This is my sixth fic, so before I start, I'm throwing an over-five-fics
party! And you're not invited! Nobody's invited but me! And we'll have so
much fun, I and myself, that you can NEVER experience because I HATE YOU!!!
Man, was that a fun party. . .you really should've come. You wouldn't
believe how many cheese curls I still have. Anyway, in this fic, my goal is
to expose a few flaws in Kingdom Hearts.
ERROR 1: THE KEYBLADE
*Sora is sitting in his bedroom*
Sora: Wow, I'm so bored. Maybe I should go on an adventure.
*That kid from Final Fantasy X appears. You know, the Bahamut Fayth*
Fayth: You can't tonight.
Sora: I can do whatever I want to. I'm the Keyblade Master.
Fayth: Oh, wow, a freaking key! What're you gonna do, club me to death with it? Honestly, that is the second worst weapon I've ever seen.
Sora: Second worst?
Fayth: For God's sake, Wakka uses a lumpy beach ball!
Sora: Blitzball.
Fayth: It doesn't LOOK very blitzy.
Sora: Look, why are you here?
Fayth: The door has been opened. This world has been connected. Tied to the dark-
*Ansem appears in his hood and backhands the Fayth*
Ansem: That's MY line! DARKNESS!!!
Sora: What world are you from, anyway?
Ansem: Uhh. . .Final Fantasy VIII.
Sora: Where were you in the game?
Ansem: Sleeping.
*Awkward silence*
Ansem: All right, I don't even know, okay? Huh? Ya' happy?!
Fayth: Where's this going?
Sora: You still here? Go home, we don't need you anymore.
Fayth: . . .
*The Fayth disappears*
Ansem: I'm gonna go now, too. See you in the climax, Sora.
Sora: Bye!!!
*Meanwhile, I'm debating about whether Riku and Kairi have houses. My conclusion:*
ERROR 2: RIKU AND KAIRI'S HOUSES
Kairi: Riku, it's raining really hard. What are we gonna do?
Riku: I don't know. Why don't you ask your boyfriend?
Kairi: Sora? He won't let me sleep on his floor. I tried.
Riku: Look! A box!
*Riku dashes over to a soggy cardboard box on the ground and climbs in*
Kairi: Can I come in?
Riku: Never! This is my land, I own it!
Kairi: It's a box.
Riku: MY country!
Kairi: What?
Riku: It's a. . .dictatorship!
Kairi: What do you-
Riku: Democracy!
Kairi: What's your-
Riku: Empire!
Kairi: I'm going-
Riku: Constitutional monarchy!
Kairi: You know what-
Riku: Dictatorship again!
Kairi: Goodbye, Riku.
*Kairi walks away, leaving Riku to his insane self*
Riku: Republic! Principality! Monarchy!
*As for Sephiroth's appearance*
ERROR 3: SEPHIROTH'S REASON TO KILL SORA
*Sora enters the Platinum Cup tournament and walks out to the ring*
Sora: There's nobody here. . .
*Suddenly, Sephiroth is reborn in all his glory*
Sephiroth: Now that I have revived, Aeris and Cloud will both be. . .what? A boy? You! Boy! Who are you?
Sora: I'm Sora, sir!
Sephiroth: Well, can't let any boys just live, running around all day. KILL, KILL, KILL!
ERROR 1: THE KEYBLADE
*Sora is sitting in his bedroom*
Sora: Wow, I'm so bored. Maybe I should go on an adventure.
*That kid from Final Fantasy X appears. You know, the Bahamut Fayth*
Fayth: You can't tonight.
Sora: I can do whatever I want to. I'm the Keyblade Master.
Fayth: Oh, wow, a freaking key! What're you gonna do, club me to death with it? Honestly, that is the second worst weapon I've ever seen.
Sora: Second worst?
Fayth: For God's sake, Wakka uses a lumpy beach ball!
Sora: Blitzball.
Fayth: It doesn't LOOK very blitzy.
Sora: Look, why are you here?
Fayth: The door has been opened. This world has been connected. Tied to the dark-
*Ansem appears in his hood and backhands the Fayth*
Ansem: That's MY line! DARKNESS!!!
Sora: What world are you from, anyway?
Ansem: Uhh. . .Final Fantasy VIII.
Sora: Where were you in the game?
Ansem: Sleeping.
*Awkward silence*
Ansem: All right, I don't even know, okay? Huh? Ya' happy?!
Fayth: Where's this going?
Sora: You still here? Go home, we don't need you anymore.
Fayth: . . .
*The Fayth disappears*
Ansem: I'm gonna go now, too. See you in the climax, Sora.
Sora: Bye!!!
*Meanwhile, I'm debating about whether Riku and Kairi have houses. My conclusion:*
ERROR 2: RIKU AND KAIRI'S HOUSES
Kairi: Riku, it's raining really hard. What are we gonna do?
Riku: I don't know. Why don't you ask your boyfriend?
Kairi: Sora? He won't let me sleep on his floor. I tried.
Riku: Look! A box!
*Riku dashes over to a soggy cardboard box on the ground and climbs in*
Kairi: Can I come in?
Riku: Never! This is my land, I own it!
Kairi: It's a box.
Riku: MY country!
Kairi: What?
Riku: It's a. . .dictatorship!
Kairi: What do you-
Riku: Democracy!
Kairi: What's your-
Riku: Empire!
Kairi: I'm going-
Riku: Constitutional monarchy!
Kairi: You know what-
Riku: Dictatorship again!
Kairi: Goodbye, Riku.
*Kairi walks away, leaving Riku to his insane self*
Riku: Republic! Principality! Monarchy!
*As for Sephiroth's appearance*
ERROR 3: SEPHIROTH'S REASON TO KILL SORA
*Sora enters the Platinum Cup tournament and walks out to the ring*
Sora: There's nobody here. . .
*Suddenly, Sephiroth is reborn in all his glory*
Sephiroth: Now that I have revived, Aeris and Cloud will both be. . .what? A boy? You! Boy! Who are you?
Sora: I'm Sora, sir!
Sephiroth: Well, can't let any boys just live, running around all day. KILL, KILL, KILL!