Egobang college A/U
I was nervous. This, of course, was normal. It was my first day in a college in a completely new town, but, this was less nerves and more of something else. Fear, perhaps? Whatever this was, I didn't like it, not at all. I was used to weird things happening to me, though. This was nothing special. Not at the time. I entered the classroom with a flood of other students, they reminded me of a river. I amused myself with the idea as I searched for a seat near the front. Many other students had the same idea, all the seats in front and back were taken. I settled in a seat in the middle in the room, looking at the door, expectant of the professor. This wasn't my first year of college, I attended in New Jersey before, but California was so much different. "You know, the professor is an ass anyways." The boy next to me whispered. He was about my height, his hair was dark brown with a prominent blonde streak. His eyes were kindly, yet he seemed to have a 'bad boy' look to him. "I hope not," I said with a small sigh. My panic started to lift, the boy seemed to melt it away. Okay, let me set something straight. I have always considered myself bi-curious, I like girls just fine, but they leave something to be desired. I wondered if a man could fill the space that women left behind. I could never admit to these feelings, so I've never experimented. "Hey, you're the new kid. Right?" "Yeah," "Well, I'm Arin. I can be your guide to Hell." Arin took a glance around the room, suggesting it to be 'Hell'. "I'm Dan," I said as I ran a hand through my messy hair. Most people call my hair a jew-fro, I completely agree with them. I couldn't place why, but this boy seemed special. Okay, I admit, I'm a teacher's pet, I can't help it. This 'bad boy' seemed to be my only escape from the inevitably boring and meaningless life. He pulled a notebook from his bag, I glanced over his shoulder. He certainly wasn't using it for class notes. Maybe he drew, he didn't seem the writing type, he must do something. I was obsessing over this boy that I just met. He was just so amazing, the way his hair rested just above his shoulders, the way sunlight glinted off of his warm eyes. I would call him perfect, but, he wasn't. He was imperfectly perfect. I know that makes absolutely no sense, yet it was true. He was so amazing because I thought he could break my life goal of perfection. He was wonderful. He had opened the notebook and I understood. He drew, and from the looks of it, he could animate. He was all that and then some. Arin was some sort of guide through the tangled jungles of my mind, he seemed to mend my broken pieces. "You're creeping me out," I forgot that I was looking at him, I really should have found something else to stare at. Fuck, I already ruined my chances. He will never understand my feelings, of course he's straight. "Sorry," I laughed, trying not to make it sound too forced or strained. I failed. "Meet me after school," Arin wrote something on the corner of a page and ripped it out. I took it. "Arin Hanson, dorm room 142." I stared in amazement. I scared the guy and he gives me his dorm number? He really was something, I had to admit. The professor walked in, going almost entirely unnoticed by me. The class was boring, I never ignored class before. I took every opportunity to glance at Arin or his drawings. He was good, it was an undoubtedly cartoon-ish style, yet it was strangely pleasing. "Psst." I heard from besides me. I turned to look at the source of the voice. "Do you know what the hell he's talking about?" Arin whispered. I was slightly put off by the fact that I didn't know what the professor was talking about. Actually, I didn't even know his name. Fuck, what class was this even? "Nope," I answered as nonchalantly as possible, which was quite difficult considering I was freaking out over something small to most people. I was panicking, I knew that. I have always been a nervous, strung out person. I hated my panicking, I hated my OCD, I hated me. Arin. Arin could save me. His imperfection could save me. His love could save me. That's all I've ever wanted: to be loved. Don't get me wrong, I have wonderful and supportive family, but nobody desired to be in a relationship. I've had my fair share of one night stands. My looks get women, my personality loses them. Okay, I am too sensitive. I know that to be a true fact. So what? I knew it was going to be a long day. Every class that I didn't have with Arin would be my personal Hell, I knew that for certain. I was correct.
I walked to the dorm room. "142," I said, checking to see if the number on the paper matched the one printed on the door. Yes. "This is it," I whispered to myself. What did I expect? Arin didn't invite me for anything other than visiting, right? I pounded on the door as loudly as I could manage with my trembling hands. "Come in," if anything was worse than being at Arin's dorm, it was having to invite myself in. I opened the door with much difficulty. I felt weak, my hands were shaking and my breathing shallow. "You're freaking out," I thought. I saw Arin, I thought my heart might stop right there. "Oh, hey Dan." He said, he sounded surprised, almost as though he didn't expect me. "Hey Arin," I tried to sound as calm as possible, which probably looked very strange, jerky and unnatural. Actually, I know that all of those things were true. I can't help it, I'm just a naturally nervous person. His dorm was absolutely trashed, I didn't know if I could handle it much longer. "The first step," I thought. "Is to endure, to accept." I couldn't remember who said that, maybe I just made it up. Both are equally likely. "Is there anything you wanted to talk about?" I laughed and ran a hand through my hair: one of my many nervous habits. "Well... Umm.." Arin turned bright red. What the hell was going through his mind? "Yes?" I was attempting to hide the fact that I was dying inside, and I was probably failing miserably. "You were acting kind of weird in class, so I was wondering if... Well... If you were interested in other guys." Was it really that obvious? Was I really that bad at hiding my emotions or does Arin just have a sharp eye? Okay, maybe I was terrible at concealing my true feelings. So what? "Because, if you are," Arin looked as though he was getting more confident, which was a good thing, considering that I wouldn't anytime soon. I didn't have the capacity for words. I just stood there dumbfounded. "I think you're a nice guy and you are very... Well... Umm... I want to say sexy, but that's kind of rude since we just met." Arin was stuttering, he seemed unable to word his feelings. "Do you want to go somewhere? Like, on a date?" I was nervous, I should have been excited, right? I wanted Arin so badly earlier, and he was asking me to go on a date. A date! "Uh... Yeah, yeah, I would like that." I hoped I seemed enthusiastic, as to not hurt Arin. Arin's face brightened up, yet there was still a lingering tone of worry evident on his expression. "Where do you want to go?" "Wait, now?" "Of course," That was too weird of a day, I really wouldn't be surprised if I ended up in Wonderland by midnight. That was just as likely as what was happening with Arin. "I don't know, isn't there a park nearby?" I asked. "Yeah,"