Compromise

Summary: He didn't want to lose what they had, and that meant compromise. Kyro oneshot.
Timeline: Post-X3
Disclaimer: All things recognisably X-Men are obviously not mine. I just like making up my own stories.
A/N: Written in 2006 for the prompt 'compromise' on the theme of 'firsts' for the livejournal kittyandpyro community

John lay in his bed, absently opening and shutting his lighter. Kitty had gone ten minutes ago, leaving him once more to his empty room and overly loud, lonely thoughts.

"Please," she whispered, like always, as they lay on the bed together. "Come back."

He didn't know why she didn't just give up, because the answer was always no. But every night they spent together, she would ask before she left to return to the mansion. If he didn't know better, he'd think that she only came to him to recruit for the X-Men.

"I can't," he answered, hand lazily stroking her arm. "You know I can't."

She always dropped it after his answer, turning silent and still. And she always left a few minutes later. John thought that maybe it was because she needed to hope that he'd say yes next time, and the sooner she left, the sooner 'next time' came.

The first time she'd come, the first time she'd asked him to go back with her to the mansion, she'd asked him why he wouldn't.

"I'm not one of the good guys, Kitty," he said bluntly. "I've done a lot of bad sh...stuff. I don't belong in the X-Men."

"You do," she insisted, reaching out to rest a hand on his arm. "You belong with us. With me."

The corner of his mouth lifted in a sardonic, bitter half-smile. "I don't belong in one of those stupid suits, prancing around, saving a world that doesn't even give a damn."

She just stared up at him and whispered, "You could be the good guy."

John sighed and tossed his lighter on the foot of the bed. How could he be the good guy? He'd spent so long with Magneto, doing what he was told to further their 'cause', that he wasn't sure all of the old man's influence had worn off. He wasn't sure that it could completely wear off – after all, he wouldn't have stayed if he hadn't believed in what they were doing at least a little bit.

One thing he was sure of was that the X-Men sure as hell wouldn't welcome him back with open arms.

"They're not going to want me back."

She was silent for a moment. "Does it matter what they think?" she asked finally.

His laugh was bitter. "You think they'd let me stay just because you said it's okay? They're not stupid, Kitty."

"No," she agreed. "But they believe in second chances."

"Not for me," he said firmly.

It was strange, how much she believed in him. He couldn't even remember talking to her more than a handful of times before he'd left, and now they were…

Well, there was definitely more to their relationship now. And as much as he didn't want to lose what they had, something was bound to screw everything up. Kitty had pretty much said so herself tonight.

"I don't know if I can keep coming here, John."

"What are you talking about?" he asked as he rolled over to his side, propping his head up on his hand so he could look at her properly.

She turned her head and gazed at him. "The others are getting suspicious."

"What do you tell them when you come here?"

She sighed. "I say I'm seeing an old friend."

"Well, it's not that far from the truth."

Slowly, Kitty sat up. "I can't keep doing this," she said quietly. "I can't keep leaving them to come here. Things happen all the time and we're all supposed to be able to help when we're needed. But they don't know where I am for at least one night every week."

Narrowing his eyes, he said, "So you want me to go back because it'll be more convenient for you? Nice, Kitty. Real nice."

"That's not what I meant, and you know it." She looked down at him and reached for his hand. "I want this to work, John. But I have a duty to the X-Men. I'm just saying…I'm just saying that it can't always be like this. One of us has to do something, or everything will change."

John got up restlessly, retrieving his lighter from the foot of the bed. "One of us has to do something, or everything will change" – who was she expecting to bend? There was no way that she'd leave the X-Men for him. And there was no way that he was going to join them. But maybe…maybe there was a way for them to stay together. Maybe he could compromise.

He left before he could change his mind.

The mansion was quiet, and he couldn't see anyone around. But he knew that Logan at least would have recognised his presence, and that he only had a few minutes to find Kitty. If they found him before then, he probably wouldn't get a chance to explain. None of the others had seen him since Alcatraz, and it was unlikely that they'd forgotten what happened that night.

He located Kitty's room, remembering where it was from the time Bobby had dragged him up there to get her help on their Physics assignment, back when life had been uncomplicated. Praying that she hadn't changed rooms since then, he stuffed his lighter back into his pocket and knocked on the door.

"Bobby, go away, I'm going to sleep," he heard her call.

"It's not Bobby," he replied.

The door was yanked open and Kitty stood there with glittering eyes that widened in shock when they alighted on him.

"John?" she gasped. "What are…what are you doing here?"

He touched her cheek, damp from tears. "You've been crying," he said, trying not to sound as concerned as he felt. "What's happened?"

"Nothing," she said dismissively. "It's just…I get sad sometimes, that's all. After I – after I leave."

She stepped aside and let him in, shutting the door carefully after him.

"What are you doing here?" she repeated. There was hope shimmering in her voice, and the hint of a smile hung off her lips.

"I'm…" He suddenly found that he didn't know how to start.

Her expression turned to worry. "Is something wrong? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." John swallowed and glanced at the carpet. "Look, I'm not – I'll never be an X-Man. You know that."

"Yeah," she said slowly, unsure of where their conversation was headed.

"But I don't want to lose this. You and I, we're…" He struggled to find the right words to say, but came up with nothing. "I don't want to lose this," he finished lamely. There was a pause, and he lifted his head and looked straight into her eyes. "I'm not going to join the X-Men, but I'll…I'll stay." For you, he added silently.

Her brilliant smile spread across her face, and she closed the gap between them, throwing her arms around him and squeezing tight. He held her like he wouldn't let go.

"Thank you," she whispered. He answered her with a kiss, sliding his lips across hers, relishing the way she softened in his arms.

"Kitty!"

The door banged open, and John and Kitty broke apart, arms still around each other, as Logan barged in with his claws unsheathed. Bobby followed close behind, his fist already blue with ice. As soon as Bobby saw his former best friend, he set his jaw and began to move forward, but Logan thrust his arm out, barring his way. The other arm came up and pointed, claws first, at John.

"Kitty," he growled. "What the hell is he doing here?"

Kitty looked back at the man in her arms.

"He's staying," she smiled.

Fin