The Queen of the Underworld took a long drag on her cigarette, "tough break kid."

"We were so close," the girl mumbled and continued pacing with a limp, "so close to getting back into the sunlight."

"Here, wanna cigarette? It will calm your nerves."

"No thanks," Eurydice declined, "I hear those things can ki... give it here."

The Queen laughed and handed her's over, the girl coughing as she tried it.

"Still, I cannot belive he could do that to me when we were so close - so close! I could feel the sun on my face and suddenly pouf." She blew a cloud of smoke out into the air.

"I know the feeling kiddo. Half the year I'm upstairs on Olympus with the other gods. Mt. Freakin Olympus! Then at the first frost - bam! I'm sucked back down to this Zeus-forsaken place." She lit a new cigarette. "You'll forget though kid. He'll be down here soon enough."

How can I ever forget the feel of the sun, Eurydice thought to herself as she tried the cigarette again timidly.

Persephone looked at her watch and choked, "shit! Uncle Ra will be here any minute for dinner and I reek of cigarettes and look like a floosy!"

"Uncle Ra?"

"The sun god... he comes down here everynight for dinner just after sunset." Persephone waved the smoke away from her face and dug in her purse for a breathmint and perfume.

"I thought Apollo was the sun god?"

"Apollo, Hellios, Ra - they're all the same. He just prefers his older name when he comes down here is all." Persephone squirted some perfume on herself, then added a squirt or two onto Eurydice, "why dont you join us then huh? I mean you can't eat of course, but Uncy Ra might get a kick outta your story. He's not so lucky in love himself afterall."

Eurydice wasn't sure whether to take it as a compliment or a slap in the face, so she agreed and limped behind the Queen to freshen up quickly and get to dinner.

Eurydice was welcomed at the table, although Hades clearly gave Persephone a look that asked 'why' as the girl sat down. She gave him a smug smile and he rolled his eyes at her. As Ra came in he also gave Hades and Persephone a questioning look, but Persephone explained Eurydice's extreme situation and he simply shrugged and gave her a polite hello. Soon the dinner conversation had turned to politics and religion (as they are apt to do) and Eurydice was asking more than her fair share of the questions.

"So wait, what I was told all my life about the gods and creation was wrong?"

"Well, not so much wrong, as incomplete."

Eurydice frowned, "so what really happened then?"

Ra shifted in his seat and pushed back a strand of shining black hair from his very tanned forehead. "Well, first there was chaos correct?"

"Correct," she said as if she were the authority on creation.

"And from the chaos came Gaia, yes?"

"Yes, and Gaia gave birth to Sky, and then mated with him to give birth to the Titans."

"Wrong." Ra smiled, "in the Egyptian version it was Amun who gave birth himself to the old gods. Really, Gaia and Amun together concieved them, but each group only recognizes the one."

"What? But that doesn't make sense."

"And a hermaphrodite turned heterosexual Gaia does?"

Eurydice frowned, "well, I guess not. So was Amun Sky then?"

"For you yes, but not for the Egyptians. Amun's child was Sky."

Eurydice rubbed at her eyes, "this is too much. So how do all of their gods fit with all of ours?"

"Well, as you know I am Ra, who is also Apollo, who is also Helios. Hades is also Osirus, and Persephone is also Aset, daughter of Isis who is also Demeter. In Egypt Isis and Osirus were married at one point…"

"Trust me, I was glad to go to the Underworld after that – she's an overrightous, controling prude," Hades interjected. "Of course she wouldn't let me have even partial custody of my own daughter, so I had to find some other way to do it. You humans are so damn Freudian though that you think everything is about sex."

"You're his daughter?" Eurydice looked at Persephone in shock.

"Yeah, you kids got it all wrong with your story. I'm the Princess of the Underworld and Daddy is setting me up with this nice young man who should be joining us shortly." Persephone grinned as her father laughed at the joke.

Eurydice was feeling dizzy. Not only was her whole world being turned upside down, but she found the joke more disturbing than anything else.

"Are you feeling ok?" Ra put a strong hand on her shoulder just in case she started to fall, but the sudden heat was making Eurydice even more sick.

"What is wrong with you people?" Eurydice yelled, "You cant just joke about death like that! It's the most awful experience ever!"

Persephone stood up, pushing back her chair so it squealed across the marble. "Don't preach at us about Death! At least you have the chance to move on! We can never die so we have no choice but to stay here!"

Eurydice blinked - she could move on? Where? When? "What do you mean I can move on?"

Ra pushed the angry Persephone back down into her seat. "She doesn't know child, don't get angry at her ignorance." Persephone crossed her arms and set back down in her chair with a frown and let Ra continue. "You see Eurydice, when the Greeks die most of them just stay here as shades because they were never taught how to move on. When the Egyptians come to the underworld, however, they stay here for only a short time before leaving on a quest to get to their afterlife. You could have it too, but your religion doesn't teach you how." Ra leaned back in his chair while Eurydice looked at him, dumbfounded.

"Don't you get it you stupid human?" Persephone leaned forward, "you went the wrong way! No U-turns, one way street, do not enter."

Eurydice scrutinized all three of them for a moment, "well then, how do you do it."

"I don't really think we are allowed to tell you," Hades replied. "Afterall, the more people who go there, the less people I have to rule. And I like being King."

"I don't see why not, its not my fault I never heard of it. You're gods, you can show me the way."

"Im sorry Eurydice, I would like to be able to help you out, but its something you have to know before you get here." Ra shrugged.

"That's not fair! I barely had the chance to learn anything before you ripped me out of my life!" Eurydice leaned back and sulked.

"No one ever said life was fair. Nor death." Persephone raised her glass as if in toast and took a sip of the bitter wine.

Eurydice remained silent through the rest of the god's idle chitchat as she pondered over what they had said and what she could do about it.

As Eurydice was wandering later that evening after dinner, she ran into a shade who seemed a bit different.

"Excuse me," she said quickly, "where are you from?"

The shade looked at her, "Heliopolis. In Egypt. I've only just gotten across the river – I had no money to pay the Ferryman."

Eurydice's eyes widdened. "You are from Egypt? Then you know!" She grabbed the shade woman's arm as the other backed away in fright. "You know how to get to the afterlife!"

The woman's face fell from one of fright to one of disappointment. "I cannot go to the afterlife. I didn't even have the money to pay the Ferryman. I have been waiting a century just to cross the river, by now my body is gone and my name forgotten, I cannot go on."

Eurydice thought a moment, "do you need a body and name to go on?"

"Oh yes, otherwise your Ba and Ka have no place to return! And without your Ba and Ka you cannot move on."

"Well do you remember your name?"

"No," the woman's face fell.

"Are there any names you like?"

The woman thought a moment, I cannot remember. What is your name?"

"Eurydice." She thought a moment. "I remember once when I was young there was this egyptian man and he was asking for a guide, a 'hadi' he called it. I think your name should be Hadiya."

The woman smiled, "I am not a guide though, I was just a servant."

"But you will be my guide," Eurydice said as a spark danced in her eyes, "you will be my guide on my journey to the afterlife. And now you have a name, and you can go."

Hadiya's face fell, "but I still do not have a body."

"But what happens when your body dies? It just becomes part of the earth, so therefore the whole earth could be your body! Your Ba and Ka could go anywhere on earth and be home! Afterall, could you have crossed the river if your Ba and Ka had died?"

Hadiya's eyes lit up, "you are right! If they had died then I could not have crossed!" Her face then fell, "but what about the judgement? What if Osirus gets mad at me for trying to pass when I did not have a proper burial? He will let the monster eat my heart."

Eurydice had a mischevious grin on her face, "you leave Osirus up to me."

Just then Persephone came around the corner, "oh Eurydice dear, Ra had to leave quickly because he was late for his journey, but he wanted me to thank you for joining us at dinner. He felt rather bad about the way things progressed."

Eurydice turned quickly, "thank you." As Persephone started to leave she quickly spoke again, "I don't suppose you know where he is right now? If he has left yet I mean. I wanted to thank him for telling me all about the Egyptians. I found it rather enlightening." Her face was that of an angels as she spoke, and Persephone immediately took pity on the dear.

"Oh he is down by the river Phlegethon, you can probably catch him if you hurry." Persephone smiled at her, it seemed Eurydice was already getting over Orpheus, although perhaps setting her sights on the sun god was just a little out of reach for her.

As Eurydice started to leave, Persephone noticed the other shade next to her. "Who is your friend?"

Eurydice turned back with a smile, "this is Hadiya, we must hurry!" She tugged on the other shade's arm and started running towards the river Phlegethon.

"Hadiya," Persephone said to herself, "huh, weird name."

Eurydice and Hadiya crouched behind a boulder as they watched Ra preparing his boat for the nightly trip. Hadiya's eyes were wide and she was trembling – she had never seen a god before.

"Don't worry," Eurydice said to her with a cool, steady voice, "I had gods at my wedding, they are just like us… only usually taller… and they kinda glow with this heavenly light type thing." She shrugged, "in any case, we will just have to sneak into the boat and hide with all of his bags and such – it's a rather large boat, it shouldn't be difficult."

The only thing that worried Eurydice was that although she had been calling him Ra, she knew the sun god to be Apollo, who was also the god of wisdom and prophesy. Hopefully his prophesy would be a little off tonight. She grabbed a rock and threw it long, the small cracking sound coming from a few hundred feet to the side, causing everyone to turn and go towards it.

"Now!" Eurydice whispered and grabbed Hadiya, pulling her into the boat and under a tarp. They could hear the muffled voices of the gods as they returned from the false alarm and could feel the boat rock as they got in. Eurydice's stomach churned at the feeling – she hoped the boat would hold up with the extra weight. Of course, what weight were two young shades like them compared to the gods? She was sure they would be fine.

"Damn the Underworld for being so hot," she whispered to Hadiya as she felt the boat lurch again and set off on its journey. "So, what is first?"

"First is the gate 'He of the Hidden Name' where he will pass Atum, the creator god. Then the 'Intense of Flame' and "Lady of Nourishment'. The 'One of Action' and 'Lady of Continuity' will be after that. The 'Lady of Continuity' holds Osirus' throne, and that is where we will be judged."

Eurydice frowned, "so that's great and all, that you know the names of the gates, but how does he get through? Does he have to do anything or does the boat just pass through?"

"Each gate is guarded by a fire-spitting cobra and another serpent that comes up from below. He will have to pronounce each identity correctly to pass."

"S…serpent?" Eurydice started to sweat and reached down to her ankle. "He know's the identities right? What happens if he mixes them up?"

Hadiya laughed softly, "he knows them, he will not mix them up because he does this everynight."

"Still, serpents," Eurydice shuddered at the thought.

They could hear another muffled name above, something like "jafari".

Hadiya shushed her, "that was the third gate, we are over the 'Lake of the Cobras' now.

Eurydice was trembling uncontrolably – a whole lake, full of cobras. And she was only a wooden plank away from them.

"My Lord," she heard muffled from above, "why does your luggage shake so? Is the journey not smooth enough for you?"

She tried to stop her shaking, but she couldn't get the image of the boat gliding across the backs of serpents and some of the serpents slipping in through the cracks in the bottom and bitting her ankles. As the tarp was removed and she saw the light of the sun god she suddenly wished she had stayed and waited for Orpheus like she was supposed to.

Ra grabbed her up, where she was relived to see that the lake was not made of snakes. "Eurydice?"

"Um, yes, hi." She started as Hadiya stood up with her. "We, um, were, uh, just admiring your nice leather bags. Good stuff; I bet I know just the vendor where you bought them. It was at Delphi wasn't it? Oh yes, I've been there, they had the most beautiful market in Greece…" she trailed off.

Ra did not look amused, nor flattered at the mention of Delphi. He crossed his arms and frowned down at her, and it seemed the room got a little colder.

"Please don't throw us into the Lake of the Cobras!" Eurydice pleeded.

"Who is this?"

"This is Hadiya, she's my guide." Eurydice said and Hadiya knelt.

"Im sorry my Lord Ra, please forgive me. I know I have trespassed on your boat and I know I did not have the money to even pay the Ferryman and was not able to be buried properly."

Ra rolled his eyes, "stand up girl." He rubbed at his temples a moment, "What did I tell you about this journey Eurydice?"

"That you couldn't tell me how to do it because its something that I had to learn in life," she started, and finished before he could interupt, "but you see, Hadiya here learned it in life, and she didn't have the money to be buried properly and move on, and so I figured since I had enough money for the two of us she could sell me the information and we could both go across?"

Ra looked at her in disbelief. "So you expect me to stop by your father's place and ask him for enough money to let you and your friend here move on? And did your friend tell you about the judgement, and what happens if you fail the judgement? Your heart gets eaten, by a monster. And I hardly think old Hades is going to be very pleased with you trying to sneak out like this."

"Please! If you just take us there…" Eurydice stopped, "wait a moment, if we just left Hades' Palace, how are we going to get back there so quickly?"

"The earth is round stupid girl. The boat just goes in a big loop. Its more the tradition of the thing – gives me something to do to pass the time all night."

"Oh. You could always just play cards or something. I hear Persephone is great at strip poker." Ra lifted an eyebrow at her words. "Of course not that you would want to play strip poker, since she's your sister, or your neice, or something along those lines." Eurydice looked up a moment, "you confused me with all your talk about the Egyptians earlier, but Im sure she's a good opponent at regular poker as well."

"Zeus help me," Ra muttered. "I will drop you off at the Fifth Gate, but you have to figure out how to get through. Deal?"

"What, you mean say the snake's name? How hard can that be?" Eurydice grinned, this was going to be easier than she thought. "What is the snake's name?"

Ra crossed his arms, "you have to figure that out on your own."

Eurydice's eyes widdened. "And uh, what happens again if I don't?"

"Well then the snake eats you," Ra leaned in to tell her.

Eurydice yelped and turned to Hadiya, "you know the name of the snake right? Tell me you know the name of the snake!"

Hadiya shrugged, "Only the wisest Ra knows the name of the snake."

Eurydice glarred at Ra, then sat down and got to thinking. I don't suppose 'open seseme' will work.

They had reached the Fourth Gate and Eurydice's eyes widdened at the sight of the two large snakes, one spitting fire. Ra calmly faced them and spoke a single word, "mafuane."

"What? That's not Greek! How am I supposed to guess the name if its not in any language I have ever heard of?" She turned to Hadiya, "please tell me you know what that means."

"It is soil." Hadiya answered solemnly, "we are entering the gate where the crops are divided amoung those of the Underworld."

"Alright, so that makes sense," Eurydice brightened slightly. "I don't suppose you know the word for 'place where the monster is going to eat our heart if we fail the judgement'?"

"No, but I know the word for judgement."

Eurydice's eyes lit up, "great!" She sat up straighter.

"Minkabh."

Eurydice tried to repeat it, "I think you are missing a vowel in there at the end. Are you sure that is the right word?"

"Are you sure that is the right name?" Ra asked with his eyebrows high.

"You, be quiet, you are ruining my concentration." Eurydice frowned as she continued to try to pronounce the name.

Ra crossed his arms and turned to Hadiya, "you are not allowed to speak for the rest of the journey."

Hadiya nodded and looked at Eurydice worriedly. Eurydice looked up at Ra, "what was that for!"

"Because you have not learned," was all he said.

Eurydice looked up; they were approaching the Fifth Gate! "Minkubah, Minkabu, Minkabug. Oh I can't say it!"

"Maybe that isn't the word," Ra suggested.

"Of course it is, you just want to see me get eaten up." She closed her eyes and tried to remember exactly how Hadiya had said it, but she couldn't concentrate. When she opened them again they were slowing down at the Fifth Gate.

"Passsssssword," the lower snake hissed.

"Minkubuh," Eurydice said unsure, and looked on in horror as the top snake spit fire – he hadn't done that after the other gates! "Minkaboo? Minkabun?" The lower snake was starting to slither towards them, and was weighing the boat down in the river. "Oh no! Mink… Minkabh!" She smiled in victory, but quickly dropped it as the snake continued to advance. "But that the word! That's the word for justice! Zeus! Muses! Persephone! Have Pity!"

Suddenly, the snake stopped and slithered away beneath the boat. Eurydice clung to Hadiya, expecting it to come up from the bottom of the boat at any time and drown them all and then eat their bodies, but instead she heard the creaking of the doors as the gate opened.

"Wow, that snake must have a hearing problem or something," Eurydice said, "it took him forever to register that I said Minkabh."

"I told you, that wasn't the password," Ra replied, rather annoyed that he had almost been devoured by a snake. "The password was Persephone. She begged and begged her daddy until he changed the password to her name instead of his." He rolled his eyes – she was such a spoiled brat, and Ra had almost gotten himself killed everynight for a week after the change. He just couldn't remember it after having to say Osirus for so long.

As the boat hit land, Eurydice recognized Hades' Palace and squealed, hugging onto Hadiya. "We made it!"

"Seems to me we could have just stayed here and asked him to judge us in the first place," she said under her breath. This new friend of hers was too much to take.

"Thank you Apollo! Err… Ra!" she said as she jumped off the boat and walked over to a very displeased Hades and Persephone setting behind a rather large balance.

"You first," he said to Hadiya and shook his head in disbelief. They were the first two to ever get this far in such an, unorthodox, manner.

Hadiya's heart was weighed, and scale tipped with certainty towards the feather – she was free to join her Ba and Ka in the afterlife.

As they began to place Eurydice's heart on the scale they suddenly heard a voice. "Wait! Eurydice! Im here!"

It was Orpheus, and Eurydice's heart, although balancing perfectly only a moment before dropped like a dead weight on the scale.

He grabbed her into his arms, "Thank Zeus, I thought I had lost you a third time."

Eurydice tried to speak, "but I… we… the lake… and the snakes… and Minkabh."

Persephone smiled, "yes dear, Minkabh - you cannot cheat death."

Eurydice broke the embrace. "Orpheus, I…" He was smiling at her so lovingly. He really hadn't meant to turn back before; it had all been in love. The heart on the scale slowly began to rise to become perfectly balanced. "Orpheus, I am not going to let you hold me back. I am going to my afterlife."

Orpheus' eyes grew wide, "what? But Eurydice! I love you!"

She smiled at him with regret and turned to link arms with Hadiya and walk into the afterlife with her new friend.

Persephone ran off her throne with her jaw dropped, "daddy! Daddy she is just leaving!"

Hades shrugged, "she passed the judgement."

Persephone pouted and crossed her arms. She caught the devastated face of Orpheus in the corner of her eye and turned to him with a smile. "Orpheus," she cooed, "I hear you're a very nice young man, and I just adored that music you played for me the last time you were down here. I've just been dying to have you back. Here, you must be thirsty, why don't you take a drink of this water, it will make you forget all about Eurydice…"