For Those in Peril on the Sea
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Pokémon. Or the Miranda warning. Or popcorn.
Note: 'Houyoku', in the way I mean it, means 'phoenix's wings'. It will make sense.
Also: This is NOT an alternate universe. Remember the St. Anne episode? They weren't dead...But no one knew that. Feel free to use that fact for yourselves, I'd love to see a Mrs. Ketchum POV on that and I doubt I'll ever write it.
~*~
I tossed the flowers onto the surface of the sea.
Innoccous action in itself, perhaps. But it wasn't--it wasn't. The sobbing woman somewhere behind me was a reminder that it wasn't.
We headed back to shore like it was nothing. But it was, you know? It really was. It was one of those days where nothing seems quite real, quite there, and you can't be completely sure you're not a disembodied brain in a labratory, just dreaming. Of course that's nonsense. You can't think like that. But damn it, it was.
I am just sick and tired of this job. We see all the bad stuff and pretend not to. Hell, we pretend it never happened. Ever heard of someone getting killed, anyone? No? It happens. But we don't tell you that.
That's the secret sorrow that haunts us, my family and the Joys. That knowledge of exactly how far the darkness spreads. They say the first Jenny and the first Joy were twin sisters. I believe it. If it isn't true, it might as well be.
And those five children down there are why we never speak, why we keep silent, about everything. Like ten years back--a serial killer started to attack the Joys. We started checking the centers every morning, five o'clock, after a killer would have been there but before anyone else would have seen. You know what we did? We'd transfer a new Joy there before anyone noticed. No one ever would. I only know of one person, besides us and the Joys themselves, who can tell the difference between two Joys. And they say he's some lovesick teenager.
Just like, possibly, one of the kids down there.
What potential, I have to think; what potentialities that once were for this world, no longer exist? What possible futures have died with these children? What could have happened... That can't now? What might die, what might live, what evil might befall us, or what good?
What, I wonder, have we lost?
Well, at the very least, we've lost five lives; and God knows we can't afford even one.
I wonder; what's happening to them? Right now? Are they in heaven, in hell? Surely no good power would send them to hell. I don't care what that woman says about Team Rocket, for God's sake, they were eighteen at most. No good power would do that, no God. A dark one, perhaps.
The power that controls the universe isn't _evil_, is it? Could it be? If so, would joy exist?... If the opposite, would evil?
But there's no way to tell, except by faith, really. Good and Evil... In this world, neither seems sometimes to conquer the other. I think they're the only incompatible polar opposites that exist.
Light and Dark--that's different. Something is either light, or dark. Light can be defined as the absence of darkness, and dark can be defined as the absence of light. Yet I've never seen something completely light or completely dark, something completely good or completely evil.
Except maybe five kids dying.
We finally make it to the dock. I say finally because, that poor woman, I think she might have jumped off the raft if it had been much longer.
"Well, nice seeing you all, my condolences, must go..." The captain leaps off the boat.
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!!"
I said I'd never seen something completely evil? I might have to take that back.
"You get your lousy butt over here!" I leapt onto the dock and grabbed him by his jacket. I'd had suspicions of him before this, based on eyewitness accounts. But now...
"Pardon me," I told the people on the boats. "I have to leave. My heart is with you."
Once upon a time, so Mother tells me, there was a different legal system, even before Pokémon training. Crime was more open, more realized those days. When Pokémon came, we thought those days were over. They weren't.
Back in those days, law enforcement had more regulations. None of those still exist. There was a thing called the Miranda warning: you had the right to remain silent, and other things I can't remember. And police had to give it. They weren't allowed to hurt the accused...
Nice, impractical things like that.
"LISTEN UP!" I screamed at him, throwing him down onto the chair. "I want the truth! Nothing but the truth! How did they manage to get themselves drowned? The ship was supposed to have been inspected before you left, there were no storms where you were supposed to be, regulations would have had someone to prevent them going back on the ship, AND you would have noticed in the roll call that they were missing!"
The man burst into tears.
"Oh, forget it. I already know what you did. Now, you have a choice. Get another job, where nobody's life depends on you... Or not. The not involves you spending the rest of your life either in jail, or dead. Likely dead eventually. Stupid damned parole. Tell me: what will it be?"
I wait patiently. Miranda rights... Had they been read to him... Judging him, he would have gotten a lawyer. Damn, it would've been a mess then. But they meant well... Usually it worked. Sometimes it didn't. But nothing works all the time.
"I'll retire as captain."
"And if I EVER see you where you could endanger people's lives..."
"Jail or worse."
I nodded. "Okay. You can leave."
Moron. Absolute moron. But then, who isn't?
Like me for example. Giving my life to law enforcement. I've never had a boyfriend. Or even a friend other than Joy. I don't even like my Growlithe much. And I HATE bugs, so no Spinarak for me, even if it _wasn't_ against regulations in Kanto. You know what I wanted? Not much. I wanted a Pidgey and a breeze, a hair-ribbon and a hope. But that's too much to ask. And that's all right.
I walk out of the police station. Tired--so tired of this. The days are either quiet, boring, stifling or completely drenched in blood. But someone has to do it. And why not me? Why should I make someone else do this? Why should someone else have to throw the flowers?
I've found myself walking along the docks. It's a goregous day. Sun sparkling on the water like the sea is made of liquid crystal and the sun is all our hopes. Warm, and a breeze... A nice, cold breeze. I always was a fall and winter person. Except in the spring.
And what were they, Jenny? I ask myself, shaking my head at my own arrogance. Like I matter. There are bigger things than my happiness. Five children died today. And you're thinking about your JOB?
I shook my head, and tried to find the words to the song in my head. Finally I gave up, and hummed it. An ancient song, one Joy learned from her grandmother. A 'hymn', she called it. One of the older ancient songs. Joy's grandmother knew a lot about the past. She was a historian--in her spare time. She even wrote history books under psuedonyms.
The lost potential.... The lost lives.... Finally, I come to the only words I remember. "For those in peril on the sea..."
All those happy people... Why can't I just be happy, like everyone else?
Because... Like _my_ grandmother told me, just a hint of ancient sadness in her eyes... We allow everyone else to be happy... The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one. So many people worse off than me...Like who, again?
I shake my head. It may be narccisistic, but the truth is, I was right. If there are people more unhappy than I, we aren't doing our job.
The wind picks up, and I hear a faint cry.
"What the?"
A Pidgey has been blown into my arms. It looks up at me...
I've never seen a Pidgey with silver eyes...
It coos, sounding satisfied, like at last it has found something.
"What?..." I stare into the Pidgey's eyes, and something changes. This, I suddenly realize, is right. This was meant to be. This, this could be the Pidgey in my dream...
"You'll stay with me?..." I whisper.
~Of COURSE I will... I like you...~
Some people, it's said, understand Pokémon. You come across a rare one who understands them all. But just slightly more common is the impossible ability to perfectly understand _one_, one specific Pokémon. And it looks like...
I smile, and perch it on my shoulder. "Here. I'll take you to meet Joy."
~As in Nurse? Poor thing. Those people repress so much. Always thought they were crazy, y'know? But I can't complain. They all seem to be really great people.~
"I'd figure you thought so."
~So you DO understand me.~
"Of course... What's your name?"
~Don't have one.~
Hmm. I like her already. Cheery, with a good wit and more wisdom than any non-Joy or Jenny I've ever met. Some odd--odder than usual--mix of light and darkness.
~Like you.~
"Hmm?"
~Darkness fighting for light.~
"I never claimed to be normal..."
~Thank goodness.~
I pull something out of my pocket. I take my hair out of its band and instead tie my ponytail with deep black ribbon, not even in a bow, the ends trailing down to my waist. It's against regulations. I don't give a damn.
A wind starts blowing, and I laugh. What was it I said just a few minutes ago? All I'd wanted was a Pidgey, a breeze, a hair-ribbon, and a hope. Looks like I've got my wish.
The job isn't going to magically change. Still blood alternating with boredom. My social life isn't going to alter. No boyfriends, just Joy. Except with one addition; a Pidgey. Some bit of destiny had brought us here somehow...
~I'm happy I finally found someone nice. You aren't gonna put me in a Pokéball, and you like me. I was looking so long... For something more than what was. For a hope, you know? But why am I asking. You do.~
"Yes."
~I don't know why we're here or why we understand each other or why I get the feeling I've known you all my life, either. But it's a heck of a lot better than what I had before, you know?~
"You'd better believe it," I say, still searching in my mind for a name. I find it just as the Pokémon Center comes into view.
"C'mon, Houyoku, let's keep the peace," I say, grinning.
After all, what better epitath can I honor those dead with than being happy?
~*~
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Pokémon. Or the Miranda warning. Or popcorn.
Note: 'Houyoku', in the way I mean it, means 'phoenix's wings'. It will make sense.
Also: This is NOT an alternate universe. Remember the St. Anne episode? They weren't dead...But no one knew that. Feel free to use that fact for yourselves, I'd love to see a Mrs. Ketchum POV on that and I doubt I'll ever write it.
~*~
I tossed the flowers onto the surface of the sea.
Innoccous action in itself, perhaps. But it wasn't--it wasn't. The sobbing woman somewhere behind me was a reminder that it wasn't.
We headed back to shore like it was nothing. But it was, you know? It really was. It was one of those days where nothing seems quite real, quite there, and you can't be completely sure you're not a disembodied brain in a labratory, just dreaming. Of course that's nonsense. You can't think like that. But damn it, it was.
I am just sick and tired of this job. We see all the bad stuff and pretend not to. Hell, we pretend it never happened. Ever heard of someone getting killed, anyone? No? It happens. But we don't tell you that.
That's the secret sorrow that haunts us, my family and the Joys. That knowledge of exactly how far the darkness spreads. They say the first Jenny and the first Joy were twin sisters. I believe it. If it isn't true, it might as well be.
And those five children down there are why we never speak, why we keep silent, about everything. Like ten years back--a serial killer started to attack the Joys. We started checking the centers every morning, five o'clock, after a killer would have been there but before anyone else would have seen. You know what we did? We'd transfer a new Joy there before anyone noticed. No one ever would. I only know of one person, besides us and the Joys themselves, who can tell the difference between two Joys. And they say he's some lovesick teenager.
Just like, possibly, one of the kids down there.
What potential, I have to think; what potentialities that once were for this world, no longer exist? What possible futures have died with these children? What could have happened... That can't now? What might die, what might live, what evil might befall us, or what good?
What, I wonder, have we lost?
Well, at the very least, we've lost five lives; and God knows we can't afford even one.
I wonder; what's happening to them? Right now? Are they in heaven, in hell? Surely no good power would send them to hell. I don't care what that woman says about Team Rocket, for God's sake, they were eighteen at most. No good power would do that, no God. A dark one, perhaps.
The power that controls the universe isn't _evil_, is it? Could it be? If so, would joy exist?... If the opposite, would evil?
But there's no way to tell, except by faith, really. Good and Evil... In this world, neither seems sometimes to conquer the other. I think they're the only incompatible polar opposites that exist.
Light and Dark--that's different. Something is either light, or dark. Light can be defined as the absence of darkness, and dark can be defined as the absence of light. Yet I've never seen something completely light or completely dark, something completely good or completely evil.
Except maybe five kids dying.
We finally make it to the dock. I say finally because, that poor woman, I think she might have jumped off the raft if it had been much longer.
"Well, nice seeing you all, my condolences, must go..." The captain leaps off the boat.
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!!"
I said I'd never seen something completely evil? I might have to take that back.
"You get your lousy butt over here!" I leapt onto the dock and grabbed him by his jacket. I'd had suspicions of him before this, based on eyewitness accounts. But now...
"Pardon me," I told the people on the boats. "I have to leave. My heart is with you."
Once upon a time, so Mother tells me, there was a different legal system, even before Pokémon training. Crime was more open, more realized those days. When Pokémon came, we thought those days were over. They weren't.
Back in those days, law enforcement had more regulations. None of those still exist. There was a thing called the Miranda warning: you had the right to remain silent, and other things I can't remember. And police had to give it. They weren't allowed to hurt the accused...
Nice, impractical things like that.
"LISTEN UP!" I screamed at him, throwing him down onto the chair. "I want the truth! Nothing but the truth! How did they manage to get themselves drowned? The ship was supposed to have been inspected before you left, there were no storms where you were supposed to be, regulations would have had someone to prevent them going back on the ship, AND you would have noticed in the roll call that they were missing!"
The man burst into tears.
"Oh, forget it. I already know what you did. Now, you have a choice. Get another job, where nobody's life depends on you... Or not. The not involves you spending the rest of your life either in jail, or dead. Likely dead eventually. Stupid damned parole. Tell me: what will it be?"
I wait patiently. Miranda rights... Had they been read to him... Judging him, he would have gotten a lawyer. Damn, it would've been a mess then. But they meant well... Usually it worked. Sometimes it didn't. But nothing works all the time.
"I'll retire as captain."
"And if I EVER see you where you could endanger people's lives..."
"Jail or worse."
I nodded. "Okay. You can leave."
Moron. Absolute moron. But then, who isn't?
Like me for example. Giving my life to law enforcement. I've never had a boyfriend. Or even a friend other than Joy. I don't even like my Growlithe much. And I HATE bugs, so no Spinarak for me, even if it _wasn't_ against regulations in Kanto. You know what I wanted? Not much. I wanted a Pidgey and a breeze, a hair-ribbon and a hope. But that's too much to ask. And that's all right.
I walk out of the police station. Tired--so tired of this. The days are either quiet, boring, stifling or completely drenched in blood. But someone has to do it. And why not me? Why should I make someone else do this? Why should someone else have to throw the flowers?
I've found myself walking along the docks. It's a goregous day. Sun sparkling on the water like the sea is made of liquid crystal and the sun is all our hopes. Warm, and a breeze... A nice, cold breeze. I always was a fall and winter person. Except in the spring.
And what were they, Jenny? I ask myself, shaking my head at my own arrogance. Like I matter. There are bigger things than my happiness. Five children died today. And you're thinking about your JOB?
I shook my head, and tried to find the words to the song in my head. Finally I gave up, and hummed it. An ancient song, one Joy learned from her grandmother. A 'hymn', she called it. One of the older ancient songs. Joy's grandmother knew a lot about the past. She was a historian--in her spare time. She even wrote history books under psuedonyms.
The lost potential.... The lost lives.... Finally, I come to the only words I remember. "For those in peril on the sea..."
All those happy people... Why can't I just be happy, like everyone else?
Because... Like _my_ grandmother told me, just a hint of ancient sadness in her eyes... We allow everyone else to be happy... The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one. So many people worse off than me...Like who, again?
I shake my head. It may be narccisistic, but the truth is, I was right. If there are people more unhappy than I, we aren't doing our job.
The wind picks up, and I hear a faint cry.
"What the?"
A Pidgey has been blown into my arms. It looks up at me...
I've never seen a Pidgey with silver eyes...
It coos, sounding satisfied, like at last it has found something.
"What?..." I stare into the Pidgey's eyes, and something changes. This, I suddenly realize, is right. This was meant to be. This, this could be the Pidgey in my dream...
"You'll stay with me?..." I whisper.
~Of COURSE I will... I like you...~
Some people, it's said, understand Pokémon. You come across a rare one who understands them all. But just slightly more common is the impossible ability to perfectly understand _one_, one specific Pokémon. And it looks like...
I smile, and perch it on my shoulder. "Here. I'll take you to meet Joy."
~As in Nurse? Poor thing. Those people repress so much. Always thought they were crazy, y'know? But I can't complain. They all seem to be really great people.~
"I'd figure you thought so."
~So you DO understand me.~
"Of course... What's your name?"
~Don't have one.~
Hmm. I like her already. Cheery, with a good wit and more wisdom than any non-Joy or Jenny I've ever met. Some odd--odder than usual--mix of light and darkness.
~Like you.~
"Hmm?"
~Darkness fighting for light.~
"I never claimed to be normal..."
~Thank goodness.~
I pull something out of my pocket. I take my hair out of its band and instead tie my ponytail with deep black ribbon, not even in a bow, the ends trailing down to my waist. It's against regulations. I don't give a damn.
A wind starts blowing, and I laugh. What was it I said just a few minutes ago? All I'd wanted was a Pidgey, a breeze, a hair-ribbon, and a hope. Looks like I've got my wish.
The job isn't going to magically change. Still blood alternating with boredom. My social life isn't going to alter. No boyfriends, just Joy. Except with one addition; a Pidgey. Some bit of destiny had brought us here somehow...
~I'm happy I finally found someone nice. You aren't gonna put me in a Pokéball, and you like me. I was looking so long... For something more than what was. For a hope, you know? But why am I asking. You do.~
"Yes."
~I don't know why we're here or why we understand each other or why I get the feeling I've known you all my life, either. But it's a heck of a lot better than what I had before, you know?~
"You'd better believe it," I say, still searching in my mind for a name. I find it just as the Pokémon Center comes into view.
"C'mon, Houyoku, let's keep the peace," I say, grinning.
After all, what better epitath can I honor those dead with than being happy?
~*~