I hear him crying... another nightmare... another monster he's been forced to face coming back to haunt him. I want to say damn my husband for doing this to his son, to me; but I can't. He cries out for me, for his father for that damnable Piccolo. For anyone he trusts with childish innocence.
"Mamma!" His voice is edged with panic, I hurry as much as I can in the darkened and down the stairs to his room.
He's sitting up, my poor baby, my poor Gohan sitting in the dark crying. I rush to his side and sit down on the bed. He climbs into my lap his tiny form clinging to me like a lifeline. How much as this six year old child seen? Too much... in my opinion far far too much. Again I try to get angry with Gokou, but I can't. It's not entirely his fault.
"Shhhh baby, I'm here.. I'm here for you Gohan. " He continues to cry and cling to me. I know now it was a nightmare. I start to sing softly.
(( Don't you know I love you more than life itself
Dont you know your my pride?
And I would not have you walking thru this world without me by your side
go to sleep my little man dont you weep my little man ))
He whimpers and clings to me a bit tighter, he's never been easy to settle down..I think to all the times he's come crying about something horrible. Everyone sees me as a cold and over bearing mother. But what no one sees is that I constantly worry if my son or husband is going to die. And no dragonballs will be there to bring them back. Its never easy to see someone you love die. Sighing softy I sing the next verse of the song.
(( I'd like to keep me with you all your life but I know I can't do that.
so I must try teaching you the wrong from right to keep the vultures from your back
go to sleep my littl eman, dont you weep my little man.
And when you dreaming you can talk to angels
so wipe the tears from your eyes
and if theres demons that try to steal your breath away
you can believe that know my spirit will be by your side ))
His sobs subside... slowly. He calms down, I sigh softly and pause to look down at him. Red eyes blink sleepily. I quietly ask him what he dreamt about, but he refuses to tell me. He always refuses. I can never get him to talk about what he dreams about; it frightens me to think he holds that all inside him. Its not healthy or normal. He's such a quiet and private child always polite, I taught him that...
(( You save me you gave me the greatest gift of all
believe me believe me there aint no mountain thats too tall
I would gladly carry your cross for you to take your pain away
what I can't carry is my love for you beyond my dying day.
So be strong my little man When I'm gone my little man
You've got to be my little man, so dont you weep my little man
Go to sleep my little man, dont you weep my little man
You've got to be my little man so dont you weep my little man ))
He sleeps finally... I cradle him in my arms. My little Gohan, facing the world with innocence and a tenatiousness that would scare any mother. It scares me, but my husband is Gokou, I come to expect this. Kissing his forehead I whisper a prayer to God that my boy grows up whole, healthy and happy.
Layin him back in his bed I watch him for a long time as he sleeps, his breath slow and steady, his eyelids flutter a bit as he dreams again. One fist clutched tightly around a stuffed animal. The fist... is so strong for a little boy... so very strong. Turning away, I close the door and make my way back up to mine and Gokous room. Slipping back into bed, I slip my arm around Gokous sleeping form.. he mumbles something and then quiets. I whisper to him "I love you" and fall into dreams of my own.
"Mamma!" His voice is edged with panic, I hurry as much as I can in the darkened and down the stairs to his room.
He's sitting up, my poor baby, my poor Gohan sitting in the dark crying. I rush to his side and sit down on the bed. He climbs into my lap his tiny form clinging to me like a lifeline. How much as this six year old child seen? Too much... in my opinion far far too much. Again I try to get angry with Gokou, but I can't. It's not entirely his fault.
"Shhhh baby, I'm here.. I'm here for you Gohan. " He continues to cry and cling to me. I know now it was a nightmare. I start to sing softly.
(( Don't you know I love you more than life itself
Dont you know your my pride?
And I would not have you walking thru this world without me by your side
go to sleep my little man dont you weep my little man ))
He whimpers and clings to me a bit tighter, he's never been easy to settle down..I think to all the times he's come crying about something horrible. Everyone sees me as a cold and over bearing mother. But what no one sees is that I constantly worry if my son or husband is going to die. And no dragonballs will be there to bring them back. Its never easy to see someone you love die. Sighing softy I sing the next verse of the song.
(( I'd like to keep me with you all your life but I know I can't do that.
so I must try teaching you the wrong from right to keep the vultures from your back
go to sleep my littl eman, dont you weep my little man.
And when you dreaming you can talk to angels
so wipe the tears from your eyes
and if theres demons that try to steal your breath away
you can believe that know my spirit will be by your side ))
His sobs subside... slowly. He calms down, I sigh softly and pause to look down at him. Red eyes blink sleepily. I quietly ask him what he dreamt about, but he refuses to tell me. He always refuses. I can never get him to talk about what he dreams about; it frightens me to think he holds that all inside him. Its not healthy or normal. He's such a quiet and private child always polite, I taught him that...
(( You save me you gave me the greatest gift of all
believe me believe me there aint no mountain thats too tall
I would gladly carry your cross for you to take your pain away
what I can't carry is my love for you beyond my dying day.
So be strong my little man When I'm gone my little man
You've got to be my little man, so dont you weep my little man
Go to sleep my little man, dont you weep my little man
You've got to be my little man so dont you weep my little man ))
He sleeps finally... I cradle him in my arms. My little Gohan, facing the world with innocence and a tenatiousness that would scare any mother. It scares me, but my husband is Gokou, I come to expect this. Kissing his forehead I whisper a prayer to God that my boy grows up whole, healthy and happy.
Layin him back in his bed I watch him for a long time as he sleeps, his breath slow and steady, his eyelids flutter a bit as he dreams again. One fist clutched tightly around a stuffed animal. The fist... is so strong for a little boy... so very strong. Turning away, I close the door and make my way back up to mine and Gokous room. Slipping back into bed, I slip my arm around Gokous sleeping form.. he mumbles something and then quiets. I whisper to him "I love you" and fall into dreams of my own.