Ha, this story is funky. But you can read it if you want to. There are no parings in here but it could be hinted cause I wanted to. It's K+ or whatever cause I wanted to and cause there may be some cuss words in here or something. Yup.
Summery: If you saw Yugi and Jou running from a giant pastry, what would you do? Call the Muffin Man at 1-800-MUFFIN!
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or any other brand names I may have used in this. So no sue, kay?
Jou seems kinda OOC to me in here. Yugi does too. Jou talks weird cause I wanted to. It's smexy.
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Yugi And Jou And The Giant Pastry
Yugi was walking down the road to meet his friend Malik, because he had tied him up earlier when he tried to stab a cow, when he saw his other friend Jou. He walked up to him and said hello. Jou nodded towards him, signaling his greeting.
"Hey, Yug," he said happily "Where you off to, friend?"
"Oh, nowhere..." he said, cocking his head to the side. He had forgot where he as going. Damn his short memory span.
"Lets go to da City with everyone else. There's gonna be a carnival!" Jou spoke, nodding his head up and down with excitement.
"Sure, lets go!" Yugi told Jou, although there was a nagging voice in his head that said he forgot something very important, as they headed towards the City.
When they got there, Yugi and Jou were surprised to see the streets deserted and bare. They surveyed the destruction. The buildings were intact but the street looked like a tornado had hit it with a baseball bat then urinated all over it. The shiny yellow liquid, smell very like the above fore mentioned and looked like it too. Yugi and Jou were too afraid of the watery substance to walk any farther then they already had.
"Hey Yug?" Jou said slowly as if he spoke any more quickly something would rise up and attack him.
"Yeah?"
"What's dat stuff?"
"I dunno..."
"Soooooo..."
"I think we should get out of here."
Just as Yugi muttered those simple little words, a horrible creature rose in front of them.
"WHAT THE PHO?(1)" Yugi scream at the sight of the monster.
It was a huge razzberry muffin that towered over the city. It was at least 3 stories high and was drooling a foul smelling liquid that resembled the stuff on the ground. It had legs and arms that were tiny compared to the rest of its body and had beady little eyes near the top its head, which was the top of the muffin. Its whole body was covered in red dots, supposedly the razzberries. The sticky saliva that fell from the mouth of the great beast was bombarding Yugi and Jou and they found out the hard way that that stuff was very acid and burning.
"Gee, at least we know what that stuff was." Yugi said matter-of-factly while trying to shield himself with a trash can lid from a nearby trash can that melted on contact with the gooey spit.
"Yeah, but how we gonna get outta dis?" Jou said, eyeing the now blocked escape route.
"Do you know where the muffin man lives!" Yugi yelled as a large chunk of muffin flew millimeters from him head.
"Duh, he lives on Blueberry Lane, but how do we get there?" Jou swatted a half broken razzberry piece with a slice of the road the had broken off. The sky was darkening and fat black and gray clouds were rolling in like a ominous curtain of death.
"I don't know. What do you think? Whoa, watch out!" A small amount of goo had scraped across Yugi's arm, burning the sleeve all the way to the shoulder to a crisp. A tiny plop of goo had also reached Jou's hair resulting in the hair on the left side of his face was gone.
"Eh? I thi-Lookit!" Jou pointed to a street sign that said "Blueberry Lane: Home Of The Muffin Man, Baker Extremest"
"Lets hurry up and go!" Yugi and Jou raced across the street to avoid the spiraling acid bombs and arrived at the so called lane.
"Which one is da one?" Jou looked at the houses line up at the side walk. They were momentarily safe from the giant pastry because it had lost sight of the two. A neon sign that read, " The Grand House Of The Muffin Man", stood atop and hot pink and sickly yellow house that had two dancing muffins in the front yard and two in a secluded conner in a very suggestive position(2). Surrounding the house was a barb wire fence with various rodents and insects forked onto it.
"I guess this is the house. The muffin man must be a really sick kind of guy..." Yugi stated as he stared at the muffins. Yugi and Jou went up to the door, a puke green color, and rang the door bell. The door bell sang "Do you know the Muffin Man?". The door opened up to reveal a ordinary looking cafe that was creamish in color. As they entered, a short man with red hair, mustache, and chef clothing, sprang from behind a door leading to a kitchen and greeted them.
"Ello, I iz thy Muffin Man! How canz I elp you?(3)" The muffin man waved his arms around while talking and Yugi tilled his head in confusion.
"Ummmm...can ya get rid dat muffin?" (4)Jou pointed at a window. Outside the gigantic muffin had saw Yugi and Jou go inside the muffin man's house and was wreaking havoc on the neighborhood. Luckily, the muffin man was well prepared for an assault like this for his house was muffin poof.
"Ahhhhhhh, yez. Zat I canz zo. But firzt you muzt zo zomething for me...(5)" The muffin man spoke softly while stroking his mustache...
End of The Beginning (or Chapter 1)
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urinated-peed, pissed whatever you do in the toilet when you drink a lot of water...I wrote urinated cause it sounded more fancy...
(1) Pho is a Vietnamese noodle. Very tasty. Mmmmmm...
(2) They could be playing poker for all I care! Use your imagination!
(3) Hello, I is the Muffin Man! How can I help you?
(4) Lets say Jou knows what that guy says because he has a uncle that talks like that or something.
(5) Ahhhhhhh, yes. That I can do. But first you must do something for me.
Yay, I'm done! I'll write the next chapter whether you review or not but please review! It'll make it better and raise my ego! I must have a obsession with monster things don't I? Sorry for all the note things, I couldn't help it! Review Plewz! Press the Purple Go Button!