Hi everyone! This is my first Divergent fanfiction. I just finished Allegiant yesterday, and the ending made me feel happy that everyone found their peace, but way sadder because Tris and Tobias didn't get their happy ending. So I couldn't help write this. Hope you like it :)

Please read and review.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent series.

Home

The fever burns through my body. I try my hardest not to show any sign of pain as the pain spreads everywhere, my entire system throbbing with a synchronized ache. Even as I squint at the ceiling, beads of sweat collected on my forehead roll down my face like tears.

"It's not working, is it?" Christina bends over me, her face pinched with concern. "You're still hurting."

"It must be the age." I smile weakly. "And I'm fine."

"Sure you are," she says, rolling her eyes a little, "Four."

I can't help laugh at that; it has been so many years since someone called me by my nickname. And this time, I know Christina does it to remind me of my times of strength.

"What can I do? Should I ask Caleb for something stronger?" I stare at Christina's brown eyes, wide with worry. Her face is lined by wrinkles, brought out both by her age and everything she has been through; her hair is salt and pepper, but more silver than dark.

"No," I reply, shaking my head. Even that movement makes my body hurt in resonance. "I don't think anything will work, and besides, it's been too long, Christina."

Her lower lip wobbles as tears fill her eyes, but I can hear the truth of my words. It has been a decade since I lost my mother. I remember that day well, when I held her hand as she lay in her bed, gasping out her limited breaths, her strong frame weakened by age, but her eyes still holding the same fire. She had smiled at me one last time, and whispered my name before she stilled forever. It hurt a lot, but at least my mother led a happy life in her later half, and died in peace. The thought was consoling in my grief. At least there was someone I had not failed completely.

And it has been years and years, decades and decades, since I lost so many of my friends. The initiates I was training, and the Dauntless-born ones — Will, Lynn, Marlene. Uriah. My best friend's brother, my friend. And her. My chest throbs as I think of her, and it has nothing to do with the illness. So many years... Tris.

"You should rest," I tell Christina. "Stop worrying for a bit. It won't help your own health. Get some sleep for heaven's sake, girl!"

She smiles sadly. "It's you who's dying slowly, and it's me you are concerned about." A sigh escapes her lips. "I am so glad we have been there for each other all these years. I love you, Tobias."

Both of us know that this sentence has no romantic undertone; it's purely a love you see between siblings, between best friends, between two people who are like little sticks, trying to bridge the enormous gaps the love of their life has left in each other's hearts.

"I love you too." I smile. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." She nods. "I'll be in the next room, if you need something." She steps closer, wiping the sweat off my forehead with a cool, callused hand, and presses her lips to my forehead. Then, still smiling that sad smile which does not befit her at all, but which has adorned her face far too many times, she walks out, shutting the door softly behind her, and I am left alone.

I have nothing to do except stare at the ceiling as I wait for sleep to reach me. I have been suffering from this illness for the last four days, and my condition has been getting only worse. Caleb has set me up on some analgesics, but they don't seem to be working. I don't want anything more, because personally, I know this is going to end, and soon.

The clock ticks away as I tear my gaze from the ceiling towards the window. On the desk by the sill there is the piece made of blue glass, a last memory of my mother and all that we have been through. Beyond, the sky is a clear, dark blue, with stars twinkling as little specks of light. As I stare, I can't help think of Tris. I am glad that Christina stopped me from taking the memory serum that day, years ago. I have understood what I couldn't then — I never want to forget Tris, her blond hair, small figure which was so unusually full of determination and strength, beautiful. Her memories, each of which stung me worse than anything immediately after her death, are now treasures, the pain now a bearable undertone, each more precious than all the wealth in the world. To my mother's disappointment, I never fell in love with anyone else, or even close. I never could have, never will. It was always her, right from that moment she first jumped, and took my hand.

I never wanted to leave you. That is what she told Caleb to tell me, and I understand. But that does not mean that it makes the pain any less. I had been afraid that we may not live to see another day, all those times we faced the guns and the attacks and imprisonments, but this is not something I was ever ready for. For her to die, so young and beautiful, and for me to outlive her by decades. The biggest fear in my fear landscape has probably changed, or disintegrated, because it has become a reality.

A vial rests on my bedside table, a concoction for dreamless sleep which I had first found with the Amity. I take it every night before sleep, to avoid the nightmares which I am afraid might come, and also any dreams of her, because the pain of separation when I wake will be too much. But as I push my head deeper into the pillows, trying to ignore the way my body just seems to be burning up, I make no attempts to get it. I don't quite know why, but tonight, I invite sleep to come naturally for the first time in many years. It doesn't come easily, and my discomfort grows, but I pinch my eyes shut and wait.

When I sleep, I dream. I am back in Millennium Park, sitting on the intersection of the two metal bars as I had ages back. But this time, there is no backpack, no luggage.

But beside me, there she is — Tris. In the glory of youth, her feet dangling, the tattoo of three birds, ravens, on her collarbone. Her hair reaches up to her shoulder, and her eyes glitter with mirth. Her lips are set in a wide smile. And all of a sudden I want to do everything I wanted with her, but never got the time to, but I can't. I just sit still, feeling my jaw go slack, staring at her.

"I didn't know that I acquired the power to make you speechless," she teases, and her eyes sparkle.

"You are here," is all I can manage. What a stupid thing to say, Tobias.

"Yes." She smiles even wider. "Is that not what you wanted?"

And suddenly, I lose all control. No time for a countdown even, this time. Without even realizing, I find my lips on hers, my hands caressing her hair. For a couple of moments I'm lost, lost in this delightful feeling that I have almost forgotten. The smell of sweet apples and something that's just her, envelope me. She feels like safety. She feels like home.

But then I pull back. "I — I am so old..."

"Are you?" she queries, laughing at some private joke. "All I can see is the most handsome man I have ever seen."

Stunned, I look down. There is no way to see my face, but my figure tells me — it's lean and taut, something which age seized despite lots of working out — this is my body when I was young. When Tris was with me. All the pain, all the burning and the stiffness that age and illness brought are gone as well.

"Well?" she asks, laughing. I know I must be wide-eyed and red-faced; I feel just as shocked. This is too good to be true. But is it? At the moment, I decide I don't care.

"I think I am going to let go of my wisdom now," I warn her.

"I like it when you do," Tris whispers conspiratorially. And then we are joined again, our lips fighting, craving. Her hands slip under my shirt and explore my torso, sending pleasant shivers all over me. I leave her lips to let my own trail down her neck and lower.

"I. Missed. You. So. Much," I tell her between each kiss. "It's. Been. Too. Long."

Her hands caress my hair, which feels longer now, longer than the Abnegation short that I have kept it all this time.

"We are together now," she promises, and it sounds so sweet.

"Alone. Like we always wanted," I murmur against her skin. But we never really got to be.

"Yes." Her whisper is something between a sigh and a hiss, and she pulls my shirt off. I don't resist.

But then I pull back. As much as I want to stop thinking, to lose myself like this, I need an answer. I don't want to think that I will wake up alone again, old and crippled with misery. I want this to be real. So I ask away.

"Is this real? Am I — are you going to disappear again?"

She looks at me for a long moment, and I stop breathing.

"No," she says quietly.

"No, this isn't real, or no, you won't disappear?"

"No, I won't disappear." The smile that tugs at her lips is small and wary, almost as if she is divulging some terrifying secret, and is afraid of me exploding. "Your time is up, Tobias."

I sit still for a moment, processing what she said. This means... it means that I am dead. And even as I think it, I feel as if a thread holding me back, binding me, which I had not even noticed existed, has snapped.

"So, I am dead?" I ask. "It's all...over?"

Tris nods, still tentative. "Are you —" she trails off, appearing to be at a loss for words.

Finally. That is all I can think. Finally.

My lips twitch up in a face-splitting grin.

"I am with you. We are together," I reply to her curious gaze. And this time, you are not running away anywhere. She is mine. I am hers. We are together. Finally. And we won't be broken apart again.

"I never really managed to tell you how much I love you," I murmur into her ear, gently kissing the lobe.

"We have all the time we need, now," Tris promises.

I pull her closer to me so that our foreheads touch, and trace her face with my fingers, feeling a relief and joy so profound as I had never felt. She leans into my touch, staring deep into my eyes and tousling my hair, smiling all the time. And she says those words which calm me, soothe me and I feel all my troubles, all the grief, every negative trait peeling away, leaving me whole.

"Welcome home, Tobias," she whispers.

And I know I am. Because I am with her.

So how was it? Tell me :)