A/N: This whole story is about what would happen if Calvin had (insert random word here). Hence the title "What If...." Calvin may seem out of character, but it's how I envision him like this. However, they are all in dream format. Oh yeah, I don't own Calvin and Hobbes.
The short six year old awoke in his bed. "Another day to go to school!" he smiled excitedly. He popped out of bed and raced down the stairs. His mother was holding his baby brother in her arms.
"Good morning, Calvin!" Calvin's mom grinned. She was very happy to have such a good kid that she gave birth to another one.
"Good morning, Mom! Good morning, Toby!" He sat down at the table and poured himself a bowl of Raisn Bran. He loved that cereal. As he ate, he looked forward to his day at school.
"Calvin, you'd better hurry, or you'll be late for school!" Calvin's mom said, setting the baby down onto a blanket.
"Sure thing, Mom!" He finished the last of his cereal and went upstairs, combing his hair, making his bed, and folding his clothes neatly and put them in his dresser.
He went back downstairs, grabbed his school supplies, and went to wait for the bus ten minutes early. Susie Derkins was out there, lugging around her stuffed tiger she claimed to be real.
"Look, Hobbes, it's Calvin. He's such a learning freak it's sickening !" Susie nudged the stuffed tiger at her side.
"Hello, Susie. Why don't you like learning? It's fun!" Calvin looked slightly repulsed when he said Susie's name.
"Learning?!? FUN?!?" Susie gasped, looking shocked.
"Yes! It's very fun! If you know what to do, it can be like an adventure!"
"Our herione, the famous Spacewoman Selena, sees an unusuall creature, an 'Learnius Enjoyerus,' commonly called a Nerd," Susie muttered under her breath.
"Not more of that stupid Spacewoman Selena junk, Susie!" Calvin sighed exasperatedly.
"Aw... the bus is here," Susie cringed at the sight of the yellow bus which just pulled up. "See you later, Hobbes..." Calvin climbed onto the bus, closley followed by Susie.
"Susie, where's your book report? It's due today!" Calvin glanced at Susie after they sat down, and saw that she wasn't carrying her book report and visual aid with her.
"OH NO! MY BOOK REPORT!" Susie slapped her forehead. She leaped up and ran to the front of the bus.
"Hey! What are you doing? SIT DOWN!" the bus driver yelled at Susie as she attempted to rush out of the bus door. Moaning, Susie protested.
"My book report is due today and I forgot it!" she said, hoping the bus driver would let her get off.
"Is it at your house?" the bus driver asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No. I need a pencil and some paper to do it..."
"Sit down," the bus driver ordered, pointing back at Susie's seat.
"You forgot to do your book report ALL TOGETHER?" Calvin looked shocked. He never forgot to do his homework.
"Hey, it's not my fault Hobbes and me had a big G.R.O.S.S. meeting last night!" Susie said loathingly at Calvin.
Calvin stared at her blankly. "G.R.O.S.S? What's that?"
"Get Rid Of Stupid boyS. Hobbes is the only guy aloud in, because he's not stupid," Susie stuck her tounge out at Calvin at this.
"That's not 'G.R.O.S.S!' That's G.R.O.S.B!" Calvin pointed out.
"It doesn't spell anything that way! Now, shut up and leave me alone!"
At school, Susie got in trouble with their teacher, Miss Wormwood. "Young lady," she said sternly, "how many times have I told you NOT to bother Calvin in class?"
"It's all his fault, Miss Wormwood!" Susie replied.
Miss Wormwood looked shocked. "Is this true, Calvin?"
"No, Miss Wormwood. Susie was trying to get me to tell her about the book we had to read for our book report, which she didn't read," he glared at Susie for trying to blame HER crime on him.
"Miss Derkins, to the principal's office...." Then, under her breath, she added, "Only five more years... only five more years..."
Susie slowly walked out towards the principal's office, and didn't return until lunchtime.
"Hi, Calvin!" she said, plopping down next to Calvin at lunch.
"Go away, Susie. I don't want to hear about any living mucus or your pet garden snail in your lunch today," Calvin massaged his stomach as he said this.
"Oh, don't be jealous! I'll give you some moth-wing soup!" Susie tried to give Calvin her thermous, but he moved over two tables.
When Calvin got home, he went inside and did his homework, and went for a walk. When he passed Susie's house, she was sprawled flat on the ground, fighting with her stuffed tiger.
"I'll get you for that, you fuzzball! WHAT? I am not! You'll pay for that!" Calvin heard Susie yell as she kicked her tiger, who showed no signs of fighting.
"Um... Susie? What ARE you doing?" Cavlin looked skeptically at Susie.
"This stupid fur-face here LOVES to pounce on me EVERY DAY!" Susie pointed at Hobbes, who was still just sitting there.
"Whatever... I really need to start hanging out with people like me..." Calvin muttered as he walked away, leaving Susie yelling at her tiger.
* * * *
"HOBBES!" Calvin shook his best friend awake. "WAKE UP!"
"Where's my Nobel Prize?" Hobbes muttered, slowly waking up.
"Wake up, stupid!" Calvin insulted.
"What?" Hobbes asked, now fully awake.
"I just had the WORST dream! I was like Susie, and Susie was like me!"
"And you woke me up because..." Hobbes let his sentance trail off.
"Never mind. I'm going back to sleep!" And with that, Calvin pulled the covers over his head and started snoring a few minutes later.
The short six year old awoke in his bed. "Another day to go to school!" he smiled excitedly. He popped out of bed and raced down the stairs. His mother was holding his baby brother in her arms.
"Good morning, Calvin!" Calvin's mom grinned. She was very happy to have such a good kid that she gave birth to another one.
"Good morning, Mom! Good morning, Toby!" He sat down at the table and poured himself a bowl of Raisn Bran. He loved that cereal. As he ate, he looked forward to his day at school.
"Calvin, you'd better hurry, or you'll be late for school!" Calvin's mom said, setting the baby down onto a blanket.
"Sure thing, Mom!" He finished the last of his cereal and went upstairs, combing his hair, making his bed, and folding his clothes neatly and put them in his dresser.
He went back downstairs, grabbed his school supplies, and went to wait for the bus ten minutes early. Susie Derkins was out there, lugging around her stuffed tiger she claimed to be real.
"Look, Hobbes, it's Calvin. He's such a learning freak it's sickening !" Susie nudged the stuffed tiger at her side.
"Hello, Susie. Why don't you like learning? It's fun!" Calvin looked slightly repulsed when he said Susie's name.
"Learning?!? FUN?!?" Susie gasped, looking shocked.
"Yes! It's very fun! If you know what to do, it can be like an adventure!"
"Our herione, the famous Spacewoman Selena, sees an unusuall creature, an 'Learnius Enjoyerus,' commonly called a Nerd," Susie muttered under her breath.
"Not more of that stupid Spacewoman Selena junk, Susie!" Calvin sighed exasperatedly.
"Aw... the bus is here," Susie cringed at the sight of the yellow bus which just pulled up. "See you later, Hobbes..." Calvin climbed onto the bus, closley followed by Susie.
"Susie, where's your book report? It's due today!" Calvin glanced at Susie after they sat down, and saw that she wasn't carrying her book report and visual aid with her.
"OH NO! MY BOOK REPORT!" Susie slapped her forehead. She leaped up and ran to the front of the bus.
"Hey! What are you doing? SIT DOWN!" the bus driver yelled at Susie as she attempted to rush out of the bus door. Moaning, Susie protested.
"My book report is due today and I forgot it!" she said, hoping the bus driver would let her get off.
"Is it at your house?" the bus driver asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No. I need a pencil and some paper to do it..."
"Sit down," the bus driver ordered, pointing back at Susie's seat.
"You forgot to do your book report ALL TOGETHER?" Calvin looked shocked. He never forgot to do his homework.
"Hey, it's not my fault Hobbes and me had a big G.R.O.S.S. meeting last night!" Susie said loathingly at Calvin.
Calvin stared at her blankly. "G.R.O.S.S? What's that?"
"Get Rid Of Stupid boyS. Hobbes is the only guy aloud in, because he's not stupid," Susie stuck her tounge out at Calvin at this.
"That's not 'G.R.O.S.S!' That's G.R.O.S.B!" Calvin pointed out.
"It doesn't spell anything that way! Now, shut up and leave me alone!"
At school, Susie got in trouble with their teacher, Miss Wormwood. "Young lady," she said sternly, "how many times have I told you NOT to bother Calvin in class?"
"It's all his fault, Miss Wormwood!" Susie replied.
Miss Wormwood looked shocked. "Is this true, Calvin?"
"No, Miss Wormwood. Susie was trying to get me to tell her about the book we had to read for our book report, which she didn't read," he glared at Susie for trying to blame HER crime on him.
"Miss Derkins, to the principal's office...." Then, under her breath, she added, "Only five more years... only five more years..."
Susie slowly walked out towards the principal's office, and didn't return until lunchtime.
"Hi, Calvin!" she said, plopping down next to Calvin at lunch.
"Go away, Susie. I don't want to hear about any living mucus or your pet garden snail in your lunch today," Calvin massaged his stomach as he said this.
"Oh, don't be jealous! I'll give you some moth-wing soup!" Susie tried to give Calvin her thermous, but he moved over two tables.
When Calvin got home, he went inside and did his homework, and went for a walk. When he passed Susie's house, she was sprawled flat on the ground, fighting with her stuffed tiger.
"I'll get you for that, you fuzzball! WHAT? I am not! You'll pay for that!" Calvin heard Susie yell as she kicked her tiger, who showed no signs of fighting.
"Um... Susie? What ARE you doing?" Cavlin looked skeptically at Susie.
"This stupid fur-face here LOVES to pounce on me EVERY DAY!" Susie pointed at Hobbes, who was still just sitting there.
"Whatever... I really need to start hanging out with people like me..." Calvin muttered as he walked away, leaving Susie yelling at her tiger.
* * * *
"HOBBES!" Calvin shook his best friend awake. "WAKE UP!"
"Where's my Nobel Prize?" Hobbes muttered, slowly waking up.
"Wake up, stupid!" Calvin insulted.
"What?" Hobbes asked, now fully awake.
"I just had the WORST dream! I was like Susie, and Susie was like me!"
"And you woke me up because..." Hobbes let his sentance trail off.
"Never mind. I'm going back to sleep!" And with that, Calvin pulled the covers over his head and started snoring a few minutes later.