A/N: Lady Gaga + Ocarina of Time = Crackfic.
I know it's Twilight Princess but hey I haven't finished OoT yet. YET. I'm close though.
And TP is such a great game... Unf.
Enjoy.
After saving Hyrule and leaving Midna to her own devices back in her
realm of shadowiness, Link was finally able to sit down and take a day
off. Ganondorf was defeated, Princess was safe, and everyone was
happy. In fact, he was having a party there in Ordon Village. Everyone
was invited. Zelda, all the village folk, the guards and people at the
castle, Yeto, Yeta, the Zoras, Gorons, the monkeys, the Oocoo people,
everyone at the Zora lake attractions, Kakariko village people,
everyone. Even Midna. If she could get telepathic messages from that
far away.
Mostly everyone who was invited arrived. Since there were so many
people, the party was held at the ranch. The livestock were held in
the barn so there wouldn't be any accidents. They only seemed to be
lessened, however, as Princess Zelda accidentally stepped in some poo.
It turned out to be Epona's. Strange...
Her normally calm voice was low and dangerous when she commanded the
guards to do something instead stand around and be useless all the
time. As they rushed off to get shoes or something, Link put her up on
Epona. She got even scarier at that point.
But all that aside, it was a fantabulous party.
Some people got drunk (especially the Gorons, which was frightening in
a hilarious way), some people kept to the shadows, some people just
had fun and there came a part when a drunken Goron lifted Link on his
shoulders. The Goron stumbled around with a harsh grip on the hero's
legs. The Goron only let go when he attempted to keep his balance.
The Zora's eventually pulled out something akin to a radio and began
to play music. It wasn't the music that everyone was used to, it was
special music that the Zoras saved for special occasions. They called
it pop.
It was something new and exciting. Princess Zelda didn't quite approve
(as well as some townfolk) but only danced for the sake of pleasing
Link. Who had also gotten into whatever the Gorons had and was
standing atop two Gorons stacked on eachother, Epona at the side. Link
had these cool shades on that Midna would've definitely commented on
if she were there.
When another song began to play, Link busted out his moves and amazed
everyone staring in awe. And what the song said was true; no one could
read Link's pokerface. It was set stone hard. The shades made it all
the more pokerfacerish. When the song ended, the green clad Hylian
flopped onto Epona's back and passed out.
When he awoke, his head was pounding hard. Not as hard as it usually
would be since he rolled into walls and trees all the time, but
whatever the Gorons had brought was strong. It definitely wasn't
springwater, that was for sure.
His vision was sloshy and when he turned his head to look around, all
he saw was a fat dress and this weird nose and-
As his eyesight focused he saw Zelda by some Hylian guards. She seemed
to be using some healing powers.
"Sit still, your hearts are recovering," she whispered when he tried
to sit up. She glanced briefly up at him with a glare that pushed him
down with force. He closed his eyes as the darkness he saw swam. He
felt sick to his stomach but he wasn't sure if he was going to puke.
If he did, it would have to be away from Zelda.
Only when she finished her healing techniques did the nausea finally
go full force and caused him to spray fluid all over a guard. Zelda
closed her eyes promptly and rushed out of the room. The guard just
stared at him with a fierce glare before he marched away to clean
himself off.
The only guard remaining gave him a sheepish look.
"Sweet party, right?"