Confessions
Have you
ever been in a relationship where you don't know where you stand
anymore with the other person? I'm in that situation now. His eyes
have grown distant and cold since he heard that his brother was
nearby. We are best friends but I can't understand why he's
become what he's become. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to an
ice block when we speak. I even get cold chills standing near him.
I
find myself worried about my other friend wondering exactly how she's
talking this 180 degree change in him. He's even frostier to her
than he is to me. When she's hurt and crying he rubs salt into the
open wounds as it were and then slams her down into the ground. I
can't stand this much more. He's breaking away I can see that. He
even tries his best to make us hate him with everything that we
have.
So here's my confession...
I can't hate him no matter
what he says or does. I can only hurt because of what he has done to
her and myself. I've tried believe me to hate him, but being me it
never works out right. Let's say I'm a glutton for punishment.
I'll keep going back to try and help him see that I'm here for
him, and I always will be.
He is my brother and she my sister, but
in truth I can only be sad because of them. They are tearing each
other to pieces and before to long they won't be able to put
themselves back together anymore. So I've finally decided to end
it. I can't stay like this anymore watching them go at each other
him tearing her to shreds bit by bit.
If when we meet for the
confrontation and we fight; I will not hold anything back. Not
because he has it coming but just to let him know despite everything
that had been done and the things that can't be undone, that I'm
here and always will be here. He could very well put me six feet
under and I wouldn't damn him for doing so as long as he remembers
I'm his friend.
I've often been asked why it is that I take
the crap that he throws at me. I look them strait in the eyes and say
because he is my best friend. Then I know what they say next before
they even say it. A true best friend wouldn't cause this much pain.
My answer to that simply like before is a true friend knows a persons
faults and embraces them knowing that despite those bad or good
quarks that is what exactly makes that person, that person. So I tell
them he is himself and I would not wish for him any other way simply
because he wouldn't be my best friend.
As for the matter of
her, she is strong on her own and therefore will find her own way in
the world with or without him, though I'd rather it be with him,
but its their choice in the matter and I can't make it for them
anymore. I'll keep being their friends even though he's fighting
her and myself at the same time trying to deny what he really knows
about us, his friends.
That is my confession.
