Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds... Please don't rub it in. I'm still trying to get over it... *sob*
Enjoy Please! :D
Warning:Probably contains typos
Warning 2: Be prepared... It should be rated A for Adorable
Warning 3: Not going to be super long ^^
Aaron Hotchner would never admit it, but sometimes he had nightmares. There would be nights when he couldn't sleep even a couple of minutes in peace.
He would close his eyes and see victims of Unsubs he had helped capture... He'd never see the people he saved, only the people he hadn't. His unconscious mind never supplied his dreams with successes, only failures.
One too many times he'd been asked why he hadn't gotten there sooner. Why hadn't he tried harder? Why hadn't he saved him? Why hadn't he saved her? Wasn't it his job to save them? Why couldn't he do his job? Didn't he care?
He knew these people were just upset and wanted someone to blame, but still their angry words tore through him. They haunted his dreams and ate at his soul.
Of course he cared. He always tried his hardest and did his best to catch whatever sick bastard he was sent after. He would work straight through cases if he could. He wouldn't rest until the Unsub was off of the streets.
The sad reality of his job is this: he can't save them all. No matter how hard he tried he would always fail someone. He would always be too late.
He knew that it was an unfortunate yet unchanging fact. He would never be able to protect everyone that needs his protection, and although he dealt with it most of the time, there would be some nights where his guilt would just tear at him.
It was after he got divorced that the nightmares really began to bother him. Haley had suggested that he keep a journal of happy memories on his nightstand that he could read when it got bad. It worked for a time, but soon the words were not enough. He could read them and he'd recognize them, but it began to feel like he was reading a simple story. The memories he read weren't vivid enough to chase away the terrors of his dreams.
It was Gideon who suggested he use pictures.
He went through tons of images with Haley until they finally narrowed it down to three, which he has since switched out. He changes the pictures on his nightstand when a happier memory is photographed or if he comes across an older one that he likes.
He keeps three pictures on his nightstand at all times. The current pictures haven't changed since Haley's death.
The smallest one is the also the oldest one. It shows Aaron, Haley, and Jack Hotchner in their last family portrait. It was actually taken just before they got a divorce. Aaron couldn't have guessed that he'd be divorced and lonely in just a few short weeks. But the picture always made him feel warm, even if afterwards he felt crushed.
It seemed like only yesterday he had seen his son jump into Haley's arms after taking pictures to send around to Haley's family, after all Aaron had no one himself. They had been happy. It wasn't even to bad during or after the divorce. They were still a family; they still had each other.
Another picture he'd put on his nightstand was one of his son. They had gone to the beach. It was warm and sunny. He still remembered the way the blue of the water made his wife and his son's eyes seem all the bluer. In the picture Jack was laughing and reaching for the picture-taker: Aaron. He had taken the picture because it was the first time that Jack had said: 'Daddy'.
Aaron couldn't have been happier. He always heard 'Momma' or 'Mommy', never 'Daddy'. So when he heard it, and saw his son's giggling figure reaching for him, he snapped a picture. This picture could always chase away the nightmares because he knew his son was safe; his son was a success.
And the last picture... It was his newest picture; one that he hadn't known had been taken. He still didn't know who snapped it, but he thanked them for it everytime he looked at it.
Some people may not look at it as something to remember. The night it was taken had been rough, scary even. Aaron had been scared. He had been so worried that he couldn't sleep; he couldn't eat; all he could do was work.
Spencer had been kidnapped by a man with multiple personalities. He hooked the genius on drugs and hurt him, and he recorded it all live for the BAU team to watch, helpless to the doctor's pain. Every strike to the young man's face, every harsh word, every injection; Aaron felt them all. And when he thought the genius had died... There was nothing that could describe the pain that he felt.
The world tilted. Nothing made sense to him; all he could think about was never seeing Spencer again and it sliced right through him. How could there not be a Spencer Reid in the world? How could that even be possible? He didn't even think his wife would be able to help him through this one.
But then he saw him revived.
Everything was right again. The world was upright; he could breathe. His drive to rescue his youngest teammate increased tenfold.
When the team found that shed and heard the gunshot and saw their genius alive... Hotch had never felt such relief in his life. When Spencer grabbed him in a hug, safe, Aaron was so happy he could barely stand it.
That was the third picture on his nightstand: someone had caught the reunion on camera. Spencer was pale, bruised, and shakey; it was dark and the trees surrounding them were ominous, but Spencer was safe in Aaron's arms.
The SSA hadn't realized it at the time, but now he knew that Spencer belonged in his arms. He wanted the genius to always be there, safe and secure.
This picture, next to his son, could always help him sleep. It reminded him of the one time that he hadn't been too late.
SasunaruTLA: There you go! :D not very long as I warned! Sorry!
But hey! I need your help!
Please read the following:
I want to begin constructing my first chapter fic in this series! I have three ideas for long fics but I can't pick which one to do first! This is where you come in! :D
I'll give you guys an idea of each one and you tell me which one you want first!
Check out the poll that I plan on making! And answer on there as well as reviewing this!
Idea 1. I was watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre with my little sister... and I was really inspired to write a series fic for Hotch and Reid! The victim will be Reid and the Unsub is a crazy who I've created based on Leatherface kind of! Reid WILL NOT die don't worry!
Idea 2. I was listening to a song from the littler mermain broadway and it's called if only! I plan to have Hotch kidnapped by some crazy woman I think. in a nutshell he gets amnesia and forgets EVERYTHING about his relationship with Reid! Sad face!
Idea 3. Where Hotch and Reid are kidnapped together and tortured via video which the team gets to watch live! Our favorite profilers are being targeted for being in an inappropriate relationship! This is how I was going to reveal to the team that they are a couple!
All of these will be used as fics for this series! But I'm asking which one you want first!
I have more details for each one! They aren't as badly thought out as they seem right now! I promise!
And one idea three! It's not the ONLY way I've thought of to tell the team of their relationship; it's just ONE way! :D
Please let me know! And if you need some more details about them before you can decide then just ask!
REVIEW and HELP ME OUT!
Please! ^^