Authoress' Notes:
Hey there, this is Lambentsky :).
Sooo, I don't really have much to say besides this is my very first work(a Oneshot), so constructive criticism is very welcome. The idea for this fic came to me last night while I was in a heated conversation with my brother. Who, oddly enough, also has a shit-eating grin. Read and you'll understand what I mean.
It also was inspired by the idea of "people who you love but annoy the crap out of you." Because we all know that we have someone like that in our lives, someone we want to punch in the face and hug at the exact same time. At least I know I do, haha.
I'm really trying to improve my writing skills, and reviews will help alot. Help me get better :)!
Pairings: Light ItsukiKyon and slight KyonMikuru.
Listening Music: Wonderwall, by Oasis.
Disclaimer: I don't own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, obviously.
Updates: 7-24-09: I'm going to completely re-do this much, much later when I've gained more experience with writing. For now, this will have to do :).
Unforgiving Circumstances
Chapter One: The Shopping Trip
It didn't really take all that long for Kyon(or anyone for that matter)to figure out, after joining the SOS Brigade, that the girl known as Suzumiya Haruhi was absurdly ridiculous.
Either that, or to put it into more blunt terms,
she was batshit insane.
Ever since Kyon had joined(more like forced to join)the SOS Brigade, he and the other members had been subjected, more often than not, to Haruhi's ludicrous plots to propagate the SOS Brigade's "ever-growing"(non-exsistant)popularity.
Haruhi would be sure to drag every Brigade member into her shenanigans(Kyon's job would usually consist of some type of physical labor, somehow). The one who received the extent of her impractical abuse had to be Asahina-san, what with Haruhi's constant sexual harassment and orders for her to be dressed in scantily clad outfits to attract customers. More correctly, male customers.
Oh well, Kyon wasn't complaining
It wasn't so much that Kyon had to deal with Haruhi's troublesome schemes day in and day out, hell, he would even go as far as to admit that they added a bit of excitement to his, normally mundane, lifestyle. It even fluffed Kyon's ego a bit to know that he was accomodated with the lovely company and tea services of a maid-outfitted Asahina-san everyday(much to the chagrin of his male classmates).
Nor was it that Kyon had to witness Nagato's very rare, but very awkward attemps at simple human socialization(she had her nose in her books mostly everyday).
It didn't really bother Kyon as much when he learned a few of his fellow normal Brigade members..weren't so normal.
Time travelers, Aliens, and Espers.
Right.
No, no, no, there was only one thing, one person that really got under Kyon's skin.
Koizumi Itsuki
The rare shade of yellow in Kyon's world of black and white.
The absolutely frustrating type of blinding yellow that is obnoxiously hard to ignore and can never seem to keep it's hands to itself...
Yes, that one.
It was like every little hair, every tiny fiber, every miniscule atom that made up what was Koizumi Itsuki was directed and made entirely, to utterly confound and confuse Kyon.
Today, obviously, would be no different.
~IK~
It was utterly peaceful in the clubroom today.
Something had to be up...
Kyon could almost pretend that he was living a normal life with no Time travelers, Aliens, and Espers. That there were no such thing as closed spaces, no such thing as the Integrated Data Entity, and definitely no such thing as a crazy teenage girl being able to unconciously control the entire world with her fickle emotions.
Almost pretend.
Kyon had literally prayed to god it would stay that way, he was not in a particular mood to be parading around in a frog suit all day or making "The adventures of Mikuru Asahina 2!"
"Kyon!"
Kyon winced.
Oh right, Haruhi was "god".
She had finally arrived at the clubroom, it seemed.
The sound of a door slamming was accompanied by the shuffling of a book bag being tossed carelessly into one of the cubbyholes leaning against the wall.
Yes, Haruhi had indeed arrived.
She looked around to as if confirm that all members were present and appeared satisfied as she let out a happy, lopsided, smirk. A smirk that Kyon wouldn't have trusted if his life depended on it.
"I have a plan." she exclaimed confidently, pumping her fist into the air.
"Oh god." Kyon muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.
Kyon had no intention of hiding his disinterest.
"Okay, everyone, listen up!" she said ignoring Kyon's comment, marching up to the desk where he was sitting and slamming her hands down upon it, making a loud ruckus.
Kyon jumped at the noise.
"Eh!?" he yelled in surprise, flailing his arms up and successfully knocking over the conventionally placed tea tray Asahina-san(when did she get here?)was holding in her clumsy hands, spilling hot jasmine tea all over the front of his pants.
The tea tray and it's cute little teacups fell to the ground and landed on his foot, for good measure.
Kyon sighed, waiting for the chaos.
"Wahhhhhhhhhh! K-Ky-Kyon-kun, I am so sorry! I'm such an idiot! Let me clean you!" Asahina-san cried frantically.
Kyon paled, standing up and wiping down his tea-clad pants.
'Asahina-san, cleaning...the front of my pants!?'
"Err, I don't think that would be the best, Asahina-san. Why don't you just clean up the tray? I can clean up myself." Kyon stated, embarrassed by his thoughts.
"Oh, o-okay.." she said uncertainly, picking up the tray and the surprisingly unbroken tea cups from Kyon's feet, padding around the club room looking for something, most likely paper towels.
Through all of this, Haruhi looked on with a rather annoyed look and Nagato, well Nagato was just reading that same book of her's unblinking, as usual, and Itsuki was..hey wait a second.
"Hey, where is Koizumi?" Kyon said suspiciously as Mikuru meekly handed him a paper towel.
Haruhi, looking more annoyed by the second answered with an "you are retarded?" tone. "Kyon, were you not paying attention yesterday at the meeting? He said he was going to be late today because of some unfinished business."
'Ahh, so that's what he said? Probably off doing something for that stupid "agency" he works for.' Kyon thought accusingly, using the paper towel Mikuru had given him to wipe down his pants.
"Itsuki will be here in appriximately 3.2 seconds." Yuki said blankly.
Everyone blinked and stared at her, not expecting the random exclamation.
As if on cue, the knob on the clubroom door turned slowly and—
There was the the definition of cleverness itself, wearing his trademark shit-eating grin.
"I apologize, I'm late everyone, I had to feed... my cat." Itsuki said slowly with a dry laugh as he sauntered into the room with slight bounce to his step.
'Whats got him so happy today?" Kyon thought oddly.
He gave Kyon a small smile(which he did not return)as he went to set down his book bag by the cubbyholes, then moving to sit at the table by Kyon.
Of course.
'Right, feeding you're cat, you keep it up and I'll give you a real reason to be la—.'
"Alright!" Haruhi said as she interrupted Kyon's thoughts. "Now that there aren't any distractions..." She sent a glare Kyon's way, who merely scoffed and crossed his arms. "And everyone's here..." She sent a meaningful look to Itsuki, who sent her a apologetic smile.
"We can finally get down to business!" She practically yelled, excitied.
"Here we go..." Kyon muttered.
"Okay, heres the plan..."
~IK~
"Double AA Batteries."
"...What?"
"That's whats next on the list..."
"Oh...."
Haruhi had formed this little plan(which suspiciously sounded like she made it up as soon as she entered the club room, which she probably did)to hack into the Computer Society's database and steal back what they had originally stolen from the SOS Brigade. Or at least what she assumes they stole.
There were apparently a couple missing pictures from the SOS Brigade's Mikuru folder...
Which Kyon, ahem, knew absolutely knowing about.
So there Kyon was, unfortunately(for him), with Itsuki.
'It couldn't have been with Asahina-san, or even Nagato. I would have even accepted Haruhi as a partner as opposed to this! Being stuck with this, I'm-so-coy-and-can-fix-anything-with-a-smile-idiot!' Kyon raged inwardly.
They had been here for at least over an hour and being Haruhi's lapdog was getting tiresome.
"Alright, got the batteries, next?"
"Dango."
"Whaaaaat!? What the hell does she need dango for?"
Kyon grabbed the list out of Itsuki's hand, re-read it and sighed loudly.
"Dango it is?" Koizumi said humoressly.
Kyon grumbled out something along the lines of "bastard" and grabbed a box of the nearest dango, adding it to the pile in the cart of other random items from the list. He had been assigned to go on a little "shopping trip" as Haruhi put it, with Koizumi(the last person he would go with)to gather the items they needed for her "well thought out scheme."
It just had to be Kyon, to be stuck like this.
'If Haruhi needed to go grocery shopping so damn bad, why didn't she go herself?!'
Kyon honestly couldn't see why they couldn't just have Nagato hack into the system. It would definitely save a lot of time and make things much easier, he definitely wouldn't be shopping with freaking Koizumi of all people, if Haruhi would just be easy for once and let Nagato do her creepy little alien thing.
Then wham, done deal.
No, nothing was ever easy when it came to Haruhi but Kyon wouldn't dare complain(vocally, that is)because he rather liked his ear drums healthy and working, thank you very much.
Another thing Kyon found odd about today was that he noticed that Koizumi had been a bit touchy. Not touchy as in "oh, whoops, I accidentally bumped your tiny, girly, hand with my ridiculously larger, manly one", oh no, touchy as in "let me breathe in the scent of your hair as I act very stalker-like and sensually caress your nipples in public."
Yep, definitely that last one.
Kyon figured Koizumi just couldn't keep his hands to himself, probably didn't have much physical contact as a child and feels it his job to just go around touching people to make sure no one is untouched like him...maybe some disorder, or something.
Must-Be-A-Creeper-And-Touch-People-Disorder. Yeah, that sounds about right.
Or maybe, just maybe, Koizumi actually liked teasing Kyon.
Well, Invading Kyon's personal bubble was what Koizumi did on a regular basis anyways, but today was it was just unusual. It was like every chance he got, he would subltely bump Kyon's shoulder, or he would stand directly behind Kyon, breathing warm breath down his neck, tickling the tiny hairs at the base of his skull.
What was the most infuriating thing was that every time Itsuki did something along those lines, chills would race down Kyon's spine at break neck speed and there was absolutely nothing he would do to control it. Koizumi invaded his personal space 7 times today!
Not like he was counting, but..
"Kyon, may I see the list?" Koizumi asked politely.
"Huh? Oh, yeah..." Kyon mumbled, coming back from his thoughts as he held out his hand that held the list of supplies.
Then as smooth as a trained Espers reflexes could be, he swiftly took a hold of Kyon's hand, tenderly rubbing his thumb against the barely visible blue veins in the underside of Kyon's wrist.
Kyon's face flushed suddenly as he stuttered out a "Koizumi, what the hell are you doing!?"
"I'm simply grabbing the list, Kyon~." he said coyly as he finally let go of Kyon's hand, snatching the list as he did so.
"It appears that was the last item on the list, your in luck, we can leave now."
Kyon smiled.
"Unless there was something else that you wanted...?" Itsuki said teasingly.
Kyon then glred and stormed ahead towards the exit of the store, looking ruffled with a red tinge to his cheeks. Itsuki let out a light chuckle and then his eyes briefly softened at Kyon's retreating figure, before snapping out of his gaze, shaking his head and smiling, following Kyon's example and heading towards the exit.
~IK~
When they got back from the grocery store, Haruhi was asleep, drooling on the desk, Asahina-san was making more tea, and Nagato, well, you can guess where Nagato was.
In the exact same place.
"We're back!" Kyon announced loudly, he was annoyed that Haruhi was sleeping while he was stuck shopping with Koizumi.
"Ehh!?" Haruhi awoke with a start, looking around dazed. She wiped the drool from her face and stood up abruptly from the desk.
"What took you so long?" she stated suddenly.
"You did have a long list, Suzumiya-san." Itsuki said knowingly, interrupting what Kyon was about to say, albeit, in a definite, more calm manner.
Haruhi huffed indignantly and walked over to them, as if what Koizumi said was nonsense(Kyon wasn't defending the bastard but, you know).
"Well, are we going to get this plan of yours started, or do Koizumi and I need to introduce ourselves to another grocery store?"
Haruhi then gave them one of her infamous coy smiles and Kyon knew that whatever she was about to sprout out of that twisted little mouth of hers was definitely not good. Specifically for him, but Koizumi seemed disturbingly unperturbed as he went to sit down at the table.
'Why the hell was he so damn calm!? He should be sweating balls right now!'
"...Well?" Kyon finally said, almost unwillingly.
Haruhi then let out a triumphed laugh and took her time pulling out a white envelope from her skirt pocket.
"Do you know what this is?" she sing-songed.
"Obviously, I don't considering It's...I don't know, in an envelope." Kyon stated in dry sarcasm that produced a giggle out of Mikuru.
Haruhi quickly sent a smoldering glare in her direction and she meeped and went back to serving her tea to Itsuki.
She then proceeded to turn her attention back to Kyon and open the envelope.
Haruhi pulled out a series of 5 pictures featuring Asahina-san in questioning positions from god knows where.
'Where the hell did she get those!?' Kyon thought frantically.
"It seems that the mystery has been solved." Itsuki said cheerfully.
Kyon gave him a look.
"The missing pictures of Mikuru were in the club room the entire time, and we didn't notice until you two left, and there was no point in wasting time to come get you. I sent Mikuru and Yuki to the Computer Societies club room and they couldn't find anything, So I was really stumped. But when they got back I found them. You were gone for a long time too! Did you at least get my dango, Kyon?"
Kyon stood there with his mouth agape, and an "are you fucking serious?" expression on his face.
"Well, Kyon!?" she said loudly.
"Yes! Here!" He said angrily, coming to his senses. He searched through the bag of random items, grabbed the box of dango and threw it at Haruhi.
"Woo, dango~." she said happily, catching it, and letting out a amused smile, she padded across the room to sit down at the SOS Brigade's leader's desk.
Kyon sighed loudly, but followed Itsuki and sat down at the table and let his head down.
Which on his way there, he accidentally tripped Asahina-san and she split hot jasmine tea on him.
Again.
Kyon let out another loud sigh.
It was just another day in the SOS Brigade.
~IK~
Kyon and Mikuru had been assigned clean-up duty today(thanks to Haruhi). They were cleaning up various trash items(one being Haruhi's dango container, ugh). Yuki and Haruhi had left a while ago, and the only ones left were himself, Mikuru, and of course, Koizumi.
"You know whats funny, Kyon-kun?" Asahina-san began was they cleaned up her tea mess. "Is that those pictures that we lost, the ones from the Mikuru folder, they were right near Koizumi-san's book bag. You'd think we would of noticed it sooner, before you guys left, huh?" Asahina-san giggled out.
Kyon froze immetiately and dropped the mop he was holding.
'What!'
Kyon did a complete 180 to glare directly at none other than Koizumi, who was leaning up against the club room's wall, smiling like the Cheshire cat himself, eyes glinting under the light of the sunset flickering into the club room.
Kyon, eyes never leaving Koizumi's, bit out through gritted teeth "I'll take care of the rest, Asahina-san. You can go on home now."
"But Kyon-kun, there's still some stuff le—."
"No, I'll do it. You can go home." Kyon interrupted her.
Mikuru, knowing when it was time to go, sensed the tense atmosphere decided to heed Kyon's offer, quickly gathered her belongings, and skittered out of the room faster than Kyon thought possible for her.
He then quickly turned his attention back to Koizumi.
"Now, Kyo—."
"No!, there's no possible way that those pictures could of ended up here. I've had them at my house, In my room! For quite some time, I might add. So someone, most likely you, had to of broken into my house and taken them from me, and waited until Haruhi noticed that they were missing. Then you waited for her to scheme up something and then you took the photos with you to school. That's why you were late, you wanted to slip the photos into the club room without Haruhi noticing in time. You lying bastard, you probably don't even have a cat!" he finished angrily, pointing an accusing finger at Itsuki.
"Kyon, why would I do such a thing? For what would I ultimately gain by this entire situation, what would I even merit from this ordeal?" Itsuki spoke carefully.
"How the hell am I supposed to know...?" Kyon deadpanned, he hadn't thought that far.
"Some quality time with you, perhaps?." Itsuki added tactfully, never missing a beat.
"Well!...wait, what?" Kyon stated dumbly, not fully understanding.
'Koizumi had deliberately set up this entire scheme, been the mastermind behind it all. All for what purpose? To get quality bonding time with me?'
Maybe Haruhi wasn't the only one that was batshit insane.
"No, I do not own a feline companion, either." Itsuki said, eyes twinkling.
"What are you talking about Koizumi?" Kyon said, starting to get rather ticked off with this whole day.
Then, suddenly, Itsuki became serious, and his eyes narrowed.
Kyon visibly took a step back.
Koizumi could be intimidating.
Itsuki took a step forward.
"Kyon, I was ultimately sent here from my agency to watch over, and record the actions of the entity known as Haruhi Suzumiya. However, I had not intended or even expected that I would come across someone, like you. You have become my biggest distraction." as he finished, his voice became softer.
This was weird, did Koizumi sound almost...vulnerable?
"Such unforgiving circumstances, being torn between work and natural instincts" Itsuki muttered lowly.
Kyon blinked, puzzled.
'What did Koizumi mean, exactly?'
Then as if what had transpired mere moments ago never happened, Itsuki was back to his own teasing, playful self.
"What, confused Kyon-kun?" he stated mockingly.
"...Just a bit." Kyon stated bluntly, sarcastically.
Itsuki let out a knowing chuckle.
"Sometimes, when the world gives you unforgiving circumstances, you must learn to accept them. You must mold them to your shape, make them complete your identity. Make them yours. Only then will you be able to find who you truly are...and what you truly want."
'oh wait...oh, did Koizumi actually...?'
Itsuki, seeing Kyon's puzzled face, saw his opening.
He quickly took advantage of Kyon's dazed state and cornered him into the wall, taking him by surprise.
"Gah!" Kyon yelled.
Itsuki drew in close, so there was barely inches between him and Kyon, their breaths mingling together as one.
"Koizumi, you're doing it again.." Kyon stated, trying to appear calm.
"Mmm, doing what~?" Itsuki said coyly as he craned he head to nip gently at the soft skin of Kyon's adams apple.
"Invading my personal space! Whoa, t-that's ah!, w-whoa okay!" Kyon bit out, that felt nice.
Hearing Koizumi's amused chuckle, Kyon snapped to his senses.
"Okay! That's enough, way to close!" Kyon roughly pushed Itsuki off of him.
Itsuki, expecting this reaction, retreated slowly.
He grabbed his book bag and headed for the door, "It's about time for me to excuse myself, anyways."
Kyon glared, his body heat significantly higher than it had been moments ago.
"And Kyon..." Itsuki said, his hand on the door frame.
"Remember what I've said, and come back to me when you've figured it out. If you're to slow than maybe you might need a little persuasion on my part. Suzumiya-san has been bordering on becoming bored lately."
Kyon visibly paled, 'You have got to be kidding, Koizumi...'
Itsuki, seeing Kyon's reaction laughed lightly(or was it cunningly?)and left through the club room door abruptly.
Itsuki's words struck through Kyon like a hard kick in the balls.
'Unforgiving circumstances, eh?'
Maybe, just maybe, Kyon could work with that.
'For my sake, I'd better.' Kyon thought sheepishly.
"This stupid Brigade is bad for my sanity." he grumbled as he exitied out the doorway.
Owari.