Kaiba bashing fic!
with bashing of other YuGiOh! characters!
by KitsuneDewAddict

Yami: What were you on when you thought this up?
KDA: Nothing. The dew already wore off by the time I came up with this... *turns to the audience* Don't kill me if anything in this offends you in someway. This is just my boredom typing and it picked Seto to torture.
KaibaFangirls: Leave our Seto alone!
KDA: No, cause he's mine too! I bash/torture my bishonen. The more I like the bishi the more I torture them! And I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really like Kaiba! ^_^
KaibaFangirls: *disappear muttering something about sanity and KDA's lack thereof*
Yami: I almost pity him... almost.
KDA: ^_^ you're in this too, Bunbun. *turns Yami into a cabbit* Heh heh heh. Now do the disclaimer and I won't tell everyone what you and Sexy Biatch were doing at four in the morning.
Bunbun: O_O you were awake?
KDA: Nope, I woke up in the middle of it. Now do the disclaimer already!
Bakura: *Walks in shirtless* Start the fic already, DewAddict! I wanna see Kaiba squirm!
Kaiba: *glares death at the shirtless yami* You're in the fic as well, idiot.
Bakura: True, but I don't end up in a jail cell with (is hit over the head with a giant mallet by KDA) @_@ *swirly eyes*... but that's my cookie...
KDA: -_- I don't wanna know. *glares at Bunbun* do the disclaimer already!
Bunbun: *gulps, nervously eying the mallet in KDA's hands* KitsuneDewAddict doesn't own YuGiOh! She just keeps borrowing the characters for her sadistic pleasure. *ducks mallet blow* Eep! *Runs, or rather hops away and hides under the unconscious Bakura*
KDA: ^_^ time for the fic! *pops a video tape in VCR*
Kaiba: *pushes eject button, tape pops out*
KDA: *grins evilly at Kaiba* I could always make it worse, Seto-kun. I could change the cellmate to *whispers something into Kaiba's ear*
Kaiba: O_O NO! Not that! Anything but that!
KDA: I thought you'd see it my way, Seto-kun! ^_^ *pops tape in and munches on popcorn*
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Chapter One: Seto in a dress and a mysterious photograph


Seto Kaiba glared at Yugi's two friends, mentally kicking himself for agreeing to do this. But that girl would just not shut up about friendship, he was very tempted to kill her or at least duct tape her mouth shut. The only way out had been to do whatever Chihuahua and that other loser were planning. But Kaiba had no idea the two idiots would make him do this.
Do it or we'll lock you in a closet with Te'a for the entire weekend, Kaiba.' Joey threatened.
You aren't that cruel. I'd kill her within a few hours, Chihuahua.' Kaiba had said.
I bet you would, Kaiba. That's another reason to lock her in with you. But we've gotten our hands on some photos of you, I'm sure you wouldn't like the whole world to see. You're gonna do it or not only will we lock you in with Te'a but we'll post the pictures on the web.' the second idiot, obviously the brains of the two losers, spoke, putting something on Seto's face. Makeup.

This was worse than degrading, this was humiliating not to mention embarrassing. Seto Kaiba was blackmailed into not only cross dressing, but to go into a bar that was well known to be a homosexual bar. But Kaiba knew something about this particular bar that the dweebs would never know. He frowned, did they know their friends worked here?
How the hell did they get that picture? They wouldn't have given it to them, let alone shown it to those losers. Kaiba muttered under his breath before walking in.
Immediately, Kaiba spotted one of his two acquaintances pole dancing on the small platform. The dancer froze for a moment, locking eyes with Seto before continuing his erotic movements.
Kaiba grunted and scanned the crowd for his other classmate. The other was behind the bar, trying not to laugh at Kaiba as he made his way over.
What's with the dress, Kaiba? Though I gotta say you look great in it. It matches your eyes perfectly. Yugi greeted the glaring duelist.
Did you show them the photo? Kaiba asked, glaring at the drink Yugi put in front of him.
What? Of course not! I haven't shown anyone that! Yugi exclaimed, surprised.
The two losers that hang around you somehow got a hold of the photo. They're blackmailing me into cross dressing and told me to come here. I want to know how they got it, Yugi. Kaiba said quietly, I'm telling you now, if this continues, I will tell them about us.
Yugi was wide eyed a moment before staring into Kaiba's fiery blue eyes and saying, All right, Seto. I don't know how Joey and Tristan could have gotten the picture but if they continue to blackmail you, I'll tell them myself.
Tears came to Yugi's beautiful violet eyes, the multicolored haired was obviously upset at thought of potentially losing his best friends. Then Yami took over as Yugi went to the shelter of his soul room.
Greetings, Kaiba. He should be done soon. the Pharoh said, nodding towards the dancer on the poles.
Seto turned to watch Ryou finish his performance.
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KDA: that's it for this chapter!
Kaiba: Ryou pole dancing? What are you on, KDA?
KDA: *shrugs* the doc keeps changing my medication. I dunno. Why?
Yami: I only made a brief appearance, KDA!
Bakura: At least you were a bartender, Pharoh. My hikari was pole dancing! *looks at KDA* Who's better at it, Ryou or me?
KDA: hmm... you are the lunatic, Bakura and you're more likely to do it than Ryou. *glomps the still shirtless yami* and you're hot as hell.
Kaiba: I thought I was your favorite. *glares at Bakura*
KDA: uhh... well...
Yami: She's becoming obsessed with Bakura so she won't bash you as much, Kaiba.
Bakura: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Kaiba's lost a fangirl to me! I'm the hottest lunatic out there!
KDA: *blink blink* You sure about that, Bakura? Sephy is hot, too. And so is...
*accomplice of KDA walks in* Hey Spork no Megami, glomping the sexy biach I see. I heard you had Ryou pole dancing. I would not have paid to see that.
KDA: Hello spork no miko. Nabunaka had you come? * gestures toward the little, white monkey balancing a tea cup on a stick on ShinraiHimura's head.*
SH: *sweat drop* Yep. All though this is your fic. Nabunaka forced me to pop in and have a little something to do with the insanity that lies in these pages.
KDA: Really? UH... Seto... there's a monkey on your head... * points at SH's monkey that is now balancing a tea cup on Kaiba's head*