Authors Note- Hello. So…there are a few things I would like to state before we all jump into this.

I would just like to start by saying I, obviously, do not own Red Band Society. Also, I have not written a fan-fiction since I was about 14 and Kids Next Door was still on (hello, number 3 and number 4?) so please excuse me if this is a bit rough at first.

So, without further adieu…

Red Band Romance

Chapter One

Emma

All I know is that it hurts. But, that hurt must mean I am stronger, it must mean that I am becoming the me I should have always been. They like to tell me that all these pains make me weak, but they are wrong. These hunger pains, they mean I am getting thinner. The holes in my heart, they mean I am strong enough not to need anyone. I am not sick. I am strong. They know nothing.

That is not true. I am weak. I hear wheels coming down the hall towards my room and quickly look up. Is it someone coming to see me? Maybe Brittany is coming to bring me my dinner. Or maybe Kara is coming to offer me some sort of pill. Those feelings mean I am weak. Or, even weaker, I hope it will be one of the boys.

The boys. Jordi and Leo. I know that Jordi like me. And I know that Leo still his leftover feelings for me. I can feel it in the way they look at me. And I would want nothing more to give myself up and be taken away into the throws of love. Let someone else help absorb my pain, and in turn absorb theirs. Let someone else in. Feel happiness with someone else. Like I felt with Leo. Like I could feel with Jordi. But I cannot do that. I will not give myself up so easily again. Time after time. I will be in control this time.

There is a knock on the door. I glance up from the book I am reading. If you could call it reading, I have been stuck on the same page for an hour. Leo is sitting in his wheelchair, waiting to gain entrance to my room. I do not know if I am happy his eyes are the ones mine meet, or disappointed. "Hey." He says, his usual relaxed tone carrying his words.

"What do you want, Leo?" I do not wish to sound so mean, but I am afraid I will lose control again. I do not want to let him affect me. I won't. "I am trying to read."

His face remains neutral. "We are having a party on the roof," he pauses to judge my expression "after we all eat dinner." Again he pauses, this time he wheels himself completely into my room. "So when you finish eating you should come join us. Dash was able to score some green."

I study his face. His eyes are big and inviting, the offer was not meant to bother me. Still, I feel as if he was on the offensive. I take a deep breath and manage a kind response. "When I finish eating my dinner I will try to meet you guys up there." I try not to let me voice falter. I will not be eating my dinner. "And you know I do not take any drugs. Smoking weed is included in that."

He lets out a brief laugh. "Yeah. I know." Leo looks down at the carpet and sighs, then meets my eyes again. "I hear it's pizza for dinner. I can't wait." His smile has faded and a few beats of silence follow. I know what he is thinking, he knows I won't eat it. This hurts him for some reason. Still, his voice remains neutral, "I'll see you later."

I watch silently as he backs out of my room. His eyes don't leave mine. "Sounds good." I manage to say before he turns away and pushes himself down the hall, I clear my throat, "Later, Leo." He nods and I watch him roll down the hall. "But I won't eat the dinner".

Leo

I am just finishing up an article I found online about a Climate March in New York City when Dash walks in. I don't hear him step into the room because I am lost in my thoughts. So many things are spinning around in my brain. If I wasn't stuck in this hospital I could join protests too. If I wasn't missing a leg I could march through a city too. If I wasn't just another kid with cancer I could change the world too.

I don't notice Dash until he clears his throat loudly. My head bolts up, startled out of its spiraling thoughts. Before I get a chance to yell anything at him he takes something out from behind his back. "Someone finally paid up." He is holding out a large zip-lock bag half full of little green nuggets. "I bet the crazy kid three doors down from me that I could get Nurse Britany to give me a sponge bath." He winks.

"How did you manage that?" I'm more impressed by the sponge bath then the weed. Weed isn't that hard to come by around here, seeing that medical is legal in California. "Come to think of it, I don't want to know". The idea of my best friend naked and getting rubbed down by the only hot nurse in the building is far from arousing.

Dash wiggles his eyebrows and hides the bag under his shirt. "As if you could pull it off. We can't all be as sexy as me." He flexes his poor excuse of an arm muscle and winks. "Anyway, I've already told Kara and Jordi to meet me on the roof after dinner. You've gotta tell Emma."

I try to fight back the smile. Any excuse I get to talk to Emma is a little piece of happy for me. Dash knows I'm still into her, but he doesn't mention it. He just does the brotherly duty of handing me any reason to talk to her. "After dinner tonight?"

He nods, winks one more time, and slowly backs out of the room to leave me with my thoughts. To think about Emma. My sweet Emma. I lay back in my bed and smile to myself as I think about her.

By the time I make it up to the roof everyone but Emma is there. Kara is stretched out across the makeshift bench, leaving no room for anyone else to sit. She is wearing her leather jacket and is holding a cigarette between her thin fingers. If she wasn't such a stuck up bitch, and if I wasn't still hopelessly in love with Emma, I might be into her. Dash is sitting on the banister, his attention on the joint he is carefully rolling. Jordi is trying to start a conversation with Kara, who is paying him no attention.

My eyes fall on Jordi. I know he likes Emma. I know she likes him, too. But I think she might still like me, too. Or at least I hope she does. She is torn. It hurts me so badly to know that she may choose Jordi over me. If she has the heart to choose. We started off as really good friends, Jordi and I. It's not like I hate the kid; I just don't want him to get the leg and the girl. My girl. But I won't admit that I am jealous. I am not jealous.

I roll over to Dash and turn to my other two friends, although I am not sure either qualify as friends. "Hey guys." I greet as enthusiastically as I can. And let's be honest, it's not so enthusiastic.

Jordi mumbled a 'hi'. He knows I'm grudging against him. He knows I still love Emma. He knows I know he's exploring my territory. He knows I am not happy with him. Kara looks up at me and blows a puff of smoke. "It's about time you showed up. I'm ready to get high, already." Ungrateful bitch.

It looks like Emma is nowhere in sight. I am not surprised, but I am also hopelessly disappointed. My mood turns sour. "Come on, Dash. Are you done yet?" I ask him impatiently. I just want to get high. I know it doesn't help anything in the long run; but forgetting my cancer and forgetting Emma is worth the negatives associated with smoking. Besides, I used to love smoking even before I got cancer.

"Hold up, man." Dash grunts. He is almost done. He licks the edge of the paper and seals up his perfectly shaped joint. "You need to relax." He lights up, the smell of skunk mixed with something sweet fills the air. Dash has bad lungs, so two hits and he can't smoke anymore. He laughs and passes it over to me. "Reee-lax."

My head gets fuzzy when I smoke. I wasn't going to take a hit if Emma was here, she always hated when I smoked. But she didn't bother to show up so I gratefully inhaled as much smoke as I could. I want to greet that fuzzy numb feeling with open arms. "How 'bout you, Jordi?" I take one last hit and exhale with a laugh. Passing him the joint I ask, "You wanna' relax?"

As Jordi is taking the joint from my hand the door that leads to the roof swings open. The four of us freeze and look at the door in a panic. We are all expecting Nurse Jackson to be standing there. After the figure steps into the small ring of light everyone but me relaxes when they see who is at the top of the stairs. It's Emma.