AN: I do not own any part of the Final Fantasy IX universe except the crazy ideas I may write about for your viewing pleasure.

Review Commentaries:

Lyralamora: Surely you jest? Zidane/Freya is by far my favorite of all the pairings in Final Fantasy IX! I go nuts every time I read Practical Medicine by Myush. By the way, I reccommend that story for you if you have not yet found it.

Captain Deadpool: As usual I find your comments are unique and interesting!

darkdrow: Thank you for your compliments on my writing! I very much enjoy to hear of it and your money should be in the mail by now.

DDX Delta: You're in luck! After a long hiatus from my edits and continued writing this past summer, I have some time to work with my stories once more! Though...that's partially because I don't have a job now and am going stir crazy. -.- This story will have additional chapters!

(Story)

So, as best as he could figure out, the girl he'd had a crush on had poisoned him and decided to flippantly run off into danger. Gee, how fantastically wonderful. Zidane was ready to kick himself over the entire situation. Hell, she pulled the wool over his eyes and snuck off with Rusty to boot! Not that, that was any terrible loss considering the eyesore the man called his armor. It was amazing he hadn't died from eating with rust covered gauntlets.

Tail twitching spasmodically, Zidane crossed his arms in a tad bit of a huff. She had left and now here he was thinking about Rusty. He had it bad for this girl, that girl whose orange overalls didn't diminish the feel of her soft behind. Oh how he wished he could take a handful of it, grip it in one of their, hopefully, many excursions together.

Not that Zidane had ever noticed, but Vivi sure noticed that their pseudo-leader's tail was soothing and wagging once more like a furry pendulum.

"Tribal, pray tell why we are headed for Lindblum once more?" the voice of the only ...possibly only ...female in the group came to reach him near the front of the group. Dressed in her red coat and red hat with wings on it, one might think they were standing to a statue or a anthropomorphic love-slave. Freya couldn't count the number of times someone had come up to her or him wondering if the fur was real, where they sold it, for 80 gil could they put on a leash and lic-... The people of Treno were disgusting. Nobles who thought the world was born and made of gil and would perish the moment gil was nowhere to be found. As if the little coins with various moogles and historic characters on it like Cloud the Avenger or Sora the Dreamer, or even the difficult to find Ramza the Heretic, were the essence of life and existence.

"We lost a great deal of potions and antidotes when that Ironite attacked when we stopped with Choco near South Gate. Since Quina," Zidane took a moment to direct a glare at the strange... thing despite knowing that Qu's rarely detected emotion beyond gluttony, "decided eating the pink flying dragon was more worth our while than just killing it, and then threatened to eat Choco since most of the Ironite got away."

That had been a fiasco in and of itself, that one battle. Every now and then it felt like they were up against something special and the very air around them would change to accommodate this, but that usually ended with them getting new equipment and escaping with their lives. The Ironite Fiasco, as he might dub it centered around a certain Qu glomping something four times its' size which resulted in massive potion use till the the flying dragon crawled away as fast as its' remaining limb could take it.

Shuddering and hoping to never imagine Qu doing anything on top of something else ever again, he continued, "then there was the strange army of moogles we encountered near the Aerbs who just had to interrogate us since we might be spies from Archades." He stopped, feeling the entire group tic at the that particular memory. "I mean who believes in crossing dimensions? Isn't that for eidolons or something?"

Freya took her moment to reign in the ranting boy, "I do not believe that is our concern whether or not the moogles believe they are from this, Boo-Jerba. For all that is taken account of the moogles, they very well could be. There is more to this world than just our continent, Tribal." Even as she said this, the dragon knight could think of naught but of him and where in the world he might be.

Wandering around their group, Quina still seemed to be focused elsewhere. Vivi's curious eyes that could melt the hardest of hearts only watched the two in their auras intermingle. He didn't understand it, but grandfather Quan had always said that Vivi was a special boy, destined for great things. He self-consciously readjusted his hat and wondered if that were true.

Zidane tucked his restless hands behind his head and smiled, but groused about how weird those fluffy hands felt combing over your body for...magicks? How could he carry a magic? It didn't make any sense. Mages could tap magic or essence through the usage of different equipments which linked them to the world around them, right? How could one buy a magic and then license it? How much money could one make off such a market?

"Dragon! Dragon! Dragon is yummy-yummy snack for Quina!" shouted the Qu in its' almost tear-jerking voice. Off he/she ran towards Lindblum, mistaking the gate, for a dragon for the fifth time now. Neither Freya or Zidane envied the guards who had to clean up the sheer amount of spittle Quina launched at it every time he/she got close. Feeling a long day coming before them, they all made their way into Dragon's Gate with apologetic looks at the few people down here before making their way topside.

(Five Hours Later)

Vivi carefully had to consider his next move. Should he assault the one on the left or perhaps the one on the right? He could lay down something to take them off their guard, or he could pull some muscle and see if he forced them on the run. Feeling time tick in his head he placed down his nymph card and, if he could only grin, he saw the worried look of his opponent as a combo took two cards through combat and idly took another locked in the corner. Vivi would have several Cid the Headmaster coins tonight which was fortunate because his Cid the Pilot coins were not going to pay for their rooms tonight.

Walking away from the sobbing man, the innocent boy-mage searched for his next victim. He felt bad about it, honestly. But between Quina's eating everything out of establishments, along with Zidane's and Freya's attempts to drink themselves into sex or stupor, sometimes both, put a strain on their purse that beating monsters simply didn't cover. The cost of repairs, weapons, and new medicines was something that always needed to come into play as well and none of his companions seemed willing to do such calculations.

It did provoke a thought, how did all those beasts manage to get the gil anyway? Sure he'd seen a potion tangled into a fang's fur which was chasing him during the Hunt, but that didn't answer the question. How many mist monsters were assaulting people to get gil like that? Vivi could readjust his hat in an attempt to not think of how many people might have died for this economy to be possible.

Quina found hirself seeking a new eatery in the business section of the city. Lindblum, despite having been so close, always seemed to amaze Quina. One could see the airships in the marsh as they passed by, but it didn't change the fact that they were so much bigger up close. Quina hardly thought he/she could eat the whole thing, he/she'd have to settle for engine room, if it came down to it. Without preamble Quina shouted at a merchant woman in a stall offering her gyshal pickles, "Quina NO GUILTY! Quina NO EAT ENGINE!" Before waddling off leaving Grandma Pickle in a daze, trying to blank the thing's tongue smacking her face from her mind. Sadly, she was now scarred for the rest of her life.

In another dive bar, different from the usual but still just as low-class as could be, Zidane and Freya sat side by side passing shot glasses sampling the different beverages of the bar together. They were on their 7th pair of various alcoholic drinks by now.

"Zidane Tribal, I've come to believe that beyond the grotto lies misfortune," Freya grumbled darkly, as she had been for some time despite the merriment of their outing.

To her side, Zidane took a quick gulp of his shot and slammed it back down. "Yousa have to believe that the best ish poshible!" He was not exactly on his 7th round, having a flexible tail to grab drinks as the waitress passed without her notice. He avoided the stereotypical hiccup at the end of his sentence to avoid being thrown out and laid his head down softly on the counter, eyes watching her as she took her own shot down in response.

The air became frigid in the bar, her demeanor condescending most in the establishment. The waitress or barkeep didn't seem affected by it at all, but the other patrons looked either scared or smug. A particularly thick look lug came towards the two of them, a swagger to his step that was more than drunkenness or confidence. He looked downright determined and ready for a fight if need be.

His heavy footfalls stopped to her right, between her and Zidane. Poking the teenager in the arm with a meaty sausage he attempted to sound somewhat cool, "Beat it punk, the lady ain't interested in scum." Instead, he sounded like a walrus in heat trying to make love to a dark lord's boy-who-lived collection of action figures with some assistance by the dark lord (and maybe a couple of sycophantic followers used as a blood lubricant sacrifice). There was a lot of scraping, sliding, and it ended with a bunch of wet stuff in the face.

Zidane wiped the spittle from his cheek, uninterested in the slob who thought with the bigger of his two brains, located somewhere inside his breeches. His eyes continued staring at the woman beside him, 'oh my dear cousin, what big brea-...' his train of thought was cut off with another sharp jab of the meaty sausage. "Didn'tcha hear me ya little shit, the lady ain't interested!" Now the walrus must be climaxing because his voice thundered around the dive and stopped people in their tracks. A sea of eyes turned in a monotonous fashion towards the source of the bestiality scene, or at least that's what their ears had told them it was.

Zidane cast his eyes to look off towards the eyesore instead of the cleavage. "Ish poshible she likesh my tail diddle-bit-sh!" He roars in kind, in a terribly drunken stupor. It did not register in his mind how his slur was affecting his speech. All that registered was the red splotches filling the eyesores face, the little shakes and tremors as a pressure seemed to be building inside him, the slow movement of muscle backwards, ready to pounce and tackle the tail-waving character.

"If you wish to end up in a ditch where neither the sun or Reis herself could find you, by all means continue," came the cool and frigid voice of one particular Burmecian. She took another gulp of her shot and slammed the glass down to emphasize her point, tail swatting angrily behind her smacking the stool beside her with a steady tap of frustration.

"Look babe, I know it must be hard fer ya to find a good guy in yeh life," the eyesore lamented towards her, forgetting about the monkey-boy altogether, "but taking up monkey-boy is worse than just being a rat-face love." Should a pin drop, they could all have probably heard it. Open mouth, insert foot, shove it when it refuses to move. "I mean, I'd be willing to diddle which wiles lil' ratface doll, but we needs teh find a place with a bath so I can scrub mehself afterwards."

The man expected for one or the other, possibly both to jump at him with sharp, pointy objects and stab him in unkind places till the barkeep decided the show was over after a couple of minutes. Not that he cared for his brother anyway, blood shouldn't charge for the same grog you helped carry into the place.

The man was not expecting for two tails to grab a different ankle and pull his legs out from under him, sending his head flying into the wooden floor with a sharp crack followed by the thud of his form shaking the entire building. It remained quiet afterwards with tension until the barkeep waved them towards the door, "Get outta my bar you drunk bastards."

Zidane looked ready to tackle the barkeep, ruin two members of the same family in one day till Freya placed her elongated fingers on his shoulder. Looking up at her he sighed and ended up leaning in to her as they left the bar, two tails behind them oddly enough waving in tune.

Vivi found himself surrounded by angry card players. All of them shouting at a store owner who had just sold a rare oglop card to a man from Treno for a lesser price than what he had been offering it to them for in price. Originally, Vivi had come into the shop looking for somewhere to sell the spares he'd won off of some guy passed out in an alleyway. But when he'd seen the oglop card, he just felt a desire to be able to use it against Alleyway Jack and wipe the smug grin off the thief's face. It was because of that jerk that he still cried himself to sleep at night, lamenting the loss of his grandfather's memento.

He'd even offered the shop keeper a Ramza the Heretic and a few Madelene the Child coins, altogether being 1,040 gil in exchange for the card. The nerve of the man! He had completely ignored him for favor of a noble.

Vivi wasn't quite sure when all of the shouting had died out to leave the entire room asleep. But he placed the coins he'd offered into the man's hand and took the card, whistling a jaunty tune.

Quina rubbed hir belly as a spasm coursed through it. It had not been so long since Quina had reached out for Vivi, nearly consuming the little black mage. And yet it seemed that Quina was more content now than ever. Sure the tail-flapping couple might not believe hir since few outside the Qu could, but Quina... was with child.

Two figures stumbled down the alley, rounding their way into the selected inn for the night. The other would have already gathered in their room, making a mess which their purse could ill afford considering the troubled times. The reality of war was upon them and what lay beyond the western Aerbs could very well change their entire world.

The two figures, leaning side by side, climbed the stairs of their intended inn and descended into the darkness of their room. Quina and Vivi should have already settled in their other room, quite possibly causing enough ruckus to leave a heavy mark on their purse, which they could ill afford.

It was as Zidane was undressing that he felt, rather than saw, a hand wrap itself around the base of his tail, rubbing it gently. The hormones that gushed through his system, the heavy stain of heat in his face and the low purring all pointed to the effect of this action.

"I do enjoy your tail, Zidane Tribal," came the soft voice whispering somewhere near his ear. The cool breath which matched her frigid nature, did not match the slow twisting of her thinner tail around his thick course one. It brought only a couple of words to his drunken conscious...

"I knew it!" Then Zidane passed out on their bed for the rest of the night, not likely to remember a word of what passed, and why his old friend Freya was licking the inside of his ear with her long tongue.

(Story)

AN: November 17th, 2011: WOW! It has been a long time since I've done anything for any of my stories. I mean, seriously...holy shit. But, I've moved away from Haremization for the time being so I can focus on some of my other stories. In the meantime I have been thinking of Highschool of the Dead and a fanfic I might be interested in writing for that. More details to come.

AN2: I hope you all enjoyed the story, I know I enjoyed writing the accompanying lemon which I shall read in private quite... uhhh... vigorously. Should anyone decide to write a sequel or a lemon to this, all I want is the lemon. -!- I mean the credit!

Reviews are most welcome.

Author's Announcements:

I know hardly anyone reads my profile (which wouldn't matter since it's out of date anyway), so I have posted these following announcements in all of my stories to let you formally know that I will be attempting to write chapters for most of my stories once again. I cannot guarantee anything, but I am most willing to make the effort.

That's the important part. Here come the details (your queue to leave if you want).

Reasons Why I Haven't Been Writing:

Well…geez, put me on the spot without time for cookies or milk. I haven't been writing mostly because of the combined dedications my life has required of me. In the time since I wrote Memoirs of a Time Traveler I have done the following things, each further complicating my life as a burgeoning adult:

1. Began a polyamorous relationship.

2. Managed to get my girlfriend of five years pregnant.

3. Fought with the parents of the newest member of our 'Triad' in the Triangular relationship.

4. Finally given up the idea of trying to treat both of my girlfriends equal in public status and married my pregnant girlfriend (to avoid the evil state of Indiana's bureaucracy).

5. Had my mother-in-law move in to help us with bills.

6. Had a child whom we call Alex.

7. Managed to obtain a 35 hour job (which previously had been 20 hours since after #3 but before #4).

8. Have continued my undergraduate education throughout the entire process.

Reasons Why I Will Begin Writing Anew:

These are the reasons why I'm more optimistic about a renewed writing!

1. Resigned from my job since my boss is a douche and was probably going to fire me anyway.

2. Finals are over!

3. Looking for another job and taking care of Alex, but still plenty of free time from the additional hours (some 70 in my week) which have been freed up recently.

4. Because I hate to see 'abandoned' on my stories!

I look forward to presenting everyone with wonderful new material on old ideas. Let it be known, however, that not all of my lack of posting is from a lack of writing. I have written three chapters for various stories when my computer crashed around seven months ago. Don't blame me, blame the elves.

So, without further ado, I bid you welcome into a new age of writing by Ultimagu.