A/N This story is the result of my overactive imagination and a conversation I had with Eldhoron over the topic of elven and mortal bodily functions. I hope you enjoy this as much as I had fun writing it. Thank you Eldhoron, for helping me come up with the title.

It was nearing mid-morning, and four-year-old Estel was sitting in the gardens with his older brothers' Elladan and Elrohir having a late snack. As Estel sat there picking at his fruit, Elladan couldn't help but notice the forlorn look on his face. "What is wrong gwador?" Elladan asked when he had finished swallowing his apple.

Estel sighed and pushed his food around. "I want to learn how to go to the bathroom like one of the big people, but there is no one to teach me," he said quietly slowly looking up at his brother's face.

Elrohir nearly choked on his water. "You want to learn how to what?" Elrohir asked still recovering from choking a second ago.

"I want to learn how to go potty like the big people," Estel repeated looking at Elrohir not sure why he seemed surprised.

"You mean standing up?" Elladan asked wanting to make sure he understood his brother correctly.

Estel nodded his head slowly. "Can you show me how?"

The twins looked at Estel and then at one another uncomfortably. This was something their father was supposed to be teaching Estel, not them. Their job was to tickle him, play ball and even read to him but the potty training business was not in the job description – or so they thought. "Can you not ask father? I am sure he would love to teach you," Elrohir asked hoping he wouldn't hurt his brother's feelings.

Frowning, Estel looked up at his older brother sadly. "Ada has been too busy for me lately, and Glorfy isn't here."

When the twins heard that and saw the look on his face, they knew what they had to do. They couldn't stand to see Estel look so depressed. "Don't be sad little one, Elladan and I will teach you."

Estel's frown quickly turned into the biggest smile they had seen. "Really?"

Elrohir laughed. "Of course, we will. If you want to be a big boy and use the bathroom like one, then we will show you how."

Estel clapped his tiny hands excitedly. "When can you teach me?"

Elladan shrugged. "When do you wish to start?"

"Now! I want to learn now!" Estel said jumping to his feet pulling on his brother's hands.

The twins laughed and got to their feet and picked up the food before starting back to the house. "Okay young one, but first let us clean up, or father will not be very happy.

When the three had cleaned up the mess, they walked back to the house and took Estel to the family bathing chamber. The two were not exactly sure how they were going to show him as this was all new to them. As they entered the room, they took him to the chambers and looked at Estel.

"Okay Estel, so first thing is first. Do you have to go?"

"Yes, I have had to go since breakfast this morning," Estel said beginning to dance slightly. He had completely forgotten he had to go and now that Elladan asked he was starting to feel a little uncomfortable.

"Okay, that is good. So now comes the fun part. Learning to go like a man. See, women and men are made differently. We males are equipped to be able to urinate standing up and sitting down, whereas the females can only go sitting," Elrohir explained hoping he was not confusing his brother.

Estel seemed confused. How could they go standing up? As if he could read Estel's mind Elrohir smiled. "Here allow me to demonstrate." Elladan started chuckling as his younger brother undid the laces to his breeches and pulled them down to his knees. "Now, it is quite simple gwador, all you have to do is pull your breeches down, grab hold like so, aim it towards the chamber and go."

As Elrohir demonstrated, Estel's eyes widened in awe. He was so excited he was dancing around waiting for his turn. "Let me try! Please!"

"Okay Estel, you try. Oh, and one more thing. When you are done, make sure you shake yourself like so. It is not fun when you dribble on yourself afterward."

Elladan was trying hard not to laugh. "Well done muindor. You are quite the natural at potty training!"

Elrohir narrowed his eyes before sticking his tongue out. "Well, I didn't see you offer to teach him." Then he turned back towards Estel. "Okay, now it is your turn."

Estel clumsily undid his breeches and pulled them down. Then remembering what Elrohir told him he tried copying but as he had to go so bad, he didn't check to make sure he was aiming accurately and urinated part way in the toilet and part way on the floor. Estel was so embarrassed; tears started to fall down his cheeks.

"Estel, don't cry. You did very well for your first time. We can try again," Elrohir softly told Estel rubbing his back as Elladan wiped up the mess from the floor.

"Really? But how? I don't have to go anymore," Estel responded sniffling.

"Well, then we will just have to fix that. How much can you drink?" Elrohir grinned.

As both Elladan and his brother gave cup after cup of water to Estel, they talked about rushing waterfalls and rivers until Estel started feeling the urge to have to go once more. When Elladan noticed his brother starting to do a small jig he grinned. "Now for attempt number two and this time I think I got an idea on how to help. Wait there." Elladan ran out of the room, and a few minutes later he came back carrying a small bag.

"What is that?" Elrohir asked curiously.

"These my dear brother," he said opening the bag, "are Cheerios."

"Cheerios? How will cheerios help him aim?"

"Wait and see," Elladan said grinning like mad as he started dropping the small grains in the toilet. "Now Estel, the object of this game is to try and shoot the cheerios. Like so." And Elladan proceeded to demonstrate sinking every Cheerio in the toilet. Estel squealed with joy as he saw his brother hit the small targets. "Now it is your turn."

Estel again turning towards the toilet proceed to position himself. "Good Estel, now make sure you are aiming in the toilet not to the side." When he had made sure he was in the right position, he took aim and fired beginning to hit the cheerios dead on.

"Look! I am doing it! I am going just like you!" Estel shrieked out loud.

Both his brothers cheered their brother on patting him on the back. "Way to go Estel!"

Just then they heard someone enter. "What on earth is going on here?"

All three heads turned to see a very confused Elrond looking at them with wide eyes.

Estel wide-eyed beamed at his father. "Look at me ada; I can shoot Cheerios with my urine!"

Elrond in a complete state of shock looked at his sons for an exclamation.

"Estel wanted to learn how to pee standing up, so we showed him how," Elrohir said matter of factly.

"And you thought of showing him by "shooting" cheerios?"

"That was all Elladan's idea," Elrohir replied pointing at his brother.

Elladan shrugged. "We had to teach him somehow."

Elrond shook his head. "Whatever will you think of next?" And walked out. Outside, however, the three could hear the sound of unrestrained laughter.