This piece of insanity is by me and my friend Axl, because we were bored and wanted to write a bash fic. And we don't like Kagome.
Also, the second half was written after we had doughnuts, so if it's weirder, that's why. Sugar is dangerous.
Disclaimer: Inuyasha and its characters don't belong to either of us. But Riuka, Eclipse, and Wreck belong to me (I assume I don't have to say that DVL does too), and Seravo and Lyvirie belong to Axl. No stealing.
Fyr: Not even by me?
DVL: No. And annoying muse Fyr belongs to me too.
Fyr: I do not.
DVL: Yes you do.
Fyr: No I don't.
DVL: Yes you do.
Fyr: No I don't.
DVL: Yes you do.
Fyr: No I don't. (hits DVL on the head)
DVL: *dizzy eyes*
Fyr: Now I control the fic...hehehehe...YOM, people!!!
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*In First Hell*
Riuka: Eclipse! We're going to Inuyasha!
Eclipse: Why?
Riuka: To monitor the activities of its demons.
Eclipse: ...
Riuka: ...and to blow stuff up, of course. Let's start with Kagome.
Eclipse: Hehehehe...
Riuka: Hehehehe...
Eclipse & Riuka: MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!
*Inside Inuyasha*
Seravo: I don't see why you wanted to come here.
Lyvirie: I'm tired of Kagome. She gets on my nerves.
Seravo: Then stop watching the show.
Lyvirie: I LIKE Inuyasha.
Seravo: Of course. He's such a cute little puppy. Gag.
Lyvirie: Shut up Seravo! I do NOT say that!
Seravo: Yes you do.
Lyvirie: No I don't.
Seravo: Yes you do.
Lyvirie: I don't have to argue with you like this because I know what I say and you do not because you are just a stupid little kid!
Seravo: (sticks his tongue out)
A demon attacks Seravo from behind and knocks him over.
Lyvirie: Seravo, are you okay?
Seravo: (gets up) I am, but this guy isn't going to be after I'm done with him. (transforms into his demon form)
Seravo attacks the demon and ten seconds later it lies in bloody shreds on the ground.
Lyvirie: I'm not cleaning that up.
Riuka and Eclipse show up.
Riuka: I'll do that. The thing was pathetic anyway. (gets rid of remains)
Lyvirie: Who are you and what are you doing here?
Eclipse: We're here to kill Kagome. I'm Eclipse and that's Riuka. She's the Devil.
Seravo: Looks like we're here for the same reason then.
Lyvirie: I'm Lyvirie and this little runt is Seravo.
Seravo: Hey! I'm not a runt!
Lyvirie: Oh be quiet. And don't you dare say anything about me. I know how you are.
Seravo: (sticks his tongue out)
Eclipse: Well...does anyone know where Kagome IS?
Seravo: Uh...no.
Riuka: Dios went to look for her a while ago. He should be back soon.
Eclipse: Isn't Dios your pet demon?
Riuka: Yeah.
Eclipse: So who's running First Hell?
Riuka: ...uh...
Eclipse: D'oh!
Seravo: I'm confused. Can we just go look for Kagome ourselves?
Lyvirie: You aren't the only one confused and no we won't look for Kagome by ourselves.
Seravo: Well I'm going. (tries to walk away)
Lyvirie: (touches him with her staff and shocks him)
Seravo: (falls flat on his face)
Riuka: Her I like.
Dios comes back.
Dios: I found her.
Riuka: Good. Where?
Dios: (points) That way.
Riuka: (waits)
Dios: What?
Riuka: How far?
Dios: Uh...
Riuka: (hits Dios on the head)
Eclipse: Let's just go that way. It can't be THAT far.
*Three Days Later*
Lyvirie: Not that far, huh?
Eclipse: Shut up.
Lyvirie: Who do you think you're telling to shut up?
Riuka: I see her!
Seravo: Is she with Inuyasha?
Riuka: Look for yourself, Annoying Boy. (grabs Seravo and points him the right way)
Seravo: Let me go!
Riuka: No. LOOK!
Lyvirie: Just drop him.
Riuka: Persistent, aren't we? (drops Seravo)
Seravo: (falls flat on his face)
Eclipse: Graceful.
Seravo: (gets up slowly) Shut up.
Eclipse: Yeah. Anyway, are we gonna kill Kagome or what?
Seravo: I wanna be the one to kill her.
Lyvirie: You can't.
Seravo: Why not?
Lyvirie: Because I said so.
Seravo: So what if you said so?
Riuka: Neither of you can. I want to do it.
Lyvirie: Why do you want to kill Kagome in the first place?
Riuka: She annoys me. I kill what annoys me.
Lyvirie: Well I'm going whether you like it or not.
Riuka: No I am. (runs off toward Kagome)
Lyvirie: (teleports behind Kagome)
Riuka: Oh no you don't. (throws sword at Kagome)
Kagome: Ahh! Inuyasha HELP!
Inuyasha: (grabs sword out of midair) Hey! Leave her alone! (attacks Lyvirie)
Lyvirie: *sounds like Kagome* Sit boy!
Inuyasha: (falls flat on his face)
Eclipse: Nice trick!
Lyvirie: Now you be a good puppy and STAY.
Wrecks makes a random appearance and takes away IY on a leash, saying "GOOD inu."
Eclipse: Where did she come from?
Seravo: I was about to say the same thing.
Kagome: Inuyasha! Now what do I do?!? Oh...
Miroku: Never fear, Lady Kagome! I shall protect you! (sees Lyvirie) Oh... (looks between Kagome and Lyvirie) Hmm... (joins Lyvirie) Actually I think I shall protect her.
Lyvirie: Touch me and DIE.
Shippo: (jumps in front of Kagome) Don't worry Kagome. I'll protect you.
Lyvirie: *thinking* He's WAY smaller than Seravo.
Eclipse: (shoots energy blast at Shippo)
Shippo: (goes flying away) Ahh!!!
Kagome: (screams and runs away dragging Sango with her)
Seravo: I don't wanna kill Sango with Kagome...
Lyvirie: I'll get her. (teleports in front of Kagome) Prepare to DIE.
Riuka: I want to do it! (attacks Kagome with sword)
Lyvirie: No fair!
Riuka: :-P You snooze you lose! Ha ha!
Kagome: (runs away while they're distracted)
Riuka: Dammit...get BACK here! Eclipse!
Eclipse: One Kagome-stopper coming up sir! (salutes and makes a huge wall of darkness in front of Kagome)
Seravo: (attacks Kagome from behind)
Lyvirie: (stops Seravo with her staff)
Seravo: *swirly eyes* Too much pain...
((Fyr: DVL, Axl, just pick ONE, dizzy or swirly, and stick with it! Geez!))
Lyvirie: I said I was going to kill her! (kicks Seravo)
Seravo: Ow...
Sango: I will not allow you to kill Kagome.
Lyvirie: Move it Sango. I don't want to kill YOU.
Sango: (readies for an attack)
Kagome: Be careful Sango!
Eclipse: Shut up! (turns wall of darkness into box of darkness around Kagome)
Kagome: Ahh! I can't breathe!
All: GOOD!!!
Miroku: Well that is rather rude.
Riuka: (hits Miroku on the head with her sword) Be quiet.
Miroku: *dizzy eyes* Look at all the pretty girls...
Lyvirie: *thinking* This guy is SO pathetic.
Eclipse: (lifts box of darkness with Kagome in it and drops it near the others) We can all attack it together.
Lyvirie: Seravo's knocked out.
Eclipse: So wake him up! (kicks Seravo)
Seravo: Ow! Leave me alone! I'm already in enough pain.
Eclipse: Get up, we're gonna kill Kagome now.
Sango: NO! (attacks Eclipse)
Riuka: (stops Sango)
Sango: MOVE!
Riuka: No. (knocks out Sango) NOW we can kill Kagome.
Riuka gets on one side of the box, Eclipse on another, Seravo on another, and Lyvirie on the last.
Eclipse: 3...2...1...ATTACK!!!
(all attack Kagome)
Kagome: (screams)
Miroku: (wakes up slowly and touches Lyvirie's butt)
Lyvirie: Ahh! Don't do that! (stomps on Miroku)
Riuka: Yeah really! Pervert! (stomps on Miroku)
Seravo: Can we GO now?
Riuka: Fine, fine. Impatient little brat.
Seravo: I'm not a brat and I'm not LITTLE!
Lyvirie: We'd better go before he goes on a killing spree.
Eclipse: Okay.
(all go back to normal world)
*Normal World*
Riuka: Well that was fun.
Wreck: YEAH! It was so fun! Yashy and I went for a walk! GOOD inu!
Lyvirie: WHAT?!?
Eclipse: What's your problem?
Seravo: She's obsessed with Inuyasha.
Lyvirie: *yelling at Wreck* Why do YOU get Inuyasha?
Wreck: My inu! Mine mine mine mine MINE!
Lyvirie: I want Inuyasha!
Wreck: Mine!
Lyvirie: He will NOT be yours! He will be MINE!
Wreck: MINE!
DVL: SHUT UP!!!
(all stare at DVL)
Seravo: Where the hell did you come from?
DVL: I'm here to get Wreck. C'mon Wreck, you know you're not old enough for a pet. Maybe when you're 13 or 14...
((Fyr: Pathetic. Isn't Wreck 16?))
Wreck: Aw... (releases Inuyasha)
Inuyasha: ABOUT TIME!!!
Seravo: You're not going to keep him Lyvirie. We have to take care of Suri, remember?
Lyvirie: Mmm...
Seravo: You didn't let me bring anything when I wanted so I'll do the same to you.
Lyvirie: I was going to let him go anyways. The show won't continue if I keep him.
DVL: Then I'll take him back...and get rid of Wreck.
Wreck: Meanie!!!
DVL: Or not. Wreck, OSUWARI!
Wreck: (sits)
DVL: Okay then. (takes IY back to IY)
The End
((Fyr: Owari.))
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~~~~~
DVL: Ow...I'm back. Fyr NEVER do that again or I will HURT you!!!
Fyr: :-P
DVL: Shut up.
Please review! We like reviews! Especially the crazy ones!!!
~DVL and Axl