Ron woke up on the cold stone floor of some room. He groggily stood up, shaking his head. Something wasn't right here…
He looked down at the ground, where he discovered he had no shoes, and-
"Wh-what?!" he spat, picking up the dirty skirt wrapped around him. "Am I in a skirt?! This is meant for girls! Oh, this is all kinds of crazy!"
He felt his hair, deciding to check if there were any accessories. Yep, there Ron Weasley was, decked out in a dirty grey skirt, blue apron, and a blue bonnet to match. He deeply hoped this was a dream, and if it wasn't, no one would see him like this.
He also hoped the boys in his dorm didn't put him in this and take pictures.
He shuddered at how everyone would react if they did.
Ron walked toward the steps of the room, having decided to finally exit the dark and cold room. The stairs creaked under his weight, giving him goosebumps. What if this place was haunted?
But that thought quickly died, for as soon as he stepped out, he saw three familiar heads sitting at the table, and none too happy to see him.
"Well, looks like sleeping beauty is finally awake!" Ginny complained, rolling her eyes.
"I cannot believe you slept this late!" Percy whined.
"Just what were you thinking, Ronerella?" Draco asked, an eyebrow raised.
"What…?" Ron trailed off, confused. "Ronerella?"
Draco rolled his eyes. "Yes, Ronerella! God, are you getting dumber by the day?"
Ron, completely dumbfounded, just stood there. "What?"
"Oh, don't give me that look!" Draco complained. "Don't you realize what time it is? Nine-o'clock - in the morning! You haven't even finished Percystasia or Ginnysilla's outfits for the ball yet!"
The red-haired boy didn't move yet again. "What's with the weird names?"
"I don't know," Percy shrugged. "It's your dream."
"What?"
"Anyway, the ball," Ginny said, changing the subject. "Me and Percystasia are going to Prince's ball; he's trying to find a suitor."
"I will win over the Prince," Percy gloated proudly, "and Ginnysilla will find whatever scum is foolish enough to marry her."
"Hey!"
"It's true-"
"Do you want me to tear you apart-"
"Bring it, little red-"
"Children!"
Draco shook his head. "Stop acting like this!"
Ginny and Percy mumbled their apologies.
The blonde boy turned his head to Ron. "And you, Ronerella, will stay here, cleaning and sweeping and whatever it is you do. Now, please, go finish up their outfits, now!"
Ron finally turned on his heel and vanished down the hall. He was very confused and slightly scared. In fact, he was extremely scared, and was prepared to go out and win the heart of the prince, who he hoped was a girl.
If it even would be a girl. After all, Ron was pretty sure this was the Cinderella story, and Draco was his step-mother, and Percy was one of his step-sisters… He hoped Harry wasn't the prince. Then it would be just awkward.
Ron was waxing the floor… was he? He wasn't really sure what he was using, but he was doing something to make the floor slippery and wet with a scrub brush.
Anyway, Ron was cleaning/pretty-fiying the floor, watching as Percy and Ginny - or Percystasia and Ginnysilla, these God-awful names - walked out of the door and into the carriage. Draco smiled smugly at Ron.
"We will be back sometime around twelve, Ronerella," he said, stepping out of the house. "Be back in the basement by eleven-thirty. Got it?"
Ron nodded.
"Good. Don't wait up!" Draco threw his head back and laughed, walking out of the house and into the carriage. Ron almost wanted to flip him off, but knew better.
He glanced out the window and into the starry night, suddenly having the urge to sing a sad, sad song about dreams but decided against it. He simply continued cleaning until the house was sparkling clean.
Some time later, he heard crashing coming from outside. Ron jumped up and ran out the back door, broom in hand (after sweeping the floor after he accidentally drop a vase), thinking it was a cat or raccoon climbing around.
What he saw made him mad with laughter.
"Hey!" Harry yelled, standing up after falling over himself. "Walking around in heels is hard work!"
"Why?" Ron asked, shaking his head and grinning. "Why are you wearing that?"
Harry looked down at his dress and cloak, one inch heels, and shiny, glittery wand. He shook his head, and countered, "You're the one wearing a bonnet."
"Touché."
"Ready for the bibbity-bobbity-boo?"
"The what?"
"Have you no childhood?"
Harry waved his glitter-wand over a pumpkin, which magically changed into a giant, white carriage shaped into a pumpkin. Ron suspected epic music would play in the background.
"Wow," he commented. "You could've just said wizardry."
"I know. But Disney made it like this."
Harry continued on, changing a cat and rat into two white horses, a minute owl into a driver, and a toad into another member of the crew (Ron couldn't quite put his finger on what those guys were called; door-openers? Extra help? It didn't really matter).
When he finished, Harry turned to Ron, a big grin on his face. "Now for you!"
Harry waved his wand, and changed the other's outfit… yes, Ron was ready to wear his great tuxedo-
"What?!" he exclaimed, picking up the silky blue dress around him. He felt his hair, and found it to be in a tight bun, complete with a headband.
His Fairy Godfather seemed to be trying hard not to laugh. Instead, he shrugged and said, "Hey, it's your dream."
"What?"
"Get in the carriage."
Ron climbed into the white pumpkin carriage - which smelled strangely of pumpkin guts - and listened as Harry explained what to do.
"Okay," Harry started, "remember, dance all night, the whoooole night away… but not literally. Be back before midnight. Midnight is when the spell wears off. Got it?"
"Yes, sir," Ron nodded.
"Good. Then you're off!" Harry signaled for the driver to speed off.
As the cart was moving onward, Ron thought he heard Harry say, 'bibbity-bobbity-boo!' And just as he looked back, he noticed the fairy-wizard was gone.
Ron stepped into the castle, meeting a gust of cold air blowing his way. Shivering, he walked to the corner of the room and just stood alone, noting how he was the only boy in a crystal-blue ball gown.
In fact, Ron was the only boy in a dress.
He silently cursed Harry.
He stood around for a few minutes, looking around, not sure what to do. He never really paid attention to fairytales, much less princess stories, so he wasn't sure whether the prince came to Cinderella, or Cinderella came to the prince.
This was all very tragic to the boy in the blue ball gown.
Ron looked up as everyone hushed. A person in a princely outfit - not hard to know it was the prince - came down the steps. He instantly noticed it was Hermione.
He walked up to the front of the crowd, only hiding when he noticed Malfoy and his step-sisters- not step-sisters! Gah! Cinderella was messing with his head!
Hermione strode over to him. She grabbed his hands, and pulled him away from the crowds.
"Hi!" she greeted, smiling.
"Uh," Ron said, "you're in a tuxedo."
Hermione shrugged. "This is your dream."
"Everyone keeps telling me that."
"It's true."
Ron and Hermione danced and swayed to the boring ass music in the background. They ended up in the courtyard, the whole crowd watching them.
Ginny, Percy, and Draco had a few colourful words.
Hermione giggled. "Heels and a wand?"
"I know, right?"
A clock chimed somewhere. Ron had the sinking feeling it was the clock in the movie that warned it was midnight and that he should start running and lose his shoe.
That didn't happen.
He stood up and said, "Seeya, Hermione." He turned and ran off into the night, tripped over the stairs, lost a shoe, then continued running away.
Then, he turned a corner and hopped into his carriage.
Hermione watched as it drove away.
"He's even weird in his dreams…" she commented.
It was morning - or mid-afternoon. Noon? Afternoon? Blah. It was sometime with the sun up. Ron was sweeping the floor, wishing and hoping he would get out of this dream soon.
And soon came sooner than expected.
There was a knock on the door. Malfoy answered it.
"Oh! Of course my children would try on the shoe!" Ron could hear his voice from the kitchen. "Just let me get them!"
Ron walked into the room after Percystasia and Ginnysilla came down. He instantly recognized Hermione and… Professor Lupin? What?
Percy and Ginny argued.
"I go first! It will fit my feet!"
"No it won't! Your feet is bigger than Bigfoot's!"
"Why don't I kick you with my big feet?"
"I'd like to see you try!"
"ENOUGH!" Malfoy yelled, startling everyone. "Percystasia, you go first."
Just as Percy was about to grab the shoe, Ron ran up and pushed him down. That felt good. He grabbed the shoe and said, "Yeah, yeah, I'm the one who wore the gown and the shoe, and surprisingly, you didn't learn my name even though we were together for two goddamn hours. Name's Ron."
"We know," Lupin said. "This is a dream."
"Just give me the shoe."
The professor looked to Hermione. She shrugged. He turned back to the boy in the dirty skirt, and gave him the shoe.
"Thank you." Ron placed the glass slipper on his foot, and showed it to everyone.
"It fits!" Hermione exclaimed.
"It does fit!" Lupin said.
"It fits?!" Percy, Ginny, and Malfoy asked.
"Yeah, spoiler alert," Ron said. He took Hermione by the hand and dragged her and Lupin away from the house. He didn't want the ending to be them getting married. Those endings are sappy.
Ron woke up.
He was back in the Gryffindor dormitory. He looked down, and saw himself in normal clothes.
"Yes!" he exclaimed. "I don't have to wear a dress!"
"What?"
Ron looked over to see Harry. He was rubbing his eyes sleepily. "Ron, it's three in the morning, what are you babbling about?"
"Tell you later," Ron promised, turning over and closing his eyes.
This time, he dreamed about the Three Little Pigs.
What the bloody hell?