Disclaimer: Artemis Fowl belongs to Eoin Colfer, characters belong to respective owners, and Miss Kasey belongs to me. The general idea is from Miss Sandman's OFUM. I give credit to Miss Sandman and I have received authorization from her.

The Fanfiction University of Fowl

Chapter One: Bad Fanfiction and Enrollment forms

"Lissa flotted ovr 2 Artmis, and he hild hr in his arms. He kissd te top o hr hed an tey flw awy in2 te dak nite."

Rosemary Williams sighed happily and scrolled to the beginning of her story. The perfect couple, Lissa and Artemis. OMG. Artemis Fowl was the hottest person ever. Her eyes clouded over as she envisioned Artemis Fowl in a…..

"OW!" Rosemary shielded her eyes as lights suddenly burst on in her room. When her eyes had adjusted, three strangers were standing in her room. Two were hidden in the shadows, but a lady was right in front of Rosemary. She was black-haired and dressed in black velvet pants and a navy blouse with flared long sleeves. She was also wearing a black cloak with her hood shadowing half her face. She was holding a bunch of papers in one hand.

"Rosemary Williams," said the lady, "You have been caught writing insufferable fanfiction. I am Miss Kasey, and you will adress me as only Miss Kasey. Not Kasey, Kas, meanie, mean bitch, or a lust object. If you do any of the former, you will undergo intolerable pain and incredible mental torture."

Rosemary gulped. This wasn't sounding too good….

"And you are on probation. You cannot write anymore Artemis Fowl fanfiction until you have passed the Fanfiction University of Fowl. There you will learn the proper Canon, characteristics and attitudes of the proper characters, grammar, spelling, other whatnot, and how to deal with much pain," Miss Kasey rattled off. "If you decide not to enroll in the University, then you are prohibited from reading, writing, or even thinking any Artemis Fowl fanfiction. Here is your enrollment form."

And as soon as they had come, Miss Kasey and the other two shadowed creatures disappeared.

Rosemary caught the enrollment form and read it over. Whatever, she thought, who cares, and grabbed a pen from her desk. Name…Rosemary Williams….Age…14…..Race…Human….Lust Object…ARTEMIS FOWL!...Fav. Character….ARTEMIS FOWL FOREVER!...Blah blah blah blah… Rosemary carelessly filled out the rest and tossed it on her desk. Little did she know that the piece of laser-printed paper disappeared as soon as it touched the wooden surface. Rosemary crawled into bed and fell asleep immediately.

Enrollment form (Please send in an e-mail, not in the reviews. I do not accept any review-enrolled forms.)

Name:

Age:

Race: Elf/Human/Gnome/Sprite/Centaur/Pixie/Other: please specify

Gender: Female/Male

Lust Object:

Reason for Lust:

What sort of Fanfiction usually written:

Like slash: Yes/No

Luxury item you would want to bring to FUOF: