A/N: This is very much an experiment on my part. Also, I wanted to give Harmony a bit of not so bittersweet happiness for a moment.

Harmony watched in impotent rage as the digital red numbers on the clock kept on ticking—the clock that she had gotten him so that he wouldn't miss his stupid soap operas. Sure, a vampire knew when the sun went down and when it came up, but narrowing down the hour was tricky. It now read eleven fifty-three. Only seven minutes until the day was officially over.

Her day.

Her birthday.

And Spike had not gotten her a damn thing. No "happy birthday," no presents. Nothing. She had sincerely hoped that he had something planned, even if it was at the last minute. Take her out, maybe? But it was clear that he was going to do nothing of the sort.

"Damn it, Spike! I can't believe you didn't get me anything!" Harmony screeched at a lax Spike, lounging about in his ratty comfy chair.

"Oh, right." He looked pensive for half a second before looking annoyed. "Really, Harm. What did you expect? Cake? Oodles of prezzies?"

"Something. Anything. Not even a 'Happy Birthday Harm' this morning. Breakfast—dinner...I waited all day, and still nothing. I was so certain we'd go somewhere or…But you're just happy to sit there, aren't you?"

Spike tilted his head in thought, and sighed.

"Actually, no. I'm outta smokes. Probably gonna go get in a tussle and stretch for a bit. A growing boy like me needs a rough and tumble every once in awhile," he said sarcastically, getting up and walking towards the back of the crypt to get his duster.

Harmony grit her teeth, fists clenched as she watched him in stony silence.

"Later, Harm," he said lazily as he shrugged his duster on, opening his crypt door. Harm's eyes widened furiously, and she followed behind him. There was murder in her eyes.

On her way out the door, she grabbed one of Spike's wine bottles. With a running start to catch up with him, she gave a battle cry—well, more of a piercing scream—as she leapt upon him, making the two of them crash downward. On the tumble down, Spike hit his head on top of a headstone—hard—before bouncing back up and collapsing sideways, with Harmony still on his back.

"This is all your fault, you know, being so mean! I remembered yours, didn't I?" And with that, she thwacked him on the back of the head with the wine bottle that was still clutched in her hand, breaking the glass, and having red wine explode on the back his bleached head and down his neck.

Harmony frowned in confusion as she got no response. She turned his head, and saw that his eyes were closed, and there was a huge bruise on his forehead. He was knocked out.

"Oops."

Sobered by his prone state, she got off of him quickly, and lifted him up, wincing when she heard his head smack against the side of another headstone, and then put him over her shoulder, fireman style.

"I just wanted you to pay attention to me, Spike. Happy birthday to me," she pouted, heading back to the crypt.

~*~*~*~*~

She knew that they had an oddball relationship. If one could even call it that, she pffted to herself. What started as a house guest position, where they had sex on occasion, turned into something more. They'd had a conversation one night, and Spike admitted to her how yeah, sometimes he was lonely.

"Not gonna lie to you, Harm, you drive me up the bloody wall some—most times," he amended with a smile. "But...It's nice, having a bit of company, yeah? And uh...I missed you. Kind of." He rolled his eyes at that. "Bloody hell, stake me."

That admission, as miniscule as it was, warmed her heart. She knew that she'd fallen in love with him again.

So okay, a part of her thought it would be different this time around—that he'd be different. But of course, he had to forget her birthday, and when confronted about it, all he did was shrug and attempt to leave her alone in the crypt. She sniffled a bit, as she laid him gently on top of the sarcophagus.

"Why can't you be nicer to me?" she asked his still form, and then lay down beside him, snuggling against him, with her hand over his still heart. With a few stray tears dripping down her cheeks, she fell into an uneasy sleep.

~*~*~*~*~

William's head ached. Horribly.

He groaned, stretching a bit, smelling…wine? He didn't recall drinking anything. Also, there was a weight pressing on his side…

He opened his bleary eyes slowly, seeing a blurry blackness where his ceiling should be, frowned, turned his head, and…

Saw a blonde head. Attached to a very much female body who wore a shirt so short, that part of her torso was exposed.

With a yelp, he rolled off to the side away from her, and landed on the very hard floor.

William was clearly not at home.

"Spike! You're awake! You um, had a nasty fall earlier…you okay?" the woman up above asked him. William slowly got to his feet, used his index finger to push up his glasses that were, all right, not there, and looked at the blonde woman now sitting atop the…sarcophagus?

Just what exactly was going on?

"Who are you? And what is this…place?" he asked, looking around and growing more afraid by the second. He was sure that something incredibly dreadful must have happened. He looked at the woman again with the quite large heaving bosom and bare torso—Her face; keep looking at her face—and felt another wave of fear wash over him, though this time, it was of a different variety.

She squint her eyes at him for a second, and then a smile that could only be described as saucy bloomed on her face.

Oh dear…

~*~*~*~*~

"So…you don't remember what happened?"

He shook his head at her.

"What's the last thing you do remember?"

Shoulders slightly he hunched, he hung his head, crossing his arms in front of himself.

"Well, I read a bit to mother until she fell asleep, wrote a little bit in the study…then retired for the evening."

Harmony frowned, not sure what to make of this.

"So…William?"

He looked up, and she knew if he'd been human, he would've blushed.

"Yes."

She stared at him, still frowning, unsure o what to do.

"I'm terribly sorry, Miss, uh, Miss—"

"Harmony," she supplied with a smile.

"Miss Harmony. Thank you. But how did I come to be here? And where is 'here' exactly?"

"Um…well you see…"

*~*~*~*~

FIVE MINUTES LATER.

"Spi—William, wait!"

"No! This is clearly some awful, mean spirited prank," William said as he marched through the cemetery, looking around anxiously as he did so. He was not afraid. He was not.

"I have to get home to mother."

"But that's what I'm trying to tell you—she's not here. Not only are we in America, but it's the year two—"

"Stop!" William pleaded as he stopped moving, turning to her. Tears were in his eyes. "Just stop. You—you must be mistaken."

"William, I swear that I'm not lying to you."

He paused and seemed to compose himself, and then gave her a soft smile.

"I'm sure that you believe this all to be true, but I think it is you that is confused, unfortunately. Good evening," he finished with a slight bow of his head before turning away. Harmony sighed, following after him.

Who knew what kind of trouble he could get into in this state?

~*~*~*~*~

A VAMPIRE RISING, GIRLY MAN SCREAMING AND RUNNING FROM WILLIAM SEVEN MINUTES LATER…

"William—William!" Harmony shouted, finally catching up to him, grabbing his arm. "God, calm down! It was just a vampire, which I did warn you about."

"But they're real. And his face!"

Harmony sighed. "I know. And it's okay—you have, you know, a face like that too. Not that you can actually see it…Ooh, we could get a camera!"

"No," William said forcefully, his posture straightening and his chin jutting out defiantly. "There is no possible way that I could ever be…that," he said. If he weren't a man, Harmony so would have described his tone as "dainty."

She rolled her eyes.

"Oh yeah?" With a toss of her hair, she punched him in the face. His head whipped to the side, and he gave her a look of hurt and shock.

"Ow! That hu—" She cut him off with another right handed punch to the face. This time, when he whipped his head back to look at her, he gave a golden eyed glare with a low growl. Harmony smiled, pleased.

"See? You've got the wrinklies and the fangs going."

William frowned.

"Touch."

She grabbed his hand, and put his fingers on his forehead. His eyes widened as he felt his now rumpled face. Harmony shifted as well, and gave him a fangy smile.

"See? It's totally okay!"

William's knees buckled a bit, causing him to stumble.

"I think…I think I need a chair. Or a drink, perhaps."

Harmony straightened him up, putting his arm around her shoulders.

"All righty, Willy."

"William," he instantly corrected with a sigh, shoulders slumping in defeat.

"Let's go get you that drink. I know just the place."

*~*~*~*~*

NEARLY TWENTY MINUTES LATER, IN WHICH WILLIAM ABSOLUTELY DID NOT CRY, AT A BAR.

"Feeling any better?" Harmony asked with a reassuring smile as she sat across from William in a booth.

"Just so we're clear…" he started, looking down.

"Uh huh?" She grabbed one of his hands. He used the free one to take a sip of beer, and then turned inquisitive blue eyes on her.

"I'm your gentleman caller? You're…my lady?"

"Oh. Well, yeah," she said matter of factly. He tilted his head, smiling at her. The gesture seemed off to Harmony—she was used to seeing the head tilt with a naughty smirk. It was different and a tad disconcerting, but sweet.

Maybe this whole "William" thing wouldn't be so bad after all. She wondered how long it would last.