"I look over at James. And when he isn't looking back, something inside of me shatters. He loves her."

Oneshot about some of Juliet's thoughts during The Incident. Reviews appreciated!

Tea Parties

I stand there, listening to Rose and Bernard. The love, you can see it in their eyes. A couple that was meant to be. Two people who were destined for each other since the beginning of time.

No one would know, without the help of a file, that they were only together for less than a year before the crash.

It just goes to show you that it's never too late to find your love.

My mind wonders back to James, as it so often does. Three years ago, I would never have imagined us.

Love can sneak up on you. It can be hiding in places you wouldn't dream of looking, you wouldn't want to look.

Sawyer? The man who hated me? The one who first saw me standing there on the beach, unwanted and unwelcome, and responded with a cold, "What the hell is she doing here?" The man who played the tape I had been forced to make for Ben to get the entire camp to despise me?

I didn't want to love him. Not then.

But, we did look. We looked into each other, and we liked what we saw. Loved what we saw. And now, three years later, I can't imagine my life without him. I don't want to think about what would have happened if I went on that sub, if Jack and Kate didn't leave, if Sawyer didn't jump.

Endless possibilities. A thousand little decisions that determine the future. It makes you wonder what is really meant to be. One wrong choice can lead to another and another, and soon your whole life is off track.

I try not to think about it. I try not to think about everything we all could have done differently to make it so that James and I were never together. I try not to think about what would have happened if the helicopter had enough fuel for all of them. I try not to think about what could have been if Jack jumped and James stayed.

Of course, that wouldn't happen. Jack is not James. Jack may try to fix things, but he's not a hero.

I am faintly aware of the conversation going on around me. I decide to join in.

"Rose, we just need to know which way the Dharma barracks are from here so we can stop Jack. Or you're going to be dead. We all are."

"So we die. We just care about being together."

I smile at the look the two give each other. Love. Pure love.

I look over to James. They are right. We'll do what we can, but if we die, we die. And we'll do it like we always have, having each other's backs.

I look over just in time to see him glance sadly at Kate. Maybe even unknowingly. But he looked at her. He chose her.

"That's all that matters in the end."

I looked at him, and when he did not look back, something inside of me shatters. The capsule I had carefully constructed to hold everything I didn't want to admit. The tea kettle, screeching to let the boiling secrets out. It breaks open, letting all of the words and images I had hidden in there pour out.

Seeing them in the cages. Him giving everything up to save her. Jumping out of the helicopter. Always waiting for her to come back.

He still loves her.

I looked away, unable to take it. I was the second choice, I always was. He was everything I wanted and she was everything I couldn't be. He loved me, but it was different. He might stay with me because he feels he has to, but he'll always want her.

He'll always love Kate.

It's funny how love can sneak up on you. You can make yourself believe that it has moved someplace else, only to find that you were really just housing it until its true owner came back.

I fake a smile as I follow James and Kate back into the jungle when really all I want to do is cry.

"Are you sure you don't want some tea?" Bernard asks.

I turn to him, remembering childhood tea parties. Laughing as I moved from one stuffed animal to the next, pouring tea into their empty cups. A table surrounded by friends who loved me, who could only look where I made them look. Little creatures who couldn't use a look like knives to cut right through me.

Tea would be nice.

But then again, it wasn't the tea that made the parties. It was the people I shared it with.

"Maybe another time." I walk away, carrying the thoughts of Sawyer and Kate with me and leaving the shattered kettle that once contained them behind.

I might do a second chapter about Juliet's thoughts when she is falling, if enough people want me to. Please review!