside?...I'm ready to close..." Riley calls...A chorus of yes...

Het-huh...Buffy looks at him...

"Sorry...Ok to close her, Buffy?" she nods...He slams the side tunnel door...

A few enemy troops, recovering a little moral fiber, begin pounding on the door...Ordering them out...

Part XXVII...

With coalition forces now hard at his heels, Odai flees back past the zombie traffic jam to the tunnel's end where Guard officers are desperately trying to rally the panicky human troops while a few hardier souls batter at the door to the side tunnel where Buffy and her...formerly invisible...team are holed up...

"Blow it up..." he helpfully suggests to the men pounding away...

Can't sir...An officer pauses...An explosion might damage the main complex doors...Our last barrier to the bunker area..

Oh...Okay...Ummn...Shoot it off?...he offers...

Bulletproof, sir...Perhaps you'd prefer to re-enter the main complex?...the officer strongly urges...

The sounds of heavy gunfire and a massive flame-throwing attack up at the zombie traffic jam suggests it to be a fine idea...Odai takes the hint...Waving the pitiful remnants of the Elite Guard of zombies back into the lower level complex chamber...Joseph already there with his demons and the bulk of the surviving human troops...

The pounding continues as Buffy and co try to brace their door...

"Will...?" she calls to him as he assists Riley and Xander in ripping piping and framework from the tunnel...

Hmmn?...

"Sorry about getting you into this mess..." she begins...As she tries to direct Anya, Andrew, and Sam in placing the scrap in front of the door...

"Nonsense, dear heart...Wouldn't have missed that copter ride for the world..." he grins... "Baghdad was beautiful by air..."

Just hope no one got a photo of me in that damned headdress...

The pounding halts...Shouts are heard outside...The group look at each other...

More pounding...But...Someone shouting as well...A familiar...

"Guys, open up..." Willow calls through the door...

"They've gone back into the complex and shut their blast doors...You can come out..."

Unless you're already out here, invisible?...C'mon guys, quit fooling...she calls again...

Meanwhile...In the main conference room of Bunker A-0...the leaders review the darkening situation...

The battle is going against our boys...The coalition forces are battering at the doors of Bunker A-0, preparing to blow it...The Guard remnants behind it are rather demoralized...

Though zombie Hussein and the few remaining members of the Elite Force retain a commendable air of calm...

"We must summon extra help!..." Qusai hollers...Turning to Joseph...Who shrugs...

There's nobody left fellas...

"Coward!...Loser!...I shall call forth the First...!..." Qusai rages... "She will help us...!"

Please...Don't call her...Joseph sighs...She might actually come...And...the way she is now...She'd be no help to you...And

"I couldn't bear it..."

Qusai shrugs him off and begins the incantation...

A glow...Faint...

"She'll need a lota help...She's pretty well wiped these days..." Joseph tells him resignedly...

But I tell ya, kid...It's no use...

And it won't be pretty...

"Odai...Fetch Dad's supply of magic orbs...The big closet on the right...!" Qusai points...

Odai goes over...Dragging out four large glowing orbs...He has soldiers take them to Qusai...

"More than that..." Joseph shakes his head... "She's almost powerless..."

"Odai!...Go!...Grab the leftover plutonium the North Koreans sent last month for Dad's Doomsday device!...It's in the basement, lower level...The big lead-lined trash can!..."

Doomsday device?...Joseph perks up a hair...

At least the faint possibility of going out with a modicum of dignity...

"Your dad's gotta doomsday device...?" he asks innocently...

Yeah, yeah...Qusai nods impatiently...An old Russian system from the sixties...

"We picked it up from the French a few years ago...Cheap...Dad thought it might be useful...But it's clunky and takes a huge amount of plutonium...Took years to get enough scraped together...And it wasn't much good...You hafta turn it on for the other guy to detect it...And then it's too late..."

Even Dad wasn't crazy enough to try and use it...

Hmmn...Joseph ponders...

Odai returns with two soldiers lugging heavily shielded containers marked "Plutonium"...in French...

The main blast doors are still holding...But the Yanks must be getting ready to blow it...he reports...

"And what a rip-off on the plutonium..." Qusai glares at the containers... "The damned French and Russians sold it to Kim, he sold it right on to us at a huge mark-up..."

Well...Is that enough power for her to manifest...? he eyes Joseph...

Yeah...The demon leader sighs...

"But look, kid...I'm beggin' ya...Ya don't wanta bring her up...Not the way she is since her last fight..."

Qusai waves him off and continues the ceremony...

The glow becomes stronger...A white light...The First, in Morphy Buffy form appears...Looking rather peaceful and benign...In rather a combination of Ophelia's weeds and a 60's flower child's garment...

Oh, B'aal...Joseph rolls his eyes...

"Hi...?...Who needs the First's aid...?..." she asks happily...

"The First is here to help..." she smiles... "Though...I'm sorry but I'm a bit low on the power scale right now..."

"I have summoned you, First..." Qusai calls... "I, Qusai Hussein..."

To assist us...The heirs of the Hussein dynasty...In preserving our evil Empire...

Oh...She nods...

"Well...I must tell you...Qusai...I don't support evil causes anymore..."

Whoa...Another Buffy...Odai eyes her...Smiling...She returns the smile...Hi, there...

"What?..." Qusai stares at her...Not exactly the First I expected...

Joseph shrugs...Told ya...

"What do you mean...You don't support evil causes?...You are the First Evil..." Qusai fumes at her...

"I am the First...But...After my recent altercation with the Slayer...You know her?...I sat down and took a good, long look at my existence..." she gives him a deeply soulful look...

And I realized...I never chose to be the First...Evil...It was just something people assumed I was...Until I gradually came to accept it as my nature...

"But losing to Buffy Summers and her friends made me see...I don't have to be Evil just cause everyone around me says I am...I can choose my own path...Like Buffy did..."

Buffy...Is my new role model...she happily notes...

"But I hope to even do better...She does have an unfortunate penchant for violence at times, you know..."

And she was very hard on her poor William and her friends for a while...

Odai looks at Qusai...?

"But..." the First looks down... "I suppose the darkness in her came from her Slayer link to my old, unhappy nature...My longing for any kind of connection to your physical world...Even a dark one...Now though, I have had a great revelation...And now...I want to take on the more loveable sides of Buffy's multi-faceted personality..."...she smiles...

"But...What does this mean?...We are your loyal followers!...You must help us!..." Qusai stares at her...

Well...I would like to...she beams...

"Perhaps I could negotiate your surrender...?...Buffy won't be too hard on you if you surrender...She never takes advantage of a defeated foe who shows some capacity for reform..."

Lets give Peace a chance...she concludes...Smiling wistfully...

What?...Qusai looks at Joseph...Who shrugs, waving hands...

"Oh...Joseph..." the First catches sight of him... "When will you turn from your dark path and seek the way of Light...The Way of Buffy's sweeter side?..."

"Come on, lets sing..." she beams... "Singing connects us to the loving child within..."

"All we are sayin'...Is give Peace a chance..." she begins...

"Oh...B'aal!...Hand me over to Trotsky and Bukharin and the rest of my old Party right now..." Joseph moans...

"Joseph...That's your guilty Stalin soul speaking..." the First notes...Beaming at him...

Come on now...Wouldn't you like to face those you wronged in your past existence on Earth and beg their forgiveness...?

Oh...Joseph shakes his head, stumbling off...

Doomsday device, eh...?

"He's right..." Qdai nods to Qusai... "This is humiliating..."

Thank God I'm secretly on the side of Justice, Texas-style (Dallas, Texas, that is), and the Right-wing American Way...he thinks...Clearly, Evil is way beyond whipped...

"All we are sayin'...Is give peace a chance..." the First resumes her song, swaying with the music as she strolls about the chamber...Offering flowers to the various officers and soldiers...Non-corporeal of course...

Pathetic...Still...Nice gams...Odai notes...

An explosion rocks the bunker...Suggesting that the last barrier to the bunker complex is down...

"Shut down all elevators...!...Have our troops take positions on the lower floors!..." Qusai commands...

I dunno...Odai thinks...That "Give peace a chance" thing is beginning to make sense to me...

"The allies are advancing towards the main complex floors!..." an officer cries, watching his screen...

"I could go and speak to them for you, fellas..." the First suggests kindly... "They can't hurt me and Buffy will listen...She always listens to the sincerely repentant, peace-seeker whom she can't easily kill...Come, Joseph...Let me show you the Way of Buffy and Light..."

Ok?...she smiles at Qusai...Who shrugs...Whatever...Just, go...

"Whatdaya we do now, Qus...?" Odai looks at the departing First...Joseph stumbling after her...Resigned to his fate...Perhaps...

"Ya think she can get us a good deal with Buffy?..."

The First wanders slowly through the fighting masses...Offering flowers in with a wan smile...

"Imagine all the people...Living life in peace..." she warbles dreamily...

Joseph, eyeing her as he stumbles along, sadly shakes his head...

Doomsday device, eh...? he thinks again...And vanishes...

Joseph?...The First looks for him...Hmmn...Oh, well...He'll give in one day...

"Buffy?...Hi!..." she waves as she spies Buffy and William entering the chamber from the rear with the rest of the gang in support...

Suddenly vanishing and reappearing just in front of them...Buffy staring...Xander jumping...Whoa!...

Don't wanna interrupt your latest victory, Slayer...But...Could we talk a moment?...she eagerly asks...

"In the interests of peace and love..." she solemnly states...

Boy, did we fix her wagon...But good...Willow notes to Giles, eyeing her...It's almost a little pathetic...

"So if you could see your way clear to allowing these misguided fellows to surrender peaceably...This can all end without any more violence..." the First smiles to Buffy...

Which is good...Cause violence is bad...she offers Xander a flower...

"Our only hope is to slip out to the emergency exit elevator to the surface...Then swim for it..." Qusai notes...As he and Odai make their cautious way through another crowd of fighters clogging the stairwells to the upper levels...Zombie Dad in front, kindly clearing a safe path for his boys...

They reach the open balcony above the large chamber where Buffy and co are "negotiating" with the First...Just a little bit further and...

"There are the boys..." the First calls happily... "Odai!...Qusai!...Buffy says you can surrender now...!"

Whoops...

Well, Odai sighs...Maybe surrender's not such a bad...

A blaring alarm sounds...Red lights flash everywhere...!

Oh my Allah!...Qusai pulls up short, looking at the lights...

"Wait...Wait...!..." he waves at the fighters...

Truce...Take five...he calls to his troops...Waving the surviving zombies to stand down as well...

"Slayer...! We must talk...Now!..." he yells as Buffy and co move up on them...The First happily following...Peace is at hand...she contentedly notes to Xander...

Which is very good...And the Way of Buffy...

Uh-huh...Xander nods kindly to her...

"Some fool has activated...It...!" Qusai looks at Odai...

Hey...I'm right here, ya know...Odai frowns...

"What the hell's...It?..." Will calls to them...

"Our doomsday device...It has been activated...! World destruction is pending...!"

"We...er You, Slayer..." Qusai turns to Buffy... "Must shut it down...At once!..."

Please?...Odai gives his most winning smile...

Play

"We'll meet again...Don't know where...Don't know when... But I know we'll meet again, some sunny day..." Joseph warbles as he sits by the controls of the doomsday device...

"Global destruction will commence in four minutes..." the machine tells him in Russian...

Da...Joseph thinks...This is the way to go out...With my own people's manufactory...

In the end, I am true to my roots...No more will I be the evil stooge of Capitalism...he takes a swig from his vodka bottle...

Even if Lenin and the old gang would kick my ass if they could catch up with me...

Part XXVIII...Conclusion...

In the main lower chamber of Bunker A-0 an impromptu truce is arranged...Under the impending threat of global destruction...

"So...Mr. Bush was right about you guys...?" Xander eyes the Hussein boys...

Hmmn...Odai politely looks...? What did my future dad-in-law say 'bout us...? he thinks...

"You guys have the mass destruction stuff and all..."

I haven't seen it...Dawn sniffs...

"Isn't wonderful, Buffy...?" the First beams at her twin... "My first success in peacemaking..."

Yeah...Buffy nods...Say... "Didn't I leave you trapped powerless in Hell?"

Qusai and Odai very kindly lent me some additional power from their plutonium stockpile...she beams...Just a one time trip...In the interests of peace...

Why is she dressed like Ophelia in "Hamlet"? Willow hisses to Giles...

Hmmn...Metaphoric insanity, perhaps...he notes...

Thanks to your teachings and example, Buffy...she smiles...

"Buf...?" William pulls her chair over as they and the coalition forces move for the room housing the Doomsday device... "What...teachings?..."

She shrugs...God knows...But she might be able to get into that room and keep that maniac Joseph busy...

"I would be happy to talk to Joseph for the cause of peace..." the First nods at her twin's request and beams, vanishing...

"A strange personality, the First..." Andrew solemnly notes to Dawn... "Easily manipulated by the first strong individual it meets, actually..."

Good, honey...Lets you keep away from it from now on, though, right? she firmly eyes him...

Yes, Dawn...he nods...

Countdown now at one minute...

Impenetrable, Qusai notes...To Colonel Braddock's query at the door to the Doomsday room...Without the proper codes...

Which I will now give you...he hastily pulls out the code book as Braddock shoves a pistol in his face...

"Best to hurry this, colonel..." William suggests...Buffy beside him looking for anything that might force the door...

Maybe a good ole-fashioned Slayer...She kicks at the door...Drawing surprised looks from Willow, William, and Xander...

The code lights on the light go out just as Braddock has finished entering Qusai's codes...

"It does that..." Qusai notes...

"I think the locking system is shorted out..." Riley sighs...

Oops...Buffy looks sheepishly at the gang, putting her foot back down...But hey?...

"I moved my foot...!...William, look, my feet are working...Some..."

"Wonderful, dear..." he smiles...Well, at least we may now be able to walk into Paradise together...

"Willow?..." Sam turns to her... "Can you magics the door...?"

Protected against magics...she shook her head...Sorry...

"Then what the hell is all the mumbo-jumbo good for?..." Samantha grouses...

Ah-hah!...Willow eyes Kennedy...Knew she was thinking that...All the time...

Twenty...Nineteen...Odai chants...

"Shut up, idiot!..We know..." Qusai whacks him...

Say...Where's Dad?...Odai asks...Ah...There he is...He moves over to zombie Hussein near a hallway door...Qusai follows...

At moments like these...It's nice to have one's family about, Odai notes...

"Shut up...And follow me...Just in case the Slayer manages to shut down the Doomsday device..." Qusai hisses...

"Don't you start a countdown, Andrew..." Dawn eyes him...

No...Dawn...

"Remember...Be nice to my Mom when we get to Heaven...She'll smooth things with Buffy and Will..."

Yes...Dawn...

Buffy hops up carefully from the chair...Trying the door while holding on to William who also gives a last try...No good, she sighs but realizes...As she grabs her fiancee for dear life...

"William!...Guys!...I can walk!..."

Inside the Doomsday device room, the First sighs as Joseph refuses to see the benefits of the Way of Buffy...

Ha!...Ha!...A triumph for Evil at last...Joseph beams as the clock ticks to zero...A loud rumble...

One more chorus...he begins...Awaiting vaporization... "We'll meet again..."

Hmmn...Nothing else happening...And that rumble sounded...Taped...

A rather clunky panel opens on the machine console...Revealing an old style cathode ray TV monitor which lights up to reveal the stern face of Nikita Khrushchev...

"Attention!...In the interests of demonstrating the peace-loving intentions of the peoples of the Soviet Union, this device, designed to protect the interests of the Soviet State and its allies, has been prevented from functioning...! But look upon this three-minute film of the horrors of thermonuclear war and know!...That next time the Soviet State will not offer a mere... "demonst..."..." Joseph smashes the screen in fury...

Damn that Nikita...! That miserable little peacenik...!

First he blackens my rep...Then he caves to Kennedy...Now this!...he shrieks in fury...Then puts his head down on the console, sobbing...

The First tries consolation...Oh...Joseph...There, there...

"You really must try to find a new Way...Why don't you come back to Hell with me and we'll talk it out..."

Lots of your old Bolshevik friends have embraced the Way of Buffy...she notes...Even Lenin...

"They wouldn't want to see me again...I had them all tortured and shot..."

Well...she sighs...That is true...And some do still hold grudges...But...Hey...That was then...This is now...And Time heals all quarrels...

Come on...What's the worst that could happen...?

"They could torment me in Hell for all Eternity...That's what you threatened they'd do when you offered me demonic authority and the Wolfram-Hart partnership..."

Well...I was kinda nasty then...she smiles...They couldn't torment you for more than the time you tormented them...It's the rules...

Lenin's giving a symposium tonight...she eyes him...You're invited...

Really...?

"Of course...Then they get you in a room alone for ten years of agony..."

Not so bad...he reflects...If the guys are willing to settle for just an eye for an eye...Literally...

I do have all Eternity...Hmmn...

"My wife wouldn't...Possibly...?"

Hmmn...Sorry...Heaven for the innocent...the First shakes her head... "And she's gonna bear a grudge a long, long time..."

Where are the Husseins?...Buffy looks around as the team forces the door...It now clear the device is not about to go off...Ever...

"They must've slipped off in the confusion..." Riley notes...

Don't worry...They won't get far...

Heh, heh...Qusai notes to Odai as they slip carefully along a side passage...

All is sorting out rather well...No Doomsday and in just a minute, though that door...The secret passage to a hidden boat dock...

Cool...Odai nods...

Too bad...zombie Dad needs a feed...And that I don't intend to allow more than one in the boat...Qusai thinks...

They activate the door...It slides open and they enter...

"Who the hell are you guys...?" Qusai looks at the room of Saddam doubles...

Whoa...Odai stares...Still, they don't all really look that much like Dad...Look at that fat guy with the blue eyes...

"They are my Special Corps of body doubles, you idiot...!" The blue-eyed man rises, stepping forward...Removing colored contacts and a false chin...

Dad...? the boys stare...

"Qusai!...Odai!...You...Fools!..."

"Dad?...You're alive?..." Qusai blinks at the real Saddam...

"Of course, fool!...Allah!...And I thought you were the sensible one...!..."

Right, go ahead and act like I'm not even here...You always did...Odai sulks...

"But...Even Joseph thought..." Qusai stares... "He spoke to your spirit in Hell..."

My spirit double, you mean...Saddam grins...The doubles likewise grinning...

"Of course...I've been running the country via one of my doubles since Hell sent Joseph to persuade me to launch that nonsensical invasion of Iran...I knew this day was coming...And had no intention of ending up like some cheap imitation of Adolf Hitler..."

Moderation, Qusai...Saddam shakes his head...As do the body doubles...Always trying to perfect themselves...

"What did I always tell you...We're not the A-team of Evil...Iraq is just a nice, small...Slightly plunderable country...I'm just a third-level dictator...We don't try to conquer the world...Or destroy it..."

And, when the time comes...We do not fight to the bitter end...We slip out, like Idi Amin did, retire, and enjoy the good life...As I've been planning to for the past 15 years...Waiting my chance...

"If only Bush, Sr. had pushed onto Baghdad back in '91..." he sighs... "I woulda been on the Rivera ten years by now...A nice little chateau..."

But...A strong man dictator can't leggo the throne all that easily...So I've had to sit and wait...Keeping my secret even from the minions of Hell...

But it's a dream I still plan to live out...he glares at his boys...And will, now...

"As John C. Krueger, Jr...Retired insurance executive...Formerly of Hoboken, New Jersey..."

Call me, Jack, boys...Saddam gives a wide all-American retired businessman's smile...

Hoboken...? Odai blinks...

"Though...I may be lying...That's why my doubles are escaping as well..."

"They shall go to live similar false lives in various lands...Just in case somebody..." he glares at the boys... "Rats on me to the Yanks..."

No one will ever know which life I have actually chosen to lead...

"But...What about us...Meaning me...?...Can we...Meaning I...come too...?" Qusai looks at good ole Dad...Dear Papa...

"I think not...Sorry boys...No room in the boat..." Saddam sneers...

Especially for sons who betray me...Even one of my doubles...

Yeah...The doubles glare as a group at the boys...Especially one of his doubles...

All pull guns...Saddam smiles...Opening the outer secret passage to the hidden boat mooring...

"A last word of advice, my sons...Two, actually..."

Unconditional Surrender...The words you two should now live by...

"I look forward to reading about your fates in "Time"...!" he waves a goodbye...

Dad?...The boys look after him...As the passageway door closes...

And zombie "Hussein" indicates it's feeding time...Forcefully...

"Him...You want him..." Qusai waves at Odai...

Me?...

"But Qusai...Everyone knows...You're the...Brains of the family..." Odai notes...

Hmmn...the zombie eyes Qusai...Brains?...Yeah...

No...No! Arrgggghh...

Eehew...Odai eyes the remains...

"Odai Hussein...?" A small man enters the room...In dark suit...

Yeah...? Who...

"Your CIA contact...Wirms...Please come with me...Some people are waiting to debrief you..."

Odai hesistates...Ummn...

"Some are women, Mr. Hussein..." Wirms nods...

Oh...

Neat...

"Well done, people..!" On finding the last zombie Hussein and the human remains it was dining on, presumably one or both of the Hussein boys...Colonel Braddock pronounces the mission...A success...

"Andy..." Dawn beams...Perhaps eager to exaggerate her feller's accomplishment... "Ya saved my life...!"

She eyes Buffy...Who glares...

Aw, c'mon sis...her look pleads...

Arghh...

"Buffy..." William looks at her...Hell, girl...This one is breathing...And human...

"Nice...Job...Andrew..." Buffy reluctantly grouses... "Thanks..."

A content Dawn, knowing when not to press her luck, happily pulls her, nearly shocked as Buffy, Andy away...

Buffy gives Will a hard stare...

"Buf...She's just a kid...Plenty of time..."

She rolls her eyes...God, Walthrop...You of all people oughta know...When a Summers selects a mate, the potential for lifetime use is always there...If the guy has any staying power at all...

And Andrew clearly is the type to hang...

Damn...Why couldn't you have saved her...? Buffy hisses to Xander...

Cause I'd've preferred he didn't...Unless absolutely necessary...Anya firmly hisses back...

London...Buckingham Palace...

"And..." the Queen pauses...Eyeing the kneeling William carefully...As she raises her ceremonial sword...

Buffy beaming from the side...Now on crutches, soon to be footloose and fancy-free...Until the wedding, of course...Eyeing her own medal and commission happily...That's my lil' blonde human-souled hero boy there...

"For meritorious service in the recent conflict in Iraq, involving the rescue of large numbers of our gallant Allies...I dub thee..."

"No!...Stop!..." A cry from the rear...

"Angel!..." Dawn, Buffy, Xander, Giles all turn...

A harassed-looking Wesley following after him...Sorry folks, couldn't hold him...his expression saying...

"I'm the hero!...Me...Angel of LA...!...Buffy?...Are you outta your mind?...Whatdaya think you doing?..."

"Boss...Please..." Wes hisses...Angel waving him off...

Buffy excuses herself and goes over, quickly giving Will an "I'll deal, honey..." look...

The Queen leans over to a guard...Who is that bloody stupid fellow with the pointy hair...?

"Angel...It's over...Give it up..." Buffy hisses to him...

Darla's waiting for you in Heaven, I'm sure...Now go home and stop bothering us...

"But Buffy...I'm your true..."

"Look pal...You were the one who never showed when I needed you until the Apocalypse was gonna blast "your" city off the face of the Earth too...Who told me we were "taking different paths"...And who didn't even have the slightest intention of sticking round after we beat the First..." she glares...

"What we had was nice...But you woulda found a way to stay if you really had cared all that much...Like Will did..." she beams over at her feller...

Besides...I just found out during the course of my recovery that I was Will's lover back in 1880 as well...she notes...

Lover...And secret wife...she grins...

He stares...What?...

Memory flashes...Looks like I musta been reincarnated to save him...she smiles back at the waiting, still kneeling Will...

"I'm sorry I didn't realize you were the wrong human-souled vamp when I first met ya...But these reincarnation things are never easy..."

So...I'm sorry...But you have Connor...And Darla's your true...So...Sit down and enjoy the ceremony and we'll tell everyone you're my cousin who likes to play dumb practical jokes...

"No!...No!..." he glares...Grabbing her...

"I'll won't let it end like this...Not with him getting..."

My knighthood...

She glares back...Jerk to the end...Couldn't even pretend it was me he cared about...

"O...K..." she mutters...

"Oh...My...Angelus...!..." she puts a "horrified" hand to her face...

"You're finally back...? To kill us all and destroy the world, you say...?"

Buffy?...Angel stares as she whips up Mr. Pointy...

"Well, then...Here's the deal..." she stakes him...

And resumes her spot as everyone looks at each other...

Evil Vampire...And jealous ex-...she explains...

Oh...

Hey...Lots of surviving Watchers...Including the Queen herself...In the crowd...

So...I'm the new Head of Angel Investigations, eh?...Wes thinks...Rather happily...

"Well done...Hear, hear..." a few quiet words of praise from the crowd...

She gives Will a beam and wink...Problem...Solved...

"Buffy?..." Dawn stares at her...As Andrew asks her who this "Angel" was...

"Eh...He'll be much happier with Darla up there..." Buffy shakes her head...

And it coulda been Angelus...

The Texas ranch of the current US President...Where a victory reception is in progress...

"And this..." President Bush beams...To a startled Colin Powell...Eyeing the loathsome thing about to be presented to him...

"Is my future son-in-law...Who's givin' us so much help over there in...That a-rab country, you know, Colin..."

Iraq, sir...Powell sighs...Staring at a smiling Odai Hussein...

"We've met..." Powell nods curtly... "Hello, Odai..." You filthy little murderer...he thinks...

"Colin, hey..." Odai nods back...

"Our Odai here is a real fighter for dummoxcracy and human rights..." Bush solemnly notes... "Been workin' on our side in secret all the time...Got those northern oilfields all sewed up for us...er for them... (Iraqi?...Powell suggests...Right, Bush nods) Araqi people..."

"He's my kinda boy..." Bush fondly puts an arm round Odai...Who beams happily... "Gonna marry my little..."

Say...Which of the twins you marrying, kid?...he asks...

Either...Both...Odai grins...

"That's the Texas way!..." Bush slaps him on the back...