CHILD OF THE 80s
Written by Tora
Chapter 1 Missing mom
My name is Peter Quill… but I like to go as Star Lord, because I think it sounds cool. You may not think it sounds cool, but I think it sounds cool. It sounds cool, right? Star Lord? Has a nice ring to it! Yeah… but nobody really likes it actually.
Look, this is how I came up with the name Star Lord.
I came up with the name Star Lord when I was super little. I've always been obsessed with Star Wars (it's super cool) and astronomy. When I grew up, I wanted to be an astronaut and fly to the moon. Wicked dream, right? Well I never got around to it.
I was abducted by aliens, I was brought up by this blue dude. His name isn't important, my name is, so I'll spare you the trouble of telling you his name, even though it's pretty simple. Anyway, the other aliens were going to eat me, but he saved me.
When I say they were going to eat me, I mean it. They tied me up and put me on a platter, served with broccoli and lemon for garnish. Okay, so maybe that part isn't true. But they were going to eat me. In fact, one of the aliens was about to bite my hand off!
But I was saved. By the Blue dude, who I won't talk about, because sometimes he really annoys me, and I'm kinda annoyed by him right know.
But… like I said, a lot of people hate it. It's just because I'm special and they are jealous of the name. I mean, I was really little when I came up with it!
And they are also jealous that I'm totally better lookin' then that guy down the bar.
Right now, I'm still doing things I shouldn't be doing, but I have friends. The band of mercenaries weren't really my friends. They taught me how to steal and sell, but they weren't my friends.
My friends are Drax, Rocket, Groot, and Gamora. I won't go into details about their past lives, because this story is all about me, but I will say that even though I'm a hopeless human, they're always there for me. I think.
And I have this huge crush on Gamora, I'm totally in love with her. I think. But yeah, she's totally hot and I think she might like me back… I think. I dunno, with women you can never tell, y'know? When they say, I love you, they mean they hate you, when they say I hate you, they secretly like you. It's like everything is opposites for them! God must have created women to keep men entertained.
While I love everyone, something is missing… we've explored the galaxy like the people in the Star Trek show. You know, Captain Kirk? Spock? Hahaha—that show used to scare me. I dunno why.
I want to go back to earth. There's something I'm searching for. I've gone back to earth a couple times, but only for stuff. You know, stealing… umm… selling. Look, I try and not to steal as much as I can. That is, when Gamora's not looking. But being a guy, you see something you really like and you kinda really want it. A lot. It's probably shiny. Because shiny stuff is epic.
So when Gamora ain't lookin' I just... tuck that little shiny object that I'm coveting into my pocket. Simple. And usually I don't show it to Gamora or anyone else. The others like to get me into trouble. But I've seen Rocket pocket things he shouldn't, so I'm not the only one.
I bet you anything that Gamora likes to steal stuff too. She's just hiding it. It's one of those girl things again. They say not to steal, but what's the opposite of stealing? Yup, stealing. Opposite is a code, you see. All the guys know what I'm talking about, right guys? Girls have that little code? If you go take a girl out for dinner, she's going to insist that you pay for it, by saying that she'll pay for it. Making us feel guilty, I think it's also called reverse psychology. It's a nasty thing to do, and women seem to be the king at it.
Anyway, I think Gamora likes to steal things too.
Umm, holllly crappp, I've sidetracked a lot. What was I talking about? Right, earth. Earth is a mysterious place, now that I haven't been to it in a while. It's full of new ideas and gizmos. In a way, they've got the most advance technology. Maybe.
And they've got these things called 'Slurpee'. I don't know what they put in it, but it's got ice. And if you're not careful, it WILL bite you back. I think they make it out of some kind of alien juice that has a mind of its own. When it bites you, it bites the inside of your brain and your chest. So you need to be careful when drinking this kind of juice made from aliens. But other than that, it tastes really good. I never knew aliens would taste like fruit. Maybe that's why when I was abducted, they tried to eat me. Maybe they thought I tasted like a Slurpee.
So earth. I'm going back there. I'm looking for something, and I don't want to stop for anything.
What am I looking for that's so special?
My mother's grave.
I should have token her hand while I had the chance…
A/N: I'm kinda obsessed with the Guardians of the Galaxy. I wasn't expecting to like it so much! Can't wait to update this story! I've got it all written down mostly, so I'll be posting pretty regularly I hope. This story won't be super-duper long, but maybe a couple thousand words.
Anywayz, please leave a review! I love reviews! :)