Spooky Kid
by Soliloquy Addams
"Our" familiar heroes are stumbling into Masque City, believing themselves to be on the trail of Ash and his gang.
James looks around, panting. "Are we really in a city? We've been in the wilderness so long, I forgot what one looks like."
Meowth, looking as if he'd be more comfortable draped over someone's shoulders instead of walking, announces loudly: "First thing I'm gonna do is get me a decent meal and soft pillows instead of lumpy ground."
"In a luxury hotel!" James agrees. "Then maybe I'll raid antique stores to add to my bottle cap collection"
Jessie, with hair ragged and body stooped from traveling, is too weary to be frustrated over her teammates' spending cash they don't have. "I definitely deserve some major pampering after all that camping."
Meanwhile an imaginary rain of bottle caps is showering James' head like coins. Unexpectedly, a lump appears. While daydreaming he'd just bumped into a man whose arms were pinwheeling. The bald guy blinked, found himself grabbing a steaming Jessie for support, and sprang upright with an apologetic laugh, one hand scratching the back of his head.
Somewhere on the street, a woman shrieked. "Police! This man has been attacked by Team Rocket!"
The trio looked at each other with identical grimaces. "We ain't been in dis town t'ree minutes and already we needta finda place ta hide?!" Meowth cried.
Before they could scram, the man called back, "Do you really think this is a real attack? These two can't possibly be the real Team Rocket." The shouter quieted down as he talked. "It's obvious. They haven't done the same old poem--" Sweatdrops appeared. "--They don't have any disguises OR outrageous costumes in broad daylight"- Eyebrows and veins twitched in foreheads. "--And no self-respecting member of Team Rocket would be caught dead in uniforms as ratty as those-" Fangs appeared in clenched teeth and fists trembled. The man turned from the crown gathering to the irritated team. "So these are impersonators, obviously. Yikes," he joked, "I sure hope you don't steal my takeout."
What? Jessie thought quickly. "Yes, we are the vicious and victorious Team Rocket." Confidence was back in full force. "Hand over your package immediately."
James, starting to catch on, no longer looked as if he wanted to flee. "Yeah, we promise we'll go easy on you," he sneered.
The man extended the package, which Meowth snatched. "What a good sport for our street demonstration," Meowth told him.
He did a double take. "Did he just talk for real?"
"Tape recorder," "Ventriloquism," James and Jessie replied simultaneously.
The man scrutinized one and the other then shrugged; but he looked disappointed. "You could have done the whole motto, or at least threatened me more," he grumbled.
James smirked. "Jessie?"
Jessie began by saying her first line. They recited it together as deliberately cheap imitations of themselves, intentionally holding back their capabilities. Their self-parody satisfied a few spectators who tossed coins Meowth picked up. When the rest wandered away, Jessie's temper flared and she stamped the sidewalk. "Hey, you creeps just watched our show, and you don't get entertainment for free! Pay up!" Then most of the other fearful bystanders gave a considerable amount of money before they cleared.
Team Rocket exchanged glances. "That was disturbing," James said soberly.
Not much later, at patio tables at an outdoor café, they split the dinner for two in 2 & 1/2 ways; not the most filling but at least everyone had something. It would hold for the meantime. James was counting their haul. "OooOOOoh. Who would have guessed people would hand us money just for being ourselves?"
"Maybe we've finally arrived." Jessie agreed. "Probably our easiest heist that ever worked."
"Actually, I think it's our only --" and James ducked a clobbering.
"Yeah, but it musta been your worst motto of all time. Even cheesier than when ya said it at Stone Town's ritz party while stuffing ya faces." And Meowth could not dodge his double clobbering fast enough.
"Our beauty and flair would have overwhelmed them if unbridled," Jessie boasted. "Still, we will have to think of the next scam soon."
"After we finish eating, right?"
When every morsel was finished they hit the streets again for ideas.
"How about surveying the pokecenter and getting the feel of this town?" It sounded as good as idea as any.
While walking, they passed a flier posted. All three froze, then walked backwards in unison like a rewind button hit them. "Hmmm, I think our next gig is already lined up."
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Walking to the appropriate plaza, the team alternately giggled over their chances or shushed each other.
"A distraction arranged in advance so we all can be on pickpocket duty!"
"We'll make three times as much at once!"
On stage, two magicians, a man and a woman, had everyone enraptured. They pulled parents from the audience, tied them down, wrapped colored scarves around their heads, and -voila-- fixed up their hair according to their punker kids' cool tastes - purple mohawk and green spikes. The audience roared as the parents struggled and fumed. After releasing them (changed back) the magicians stepped into boxes at opposite ends of the stage and changed places in less than two seconds. The next two volunteers were none other than Brock and Misty.
Brock, as always, did his goofy face and voice routine for the female magician. He eagerly said he wouldn't need to be hypnotized to do anything she said, and got led enthusiastically. Misty tried to tug his ear as usual but while objecting got taken by the arm by the male magician. They were placed in the 'mysterious boxes.' When they emerged, each remained in the same spot, but had exchanged clothes.
Brock squirmed in his tiny tee and cutoffs. "Nice legs!" shouted someone recognizable.
Bright red, Brock was paralyzed to do anything but squeeze his eyes shut and hug himself, shuddering. "All the beautiful girls who saw this," he moaned.
Misty wasn't too happy either after hearing the same familiar voice yell, "Now she's more of a tomboy than ever!"
"Toki toki, pbbrrrrii!"
Misty loomed over the stadium. "Whoever makes the next wisecrack is getting pounded in a pokemon challenge!" A puff of air showed Pikachu's exasperated sigh.
The magicians changed back Brock and Misty with a momentary swirl of cloaks. The man announced his finale of making a pokemon appear. To make sure there was no trap door, he asked the crowd where to place the plain, narrow screen. He set it down where they directed, and subsequently a Hitmonchan emerged. After the applause, the male magician walked behind it too; a pause later the woman moved the screen showing a vacant space where he had vanished. During the cheers she asked "everyone who likes them" to "show their Hitmonchan just how much," but provided one encore. She instructed one last volunteer to remove the screen after she uses it to disappear. She did, and the volunteer was left alone on the empty stage holding the thin screen as the pokemon began to walk through the crowds taking donations.
"They're good," he mumbled to the audience. "No flash powder." He even kicked the floor to search for a loose panel or hollow cavity for escaping, and found nothing peculiar about the stage boards.
Meanwhile, Team Rocket rendezvoused to compare hauls. Unexpectedly, there wasn't much.
"I got wrapped up in the show," James said lamely.
"And I was busy laughing at the twerp squad," Jessie whined.
"Looks like da diversion was just too good."
"Cheer up," Jessie responded to James, who was looking downcast. "It was worth it to witness a humiliation like no other."
He pulled together and brightened. "Brock does not make a good junior high girl."
"Not like we do anyway."
One smiled meaningfully, the other blushed.
"Hey guys, wake up here, we gotta prize all lined up." Meowth inspected one and the other. "Your instincts must be getting less sharp to not pay attention to THIS." He grabbed them both and pointed through the crowd and wondered why he hadn't simply used Scratch to get their interest.
Jessie announced, "Not only a rare pokemon but a pile of dough as well." James declared, "It's almost too good to be true." They quickly decided which of their disguises and characters to use for the occasion.
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Minutes later, the pokemon finished making the rounds. Those who did not want to give tips nonetheless paid just to get close enough to see if it was a real Hitmonchan and maybe get some clues. Yet the mystified people had to go home with no hints about the tricks.
Two very energetic, blonde, middle school girls followed the pokemon to the backstage dressing room and peeked in from opposite sides of the doorway. The female magician had completely finished replacing the props and was sitting on folded legs. The Hitmonchan melted to a flame of mist, causing gasps from the eavesdroppers outside. The creature somewhat resembling a Gastly floated onto her lap.
One of the schoolgirls brashly entered and introduced herself. "We're junior high students and now we're big fans since seeing your show. You're amazingly cool."
"CoOol!" the other chimed, and got elbowed in the ribs.
Forgetting about their mission for the moment, the first one blurted, "You know, you looked a lot older up on stage. Are you really just a silly child?"
" 'Silly child'?" The young magician was not bothered. "We are all equals here, are we not."
"Right," Jessie mumbled. How could she forget they're supposedly all children? "So like, who's your assistant?" she rushed on.
The magician petted the mist. "You got to see what no one else has yet," she murmured. "I am called Kid. This creature is Spooky." A whisper echoed loudly. "It uses illusion power for all the effects in the show, including my partner and the Hitmonchan." Her listeners were interested to learn neither of her helpers was real. "And since Spooky cannot speak aloud, my part is all the voices. Since you're admirers I hope you're trustworthy with my secret." The smoke whispered again. "Hmm? Yes. Spooky would assume a form and bow if it weren't too worn out from the act."
"In that case¼" Simultaneously knowing the right time, the two synchronized whipping off their schoolclothes to reveal the well-recognized symbols of Team Rocket. "Your pokemon's weak so prepare for trouble." "And you're all alone so make it double." They completed the whole thing and Meowth jumped into the backstage from a different entrance.
"Glorious! I am very fortunate to see a performance such as this. Yes, I choose to 'surrender now'."
Team Rocket was shocked. This had never happened before. Meowth asked if she had a screw loose.
"As you can see, my pokemon is unable to battle. Rather than risking harm, we voluntarily and happily surrender. However, there is one condition: you must take me as well. Because of our unique link we are inseparable."
Meowth glimpsed a temporary vision. A 10-year old boy with oversized brown hair stands in a jungle. "I'm your Digimon partner for life, Tai!" declares an ecstatic, bouncing pink head. "I think she might be telling da truth, guys."
The other two listened. "And bringing a person would help us how exactly?"
"You two don't exactly get gold stars in the pokemon obedience department," he reminded them. "With a monster that actually follows orders, we could do a lotta damage!"
Team Rocket reluctantly became unanimous. "You'll be obedient and all that," Jessie demanded, nose-to-nose for maximum intimidation. "We'll call your bluff, since you asked for it, but you may live to regret it."
Kid nodded somberly. "The pact is accepted."
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Two pokemon and three humans exited the theater. The humans are arm-in-arm, with the brunette decidedly in the center, appearing under no duress at all. Incredibly, the brunette tried small talk.
"So besides getting me and my familiar, what brings you to Masque?"
James did his best impression of a certain voice actor. "The same thing we do everyday, Kid. Try to steal all the pokemon of the world." He tittered at his own comic genious.
"James, how COULD you." Jessie immediately thwacked his shoulder.
"But Jessie, she already knows we're criminals. We stole her, remember? And you know what else? She's our prisoner. What's she going to do, warn the police without escaping first?"
"I'd hate to prove you wrong, Jess, but Jimmy boy has a point," Meowth added.
"I want to be a pokemon, pokemon (thief) master!" The cheerful boy loudly sang along with a certain ending theme, adding one extra word. "Pokemon thief master!"
Jessie seethed. "James, you're going to--"
"There they are. I knew we'd find them."
Our party turned to see the local Officer Jenny being led by the hand by Ash and so on.
Is it really possible the twerp got the jump on us and spied on us first, Team Rocket wondered. Next they wondered how Ash or anyone could recognize them in the first place.
Jessie and James quickly looked down at themselves, then at each other, then back again. After this, they crashed to the ground. They were still in uniform after disrobing for the motto. "This can't be happening," they exclaimed.
Meowth demanded, "How could ya forget?"
Jessie snapped, "You were looking straight at us too. Why didn't YOU remind us?"
"We never had to get dressed again to make our getaway," James volunteered. "We always tried to escape and got blasted off." In a completely different tone he carried on, "Then again maybe it was the lack of nutrition when we didn't eat for four days."
"It's your fault for mentioning the cops," Jessie bawled.
"Well? State your identity." Everything, especially the 'blasting off' bit, should have been a tipoff, but by rules characters can't overhear particular conversations meant for the audience only. Still, Officer Jenny had no more patience to ignore their chatter. "If you're not the well-known pokemon thieves, let's see some proof."
"They sure are Team Rocket," interrupts Kid.
Deathly silence.
A doom bell peals.
The background changes to scorch marks over a blasted landscape.
Fire burns in the eyes of all the Rockets and every powerful weapon at their disposal are closing in. All Hell's fury almost descends on her.
Next without warning the background changes yet again to darkness with a single spotlight, and fast-tempo digital music plays. Kid becomes an announcer as if for a fashion show with microphone in hand. First, the spotlight centers on James.
"Here we have the incredible, delectable 'James'." An imaginary audience applaudes, much to James' and everyone's confusion. "With a splendidly toned body and abs, under painfully accurate clothing, he portrays the very likeness of the infamous gangster. As you can see, everything from the gloves to jacket with innovative slit at the bottom of the 'R' to his signature rose- " One spontaneously pops into existence in his hand. "-Were replicated faithfully. Even the hair, eyes, and facial features, which fans swoon over, are indistinguishable." Here James flashes one of the many original poses (body straight, one fist on hip, head turned, sniffing the rose in the other hand) not sure why he does so.
Now the spotlight seeks out Jessie. "One would have to search high and low for a model as breath-taking and mouth-watering as this one. As with her partner, everything is measured and custom made precisely, from the 4" heels to the 8" of skin between thigh-high boots and skirt, to the suggestive and fascinating slit to the center of the 'R' of her jacket. With superb makeup and the finely-crafted elegant hair sweep, she has spent great care in achieving the prime mode of beauty as the notorious lawbreaker -the outstanding 'Jessie'." Another imaginary audience applaudes as she flaunts her own special pose.
The spotlight changes again. Meowth bathes in the light as he puffes out his chest and proudly displayes his paws and claws; his charm sparkles. "Let's wrap this up. And this is a replica of the pickpocket pokemon, Meowth." The spotlight clicks off, leaving Meowth to blink his large, surprised white eyes in darkness. Instead of applause, crickets can be heard chirping.
The scene returns to the normal street with everyone standing around Officer Jenny, waiting to hear what she has to say. Both teams have sweat drops waiting to grow on their heads. No one breathes. After an endless moment she makes her statement:
"I'm really impressed. You all fooled even me for a minute." She salutes. "Keep up the good work, and bring lots of smiles to Masque's citizens."
Ash and his gang were taken aback. "But but but but they really ARE Team Rocket," Ash pleaded.
"Yeah, right, and Elvis rode a Kangaskan through Main Street last week." Officer Jenny was annoyed. "Little boy, I have better things to do with my time than investigate prank reports. And you." She turned to the others. "You two, being a few years older, should have more sense than this."
Brock flushed again. "I apologize for these two children, ma'am, but they just needed some reassurance. If there's any way I could make it up to you, don't hesitate to ask." He proceeded to bombard and deluge her with papers containing phone, cell phone, beeper, e-mail, alternate chat room names, and web page address: Wwww.desperate_boy.comm. For a change, the police officer pushed Brock's face away before Misty could pull his ear.
Fed up completely, Officer Jenny ordered Team Twerp not to make any more nuisances of themselves for the remainder of their stay, in her opinion a lenient warning for these three hooligans. Misty and Brock refused to listen and kept arguing about it with her. (Ash couldn't, he was repeating "but" and twitching.) "Don't you realize what a fool you're making of yourself?!" Misty screamed at the cop. In response Officer Jenny locked Brock and Misty together with her handcuffs, put a hand on each of the boys' backs, and pushed the trio away.
"I'm taking you down to the station to fill out a 100-ft. restraining order. You won't be bothering these excellent people again." The others watched them shrink in the distance, still struggling.
"Hope youse enjoy da police station," Meowth called.
"Looks like Team Twerp is," Jessie added.
"Escorted off!" James finished.
"Ooh, it feels so good to say that," Jessie squealed.
Meowth was gleeful too. "Dis is da second time today we was let off da hook."
James scratched his head. "Yeah, why were we? It's like we're under a¼ have a¼ Jessie, what's the opposite of a curse?"
Jessie grimaced. "Don't you dare suggest we've been blessed."
James contemplated thoughtfully. "Maybe it was when that one lady we robbed told us she'd pray for us, and didn't shout or shake her fists at us or anything."
The resulting blow with the paper fan was light because James was not thrown forward and his head got hardly any whiplash at all. "I said I don't want to hear about baka prayer."
"OK, OK." James surrendered. He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, and tactfully strolled away a few feet.
"I might lay to rest the mystery," Kid suggested coyly. "You probably haven't seen the campus yet, but Masque City is home to a renowned Performing Arts school. Students come from all over, and most citizens have moved to town so they can raise future children to be the stars they themselves never were. Furthermore, there's less bickering than you may expect, and everyone enthusiastically supports everybody else's projects so they'll hopefully get the same in return." She smiled. "It's almost a thespian utopia." The scene pans out to show citizens, trees, performers, buildings, and all the city's grandeur.
The three eldritch ones made appreciative sounds of awe. "Awww."
"So, have you three given any thought to where you're taking me?" the girl asked nonchalantly.
The gang members exchanged a glance. "At times like these don't you wish we gave more thoughts to our plans?" James asked.
Kid stifled a chuckle. "If it is not inappropriate…"
Jessie pushed her. "On with it."
"I have an account at the Serendipity Hotel. Since it is paid in advance, you may make the most of it."
Jessie squealed, then insisted on maintaining composure. "That will do. Take us there."
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Minutes later, after a walk and an elevator ride, they unlocked the door to an apartment a fifth from the top of the towering resort. Team Rocket discovered not a room but a suite -- with multiple rooms including a lounge, plenty of beds for all, and inconceivably luxurious surroundings. It probably cost more than they got all year. Opulence certainly was the opposite of the condition they were used to.
"WheeeEEE!-ooof." James flung himself through the air with abandon at one of the giant, inviting beds in the next chamber. The ample springs bounded him high in the air before flopping him down again. For the moment, he simply lied on his belly, face buried in the padding. "Ah-hhhh," his moan deepened as the soft, thick blanket absorbed his body. The others looked on enviously.
Meowth was the next to appropriate his particular niche. Soon he got busy arranging sofa pillows into a neat nest that would catch the maximum relaxing current from one of the air conditioner vents.
Jessie explored the suite and found the bathroom contained a tub, not a shower. "Anybody need to get in here? Good. I called it." And she slammed the door. The next sounds were zippers being undone, hard boots hitting the floor, and plenty of running water.
Kid approached the phone.
"Noooo!" James scrambled off the bed, sprinted and took a flying tackle. His surprised target dodged and crouched in time, and the boy sprawled on the floor. Meowth burst out laughing.
The girl stooped beside him. "What was your intent?"
Woozy planets orbited his noggin. "I don't know my intent, but you were going for the phone. You, um, could have been telling someone where you are."
The caustic feline scoffed. "Do you ever know what you're talking about?"
Kid made a face and extended a palm. "We already met the authorities today. If I were going to expose you, it would have been then. What would I have to gain by doing so now?"
The teen grasped her hand and pulled himself upright. "I do so know what I'm talking about, Meowth. If it wasn't calling for help what were you doing?"
"Calling for help procuring dinner. Room service here is quite nice; what do you fancy?"
He answered promptly, "Half a dozen Mexican pizzas, three ice cream bars, four grilled cheese sandwiches and … a hot dog."
Kid looked down at his abs, up at his face, back to his waist, and into his eyes. Mystified, she finally said, "As you wish. And you?"
The cat ordered two meals of chicken, fried and grilled.
James thoughtfully dashed to the bathroom, pressed his face against the frame, and yelled for Jessie's opinion. The portal cracked open from her side and a torrent of foam volleyed out through the slit, coating the Rocket with a veneer of fluff. "I think I can hear you well enough without shouting in the middle of my bubble bath. Order me one of everything exotic and expensive." With that she clicked the door shut again.
"What she said," James emphasized.
"Very well. Shrimp, steak, and lobster it is." She placed the order for all, increasing it by two species of fresh fish and rice, and surveyed her abductors. By now the feline had found as much peace and relaxation as the soaking Rocket, and the other thief had found the television. The captive opened her thoughts to her partner Spooky's mind in a private union of telepathy. Everything we anticipated has come to pass.
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Author's notes: Um, o-okay. I don't like putting up uncompleted series, but I wrote this series a year ago (and off and on since). It deserves to be my first story, so here's chapter one. This also gives the freedom to move on to post other, shorter, whole works.
If you like it, tell me which lines are the best, and if you didn't, say what's wrong with it.