Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Naruto is the Property of Masashi Kisimoto

Author's Note: I've decided to gather all the plot bunnies that keep appearing in my head and release their horrors upon the world.

So here's a collection of story ideas from me.

All of these are adoptable, just let me know and I'll share any info on them I have. I reserve the right to continue any of them, but I probably will not.

To kick things off, here's a humorous short story.

His most Devastating Technique

It was the preliminaries of the chunin exams. The first match had just ended, pairing up Uchiha Sasuke against Yoroi Akado. Unlike what some might think, the pairings are indeed random.

If they were not random, they could be used to make sure only the strongest move on, or that the host village's ninja all receive the best odds. This time though, the host was the Village Hidden in the Leaves, and everything was completely fair.

So it came to be that by totally random chance that the next match was decided.

Uzumaki Naruto VS Hyuga Hinata

The two of them made their way down to the arena. Naruto was excited to be able to fight so soon, but was uneasy about fighting Hinata.

'She looks really red. I wonder if she's sick? She shouldn't be here then.'

Indeed, the Hyuga heiress was quite red, but not from illness.

'I have to fight Naruto? I don't want to hurt him, but my gentle fist would close his chakra points, so I'd have to…touch him…'

At that point Hinata's thoughts trailed off as her cheeks developed a red tint.

'What if tries to counter my attacks by grappling and accidentally grabs me?'

Hinata's face grew redder as she imagined herself in a grappling match with Naruto and what could happen as a result. She even giggled a little. Yes, she would not mind that at all.

'What if I close down too many of his chakra points? He'd be completely defenceless and…at my mercy.'

Hinata was now imagining what she could do with a unresponsive Naruto, completely red and lost to the world.

Naruto however had been paying close attention to Hinata's slowly changing appearance. Where at first she had looked nervous and was shaking, she was now giggling, blushing a bright red and otherwise still, standing in the basic stance of the gentle fist, not that Naruto would recognize it.

'Where have I seen girls look like this before? It seems familiar.'

Naruto was not completely oblivious to the fairer sex like most would think. Although the exact means as to which he developed his infamous sexy technique are known only to him.

'I know! I've got her now!'

"Alright Hinata, you better be ready cause I know your weakness now!"

Hinata was too lost in her daydream to acknowledge Naruto's declaration, but it did alarm her team-mates and sensei, who decided to pay closer attention to the match.

The proctor, Gekko Hayate took that moment to start the match.

"Whenever you two are ready, begin!"

He then jumped away to give the competitors room to fight. Hinata, brought out of her fantasy locked eyes on Naruto and activated her byakugan. Naruto took that time to strike and called out the name of technique that would defeat Hinata with ease.

"Yaoi Fanservice Technique!"

In an instant a cloud of smoke appeared, covering the arena, and dissipated just as quickly. It revealed several copies of not only Naruto, but apparently Sasuke, Neji, and surprising, Haku as well.

These were all shadow clones of course. Naruto had some transformed into Sasuke since girls all liked him, Haku he felt was even prettier then Sakura, and Neji seemed to resemble him. Naruto had no idea of his relation to Hinata.

That was not the strangest thing, by far. What was is that all of the shadow clones appeared six years older then their real counterparts, making them look like men rather then boys. Even worse, was like when Naruto uses the sexy technique, all of the clones were naked, save a wisp of smoke to protect their modesty.

The reactions from those present was mixed. Most of the women had turned completely red, although the older kunoichi were better off due to their superior control.

Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino were out cold, and would not awaken for some time.

The males in the audience turned away in disgust, or shame in Neji's case. He really did need to get a tan.

Oddly, the jonin for the team from sound seemed to look quite pleased by the development.

Hinata herself was actually in good shape. If anything, she seemed excited by her current situation.

Unfortunately she would not last long, as Naruto was now ready to go on the offensive.

"Alright men, you know what to do!" Shouted Naruto.

With the order given the shadow clones went into action, unleashing their devastating technique…on each other.

Needless to say what that encompassed is too horrifying to ever be repeated. Poor Hinata, her byakugan active saw every bit of it. She stood no chance, and collapsed in a sweaty heap despite having hardly moved.

Up in the audience, the men had disappeared to the bathrooms in disgust, and one in pleasure, the remaining women now unconscious as well. Only the Hokage remained, his years of experience steeling his will, or maybe it was just from being around Orochimaru so much.

With his opponent unconscious, Hayate declared Naruto the winner. Excited from his win, Naruto dispelled his shadow clones, and immediately regretted it.

What Naruto did not know was that when a shadow clone is dispelled, it's memories are transferred to it's creator. Thus Naruto gained the memories of his clones performing their devastating attack.

Naruto turned completely white, then fainted. From that day on he knew that the power of yaoi was something to be used carefully, and never for evil.

Author's Note: I was originally planning on using this idea in a future fic, but it might be some time before I write it, so I hope somebody got a good laugh out of it.

Also, we need more perverted Hinata fics. Maybe one where she's Jiraiya's apprentice and Naruto is Tsunade's.