I remember when the streets used to be crowded.
Filled with people who weren't scared, hungry, or even infected.. hard to believe everything took such a harsh turn. Many were young and old. Many thought they could live through this darkness. Bravery isn't what pushed many to have the desire to live. It was fear.
The fear to steal and murder, anything to stay alive. I hate being afraid. Fear had forced me to do things I still regret. Blood was the price to pay in my situation. Nothing what my father and brother did. I hate them for it. That they don't have blood staining their hands.
Blood. The color is a crucial and harmful reminder that was common in everyday life during the Outbreak. Even then more blood will spill in the holy war to come. That's the last thing anyone wants right now, and any choice will lead up to such damned consequences. I can't even bear the mere thought of it, but I'm fine.
The last ten years showed what human's are truly capable of. No law, order, happiness, and a peaceful rest. All because of one man who thought he could create a miracle drug. I blame him, and I blame those who didn't stop him. Though it was every one's fault who have done nothing to prevent the Outbreak.
The thorn of the past that will never go away. I hope that someday I'll shatter the fragile glass that is the pain, guilt, sympathy, and regret. A nice thought to think about. I hope for it. Am I truly that selfish to feel nothing? Perhaps..
Hope. such a word that I cling to, yet despise. Funny to say it's what keeps my sanity in place. In fact maybe for many others it does as well. And with that hope someday we'll rise again in a new dawn. But such crucial thoughts believe it will never happen. Yet the thoughts that are pleasing to bear says different. Mostly to question the cost.. what is our cost for salvation?
Will we have another downfall? We will be wiped out from the face of the earth? Or to join in unity with others through the thickness of blood ties, feeling sired of those who appear craving for a desire of salvation, peace, and a court of power. With a division that begins with a rise in doubt, a dawn that is crowned after the surviving hours of darkness, and then the tide of war that will be the cage from freedom. To the point where I'll never.. never stop fighting to receive my salvation in this new world. To never be restricted in a prison of fear...
Never.
For this is a land plagued by anarchy.