Mistakes ~ Part One

A/N: This is a crack!fic idea I've been toying with for a while and just had to write. It's a HarryPotterxMerlin crossover featuring crossover pairings with a twist. Inspired by xxLewrahxx's forum, of course. Now, a few things I want to make clear. Firstly, this is before the Harry Potter series, and so, Bella and Rodolphus are only engaged and Cissy and Lucius are only dating. Don't know who got hitched first so my apologies if that is historically inaccurate of whatever. Featuring dumb!Rodolphus since he doesn't speak in the books :D Moreover, onto the Merlin side of things, in the show there are glasses and windows, but that is historically inaccurate as it was set int he middle-ages and that stuff wouldn't have been invented then, hence why I put that Arthur didn't know what that stuff was in my story. This'll be a three part fic, so keep up!

WARNING: This will contain slash. But no violence, graphic scenes and maybe a little bit of swearing later on.

Pairings: HarryPotter: Bellatrix/Rodolphus, Narcissa/Lucius, Rodolphus/Lucius (one-sided and purely crack) Merlin: Merlin/Arthur HarryPotterxMerlin: Bellatrix/Arthur

I think that's everything... Enjoy and don't forget to review x

"Rod, why are we here?" Bella asked her fiancé, annoyance lacing her words. Rodolphus blinked at her, eyes glazed over in adoration as he'd previously been basking in her beauty, like he always did. Untwining his hand from hers, he opened the pouch at his hip and retrieved his pad and brightly coloured crayons. You see, the thing about Rodolphus was that he was dumb. And before you ask, yes, he was thick but that's beside the point. What I mean is Rodolphus couldn't speak. Not since that incident when he walked in on his mother and the muggle milkman, but that's a story for another day…

"Becuz I fort you'd like the marcet Bela, luv". He wrote in luminous orange on the pad as a reply. Rolling her eyes at the misspellings, Bella muttered under her breath,

"Yeah, right…" He'd hauled her to some celebration of some sort in the middle of Diagon Alley. Valentine's day or something. It was brimmed to the edges with people, all of them chatting and laughing to the point where Bella had a headache. Now, she was all for parties, but she liked to chose the guests, not just any mongrel from the street. Confetti poured down on her and she snapped, dragging her fiancé down the street and into the small café at the end.

Dropping down in a seat next to her sister, she greeted Cissy with a huff of irritation. The blonde tore her loved-up gaze from her current boyfriend, the Malfoy boy, and frowned at her older sister. Looking between Bellatrix and Rodolphus, she sighed. They were so broken at the moment; it was tragic. You could literally hear the light bulb flash into life as the human Barbie got a brainwave – something that didn't happen to often. She perked up, grinning to herself and shrieked in her childish voice,

"Oh, hi Bells! I go get you two a drink!" Lucius looked like someone had just killed a puppy right in front of him at the thought of parting from Cissy. She winked at him and wandered off to order two butterbeers – even if Bella would want a firewhisky – both with a dose of love-potion to spice things up.

She paid and dropped them down in front of the Rodolphus and his fiancée. Bella took once glance at the contents and turned her nose up at them while Rodolphus downed his in one. It took a moment, but suddenly his mind was blow away with a wave of white as the potion took a hold. Blinking slightly, he tried to get his mind under control only to find himself brainwashed into thinking himself in undying love with the first person he saw.

Lucius Malfoy.

Slumping forward in his seat, Rodolphus ogled the blonde haired man with pure lust, seeing lovehearts. Cissy frowned, taking time to click on what had just happened while Bella just scoffed, grabbed her drink and walked out.

………………………

"Come on, Merlin! You're so slow!" Arthur chortled, sighing as he watched his hopeless manservant trip over his own feet – again – and send all the prince's hunting gear flying effortlessly. Rolling his eyes, annoyance flowed through him, "I'll do it myself then!" he murmured, holding his hand out so Merlin could get back to his feet. God knows what would happen if he was left to do it on his own.

Merlin merely smiled idiotically as he stumbled upright. Just as Arthur rolled his eyes again, Merlin noticed something behind the obnoxious prince. Gasping, Merlin pointed at a furry creature in the tree,

"That squirrel is about to attack! Quick, Arthur! Get out the way! It's my destiny to protect you!" Grabbing the prince by the shoulder, Merlin shoved him sideways. The little grey squirrel watched idly, frozen in surprise. The magic flowed through Merlin as he created an escape for Arthur.

His eyes burned amber as a rip in the fabric of reality cracked the air in front of the, glowing a blinding white as it expanded and engulfed the two boys. The squirrel dropped the nut it was holding as it watched the boys disappear through the bright light. The portal closed behind them.

Landing with a thud, Arthur cursed and rubbed his bruised tailbone. Blinking at the suddenly blinding light, he stared up at a sapphire sky, a great blazing orb high in the sky. Funny, the sun had only just rose back in the wood. Speaking of which, where did the trees go.

Standing up, Arthur frowned at the towering buildings surrounding him. The brickwork was perfect, the same as the floor. How come it was so smooth? And there were things in the holes of the walls. They were clear and thin, like invisible doors… Wandering out from the shadows of the alley, Arthur officially had a heart attack.

There were people – hundreds of people – in cloths so bright and stitching free of flaws, it was impossible. They were carrying wooden sticks with sparks shooting out the end. Petals were falling from the sky and music like thunder was pounding from somewhere. There were more buildings, with more of those holey invisible things; only these looked like paintings as there were cloths, animals and the most bizarre possessions in them. Only…the things were moving. How was this possible?

He grimaced as the crowd enclosed around him, throwing him about and eyeing his armour with suspicion. Staring back at them, Arthur was lost for words. Some had hair is such absurd colours, it must be fake. There was ink on their faces – especially around their eyes – and some were carrying birds in cages. He couldn't tell who was male and who was female. What were those things on their eyes with the metal frames and big holes in the middle? Didn't Gaius wear some of them?

Bellatrix found herself standing outside the café, looking up at the sky and wondered what an earth she was doing with her Saturdays. She then found herself sipping from the drink in her hands, completely forgetting about the potion she knew it contained. Maybe she'd had too much sun… Her mind bleached with a blinding white and her eyes widening and her free will went out the window.

The first person she saw was some fool wandered out a crowd, looking perfectly terrified, and dressed like he'd just come from a fancy dress party with his heavy chainmail, armour and a pair of realistic looking swords on his leather belt. A look of awe passed over her face and she dropped her drink, running over to the stranger and squealing like a fangirl of some sort.

Cissy came out of the café after her sister only to see Bella brutally attack some poor fellow dressed from head to toe in metal. She groped him and kissed almost every inch of him she could reach. He screamed in shock, cowering his face and trying to battle against her. Narcissa froze, her jaw falling to the floor and shock flooding over him. What was Bella doing?

"Back! Back wench! Get off me!" Arthur cried, trying and failing to sound controlling and manly in all his princehood. He could only cover his face while she basically violated him. She grinned, staring down at his enchanting emerald eyes, framed by golden locks of hair. With a giggle, she apparated them both away, leaving all onlookers – including her sister, Malfoy and her fiancé who was trying to get a feel of Malfoy's bum – in state of shock.

…………………………

After falling to the ground from thin air without warning for a second time, Arthur decided his backside would hurt in the morning. Scrambling away from the peculiar woman who'd kidnapped him, Arthur unsheathed his sword and pointed it accusingly at her while she looked at him with deep eyes, shadowed with false lust.

"You're a witch!" Arthur accused and she giggled, pulling out her slender black wand,

"Well duh, silly!" She answered, voice getting higher and higher with every word. The prince's eyes widened, his sword shaking,

"Sorcerer!" He shrieked, looking around as if he expected to find the guards of Camelot would miraculously appear, "Sorcerer! Magic is forbidden!" She raised her eyebrow, giggling like a drunken fool,

"I love a man with a sense of humour!" She blurted out. He stared at her, eyes narrowing, causing her to cock her head to the side, "You're being serious? Sorry, honey, but what year are you from? There's a whole magical community. The magic of ministry ring any bells? No… Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but one in four people have some form of magical blood, sweetie. Now, enough chatting".

That was when she tackled him, sending his blade across the room while she planted several passionate kisses on his face. He cried in shock when she gave him a rather vicious lovebite.

WARNING: No squirrels were harmed in the making of this story.